Snoop Doggy Dog of blogging

coming up with mad insane crap every single day -- hey! I did a blog because my mind is ablaze, ya. Not cuz I hate ya, but cuz I'm insane by nature. The ODD man, will only see me man!

I'm sure had I been born in the 50's, I would have been the Old Insane **stard. OIB. None of y'all better look at me funny, huh! Here's the wack -- now give me my money!

Terminator me on razor table.

Which fictional character represents me well? I guess Pondo Sinatra from Party Animal who was told why they call it **ssy*1, and spent the movie trying to acquire it through any number of means. Typically the underdog wins, but in this -- he dies in his dire attempt to acquire the one pure axiom. Reall, required viewing, the movie's tabbboo drug scene is Airplane level of over-the-top with a garden trowel for prepping and "cutting" the lines--really short mounds of coke.

*1 Naughty By Nature's OPP
---
And now for something, completely different: foley artists.

Robin Harlan is a foley artist ... did work on Party Animal -- thanks IMDb. Ah, the nearly lost art. In the early 20th century, hey had performed while watching the action on a screen. Now, they don't worrry so much about timing, as that it fixed in editing, but hats off to this nearly lost art!
Many must suppose that they haven't heard of such a critter -- mythos like the minotaur, but not so. Blowout, uh ... with Travolta, involved a sound recorder, but that's not quite it. A folly artist matches sound to action, like punching a roast for fist fight sounds. I wouldn't doubt that Nightmare On Elm Street relied heavily on these folks.

Scratch, scratch, scratch ... do you hear destiny, history, or rap?

Sinful sot

I was driving carefully last night, seeing the glowing eyes of wandering animals and being too slow to capture on camera the none-too fast raccoons crossing the rural road. I wasn't cautious enough and crushed and crumpled a sad little oppossum. I knew I hit something, but was unsure what. Stupidly I was thinking ... "I brought my tripod, but forgot the wedge ... go back and get it." It was raining and I dispelled the idea, knowing the rain would worsen. Had I stopped then and got the wedge -- the possum would be alive by me, perhaps dead by another -- to ignorant to avoid cars. I got a few shots in the night, later woken and kept awake by the storm and other issues. A nagging -- a displeasure with accidental killing. I fitfully slept.

Tonight, fewer critters on the road. High jumping toads crossing the road -- welcoming their deaths by leaping high, not far. They were and are summer fodder -- living only a short while, some species longer than others, most dying before mating. And no for a really nasty segue, mating before dying talk shows.

Paternity testing on controversy shows ... "He's the father" where a line of men are tested and found to not be the father. I can't decided which is sicker, the guys sitting elbow to elbow okay with having sex with a loose cannon -- they, themselves complacent biomes of viruses or the female who can't narrow the partner down to a list shorter than five. Some people should not be capable of procreating. That is a sick, sick, sick, scenario.

knack

Lori has a knack of calling me when I can't make it to the phone, restroom, or I'm elbow deep in something, paint, blood, dirt, or something. Today was no exception. She called to tell me that she, Charlie, and I weren't making it to the movie either Ice Age 2 Meltdown ("Food Glorious Food") or Garfield "Tale of Two Kitties".

Meanwhile back at the homestead, Monkeyjack had plans for me to help him set out a boku supply of garage sale hopeful items -- millions, as he described it. Mainly, I was to help him move a sleeper sofa. If you have never moved one -- you are in for a a treat. I have NEVER known one to be comfortable on which to sleep, moving them is no picnic either.

That didn't transpire, so since weather held rain, rain, rain -- good for crops, bad for moving, I met up with MR and watched a little DS9, followed by police video while playing mission pissyouoff catchphrase II. For some of the phrases, they might as well have used Shawn Cassidy for what good they were. If you don't know that one, some of the others you wouldn't know or have a clue as to how to get them to say, "babbadooba" from Eddie Murphy's Delirious.

If you have the "knack" you can do 80% to 30% or likely somewhere in between.

Al-Zawahri calls for death to Muslims

"It is a jihad (holy war) for the sake of God and will last until (our) religion prevails ... from Spain to Iraq," al-Zawahri said. "We will attack everywhere." Spain was controlled by Arab Muslims for more than seven centuries until they were driven from power in 1492.

 

If you call out an all out war until "your" religion prevails, I'd say you are asking to be killed.  If Muslims respond to this with cheers instead of jeers ... it will be open season on Muslims, I'm afraid.  What a stupid, and I mean stupid incitement to murder.  Does this doofus understand that he's contracting the murder of Muslims by doing this?

 

I hope that fellow Muslims throw out this wicked fool in favor of someone less -- warprone.

Laws that should be, but aren't

Upon filing temporary insanity pleas, attorney filing motion should then either house and feed the client or become cellmates with that person until the beginning of the trial. I think that should then put a GREAT limit on the number of temporary insanity pleas. Also, those attorneys protecting child molesters should therefore be required to have the client be the primary caregiver to their children (or family children ... step, grand, cousin, neice, nephew or the like). If the lawyer says no -- too bad. That is the price for protecting those whom you suspect are guilty. I think then, those in the city office defense team will have a backlog of sickening persons to defend, therefore kept off the street until their court date.*1
I don't dislike lawyers, I dislike many whom I have experienced. Certainly, since the general feeling for lawyers is low, I'm not the only one. My divorce lawyer was as effective as Steak & Shake at filing and getting the job done. The "steakburger" didn't disguise the general lack of interest and 50's atmosphere, as though divorces weren't that common. It was, therefore, a (insert word here) burger, no matter the wording.
I haven't had the horror of a loved one torn apart in life, then in the courtroom by a lawyer defending the guilty. I don't know which one I would hate greater -- the criminal or the criminal in the suit.

* exceptions would be made for appointed attorneys, as saly, that is there job. Personally, I find the public in general in apathy to crime because it doesn't happen to enough people to really affect them*2

*2 valid crime statistics would show rise in crime, including violent crime (which includes rape)

la politiciens folles

Well Hello Dummy [continue chorus]!
I am (law) Bender, pleaes insert lobbyist-padding. With wiretaps and "unethical" congressional raiding, "How dare you raid my home after accepting bribes", it will be interesting, perhaps, this fall with election 2006, leading to hullabaloo 2007 for 2008.

In reflecting on my political angst, I know that MR and I are different in many different ways. If we were on a FOX network -- "if only" MR might remark, the FOX team would sit behind MR jotting notes while he tried to push on my idiogenic*1 apathy. Certainly MR keeps up on politics more than I, leaving me more like his perspective on 'dumocrats' who bitch without thinking or (in his thinking) without reason. Whether justified or spiteful obstructions, those feeling disempowered will always let you know it.

On the subject of criminal justice, however, we concure almost perfectly.

On persons, which I favor over any groups or parties, some tend to seek their ability to act out the part or be good democrats or good republicans, that is following an agenda for that sect. To me, that's like being a good Baptist or good company man. I'd much rather have a good surgeon, a good doctor than a good "medicine man". I am interested, sadly ill and poorly informed on the actions of persons on all bills. Even the bills and laws themselves are so lengthy that the average person would favor a two sentence synopsis of it, rather than a better abstract be it six or twelve paragraphs long.
In voting for persons, there are offices for which I don't always vote. The job, government obviously, but doesn't pay exceedingly well. How much do I know about the job, let alone the persons who don't have the cash to wage political war for a $20K job?
Opportunites arise in voting to answer questions to "assist" lawmakers. Too often voters believe that in answering these five questions ("three questions, sir"), that they are actually passing that law. I would like, however, for a greater interest in input by the general populace. Granted, most can't write, let alone type, but beyond that, legislators ("mount up") should be interested in the goals of their so-called constituants. In this repbulic (not direct democray -- impractical for millions), the governing body acting independant leads directly to corruption.
Be it real or perceived by many, working irrespective of those governed puts a gulf so wide between the governed and those who govern that languages and cultures are different.
In defense of the government, some populations are, well, stupid. Communicating with them would be difficult. Say, like the idiots who wouldn't flee New Orleans or those Florida dead who "ride out another one no greater than the one before", who can't be that bright. Writing about Florida, Dade County, how many voters does it take to understnad a voting machine? Also ... if you have a fill-in-the-blank card anywhere, voting won't take place. Would I want suggestions from people who don't read English who have lived here for thirty years? Would I want suggestions from people who can't push buttons? Hmmm to that, I'd have to say no.

End run of criping, I think that an analysis or background check for each person running should be mandatory. If the person has a felony -- no guns allowed and MAY NEVER RUN FOR OFFICE. If the person has 2 misdemeanors, other than traffic offenses, that person MAY NEVER RUN FOR OFFICE. Upon violation of this, the person is immediately taken into custody, those responsible for hidden those facts also taken into custody, all priviledges, salaries be retroactively stripped. I wouldn't elect a bank robber and I shouldn't have a felon (of any kind) or convict on the ballot.

To this last degree, I think MR and I will ... well, not mesh ideas.

*1 of unknown origin

Remaking Ishtar

M. Night Shyamalan might as well give it a shot. It's not like his movies are, uh, action packed. Ishtar was remarked as the poorest return movie until brilliant Kevin Costner put together the play dough Waterworld. I think, since Shyamalan likes long winded movies -- putting Charles Darwin and Stephen King to shame. If you haven't read Origin of the Species, it makes War and Peace as quick as the "TV Guide".

Please have an assistant director in on the next movie to make it, uh ... interesting for the viewer. I'm writing off M. Night like I have Ang Lee and Martin Lawrence as I did --early, but not prematurely on the Coreys (Felman and Haim) while others sadly punished themselves by watching them.

I won't ask myself, "what's this movie about", but rather, "what other movies are coming" when seeing another Shymalan preview.

I won't see Hollywoods McDonaldland attempts at movies like: Roadhouse 2, Miami Vice, Santa Clause 3, Sisterhood of the Traveling Willburys (oh, sorry, pants), Clerks II, Jackass 2, Batman (version anything -- that cannot be made -- it just can't).

Father fighter

My father, with whom I have battled minorly for so many decades, wins one with me. During my teens years, it was a nasty bit between my father and I. How the folks liked me, I don't know. I wasn't likable and really -- if I weren't family, I wouldn't have been loved. Anyway ...

My father has had several bouts with cancer. It is highly likely that he still has it. Though sore and sometime lethargic, he battles on. He buys thousands of dollars worth of medicine and vitamins in a measure to stick around. He is a fighter. For this, I am proud of him. He hasn't lied down and died, but fought. He fights less for himself and more for others. He's going to stick around as long as he can, though believing that he'll not make another 10 years. I hope that he's wrong.

Indiana empowering

“Congratulations to Floyd Landis, young man from Pennsylvania, for winning the Tour de France. Floyd came back from being eight minutes behind. Despite that he needs hip replacement surgery. He still won. Here’s my question, can the French even ride a bicycle anymore? We sent a guy who had cancer and he won seven times. We sent a guy who needs a new hip he won this time. Why are we making this trip anymore? We should call this thing the “Tour de Indiana.” Make them come over here.”

from Jay Leno

 ...

 

mosquito ghost

mosquito ghost
Originally uploaded by MDH, II.

I show this as evidence that I actually do kill some insects. I tend not to kill many, but blood-sucking mosquitoes are fair game as are roaches -- for they breed far too quickly. I believe that flame is most effective for it terminates eggs if there are any. I understand that, very rarely there have been some eggs transported via shoe to a home. The homeowner stepped on a roach and carried the eggs -- still viable, to another place, his home, there they were etched off his shoe into the carpet. The eggs hatched and roaches where they weren't before. They also had less competition. This supposedly transformed into near infestation.

So FYI, maybe, just maybe, you shouldn't step on roaches unless you can sterilze your feet or walk a thousand feet through course material -- gravel or the like.

Mosquitoes are easy to kill, but impossible to kill them all. If you've ever been camping, you know that no matter how much screening you have, they enter the tent and find you or parts. I never remember to deafen myself by spraying my ear, so that is a good target as is my nose. If all else false, lips are blood rich.

cityscape from the park

cityscape from the park
Originally uploaded by MDH, II.

The last thing that went through my mind, other than the bullet, was, "how did I get way over here?" The buildings they're moun--no ... they're scarce. I suppose that's an advantage to a smaller city, limited skyline of buildings, but greener -- for the moment. What would really offset this would be terrain, sadly lacking in Indiana.

Southern Indiana has caverns and old protected forests and some hills. Up nort', no such things.

The comedy of the city is that the police station sits right next to a crime-heavy residential area, the level of crime has changed little since the cops have moved there. It isn't without virtue.

There are new, better buildings being built and has a nationally renowned geneology department in the library, which is due to reopen in 2007. I want to check into my roots, but that'll have to wait til next season.

As I lie dead, on the grassy plain near the river, cicada deafen the air with their haunting calls. Flies buzz around feeding and ants find a large--fat, cache of food before them. There isn't a mosquito around, despite the body of me and the body of water nearby.

I was born here, I'll probably die here -- convenient, you know.

Tony J. -- whomever he is, helped. Thanks!

I went to http://www.resumesecrets.blogspot.com/ and found some interesting hints and tips to remake my resume' again.  As it's as weekly as church-for-some, it won't knock me out to pull apart the lego resume' and build again.

 

Thanks Tony J !

Speed Channel entices viewers with old '80s T & A movies

Monday night/evening, Speed played Used Cars. Now, really it was a comedy, but it had a lot of nudity in it to really capitvate the male audience, which it did. If they didn't have some of the nudity, in the movie ad compaigns, the movie would have had runner-up slapstick making it a worse movie. I just found it funny that S P E E D would play used cars that had cars in it. There was no real race or sports. I could see the strange tangents to sports being: end of movie where recent teen drivers are asked to race like hell across the desert without a road to the car lot. There was a sporting event -- football, where there was an ad compaign, but it wasn't a racing movie.

I stop here to digress on a few of notable people: David Lander, who found more challenging roles after LaVern & Shirley difficult to obtain yet still as funny paired with partner from the same, Michael McKean. The star of the movie is Kurt Russell, who did some Disney movies then off to R movies like (not listed in chronological order) Thing, Escape From New York, Soldier, Used Cars, and then back to Disney with Sky High. Apparently Overboard, with wife Goldie Hawn redeemed him. I think few stars go nasty and get to return to Disney.

Hey, SP-E==E===D channel has explosions, female nudity, profain comedy!

long ago suggestion

You should do bartending.
Really?
Yeah. I mean, you like to mix drinks. You'd do okay with that.
Yeah, I can imagine mixing drinks all night, then teaching in the day. I wonder how many parents I'd meet that I didn't know.

Hey, Randy! Your dad's tab is running high, when you go home tonight, tell him to stop by and make a payment.
Elizabeth, your mom's, uh ... stuff is behind the bar. She can pick them up any time (stripped clothes).

Hey, at night I got deal with every schmuck's problem, don't bring me yours kid!

Based loosely on alcohol

I spent a lifetime drinking, now it has come full circle.
"Look. The advice I give you is never take a drink from [my name]. If he offers you a drink, don't drink it." -- Monkeyjack.

Look, it's not as if I burnt anyone ... oops, I can't accurately say that. It's not as if anyone got hurt ... oops, can't say that. Look, not every one of my drinks was bad. I just liked "gasoline"+ for beverage and everyone else wanted something that didn't cause auto-response of gagging and puking. Geez!

Contrary to this comic, I didn't force anyone to drink.

+ Top Secret

more on resume'

Admittedly the first one, months ago, that I posted sucked bovine navel lint, but this one is better.  I overpaid for resume' service that left huge gaps in my work, but gave me a direction.  I think I got the impression that it was bad when the resume' paramedic came over and started punching it in the chest.

 

"Hey!  Has it gone into cardiac arrest?  Are you trying to get it's heart to beat again?"

"Heck no!  I'm just beating the snot out this ugly piece of crap!"

"Oh."

 

So I have no a policy of redoing and republishing my resume' at least once a week for better job fishing.  I don't expect a 'lunker' bass or walleye or muskie, but a perch or small mouth bass might not be bad.  I can't believe that places advertise for $25K jobs that entail more work than a nurse can complete or equal travel as a trucker.  Outrageous!  I wonder why they have this job posted for 90 ninety days with no fills.

Renaturalizing language

Thanks J.C. Duffy, creator of Fusco Brothers for demonstrating the real use of the word, "crib". Let us hope that the urbanlect that's growing too common in the language becomes as obsolete as "thy, thee, thine", et. al.

Madcap, like me

This isn't 100% funny, but it is a wacky take on a song most people know, Baby Got Back.

Fishing

There was a resume' that I posted, but it didn't help me get any fish.  I got only a couple of bites.  So, what do I do now?  I re-baited.  I worked on my resume' again, and though similar, it's different and doesn't yet smell fishy.

Uploading it to Monster was stupid.  Fill out duplicate forms each and every time.  What a complete waste of my time as well as having to "No Thanks" at sign in and each time I change anything.  I don't want to join the military, National Guard, get mortgage quotes or take classes from Phoenix Arizona.  For all the advertising I endure, I have gotten squat.  There are jobs in Utah it shows me, though I selected quite different states.

 

Anyway, I had an email address for ten some years or more and I must now rely on my learning skills to remember my less flamboyant email address that is more common and relevant to who I am.  The other one -- vocationally-based, is no longer important as I have changed vocations.  Though never working in food industry, it was like a change from burgerfryer @ isp.com to iamsomebodyspecial @ commonisp.org.  I don't like parades, but here I am the whistle-blowing beater; directly involved in the masquarade.  It's not a total sham, but it is a shame.  It's putting on duck feathers, goose down, stork legs, painted in flamingo pink, with a pelican beak and throat, singing the songs of fifty species of song birds.  I'm real -- better than any soft goose, unconventional flamingo, conforming duck, taller than the others, more talented than fifty others.  No one is in my calibur and I am peerless.  Sadly, that's what HR wants to read and hear.  It can't be true.  Its the story of the Fishman and His Wife.  The moral:  all greed brings you to ruin.  In a sense, my resume' is an infommercial, full of half-facts, hackneyed demonstrations and glorified garage sale pieces.  I capable, but with a million others, I cannot stand out.  If I spend a thousand dollars on resume' helpers or head hunters, would I get a $25K or $55K job?  I suspect they wouldn't care after they got their money.

 

I'd have to say, this business stinks!

Kitty show

And now, a moment of silence

Be-claws, in the midnight, she cries meow, meow, meow ... with a rebel yell she yells meow, meow, meow ---

Can you hear me meow? Good.

Chew on the red stuff, that's the best part. (Think Thumper from Bambi)

I have such yarns to spin you.

buzzwords

Additions, conditions, omissions, it's your resume'.  A fancy term for journalistic fabrication for vocational perpetuity; transitional financial staging.

 

I see here a note for eager egris due to bastardious embossing post managerial emmaculation.

 

That's right!  I quickly got out of there from that subjegating bastard.

first rejection notice

I applied for the marauder/adventurer, which is really pirate, but that is a foul term now.  The company was looking for someone with more experience.  Look, I can pillage, I can loot!  I'm ready!  "Ben, tell him I'm ..." +

 

I tried to detail my experience in ransacking villages, grabbing hoards of treasure .. it was not to be.  I had the sinister nature down, the scowl, the "arrgh", but no job.

 

+ Star Wars, Empire Strikes Back

Indiana old west

Sniper (s) on Indiana highways.  What the heck is going on here?  That's Pennsylvania and D.C. crime.  What's it doing here?  Well, the good and the bad:

good news: there have been few injured, one killed

the bad:  no one has seen the punk; there are many huntin' rifles in IN because of the bumper crop of deer here every year

the good news:  IN drivers are so erratic, that shooting a deer is easier

the bad:  chances are that the person will not likely be caught for a while

the good news:  you can now explain away why you were speeding and dodging traffic

 

I suspect that once nearly aprehended, he will kill himself.  In my mind, too little, too late.

so there was a reason

I found that having an contact email address of: eatmyshorts at isp.org wasn't getting me any calls or emails. I should have thought of that.

What I didn't want

I posted my resume on several different jobsearch engines and what I got first was "we received you resume'", next "We noticed you posted your resume' ..."

A sales ad?  What a crock of dung!  I didn't post it so you could spam me or sell me an improved resume' that, $200 later doesn't get me a job any faster or easier.  Screw off!  I wonder also if the jobsearch engines don't make that available anyway.

 

What a bunch of jokers!

Speaking in Evil tongues

Wrath of ... my word! I can't believe they really made these statements. Okay, FOX -- you definitely win this one! Fox or whomever for putting this on video. Also, thanks for the person taping this and putting it on the internet.

Later on in the video, it details the woman speaking is the spokesperson for a family, whose views are Satanic in contrast/comparison to the Baptist sect to which they are members. Yikes. While not the norm, the signs are too tragic.

Sadly, FOX therefore gets a -- Jerry Springer award for this one. If this were, say, branch davidians+, I'd say -- way to go, but not a media-hungry family or individual. For shame.

+intentionally left lowercase

flickr theif strikes again

Borrowing from Comcast's advertisement: "Are your ads getting to the right people?"
Pretty white women, dressed in white calling to Israel for peace. Am I missing the boat here or isn't Hezbollah the threat, seconded by Hamas, tertiary Iran, fascilitated by Jordan, Syria, and smaller Arafat-Palastinians? So ... these ladies here are calling to English speaking Israel, "Yes to Peace, no to terror." I applaud the effort, the idea needs a re-work. "Our hearts are with you" is a reasonable message.

Eating cancer

Eat, develop cancer, die

While this isn't the stuff, it is similar. MR and I, as well as millions of munchers loved to eat heatable canned cheese and Doritos. I remember especially enjoying nacho cheese on Nacho Cheese flavor Doritos, "for that overwhelming nacho taste" as MR had used. MR suspected that it was as cancer-causing as asbestos and smoking. Yet, here, reformulated it returns. Sad to say the picture is blurry, but perhaps it's the Ring followed by a phone call, "Seven days." [click]

Mess

0723061620.jpg
Originally uploaded by Keith Cramer.

Used to spot terminators. I said terminators, not toilet tissue.

Oh, man! Give us a break! We can't spell; we're dogs.

Thanks Monkeyjack for material -- ha ha, another, right there!
You want another one?
Yeah. [image of bears in woods]
There! I got you for the rest of your natural life.
Giving 'devil' sign of 666 with hand.

Criminal habit

Dutch Nuns on Bikes Chase Suspected Thief

9:28 AM PST - Monday, July 24, 2006
AP Staff

(AP) Dutch Nuns on Bikes Chase Suspected Thief

AMSTERDAM, Netherlands
Two Dutch nuns, wearing habits and riding bikes, chased a suspected thief through Amsterdam, police said Monday.

On Saturday evening, one of the sisters believed she recognized a man walking past their chapel in southern Amsterdam as a thief who snatched hundreds of dollars in cash from the building two weeks earlier, Amsterdam police spokesman Rob van der Veen said.

She invited him inside for a drink and asked a fellow nun to alert police.

The man, apparently suspecting what was happening, fled the building and snatched a bicycle from a passer-by.

"The nuns then grabbed their bikes and gave chase. They tried to grab him, but he managed to escape into a residential neighborhood and they lost him," Van der Veen said. Police hunted for the man in the neighborhood but could not find him.

From someone else's collection

Chicago
Originally uploaded by ekalb.

My sister and niece actually got a picture of this, but here ... I'll joke about it.

"Yes, but what is it?"
"It's an egg!"
"An egg?"

"Yeah, you know ... an egg! You see I won that. It's a national award."
"Hell; you say you won that?"

Perhaps it a job security peice for glass cleaners as the pigeons probably drop by often.

New Ang Lee movie

It's All Greek to Me
It's a story about Rosencrantz and Guildenstern whose lives interrupted when they assigned to take Hamlet to be beheaded. Well, the homosexual comedy really gets going when the execution order is fouled up and Hamlet is to be headed and the story goes on ...

I think some directors should burn in Hell this time, not having to wait for the afterlife/afterdeath. If there's an opening, a good boxer takes a swing. That's what I'm doing here. Next up is Kevin Costner -- whose movies need no introduction (they all blow chunks -- out the nose).

DS9 series

DS9 series
Originally uploaded by MDH, II.

Doc, doc! You're telling me, you built a Star Trek series out of a space station. That's right Marty! I decided, if you're going to do it ... do it where they stay a while.

Okay, so the series isn't perfect, but ... it is better than the next generation, for the several episodes I saw of that. I didn't and couldn't watch Voyager, as it always gave me Deja Vu during and after. It was too strange to watch it.

The series -- with many subplots and an overall plot, which I think the many writers decided ought to be included, is okay. If you remember the original series -- no plot to the series, other than go here, get into and out of trouble with science fiction and the occasional political message.

Ground Zero

The Prisoner of the Sacricy and his wife went to New York City, where Cerpicio's wife lived for a while. While there he mentioned visiting ground zero and that the city is worth a trip for anyone and that, by implication, visitors should see ground zero.

I would also like to invite Hezbollah, Hamas and the Iranian military to ground zero, located in scenic Syria. Some might note that there is no ground zero in Syria. Oh, but wait. Just get all of those hate-lovin' folks together -- smack dab in Syria and I think they'll find that there will be much obliging persons making that celebrated ground zero. I think you know what I mean. In the end, Martyrs can't be choosers, otherwise it wouldn't work.

Reading a book online

How would you like to read 700 short and detailed jobs listings. Does this sound right for you? Then you must be a job hunter, like me. Join me in saluting those responsible for writing incomplete ads on "possible" and "potential" values and salaries. Please also applaud those who offer <$30K, requiring 5+ years of expeience with travel and relocation very likely.

One of the worst offers was for $23,600 annual working including nights, weekends, holidays and very likely relocation. What a rip off.

Anyway, I sent out some resumes after hours of tedious reading finding grammatical errors in job postings and listings. I am spent!

more stuff with job searches -- laughable ads

PCA – Church Division "Making Memories for Tomorrow"

Regional Account Director

Base Pay: $34,000 - $50,000/Year

base/commission for 16 weeks then draw/commission + quar/ann bon

Full-Time Employee

Art - Photography – Journalism, Sales - Marketing

Req'd Education: High School

Req'd Experience: At Least 1 Year

Req'd Travel: Up to 25%

Job Description

You've heard about the proverbial career ladder of success? Well here's where you get on! PCA International, Inc. offers significant opportunities for growth and career advancement. The work environment is stimulating, challenging, and fun. You'll be working for a Company in which each Associate's contribution is clearly valued, recognized, and rewarded as well as working with an innovative, dynamic Team eager to help you develop and expand your skills.

PCA International, Inc. is looking for experienced outside sales professionals to call on new and existing clients for our Church directory/photography business.

Qualifications:

Ranks within the top 10% of current sales force. Has a proven track record of at least 2 years in outside sales exceeding quotas and market share goals.

Has excellent organizational skills.

Makes articulate, effective presentations to a variety of audiences.

Ability to develop rapport with clients and maintain strong working relationships.

Self-motivated. Thrives on doing a job well. Has the independence, initiative, and desire to achieve.

Available to work after hours and weekends, as required.

Demonstrates strong work ethic. Uses time productively to accomplish challenging work goals.

Sets clear goals and pursues them until desired results are achieved.

Manages time effectively and prioritizes, completing tasks to meet deadlines.

Presents key selling points, features, and benefits while focusing message on customer needs and expectations.

Presents a professional, positive image that reflects well on the organization.

High School Diploma or GED.

BENEFITS
Our Benefits will put a smile on your face! We are pleased to offer an excellent benefits package to ensure the well being of our associates and their families. These benefits are offered at a reasonable and competitive cost.
Immediately available to both Full Time and Part Time Associates!!

Option to enroll into a Medical plan, with additional options for Dental

Direct Deposit

Enhanced Benefits are offered to Associates after completing 6 months of continuous employment:

A Consumer Driven Health Plan (CDHP) which is an innovative health plan that offers tools to assist you with achieving a healthier lifestyle while providing 100% preventive wellness care for children and adults when discount physicians are used, and provides coverage for doctor, hospital and prescription needs

Medical & Dependent Care "Flexible Spending Accounts"

Dental Coverage

Life and Accidental Insurance - at no cost to you!

Optional Life Insurance for the Associate, Spouse and Children at very reasonable group rates

Employee Assistance Program (EAP)

Paid Holidays, Vacation and Sick days

401(k) Retirement Savings Plan<

Service Award Recognition Program
And it keeps getting better! After completion of 1 year of continuous full time employment:

Short and Long Term Disability Insurance - at no cost to you!

Annual complimentary portrait package
(Benefits may vary in the US and Canada and are subject to change without notice at any time)

.....

--- CDHP means that your health is in for a scary trip. The pay is inconsistent with the cost to do the job. A church-division of photography studio or photography division of church, either way -- scary

Picture worth a lot of critique

I have blocked out their faces for good reason. What you can't see is that the "man" on the right is really joyful about the superman toy and the girl to the left was, not so excited, but happy. I am left with the picture on the box of a too-happy superman, fill in any words you need. The girl here is only twice its height, therefore quite young. I wonder though, what is that thing in her hand? It's not a Mr. Microphone nor for karaoke can it be?

What could make this more disturbing, oh, I know ... the boxer shorts at the top. This was on a picture website, not marked as much of anything. I randomly found it and indeed found it. I found it disturbing on a number of levels. God help this child, and maybe put in something for the guy there too.

drowning in the insignificant

"They only tell ... only tell what they wanna"

I definitely know some things or do I? What I can read is cold filtered for my reading pleasure. What I can see on TV is warm pasteurized for security. What do or can I know? I can't know much and I read lots. The media today reminds me much of the women's magazines -- well scoffed for their lack of content despite volumous girth and weight. A $4 magazine contained less info than a doctor's pamphlet, yet cost $4 for an encyclopedia of ads and "free samples" of odiferous perfumes -- smelling of gumshoe tartar.

I could read on a fourth generation (4th-person) story on something in the middle East. This is a story where the names have been changed because otherwise the stories wouldn't sell. Also -- the "extraneous" has been removed and the more difficult concepts have been switched to a Matel (R) box cover. When you read it, it's generally as ambiguous as it is rampant with inuendos and contrived agenda relationships.

Without these, I would never know that Bush is to blame for Bolivian cotton price rises and that Al Gore once bought a fuel inefficient car for a friend who sold it to a brother who sold it to a cousin of a former roomate, who then did something questionable. I like to claim that I don't watch soap operas, but I do. I watch them everytime I turn on the news. "You know the boys in the newsroom have got a running bet"

It the pagentry and idol worship of glitz TV. Every newscaster, decorated in garb for the affair. The news begins and it is why this bit jibes well with the correct side. I'll even have thirteen people on this news channel agree with me and tell you why -- there, you have the news. You can't argue with us, you just heard thirteen people side with me.

Uh, if the emperor is nude, he's nude, no matter how the collective or mob perceive it or believe that he's clothed. More often I am blindsided with images that seem authentic, seem complete until you listen. There are too many generalities there. If you hear 80% opinion with 20% fact, that isn't right.

You see, we have here three words of a ten page report. Now, what these words mean are ... and that makes us right and the first to show it to you. Real News, Real Fast, Fair and Balanced. If you have to say it, people can't tell by looking. Great and good things tend not to need labels. If you have to say what it is, then it isn't.

Real News: in ten second spots, repeated every half-hour.
Real Fast: nice grammar; apart from the speed of the statements, the commercials are long and the tail ends of the news (CNN a.m.) have "community link" and "Suzanne" with statements for the AARP
Fair and Balanced: hmmm, don't think so. Name ten non-Republicans who watch FOX News. Why? FOX News is a conservative Republican soundboard, much like CNN (Turner fool television) is Democratic liberalism.
Fox News is more likely to bring on a group of yessirs and andhows to verify their statments.

I would like some news in edgewise, between the rally to the left, rally to the right, do the news political hokey pokey every single night. In the end, do I feel informed? If I watch CNN, I get long speeches against Bush. If I listen to FOX news, I get long winded speeches supporting Bush. What if Bush has little to do with it and I want just the news -- the facts, not how it relates to the 2008 election? I'm stuck, I can't get no ... news satsifaction.

Hamas US invasion scenarios [wargaming]

Hamas successfully lands in LA, California and tries to take over city: overly protected with guns, citizens repel and conquer invaders within 30 minutes

Hamas successfully lands in NY city, NY: while mixing better in the area, are quickly robbed of their weapons, including strapped C-4 vests and are left in various parts of the city, lost and naked.

Hamas successfully lands in Texas: They are uncharacteristically comfortable, but upon crossing someone's yard and slain together by unhappy neighbors

Hamas successfully lands in Kentucky: They are as foreign as E.T. and are subdued and introduced as the other dark meat at a few restaurants while the supplies last

Hamas successfully lands in Kansas: A decade later, they find their way out, but are intermarried withe the locals and have since renounced their attack on America

Hamas successfully lands in Utah and find that polygamy is accepted and finding a much better, easier life, settle and never leave.

Hamas successfully lands in Las Vegas, Nevada and after selling their weapons for cash, gamble away -- some winning millions, others selling organs for that one big win. In the end, they forget why they came, having not seen the "real sun" in 96 days.

Hamas successfully lands in in Indiana: after fighting and blowing up buildings, damage is assessed and there weren't many buildings away. The neo-Nazis hunt them, while the Klan stupidly thinks the white garb is in need of ironing and fixes them. The Hamas find themselves running in circles.

Hamas successfully lands in Chicago, IL: the are stuck at O'Hare for so long, they wind up blowing themselves up on the tarmac waiting to get out

unanimous adoption

US and Israel alike wholeheartedly adopt triggerless guns. After years of arguing about ethical use of triggerless guns, US companies have created and released new triggerless guns for military.
"It was in constant conflict that I found the true need for such a weapon. I asked several military personnel their opinions on this. Generally I got a positive feedback", said Malcom Durtch.

"The only time I stopped firing was when I was reloading. It was madness really. I would lay down supressing fire for as long as I could, making a daisy chain with others along a ridge, where one team would peter out, needing to reload, my partner and I would start firing before they would exhaust their load. The next team would do the same and so on. All of our fingers were tired and I actually have a repetitive motion injury to my hand. I'm not alone." -- PVC Redman

"This is great! I'm standing patrol or walking patrol every day. Not a day goes by without some guy popping out of nowhere, shooting up my station. I return fire in short bolts, but that never works. I begin firing a straight line and the guy gets scared out of his mind. He turns runs, and I tag him. Most of the time I find various explosives on him. Sometimes, they just blow themselves up right there. If I were to shoot once and wait, I'd either be dead or there would be more of them coming behind him. With this new triggerless gun, it's bam! There's no waiting. We're gonna get more of these the dike will be fixed. There won't be this trickling of Syrians or Jordanians here." -- border patrolman

New triggerless guns. Sometimes there's no point in not firing. This is the gun for those points. When your gain is measured in putting down the enemy, these guns are your newest and best defense.

What is a quiet evening and night?

I wouldn't know. The Bumpis families still have fireworks! 5 minutes here, 30 minutes there. You'd think they would all pal around together for one -- just one night, but no. They either try to one up each other or are just buying fireworks with their groceries. Please, and for the sake of all that is rational, stop firing the ****ing fireworks for a month. You have to about be out of firework money or excitement with them right?

I've got a great way for you to experience them -- cram them up your backside and fire away! If Indiana wants to repeal it's decission, this is an example of ammunition that proponents could use. I think the tax dollars being acquired here and spent here makes more sense than neighboring states, but gracious.

I am tired of the asses with fuses! I have grown used to the train, though I hear it often, as I am a light sleeper -- training, not of my own. Have you had a spouse or lover who wakes you when they hear a spider spin web, I have. I found that sleeping soundly so that dust mites walking doesn't bug me, was wasted on bed mates who would hear the same. Through angered waking repeatedly, I now rest fitfully and lightly. I suppose that I could hear someone robbing me blind then -- alright!

Anyway ... during the typing of the post, more fireworks. I wonder if the term works in fireworks is related to the fact that those firing them seem not to work day shifts (if at all). They work so the humans don't have to work.

Sent to bed without any supper

or something like that

He killed them because he didn't get his way. Hmm ... I suggest execution, promptly, because he wasn't forthcoming with evidence against himself. Seriously, I would like him to be promptly executed, having gotten away with his crimes and truly, killing family -- he killed witnesses. I can't believe the defense was criping about lack of fingerprint use in court. Uh ... didn't he live at the address where the killings took place? Would his prints already be there?

Schmucks!

Thanks MR for finding this. Also -- MR must have been searching for something else, as CNN is not his source of news -- generally.

Getting slayed tonight! He missed bowling and dinner and a trip to an amusement park. Well, you can see why he had to kill, right?

naughty squirrel

naughty squirrel
Originally uploaded by MDH, II.

This squirrel is doing exactly what it's supposed to do -- feed itself and stay live, but, I'm not trying to feed the squirrels. Little bugger likely jumped up from the ground, but I don't know. The black cylinder is supposed to prevent this, but as you can see, it did nothing to stop the "pest". They are getting used to me though, staying with 4' of me. Why not, I feed the birds and they eat the bird seed. Why should they fear me.

Man!

Place so neat -- I have to go there

Playing and Learning are married; shown here in Rochester, NY.

Clinton Gates

Bill Gates, Bill Cliton -- money to medical research and affordability. Not zippergate, not watergate, not white water ... Clinton Gates

You'll laugh; you'll cry; you'll kiss your bucks goodbye. I'll just call the foundation to ask some questions:
Your call is important to us. Calls are being answered in the order they were received. Our highly trained Indian reporters will assist you momentarily. Please wait ...

9 hours and many advertisements for My Life later ...

Your call is being transferred [click]

[no noise]

Why CNN

I was looking for a story on a police chase in Texas, running on CNN Headline News, where a robbery suspect eluded police for 90 minutes, culminating in his splashing in a shallow creek ravine. There was a stand off with the armed suspect and when I returned from dinner, CNN didn't have squat on it. How in the world could that be?

The story, it seems, was still going ... negoiations or whatever. I say fire!

You pay too many fees with eBay

They are charging you fees so that they can advertise, not only above your news search, but also for crap they don't sell. This is "police chase", but others have proven this with search terms such as "prostitutes", "slaves", "marijuanna", etc.

eBay, you charge too much, because you have too much money to be in places you don't need to be. So I guess I'll look for "rip off". You didn't disappointment me.

My car's new name

I shall call you Dentine, much like the gum, looking chewed, wrinkled, glossy in some areas, yet cute in a bizarre way.  I would call it Sr Dent.

 

Hey!  Someboy punk'd and junk'd my car!  Oh, that would be me.  Monkeyjack has new dents.  I have no new dents, not that you'd notice if there were any.

Pain in the boob

Thanks Dave for the artwork! My sister came up with a term, "Boob that took over [some large city]". She's had some pain and I thought, since Dave did a great job on the Toilet Movie poster, that, if given time, he could put together a movie poster about large insidious boob that "attacks" large metropolis.

donkey fallen

donkey fallen
Originally uploaded by MDH, II.

Help, I've fallen, and I can't get up. Also, this dog keeps chewing on me. Hey, is that Shrek just ahead of me, nope. Hey! Oh, no! I'm a chew toy!

Now to bitch about me

I had some sugar today, but my body has processed it like I was at a Hershey factor. I'm a little jittery and can't stop scratching my scalp and arms. Wicked allergy ... what gives? I actually had less sugar today than I did yesterday. Am I diabetic or just allergic to sugar in combination with other substances. I haven't narrowed it down yet. Yikes and I a mess. I am, however experiencing a lull in the symptoms. It's a nasty coaster ride. Who's to blame for this one? I am to blame.

Go-----o----o-----o figure

Go figure this, go figure that. I'm go figure now, cause your head's gotten fat. I don't wanna go 'round saying, "Yo! I be go figure." Cursin' up and down with your finger on the trigger...
oops, that's not 'go figure'. "Chuck D., where are you?"

Public Enemy number one. Public Enemy number one.

Bass in your face, not an eight-track ...

Go on, g-g-g-g-et get down, file complaints' a joke in this town+

Turn it up ... bitch some noise!

"Turn it up! No man, I ain't kiddin' ... turn it up. I can't hear it man!"*

+ Thanks Public Enemy! Too Bad Terminator X wasn't a cyborg sent to destroy injustice.
* Dave Chappelle doing new rapper with severely impaired hearing

I feed the birds and, hey! What the?

pigeon spraying
Originally uploaded by MDH, II.

It's raining today, at least that's my story. You may have misunderstood the situation. That was a game that we were playing. You can see the water balloon just exploded and ...
What's the use. Yes, I've been pooped on by a bird. This isn't me, but it has happened, once at an Amusement Park, Cedar Point in Sandusky, Ohio while with friends. Lovely!

To think that I feed the things. I don't feed pigeons, nor Canadian Geese that are as vile as they are large and poopy.

I celebrate today as candid moment day, where you're wrose fears are experienced -- not the scare of the pigeon, but rather explaining yourself in the restaurant you entered for safety.

"I was trying new hair conditioner", getting a Ben Stiler response in There's Something About Mary.

Tribble with cats

7-17-06 upload 006
Originally uploaded by SKBraun.

The nearest I can figure out is that they're born preganant!

I really don't know this person, but saw the picture -- excellent!

Stack the cats over there please.
Is everyone comfortable?
You've got so much communal purring, I thought it was a shiatsu chair.
Cats? What cats? Those are ... uh, throw pillows.

We are Siamese if you please ... we are Siamese if you don't please. So, please, don't bug us ... we're visually conjoined.

More bitching? More bitching.

I take a person aside who asks, "more bweefing?"
"More briefing. Now, you're not gonna pay attention to any more stupid commercials about how good a movie is, right?"
"Wite"

"There's a good movie -- watch it now!"
... later ...
"What season is it; why it's baseball season, my boy!"

Stephen King mini-series, like caffinated air, why would you? King's It. The title had a misprint which was supposed to put parentheticall, "sucks navel lint". Stephen King's the Stand also had an error in that its full title included ... back from the TV.

Who will sing for the new band INtroublewithfinances ... oh, uh, I mean INXS?
So many of those people, understandbly wanting a chance, any chance, end result married SUCK and had a courship with ASS.+

I think if they pulled their heads away from shock television, they'd find that most of those viewers also watch COPS, Jerry Springer, Soap Operas religiously and are contestants and audience members from which*1 they get their polls of Family Feud.
--
Swim in escriment with your mouth open to catch wriggly eels. The person who catches the most goes on to the next round. There can be only one winner and so if you cut your feet to ribbons on a glass walk, swallow a pint or two of unfamiliar and uncategorized fluid, eat two-days rotting beach animal and don't win, you at least have the consolation prize of being on TV. Skip all that! Nickelodeon's Double Dare was better than that! At times, it was darn funny to watch!

+ terribly butchered from Skid Row's 18 and Life
*1 not a typo

Biching again?

Well, no. I never really stop bitching, I just have long pauses and long breaths. I like the fact that my spam folder is less filled every month, but my ISP is running ads on the side. What gives? They charge me monthly and others too, what? That isn't enough income?

Capital One, I got my cards before the viking commercials and before the idiot guardian angel commercials. I open the bill and packed within are third-sheet ads, one attached to the envelop. On the header of my bill ... an ad. On the last page ... Geico Auto Insurance or Progessive, whichever. None of the big names save me money.

Last night, M. Knight Schamalamadingdong's Lady in the Water, flick, undoubtedly going to be 99% shadows, dialogue and long breaks of watching nothing, followed by an Aseop summation or worse still, so that's why you should pitch your garbage after watching a movie. Someone might collect it all and put it on film. The trailer show suspense -- closing on terror, not for timid eyes, for sure. Why should anyone care -- it's on TV when children are watching. What's wosrse?

How about advertising for Hi-C and Kool Aid at 10:45 at night? Who are you reaching? Yeah, I'm at home, watching TV and suddenly, gosh -- I really got get that at the store -- right now! I sleep, wake, forget I ever saw it. Bad, bad, stupid placement.

Mythbusters

I often miss it, but I saw one last night. Steam cannon failures and successes. That bit was very, very funny.

Interestingly, they proved in another episode that: KARI BYRON is a cutie ... oh, wait, that was never a myth, anyway, could you get shocked during an electrical storm using the phone; using a shower, and if a bullet that shoots a man shot in the testis and continues on to a woman, striking her abdominally -- could the sperm impregnate her (based on old medical journal). Interesting ... wacky, at least. Monkeyjack reported to me that at one point in time they featured one of the gurus' houses -- chuck full of mythbusters props and contraptions. I would suspect much like Carrotop's hair or head. It must be scary.

next stop, NASA

imagine what he could do with heat shielding with the right education. Saving humanity from too-warm of beer.

marriage counselor

marriage counselor
Originally uploaded by MDH, II.

I was walking with Charlie, Keith, Echo, Cheyenne when I saw this on a lawn. Marriage counseling a block away, how convenient. More convenient than your local drugstore, settling the bitching arguments right after a good, long, hard-earned fight.
Example: Boy was I pissed! I was walking down the street grumbling to myself, making scars in the sidewalk while I carried "my life" in my suitcase when I saw the sign. That's it! I dropped the case and ran back to my woman and after getting some bruises from dragging her there, I found that I was the problem and that I should, uh ... after the thirteth **ck you, I kinda forgot it, but anyway, I was then able to go back and get more of my stuff while the counselor and my woman had a great conversation about what a rotten SOB I am. Gosh, thanks! I never would have gotten some of this back from her.

example 2: There we were, shouting in the street at each other -- no one to blame, then she saw the sign -- counseling. That's what we need, so we went in and imagine my surprise when we were bitching so long that we didn't see that she wasn't home, nor that she and the couple she was seeing jumped in the car and fled as if bomb-strapped terrorists had wandered onto her porch. We didn't pay a dime.

Hey, guys, just FYI: we're gonna start nuki'

or "Nuke 'em"; get them before they get you.

I actually understand exactly why Israel is attacking, as they are surrounded by groups hostile to them for a long time. If Hezboula is expunged, there is Hamas, then anything group. Iran paying for them is hardly surprising.

Israel named after battling God. Israel also meaning chosen by God after battling the angel. I think the Lebanon be might better named Samson, forever warring, weakened by seduction, allowed strength to fight one last time, killing all, he perishing too.

sniff

Do you remember when you kicked me out of my office on Christmas Eve? Ever since then, my wife left me, took my kids, I lost my car, and I have been BLIND STINKING DRUNK!

I don't like not working. I remember two years ago, I enjoyed sitting around in summer, reading book after book, but not this year. I'd like money and responsibility and income, and mind-stimulating activities.

Butterfly Cake

Cake
Originally uploaded by MDH, II.

What can I say, Lori does great work! I got this with a "hi". Well, then, "Hi Lori". Pick a cake (your cake) I'm glad that she's holding here, as I would have clownishly plowed it into my face or on the floor -- comically not intentional. I wonder to whom this goes?

Since she does this at work and at home ... I see from background it's home. Summer fun -- cousin birthday or perhaps a whenever cake.

A&E documentary sours

I turned to an A&E documentary on a boy who had "anger control problems".  He threatened death to a teacher -- therefore, expelled from junior high school (8th grade).  So, he is at home, stewing.  During the interview the mother came across as, well ... non-too bright.  Hey!  He's got anger control problems and he proudly shows his marks of attack on walls and items.  What else does a angry youth need?  Yep, you guessed it ... guns.  He has a rifle on a mantle and his own shotgun.  That sure makes dealing with anger easy -- kill it.

 

Why did they air this?  Either it was all for show or he on the way to institutionation, aided by his mother.  Why not just have him arrested when he assaults her... nope, that would be smart and safe for society.  It makes for bad watching -- too happy of an ending.

Pee Wee Fishburn

Pee Wee, do you know what the playhouse is? It's the chair "Chairy", it's the lights.
Morpheus (Cowbois): unfortunately no one can be told what the playhouse is, you have to be shown

I know what you're thinking, why didn't I stay on the other channel.

tandem bike

Wow! I haven't seen that in ... oh, my, decades. Thankfully I saw a woman and man, not man-man tandem. You know why they're gay ...

If you haven't ridden a tandem bike, you should know that you go no faster than a regular bike and overall exertion from mistiming and not being in rhythm makes you about 89% as efficient as a solo bike. It's a nice concept ... all the wagons going in the same direction, but poor in application.

I'll buy that for a dollar

Firefox 2 with anti-phishing ... I'll have to get it. Sorry Bill Dance, you've been cashed out!

Give us money, please

I got a notice from the ASUS (Animal Santucary of the United States/WAO (Wild Animal Orphanage).

The notice was, surprise, surprise, was asking for money. Now, it started with "now caring for 350 hurrican Katrina animal orphans". That's nice, probably true. Supposedly they have over 800 animals in their care. They procalimed that the organization meets BBB (Better Business Bureau) standards and that they care for even exotic animals (listing many you might find in zoos as they are not indiginous to the US). All of that isn't a problem. I can even understand the donation request, but ...

if you have homeless domestic animals generally regarded as pets like, dogs, cats, birds, etc. ... it is unreasonable to ask also to take one into your house? They mentioned nothing of adopting the poor critters. They only wanted money. That is why I said, "nay nay"*.

* thanks Jon Pinette

! closing note: having a website doesn't make it legitimate; though, so many references to the pages does lend some credibility

I'm not sure, but I think there's cheating

My girlfriend keeps requesting our songs, Creep by TLC, and Follow Me by Uncle Kracker. I'm not sure, but she might be cheating. I suppose it makes sense that she likes to wear men's boxers -- too wide for her waist. I guess it makes sense that there's that third toothbrush that she exclaims, "don't use that one!"

looking out for friends

"I'm tellin' you, these things sell themselves. A customer comes in looking at an H2 and you don't need to try to sell it; the customer just jumps right in and buys it." -- six months ago.

"That sumbeach has sat there gettin' dusty ever since the [gas] prices went up! Now let me tell you, that thar is a damn fine auto, if you ask me." -- present day

Thanks for the ad MR, but I think that car dealing, unless it's not a gas guzzler, is rough right now. Gas prices coaster makes any car, well, a maybe. Thanks for the thought!

BTW: "these cars sell themselves" is a very obscure quote. An award to someone who figures out the quote. Hints: not from Used Cars

2 jokes care of Jim

Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby. Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked. Heidi pushed and pushed and after a little while, Connor was born. The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry. The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-yr old what she thought about what she had just witnessed. Kathleen quickly responded, "He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place......smack his butt again!"

….

The reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse is that you cannot post "Thou Shalt Not Steal", "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery", and "Thou Shalt Not Lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.

Bitch about Mitch

The Governor has mailings.  I unsubscribed to no avail.  He spams me, or rather his supporters do.  I eventually blocked his address.  Since I saw nothing from the dweeb in a while, I thought -- freedom, but no.  The moment I turned off the block -- the masseages came in like mosquitos.  I fianlly "updated" my account and entered a random aol address.  This seems cruel, but it isn't.  AOL always gives warnings about new addresses, foreign mail, etc.  Whoever got it is likely to have AOL kill it daily.  If you can't win, give it another target.

 

As far as governor ... I think, like many others -- flunky!  Did you skip ehtics, do C work in Economics and excel inspeech class with project:  talk about anything for ten mintues -- tangents allowed?  I know its a tough job, but what I see is a lingering, sleeping-perhaps, state economy, job sources, and chest pounding.

 

I must lease the highway.  That's okay, if people then stop using it, then Indiana gets the money from the foreign company ($4 billion, I think upfront) and they maintain an unused road because nobody wants to pay higher rates and send the money out of the country.  The state government passes crud, sometimes co-authored by the governor, naming places, finalizing the daylight savings time -- welcome to the 48 other states Indiana -- ancient weaspons and a hokey religion

 

There are people in the state govenment who take surveys to learn of constuents' concerns and perspectives.  Mike Ripley, David Long do that.  Thanks for your interest and I do vote for you, because ... you do care.

 

To the mayor of my city and to the current governor, "Why don't you just quit!"+

 

+ Dorf on Golf

What's that count down?

10 .. 9 ... 8 ...

Why would you poke at a line with a straw? Islamic terrorists attack Israel, but that isn't news. Israel's resolve was, well, more dramatic. Okay, that's it. I've had my fill of 'pester pester pester'. When you hurt my people, you hurt my emotions.

I think that Israel is done playing. Do the locals undersnd the consequences? As an outsider, I would wonder why the Palestinians never made houses after 20 years, let alone 50 + years. Now, with the treaty, more former-Israeli territory is Palestinian, but that isn't enough. If the Islamic world didn't understand, attacking Israel, an ally in the area, well trained, armed; the US is certainly going to back them. Islamic terrorists have been responsible for most of the hijackings, bombings, murder plots. Iran has a long-standing tradition of hating America, the great satan, still including "death to America" in prayers.

Now that's an oxymoron! Praying to God that others die, murdered, and suffer. Somehow I missed that part religion, that hate preceeds love. I always understood God to be love and hate not-of-God. Hmmm, enough about that.

Israel, surrounded by people who hate them, have hated them, and blame them for much of their woes, despite backing the wrong horse with Arafat. Way to go ... a militant televangelist (or telesatanist) took all your money and did squat for you. Then, Sharon conquers what he feels needs "sedating". With new people, there's still "sins of the father", and no one can shelf it. Sadly, war in Israel has been and might always be.

Three main religions, all believing in the same God, sharing many of the same prinicples and texts, slaughter each other based on hate. The US, keeping Israel alive for many years makes us the target of aggression. I could understand if they hated the US for strongarm tactics or sinister business, but for keeping Israel alive? That premise is like cutting off some one's arm for his bumping you once 35 years ago in a busy market.

Any religion or sect or demonination that says, "God is love, but hate this group" is duplicitous and lying. It isn't a good religion. There are some Western religions that embrace this love everyone ... except [insert group(s) here]. That isn't love!

++ "When you play with my money, you play with my emotions."

photo afficiando

Monkeyjack and Dave have a tendency or preference for taking someone else's camera and leaving butt shots on their roll/card.  Monkeyjack openly asked to have a cellphone camera shot of (a known person)'s "humps".  Supposedly -- shot from below, "scary".  (a known person)'s response, "I don't want to get bigger".

 

I was out of the loop on that, and I didn't want in on it either.

"Hey.  Do you mind if I photograph your 'significant other's*' body parts?"

"No.  Sure.  Go right ahead."

 

It's a strange world.  I believe they were trying to get a new picture to send like a plague (virus can be treatable) on cellphones -- a bad chain message, "pass it on and spread the pain"

 

There were some women unknown to me down there that I would have loved to photograph ... starting with their faces--the cheeks people see more commonly

 

* significant other being girl/boyfried, spouse, fiance--or some other relation

end of the festival

Although I got hosed on parking, I was offered free water and most of the travel was quiet, some happy faces.  The superwet kids returning from the fountain were wet, tired and likely going to fall asleep before the fireworks -- regardless the noise.

Movies and a new analogy: fecal or fan

As I watched CG-heavy King Kong and was repulsed by its ugliness rather than "beauty" of animation.  That movie was bad.  I think I've come up with a new anaalogy:

some movies are the proverbial fan of "Well, the sh*t really hit the fan today!"; other movies are the fecal matter; still others go above and beyond and take both roles.

 

I'm guessing that Rocky VI (or 6-pack of ideas, in that after one 6-pack in an hour, the ideas were flowing like uric acid) is both fan and fecal, whereas King Kong was fecal

If you want really bad 50's-esque monster horror movies, you'll need cable to see Sci-Fi original pictures with CG, but 50's writing.

 

Sound of one hand clapping

A while ago, I used a phrase I thought common enough, but it like spilt water.

 

There's, "don't cry over spilt milk", but water generates even less of a reaction.  After my comment "disappeared like a fart in the wind"*1, I saw that people areound were looking "as if I had lobsters crawling out of my ears."*2.  I suppose that I should just use English or "just use the keyboard".

 

No one understands you when you speak a confusing 'tongue', while the speaker expects you know.  I guess it's like people approaching you about a band or group assuming that you know all about it or them.  Nope, no idea, no clue.  This would be like Black-Eyed Peas, which was 'regrouped' from Easy-E++.  I don't see the connection, but that's wikipedia.  Easy-E, of course, I could use around friends as a phrase for one-upping 2-Live Crew and surpassing all in early Gangster Rap.  When your "song" is about grabbing a prostitute off the street, raping her in the car, killing her, then dropping the body on the street, you'd think that it couldn't get worse.  I was wrong.

 

I'm kinda wonderin', since I didn't want to hear anything after that, was how could you get a woman to get into the group and "sing".  That baffles me.  Somehow, I think there's missing data.

 

*1 Shawshank Redeptions

*2 Christmas Story

 

++ according to one addition to wikipedia, Easy-E died from his AIDS condition.  How ironic that a man proclaiming evil, condoning evil, died from recklessness -- a slow, agonizing death for most.  My one hand clapping is for the irony here ... dead from evil

Fireworks (pictures later)

The end of the festival and I saw the firework. I tried to take photos, but often people were walking right in front of me. Nice, thanks! The fireworks were merely 20 minutes long. I stupidly parked a long way away from the park, thinking that the nearer spots were taken. I could have parked 3 blocks away for $3, but instead parked 12 blocks away for $4. That just stinks. The walk wasn't bad.

An interesting side note: Lori, Monkeyjack's wife, said that where she works had a serious incident. A husband, wife and two kids were there and an unknown man came up to the kids and began slamming their heads together. This was unprovoked, so it was unclear what was going on. Shortly into that, two men came up to rescue the kids. Why the parents didn't pounce on the guy, I don't know. I would have slain him. It would only occur to me later that the kids shouldn't see "daddy" butcher a man like cattle.

One rescuer began choking the assailant to the floor, while another swept his feet. The cops took the bloke away. I hope that he fell up and down stairs at the jail.
--

Back the fireworks. The end of the festival fireworks in town tend to be better than July 4th, but gracious ... it was not spectacular this year. Also, where we were, there were bright flood lights beaming continuously, making the display less special. This city needs a brain implant, I believe.

It was fun to see friends down there, but overall, the fireworks weren't worth $3 or $4, like I paid. A second side note. Charlie has to use the greenies to pee before we left. Oh, puke -- were they nasty. I think they had not been emptied for a week. Despite the disinfectant spray that hung like fog over the area, these 10 greenies (smaller section) exuded a foul colorless gas, I will call assinine (iocane) poison. I don't think you'd go there to do much other than pee, unless you were drunk or a naturally unchoosy person.

Thanks Indiana for not having jobs

I am so glad that Indiana has billions of sales jobs and millions of nurses jobs, but 2 possible advertising jobs. Nice! If only I were a nurse or loved to pester people into buying stuff they don't need.

If you can't find a copter, use an uncle

Charlie was hyper the last time I saw him and sans chopper ride downtown at the festival, I picked him up and spun him quickly. I had to stop after several times before I retched, but he had a good time. He loves copters and might very well become a pilot one day, but who knows.

Watching HS

the musical ... yoikes!  My neice chose it, not sure about it.  After watching it ... she didn't much like it.  I saw only part of it and found that I didn't like it either.

 

There was one scene ... "I made a mistake and I'm sorry about it.", reminded me of Chris Farely's character on Coneheads where he slaps his head hard saying, "I was so stupid.  I'm sorry; okay?"

Huge Big Boy

Huge Big Boy
Originally uploaded by MDH, II.

not sieg heil, but burger heil

This giant statue, on loan from some HQ is parked on the lawn at this recently remodeled Azar's. They added a drive-thu. It was fairly fast.

The statue actually got honks and hoots from drivers waiting at the light.

"Actually sir, he was never really gone. He still offer quality food at ..."*

I believe that he's about 17' tall, but I'm not sure. It certainly got attention. It was just so odd, that I had to take a photo.

* Austin Powers

Crawling

I got the chance to see a fairly rare event ... a cicada crawling before its molt. I saw one on the tree, thinking that it was a husk/molt I removed it and dropped it on my neice. She had been holding them and putting them on the tree, so I was surpirsed when she screamed. She said that it was still moving. I could hardly believe it, but it was. She grabbed the crawler and I put it back on the tree. This is one of a few shots I got of it. Others are on my flickr account.

I didn't see it erupt from the tree. Moments after that, my neice found the carcass of one. It was headless. I know that there are some wasps that specifically target these insects. I'm not sure what killed it.

How you feel

Jones Soda Holiday Pack response -- yuck, overall

Scott's

Scott's
Originally uploaded by MDH, II.

So, can you tell me how to get there?

Oh, sure. Just go straight down Lafontaine Avenue, left onto Inferior Blvd. , right onto Bush Street, then left onto Terra Haute Lane. I think when you're close, you'll know.

not between friends

How to lose friends or kill enemies. Eat these like rice, measured in cups dry to fan away fans. Destroy them by giveng them tons of these. Soon, they will buy air from anyone, regardless of price.

It's the new BK friendless meal ... 2 orders of large onion rings, BBQ sauce and chilli.


According to one source, the Outback Onion:

Dipping Sauce

1/2 cup mayonnaise

2 teaspoons ketchup

2 tablespoons cream-style horseradish

1/4 teaspoon paprika

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/8 teaspoon dried oregano

Dash ground black pepper

Dash cayenne pepper

The Onion

1 egg

1 cup milk

1 cup all-purpose flour

11/2 teaspoons salt

1 1/2 teaspoons cayenne pepper

1/2 teaspoon ground black

1/4 teaspoon dried oregano

1/8 teaspoon dried thyme

1/8 teaspoon cumin

1 giant Spanish onion (3/4 pound or more)

Vegetable oil for frying pepper

Movies Grim(m)

Brothers Grimm: Fairy tales with darkness. It's interesting that they had Heath Ledger in "fairy tales" as he was later in Brokeback Mountain, but I don't think I'll further that.

The movie was darker, less light and less levity, than the previews led me to believe. I would rate it a 4.7 overall based on conept, use of suspense, character development, acting, special effects. 4.7 is not a good ranking ranking from me, though I give few high numbers. I won't watch it again, as my score here shows, in that the suspense will be gone, few elements were worthy of watching twice and I never gave a care about any of the characters. The most notable person was Johnathan Pryce.

I saw on I-am-bored.com that Rocky 6; Rocky Balboa, is coming. How can I be sure, there are trailers. It is a cold hard fact that sheep were stupid. So, I'm sure there are some sheep who will see it, as they saw I (good), II (okay) III, IV, V -- that's just courteous to see it. Apparently the phrase, "there is no tomorrow" wasn't remembered.

"Tomorrow never dies", I guess, was the phrase remembered.

Gay bottle

Gay bottle
Originally uploaded by MDH, II.

Gay since 1703 ... oh, my!

I captured this, as MR saw it upon our entering of a liquor store. I needed beer, well ... wanted it. MR saw this and I had to photograh it. There was a series of four from the same company, but this one was Mount Gay, only under which can you read what it is.

I sent this message to Monkeyjack, but received no feedback. Sniff! I was hoping for a new cellphone virus, better than Jeffy's backside shot -- so gross! I also didn't want to one-up, Nate's hot dog bun shot -- grosser!

annother thing about soccer

Mike Peters, political cartoonist and cartoonist of Mother Goose and Grim.

 

http://www.grimmy.com/editorials.php

7/14/06

Seige at Firebase here

Another friggin' day with Reynolds Dweebs Inliner. Same crap, different day. What the heck is wrong with that company that they have to come out every couple of weeks, block the drive and do something close to nothing? Dweebs. I shouldn't have to pay for that crud!

Reynolds Inliner was chosen by the city to do "trenchless" sewer work, making the sewer better. They have been in front of the house, blocking the drive on 5 separate days now. I have grown ill of it and am writing a letter to the mayor with my concern that the company contracted may not be able to fulfill it's obligation of prompt and correct installation.

Punks!