Change is good

I have been to Applebees for years now. I think that I am done. I don't see much of a reason to return. I've been there, done that. There is no more land to conquer, no big draw anymore. I bid all of them well there.

Done

Charlie Murphy!

Rick's pat answer, "Cocaine is one hell of a drug", followed by laughter.
From Dave Chappelle's True Hollywood Stories season 1.

Movie idea

Sadly, I brought it up too late. When Freddy vs. Jason was announced, I thought of a better version. My "movie" idea, was about a short flick maybe ten minutes.

Freddy vs. Jason starring Michael Myers and Jim Carrey. I think it would be very enjoyable and laughable. I really wouldn't care who got which role.

Tales from the Debbie 3

Well it's Friday. Thank goodness. I’m thinking of ordering a pizza even though we ate out yesterday. Another week of running and chasing and feeding . Meg and I are tired. We usually do the brunt of the running. I vacumed out the van today. It only took $5. It started to look like it was parked by the world trade center. Ana is in peak shape with volleyball season here. It is hard to believe she has energy to talk. If she could run as fast as she speaks she would be world class olympian. She is enjoying school for the most part.
Mike is having a good year. He is very busy with scouts and football and band. Of course we have to get the socializing in there too. The room is looking to have the affects of not being home too often. I am not sure when i last saw the floor or the closet. Luckily the room has a door that closes!! He is maturing nicely and can be quite dependable this year!!
Dave has soooo much energy he is exhausting to watch or be around. He is busy ast school with bells and peer mediation and waiting baseball season to begin for him. I think he would like to play baseball in his rollerblades. Actually this summer the silly little bunch did just that. It was great to "run the bases" he does everything with his blades. I have caught him trying to scooter and bike ride with them. He is wearing out a few angels
Jon needs a cell phone. He is mister popularity. Unfortunately his popularity does not coincide with class instruction. "I hate school, there are too many rules" I don't agree with taking away recess, that is a parent punishment. His imagination is still wonderful. Lately he is pretending to be a biker. Not good when you don't wear the pads or helmet or have the dirt to fall in. His wish for loose teeth came all at once, which makes it great for water tricks.
Megan thinks turning 5 has given her priviledges of an adult. She does not see the correlation between preschool and the unlikehood of wondering over the neighborhood by herself or demanding what is to be done in a day. Overall she is an easy child, but does get in her "flossy" moods. Tony is working like a dog still. He is tired but has been very good at helping pick up after the various activities.
I am doing pretty good. Trying to convince myself that my new job is fun. We hope you are all good in spirits and health. I better go. It is Fri and soon the house will be filled with several children bearing teeth for more food.
God's peace, our prayers and love.
Deb
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Quotes from Megan:

MOm, why is the sky blue, why are you called mom, why is daddy the daddy?Why, why why??????

Why are you so full of questions Megan?

Because that's what God stuffed me with. Some TeddyBears have soft white stuff, but my belly is full of chocolate chip cookies and questions> age 5

Have a agreat day
deb
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Michael
“The cat scan was a disappointment. I thought it would be more fun. All I did is lay there and have to be still. I thought I would do the spinning.”
“I want you to make my cake mom. The frosting from the store tastes like the lipstick I use to eat as a kid.”
Jon
“I don't like my teacher. He sat me at the 'talking table' but I sat there because I was talking and then I was not suppose to talk.”
“I need a new spiderman outfit. Mine won't let me stick on the walls.”
Megan
“Don't let me miss the bus again, I didn't have time to talk with my friends.”
Next birthday I will be having a party and the circus can come too.
Dave
“Please can I have a snowboard for my birthday. I promise to use it outside and only down the steps in the summer.”
Ana
“ok really turn it up, I promise this is my favorite song. ok turn it up, I promise this is the other so my song. ok turn it up, the boys are making me crazy, they won't stop yelling.”

Hope you had a little fun today.
deb
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2/8/06
Those are really cute. Needed a good laugh. Thank you for my gifts. I am going to read the animal book tonight finally got the kids to the pool and to the movies. They had fun. We even attempted shopping. Didn't last long. Jon was mad as it was not toys r us. Megan did not want any “girl” clothes”, Mike and Dave were disgusted that I made them try on pants and if too baggy it is a no go at home. Ana upset that the low cuts could not be disguised well enough with a large belt. So we came out with about $39 worth of good.
Not bad for Kohs and 5 kids. Tony got home from camping. Stinky of course and tired. But a bit relaxed. I am jealous of it. Someday we will go again
One funny--- farty funny. Grocery store, 9pm. Not too many souls out shopping. Floors are slippery form resent mop. Jon and Mike chatting along in front of us. Yikes! Jon sounds like a motorcycle--a Harley! I quickly dodged into another aisle away, hoping to avoid the attention and the assured family membership. I dodged, I hid, but, of butt no; I was found. Now they are both laughing and sputtereing and making red faces. But the plan to humiliate mom literally backfires. Off to the can they run. Ha Ha. Lost them, oh wait, they found me just as I am using the temperamental self register. Oh the embarrassment, no long of the farting.
Over that by now. It is the fact that the gas expulsion has actually ruined the machine. After the grocery was paid for we go to the “look: of go back to never land.: so it was a good laugh in the care as we drive home with 3 boys singing various versions of who know what out the back sides. Oh life with boys. So illuminating! So glad I am a girl.
love you all bunches. Deb
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March 28, 2005
Top of the Morning to You. Here’s a day for motherhood. Yada yada on the carpool, nightmare traffic, chronic tardiness and slipped appointments. More yahoo for sibling mischief and mishaps, dogs barfing on the carpet, teachers calling from school and kids asking for money and “field trip” to the movies/mall for the weekend.
Let’s move on to making dinner. 5pm. Don’t know what it is about that hour but it’s bad. Tried several ways to avoid the decline of the day going to mass can get us there at about oh the “Go in Peace.” Today though the smoke alarm went off. dinner was cooking... bubba burgers..the boys love them. well it got a little smoke filled. DON”T WORRY. IT”S A FUNNY STORY> One of the boys hits the panic button and so the fire station and alarm company is called. Yeah there was some yelling. Oh the neighbors had fun. The windows are open, the fire department is coming and Mike is yelling. “dinner’s ready” So wait it’s better. I try to cancel the fire department but they want to make sure it’s ok. Should have just had them in for dinner.
Somewhere in here Tony comes home from work. Poor guy. Turns on the TV as I say... the fire department is here! Still some residual yelling but the kids are ready to eat!
In this blurr of it all Ana drives up from work. I say..” don’t panic, but it’s frustration zone just go upstairs.’“ As soon as the fire department leaves she tells me something so precious.
Mom” I was sent home from work for talking too fast and too much”
This is so funny because to know Ana when she is on “talk mode” yikes. Several of her friends have told her they just tune out and let her go. A handy little trick we learned years ago. Unfortutaly you have to pay attention because she usually is sneaking in vital information it just zooms as fast as cable.
God Bless High School Teachers.
God Bless Husbands.
God Bless Fathers.
God Bless Children.
God Bless Mothers.
I still think it is funny.
So have a really good day.
love ya,
Deb O

Tales from the Debbie 2

Hi to you. Here is another story to make your funny bone tickle. Got a call from Jon's teacher today. .... Apparently he has been calling some of his chums "Stinky Pete". As the character of Toy story 2. He called a girl stinky several times during the day. I am TRYING be the 'professional , level headed, sympathetic mom. Really tried hard until this poor teacher says "Is it a full moon or something today? The whole class was out of hand." Jon was put to the RED zone and lost his recess. I started to laugh when she said 'full moon' knowing my time was coming around 3pm. I said I was sorry and would talk to him. Then I asked her if she knew who "stinky Pete" is. She said no. I said well it is one of Jon's favorite movies and a character on Toy Story 2 known for his expelling of gas. 'OH she says. Yep, that's pretty funny". Poor teacher. I told her I commend her for keeping her cool. She said, " I commend you for having more than one boy".
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Boy Humor –
Mom, farts are funny. Especially when they smell so bad you have to leave the room.
"Jon and Dave if you throw one more ball in this house I am going to take all of your balls. – Mom, that would hurt.!!"( with hand gestures frantically grabbing for their jewels)
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Mom did you know that in the Jurassic period they not only did not have forks and knives, they didn't have tables either so can we eat on the floor???" – Dave
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"I'm hungry"
"Dave, you just had a sandwich, a bowl of cereal and cookies."
"Yeah, but that was just a snack"
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Mom, look what happened when I farted alot in these jeans. Of course there is a wear mark on the butt of jeans.
"I'm not that hungry today. I just want 2 double cheeseburgers, a salad, and fries and a milkshake." Not the happy meal. (Michael)
______
Megan" Im' the b aby, you can't spank me!!""

Jon "I am going to be the coolest kid in class, thanks mom." I cut his hair so he could 'spike ' it if he wanted with a can of mousse and a tube of gel, which of course he used!!

Dave: Mom can I play on the computer? I did my homework, scooped dog poop, took out the trash, picked up my room and put away dad's clothes and mine. (How could I say no to that)

Mike: Mom? Yes Michael. Do you have any electronic broken stuff or just anything I could take apart and look at. Dad's old computer is right here, can I take that apart???

Ana: Mom this really funny thing happened at school, I just need to tell someone it will only take a second. (And sure enough, I got a two-hour breakdown of and episode of a school day in about 1 second.)

Tony: Did you know that the stupid McDonalds downtown does not sell their (somethingburger) for.99$!!! It costs 1.19$ so I ONLY got one!!. (Wasting away to practically nothing)

Kids "Mom what are you baking in the oven?" Deb-- Ah nothing kids. Oh geez, you can't be that cold again mom. Were you born on the sun? There are aliens!! (little stinkers)
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April 29, 2001

Hi. We will plan on coming up for your big party. The kids are excited for it too!! Although I'll admit that only Ana and perhaps Mike understand what 'graduation' means. If it means cake and time with family the rest are for it!!!
We spent the day at Eagle Creek Park yesterday and had a wonderful time. I can't wait to go back and perhaps rent some canoes. Perfect day if not a bit chilly at 70 something. We saw some cool bird, dead fish, ugly bugs and a bee that made it's way into the van. Right as we enter the park the two girls who were in back of Tony and I start a high decibel estrogen fear scream. I nearly wet my pants. No words just screaming for what seems to be a good 5 min but it was probably only seconds. Apparently a little sweat bee landed on Megan's blanket and would not exit the car. Ana and Megan were sweating and full of tears and shaking. Tony nearly ran the park ranger over trying to pay the entrance fee and find a safe place to park.
Mike of course came up with a good, low-key response, "I think you exploded that bees head with all those screams." Megan and Ana still find no humor in the horrible flight of the bumblebee. The rest of the day was fairly uneventful, just a different place for the boys to fight and the girls to complain. Tony and I got somewhat of a hike with the kids if you count how many times we told them to stay out of the water. We would be Bill Gates envy if it paid us money. Thunder came too and is quite sore for all the hiking and growling he did. He almost caught a couple of ducks if it wasn't for that stupid leash. My shoulder is sore today from the ranks he gave it
Tony is off to Texas tonight. He goes anymore often and I'll have to get him a Bush Badge and a Texas tie and some boots. He does love the food over there. Nice and hot and spicy again. No gringo style food.

Tales from the Debbie 1

6/24/00
Unbelievable. Took the boys to a park, they found a river. By the river they found mud. In the river they found minnows and bugs and lots of ugly things. Meg went too. They went 'wading'. Now they are muddy, smell like fish and are soaked. Unfortunately we had to pick up Ana at Butler U. Me and 400 other parents with their hot, but clean children, waited for the choral to let out. Now in the sun the smell is getting quite bad. So as not to draw attentions to themselves, as they never do, they preceded to play the computer game "worms", as live people. This being a quiet game, ha, ha, all 400 some people now look and smell.
Of course Mike decided earlier to t clean his muddy feet off by flicking the mud around. It is in my hair, on my yellow shirt and my legs. Now I am home and going to go get Meg and myself in the tub, take a nap and try again tomorrow. On blessing is that I was smart enough to not bring the dog.

6/26/00
Sounds like a busy week for you. We have it easy this week. Nothing much planned. Tony has the pager this week so who knows what sort of mood he might be in. Although last week he hardly was paged. Ana's concert was awesome on Sat. Butler must be known for their music dept. The director of children's choral was also founder. Exceptional behavior and talent from all. Nice to listen to a concert in a hall and not a gym. Dave went with and enjoyed also.
Went to library and blockbuster today. Made a big mistake and rented Small Soldiers. I did not see it but was told by all that it was violent and also rated PG13. Big mom mistake. Oops. Meg was upstairs with me reading lots of library books, going potty and jumping on beds and finally after a bottle or two passed out, I think mom was first!
Never did get around to feed store, or rather grocery store. After two errands and the chaos of checking in 5 children for book club at library and arguing with Mike about appropriate books to read, then again another argument from all about movies to rent, then to bread store and hear complaints about what snacks to get, get home and quickly pass out food to the poor starving children who seem to grow an inch overnight.
They swallow the food, belch, get hungry again, and the cycle never ends. Oh to take them swimming the food just doesn't get ripped open fast enough. If we lived on a farm I think you would actually hear the cows screaming for help from above.
I guess we will see you possibly on Sun then. We will probably be at mass at the 9am service, other that that we don't have much plans

Good luck with school
Deb

I had a great laugh today. The kids and I went to the mall and Jon being himself, ran ahead of us, boys in the middle, Ana at the jewelry counter and Megan singing to herself (Santa Claus Is coming to town) in the caboose end. Just me as the adult. So I finally see Jon ahead, most of the way up and escalator and I yell to him, "Don't you dare run any farther". So just like in the cartoons he "ran " down the UP escalator and of course is not making any headway. For about 2-3 minutes he is doing the reverse stairmaster and his face is that of a bit of a panic and laughing. I could not help myself. I broke out into a big giggle and the others, other shoppers included joined me. Finally he came down and we all hugged him. It was funny. Needless to say he didn't wander nor run far again.
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Hello

My name is Debbie. I am a fish killer. I did not mean to start out that way, it just sort of happened. You know how these things go. For some reason they just die in my care. I try to set them free from their little bags and it just happens. They flop around on the table and sometimes on the floor. Then a really big furry thing chases after them. It must be the fact that they are so slimy. They really gross me out.
We know Debbie, we know. We all started out that way. Seemed so innocent. Buy a few gold fish for the tank. Then before you know it you have killed an entire school of fish. We have all been there! Soon your kids refuse to go down the fish isle of the supermarket with you. THEY JUST KNOW YOU KILLED THEM!! Soon even the piranha's at the zoo swim to the other side of the tank when they see you. Until finally your name is added to the most wanted list at all the Sea Worlds and Aquariums. Ed our charter member has only recently been taken off the list. He was banned from Shedds Aquarium and had to keep a city block distance from it. That is how bad this disease can take you!!

But to help you here are the 12 fish steps to keep you from your disease.

1. Admit you have a problem.
2. Attend your weekly FKA (fish killers anonymous) meetings
3. Know your limits!!
4. Read your fish care and feeding book faithfully
5. Apologize to all the pet stores, aquariums and sea worlds you have attended over the years. (a letter is good) They don't want you there anyway!
6. Apologize to all the people who have lost pets because of you. No substitute for a personal apology.
7. Learn to love slime.
8. Go to the Zoo's your fish and you classes
9. Start using the phrase I respect all finned creatures
10. Remove any fish trophies you may have acquired over the years. Especially the ones that list how many fish you have killed.
11. GIVE UP THE FISH STICKS. THAT IS IN VERY POOR TASTE
12. Make a finned friend

Follow these 12 steps and you too will be free from the fish killers disease.
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How are you.? Hope life is good. Marc wrote and said Joe has a job. That is great. It is so nice to see him and you have a good year. Life is never easy but maybe a little better!! Not much new here. Been on a lot of places looking for boyscout project stuff, finally found all of it and the yarn that I needed to match the blanket I am making Beth. 4 stores if not more for each project. I am NOT going anywhere tomorrow. I am going to clean the carpet, I hope at least. It is making me nuts. Tony is quite adamant about me not working, he is really stressed right now with the job and scouts and church. Just wish there was more time for me. Maybe it is better that I don't work, always have to worry about future and money, looking at orthodontists I am sure very soon. Well here is something to make you laugh
Took all the kids the Meijer's after a movies last week for ' quick' shopping. I decided to look at meat since we had none in the house. I am trying not to get distracted by all the antics the boys and Meg can do and Ana standing aisles away so not to be embarrassed. I just wanted to shop. I hear people laughing and the kids in stitches. Thinking that they destroyed something I turned around a bit angry when I see Jon with his face in raw meat, growling, teeth clenched and snarling, arms held like a dinosaur and slobber everywhere. "Jonathan!!! What are you doing."!!!!
" I am not Jonathan, I am a velosoraptor and I am hungry!!"

So I bought a box of chips and off we went.

love you
deb
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Quotes from Megan:" "
 When the doctor touched my face she was checking my brain. (actually checking sinuses.) Ana, when the doctor checks your face, she is checking your minuses.
 I have brown-cow idis. You get it if you play in the brown dirty snow. (actually bronchitis)
 Chocolate chip cookies help you grow, as long as you dip them in the milk in your cereal.
 When the sun stays in the clouds all day, you can't get dressed in your sunclothes, you have to stay in your jammies.
 When I grow up the be a mommy, you (mom) grow down to be me. (this point she is quite adimant)
 Sometimes when I sneeze, I fart by accident. But it never comes out my ears.
 When it is time for me to go to school I am going to take my backpack, my blankie, my thumb and ride the bus, have lunch with Jonnie and come home.

Novus Crepundia

Not Richard Pryor, but quite similar.
Charlie, when young, liked me for a playmate but more often as a toy. What I mean by that is, that he would insist that I stay in his bedroom while he went out in the living room with the adults for something. Toys aren't supposed to up and leave ... how rude! His tendency to keep me apart from anyone else and not share me was silly.
Monkeyjack described this situation much like The Toy, with Richard Pryor, however in this case I wasn't bought like a slave. Charlie also isn't a task master.

One time, while I was pushing him on his swing, he said, "[my first name], I love you!" How could anyone not be melted?

Monkeyjack reported to me Saturday that there is an alien infestation, as he and Charlie have been battling them for weeks now, unabated.

Barbie gests a facial

My nieces had many, many, many (not exaggerating here) Barbies, dolls, and tons of clothes for them. On one of many occasions, the basement was a backstage fashion show. Dolls littered the floor as did piles of tiny garments. Mum, who loves birds, wanted to hold one of the birds. These birds (tiny) were social, but picky.
They would start on your hand, but much prefer to be on your shoulder / neck (how piratey). In order to hold them at the fingers, despite their timid pecking of your fingers, you simply put one finger over their talons, securing them there.
Birds are not known for their etiquette and so one let go.

Barbie, halfway under the sofa and half exposed, really one of tens of them, looked up. Sad for her that she got a parakeet facial. Splat! If ever anyone wanted to make a political or comment against Barbie, this bird one-upped them.
After that, she looked more like a Cruella De-Vil, white streaks, colorless face or a Kabuki actor.

Gross, but quite memeorable.

Mum and rabbits

My neices got a bunny each one year. They were very cute! It just so happened, when they visited, excited about the bunnies, that I was cutting up broccoli. I prefer raw veggies to cooked ones. The rabbits and I shared this.
Well, while resting or hopping around on the girls chests as they laid still, they happily ate the broccoli and summarily peed and pooped. Wee little bunnies have small discharges, of little concern.
Later, while the girls were finding ways to play with them, they often allowed them to roam around the floor where they would find neat things to chew. All rabbits chew and sometimes aren't all that considerate. I had some t-shirts that had particular pits and holes from their ... chewing. The origins of chewing are manyfold, suffice to say, it is something that rabbits continually do.
That being the case, Mum, hesitant around the rabbits announced to them that,
If one of these bunnies bites me, youall gonna git it!
That's funny, because she has no southern drawl or speech. She still carries Pennsylvania Dutch colloquialisms and some Pittsburghese *.
I believe that my sister, who got the rabbits hoped for one of each, but I think they got two females who humped each other for dominance.
To further this Doolittle Tale, we introduce birds. The basement smelled, well ... ripe. We couldn't forget the turtle and the frogs.

-- T.B.C.

* actually, there was a published book How to Speak Pittsburghese

Switching pitchers

As this rap is winding down
As you can see, we wear the crown

-- Anthrax, I'm the Man

Perhaps I can use a dog bone instead (followed by stuttered, crazy laughter)

-- Peter Lorre like character in a Warner Brothers Bugs Bunny cartoon

I doubt that I'll have enough fame ever to shift from high energy wrastling to "Slip into a Slim Jim" commercials, then ending with a spot in a multi-million dollar movie, like, say ... Spiderman. I'm referring to Macho Man Randy Savage. Although I never liked wrstling, his name was quite familiar, much like Hulk Hogan, although he got a movie bit in Rocky III.

What to do. My vocation choice ... was it a good one. I like it and it brings me joy, but some of the government (bureaucracy) of it all makes the "chocolate taste terrible" 1. I've tried curve balls, fast balls, intentional fouls, but so many pitches are hit away with limitless, bounding procedures. What is the procedure for reviewing procedures? Here. Read the 30-page report on how to read review procedures.

Do you remember that we're trying to teach here? Was that lost in the translation, "... and the monk comes up hours later, crying ... 'It says celebrate!' 2"

An elephant and donkey come to their respective homes, at different times, to find their lovers (another elephant and donkey) in bed with their spouses.
Wait. That's no joke, that's politics. I despise politics. There are no held morals in politics.



1 Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
2 old joke on a monk researching relic versions the bible for transcriptions