defense

Your honor, ladies and gentleman of the jury, I offer the defense of idiosyncratic hatred, on the part of my client in the shooting deaths of several unrelated people.
Let me tell you of the circumstances of my client, the alleged uptown spree-kiler.
My client had only just left the indoor firing range, which later is was discovered that there were multiple shootings; might I say, possibly after my client left ... when he pulled into the parking lot to get some groceries. At this time, he rather forgot his handgun, but I would like to remind you that he often doesn't lock his doors. Because he took the gun with him, on accident, it prevented anyone from stealing it from his car and being used to commit crimes, or worse that a child might accidently shoot the weapon.
After a few mintues of shopping, my client was waiting in line, and waiting and waiting. The woman ahead of him stood there for a good ten minutes before realizing that the cashier had asked her, "paper or plastic". Finally she can begin loading bags and scanning more items, and still the store didn't open any more lanes. By this time, my client was getting aggitated and having stood all day, was tired and had missed breakfast that morning.
I will add here, that they fouled up his order at the fast food checkout during lunch and failed to give him all of this change (23 cents).
The woman ahead of him decided that she didn't want half of the items after they were scanned, though she knew the prices. She went through each bag, emptying it entirely until she found an item here or there that she didn't want, forcing the cashier to rebag it all.
This had been now 24 minutes that my client was waiting. After all of the messing around with the items, the total was $4.65 less. She was ready to check out, but then argued about the prices on two of the items. My client then nicely offered to pay for the items ("Just let me pay for the ("four profain terms here, you three profain terms here "), his comment was a little less plain, but she declined with a sneer. She spent another 10 minutes counting out change and finding that she was 10 cents short, would write a check, but declined the twenty pens she was offered by the people at the store, for they weren't her "special ___________ pen".

My client hoped that he could save the people behind him some grief by pulling out his wallet early, but mistakenly pulled on the handle of the gun. He naturally didn't want it to fall, so juggled it until he had control of it, as it then pointed directly at the lady ahead of him. At this time, she said, "Look sonny ..." (touching the gun with her hand, which put enough pressure on my client's difficult grasp on the gun that it discharged. It was in this scared state that he instinctively pulled the trigger several more times, all the bullets entering into Marge Botox, killing her.

That was sad, and my client's reaction was strange, in that he just wanted now to check out and leave the store. The people all around him were panicked and some started making phone calls. Again, more time wasted. He yelled to the, perhaps stunned, perhaps high cashier to check out the groceries, but she didn't. It was at this time that he again began to lose his grip on his gun, he was quite tired now, and it discharged again through the register and into Wanda's shoulder, where she fell to the floor. None of the other employees would check out his groceries, so he grabbed them, throwing money on the counter and leaving.

He foolishly fired a couple of times at bothersome insects, striking two people calling on their cellphones. He angerly left the store and tried to get out of the parking lot, where he had to again wait while some poorer drivers idled time away deciding where to park and re-attempt to park several times, so that the car was straight. One person preventing him from leaving, so he again, so he shot in the air -- so he thought, because of his super loud horn tends to scare people.

His nearly defrosted meat was dripping everywhere, so he was in a panic to get home. Naturally when the cops were behind him, he should have pulled over, but he was not thinking clearly about that, but rather of the wasted if the meat went bad. It was sheer accident when the gun went off in the officers direction when he tried to enter the house.

Having spent his entire clip of bullets by now, he thoughtlessly changed clips -- as he was at target practice today, as I had mentioned. Now very weak, he went to put away groceries and found that the door was stuck. He shot at the door to open it, but was a poorer shot now because of his weariness, which is why three officers were shot. He was just putting away the groceries, when the officers broke in, wrecking his new door, frame and security devices. May I add that the officers had broken windows also.

He didn't want any accidently shootings, is why he didn't immediately drop his weapon. So as you see, the days events were merely a long string of accidents, so my client is not guity. If you find that he is guilty, you must find him guilty by reason of idiosyncratic hatred, in that mindless waiting, especially for stupid others puts him in a fight or flight heightened level of excitement, eager to end his waiting.

Thank you.