Gradually degenerating into ignorance and complacency.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Convenient timing

John Karr, substitute teacher (my prior job) may very well be the killer. He was regarded as a poor teacher, though. He taught in many different places and was a caregiver. According to some reports, he had a sexual assault charge, but in California during a fingerprint check -- nothing came up. I'll return to this fiend later.

I know that there are two schools of thought on male teachers -- perverts and queers. Little does anyone remember the powermad school masters who beat the snot out of kids who threw a fit or didn't "get with the program" in one room school houses. Later, the state was happy to pay women teachers less and require them to be unmarried. Later still, integration and the vast need for qualified teachers.

Men should be role models -- and many urbanites need good role models, men and women. Generally, it is accepted (through assumption and data) that urbanites tend not to have a stable father figure in their lives (via jail/prison, abandonment, death, etc.) I actually was a novelty, and I love teaching, but as life would have it, I failed to fullfill a requirement, relegating me out of teaching, which didn't pay me much anyway.

During my experience, there was always doubt, wonder, suspicion as to which one I was -- queer or pervert. As it happens, I'm neither, but that wouldn't sway most persons feeling I had to be one or the other or both. An EH (emotionally handicapped) child once called me a pedophile, actually perfunctory response in an attempt to defy me, get attention, and to seem superior. It was my only time that I met or saw the child, in that 5th grade class. A month later, she was removed from the school and into another program.

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I think that Ramsy's killer being a substitute teacher and caregiver spells a mess of problems for male teachers, regardless of the time they put in. It underscores fears, much like a Black male armed robber. It's common --statistically, almost predictable. It would be "newsworthy" if it was a Asian women in her 40s.

A woman teacher, "mom" as it were, is trusted categorically because she is a woman, who could be a mother. I have found, even in my small group of 90 would-be teachers, that some carried too much baggage for the trip. One woman would not teach in a mostly Black or high-percentage Black school. She didn't like Blacks. You don't get to always choose. She could not have been a fair teacher. A couple others, I had in the back of my mind -- certain worries about their intents -- control mainly, over others; nothing more.

I did encounter some creepy adults; somehow affiliated with students at a sschool, whether parents, uncles, cousins, etc. Some surely would have been jailed for mindcrimes. Even others were, well, demonstratively too close with some kids. That may or may not have led to anything, but the wrongness was there.
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Now, away from that, I find that it really would have killed me anyway. I'm still wanting to be a dad someday and having all those kids around me would either make me crazy to adopt or jump into a stupid relationship (to be a father), or get soured on kids totally and never want to deal with them really. It is a fine line.
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So far, no job, but the month of August might bring something.

Aren't you the stripper?


surprise meeting (Oh, Jeffrey)
Originally uploaded by MDH, II.
Yes, yes, yes ... we all know what I did! Hey! I want to see what you do after drinking 1.25 gallons of beer. I know this because of the number 32oz cups I filled and drank of beer, before my memory became extinct like the dodo (or really lightning in a storm -- in flashes only). I kinda got the impression that I got the wrong impression about the party.

I also found out that even thirty pieces of gum, singularly or similtaneously didn't hide the smell of that much beer on your breath. I think the stumbling and nudity gave away my condition. In my head I was making words, but listening to me -- not so much.

originally from Coupling. surprise meeting (Oh, Jeffrey)

expounding upon MR's **ck Lebanon

Sadly, too many people see others as the problem and not their hate. Why think when acting and hating are faster ("more seductive"+)? "History shows that destroying has always been easier than creating."++

The US seems like an odd nation to be finger wagging and pointing, regarding its dismal history and track record (like genocide of native peoples, hundreds of years of slavery), condoning of underpayment of illegals (to some this is evil) -- I'd say, employment is illegal. They entered illegally, then have to be underpaid to exist -- tip from narrow-minded person, learn English and enter legally.

We do, however, allow freedoms -- sometimes too many to the wrong persons. I can go to a restaurant and order Korean food or an Indian restaurant and order food, sometimes not knowing what the items are. Better still, I can send it back. Most things are done by contract, not "I divorce you. I divorce you. I divorce you." sealing the end of the marriage. Similarly, I can get a job and then not randomly be fired.

I can drive through this small city and find Jehovah's Witness halls, Menenite Chapels, Synogogues, churches of all flavors (Catholic, Lutheran, Baptist, Methodist, Evengelical, Later Day, etc.). I do criticize others, belittle small bits of irony and inconsistencies in doctorine, but am happy there are choices. Really, the US is a consumer's market on many things including religion.

You believe that faith and faith only can cure your cancer, that is within your rights as an adult to let yourself go with that method. If you want to include poisonous snakes in your worship of God, that's okay too. If you want to accept no God (or god), that's cool. You may be ridiculed by others, not quite a Job character, but you aren't slain for it.

Killed for gayiety was a possibility, but now homosexuality is a fad. Aparently it's okay or cool, trendy to be seuxally wishy-washy. I think here, I'll be outdated and stick with hetrosexuality, but I'm fine with that. Simple principles, but very complex laws (too ubiquitous lawyers) make for a safer society with freedoms that other nations surrender or don't fight to have.

As for Syria, Lebanon, Jordan -- I think in the 70s you made it clear where you stood, and I'm sure that your mind is stuck, groovy with the 70s hate, retroactively cool, even in 2006.

+ Star Wars, New Hope
++ Star Trek II: Wrath of Khan