Christmas funnies 2005

Jenny trips over chair -- uninjured, trying to reach phone call for Jessica. Winter Olympics are in February 2006, we have a good contender here.

A previously stomach-ill Angel still charges after gifts, opening 1 containing her dog bones and eats straight from the box ... throughout the day is foul-windish attic and basement. This caused some tension, as wherever she went -- the wind would surely follow.

Father, videographer extrodinaire, sets the camcorder on a chair during unwrapping, implying to me that it is on pause, but to no shock -- it was flimning its resting and odd angles.

Gary, Jenny's beau, came over to spend some time with us (sister's house). He's a nice kid -- I have high hopes for him. If I were to liken him to anyone facially, Mark Hamill -- younger years. He reported an odd presentation of a gift -- $400 in ones ... wadded up into a box. So to get the "million box, there are one million little boxes ... inside each of those boxes is a crisp, new one dollar bill" money, he had to unwadded it. He said he stopped at $200, then rested.

I can think of a nasty trick for my father, who is a prankster at times.
Traditions:

Father started a tradition of Santa leaving animal crackers (simple little boxes), wrapped in with the gifts. After decades of this, you are well capable of "sniffing them out". He asked for suggestions to better disguise them -- I suggested attaching balsom wood from a citrus crate onto them -- altering their shapes. Anyway -- I no longer eat them. So he has a new challenge: what to do about mine. What I remember them being:

flattened box: accidentally crushed by reindeer
emptied: Santa was especially hungry
opened: inside was a deformed cracker with a note detailing that it was a poo pile
this year: filled with something I do eat -- BBQ potato chips

I suppose that I will take with me all of these quirky, decades-old traditons and include them into the holidays.

Church happenings:
I attended candlelitght vigil, where near the closing candles are lit -- passing the flame to the next person. This is interesting only in the fact that I chose a snapped candle, but it worked just fine. My mother's was dim -- at best, so I tried to improve the flame. In doing so, the bottom holder fell under the seats. I got the flame better. Father handed his candle to Mum and went searching for the holder. All the while the pastor continued on his talk ... clink, clatter, clink ... he got it ... then it fell again (mind you that the lights were down) ... again retrieved ... (tra-la-la -- Captain Underpants is victorious and everything that is good and cottony is saved).

end of spam 2005

"New gimmick for them 04 inversedly"
'"amperemeter laceration"
"baldicoot roundsman"
"but chromosphere, Yves and implausible"
"Barn be wigwam, it's skiff"
"As take it enormously pronoun"
"Are borrow be realisable dyestuff"
"portend propagandist"

Judo

Often pits persons of nearly the same weight against each other. Sometimes one is larger, but his opponent uses the weight difference against him. So is true in our next story:

My sister who "might" outweigh her Christmas tree positioned herself well for the conflict, conceding that Tom didn't shift it like he said he was going to. She was going to do it. She readied herself for the ensuing battle, but didn't react fast enough the the tree's cat-like reflexes.

She lunged, it teetered, swaying away from her grasp, then inexplicably, it surrendered, falling prostrate, with her victorious over her fir adversary. Only the tinkling of ornaments reminded us of the once mighty Christmas tree and its once-notable power.

At least that's the way she told it ... I couldn't believe it was simply falling into it, breaking it nearly in half trying to move it. By the way: sister, 4' 11", <105 pounds, versus 7' tree weighed by metal and trinkets and slashing branch weapons.