We have that now

Oh ... I get it now. I was thinking they meant, fatherless children which we have now.

I prefer etha-holic

I think I like it better because, while alcoholism is regarded as a disease, more often people have ethaholism, which is a cop-out. I would like to enter a treatment program to avoid incarceration. I'm entering treatment (to avoid losing my job). I can shorten my sentence with a treatment program. Thank goodness Jack Daniels mixes well with the free coffee offered at 11:00 at night in the bottom of a dimly-lit building.

I can have the taxpayers pay for my treatment and the cancer I get from smoking cigarettes like others breathe oxygen. I'll sue the tobacco industry for my addiction and its side effect of chronic fatigue syndrome that made me lose my job of six days.