glimpse

Why fight when you can get a person to quit? I turned in two weeks notice at work. One guy turned to me, "when you take over inventory", I interrupted, "I turned in my two weeks notice."

The lazy man, humbled by my statement folded like a 9 high to a potential royal flush. Yes, he would retain his long weekly dreary job. I mentioned also payroll, which I would no longer be doing. This too, would fall on him. So this guy gets inventory, payroll, and the other two get ...
one hour paperwork. Huh. If Payroll, done right, takes 2.1 hours, bi-weekly and inventory takes 6 hours weekly, he's screwed.

It is now up to him to do more, which he doesn't. He fights at work with others not following his directions, but ... he is hypocritical and doesn't seem to match one to one, as you break a rule, others will too and that sort of jazz.

I leave my workplace of deadwood at the top and live timber (workers, in every sense of the word) at the bottom. I hope that those few seeking other jobs get the fink out of there and let the deadwood crumble finally, to be replaced by something that works. The management team there is a team of asses, not horses. They are stubborn and ill suited to pull a train.

wrong cues

I pulled into a hospital parking garage. It had limited height access and a monitor to track vehicles. A sign, that wasn't lit with my car, was "Too High to Enter".

I thought that it might make paranoid pot smokers wonder how big brother got to be so smart.

"Dude, how did they know?"

warning message from Verisex Wireless

Dear subscriber, Your sex balance is low. Your account will be put in virginity mode.Please refuck as soon as possible. Thank you, Dept 69

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I got last night ... wasn't sure about it until I read it...
oh, very funny, now I get it!

duet

anecdotal irony;
two fortune cookie slips

"Life will throw you a pleasant curve"
"A romantic evening awaits you tonight"

two swans, mates for life, gliding coolly in the winter pond