SLAP!

So I found out which lines don't work very well.

1. There's a party in my pants, want to cum?
2. Live with me if you want to cum!
3. Cum with me if you want to live!
4. One time, in my pants ... (said like American Pie's "one time at Band Camp ...)
5. When you slapped me in the face, I thought you were warming up your seat.
6. I believe in safe sex on my latex air mattress bed.
7. Need help going down on the stairs?
8. It doesn't matter, I'll act thespian or lesbian for you.
9. I enjoy great thighs, breasts, and ribs, but I don't eat meat.
10. I was just warming my hands.
11. I was practicing pencil sharpening.
12. It was standing at attention awaiting orders.

like a sugar high

I think my pangs for her are waning now. Thank goodness. It helped that she wore a really ugly lipstick color. I think it was "fatlip" color from the Mike Tyson cosmetic company. When she's worn more natural lip color ... with her general appearance ... ummm, yum. What attracts me isn't her visage, but rather her. When I've spoken with her, she's interesting, has ideals and hasn't had the bit of luck to show her great potential.

There's another woman there who's the local hottie, but she's a puzzle with missing pieces that would take you years to assemble. She's had an unhappy life-- so there's luggage, baggage, and a void (needing to be filled). Too much, too much for me thanks! The other little hottie is still teen-thinking in many respects. Dude, grapes aren't wine, there's a process that's missing there.

Still, the woman there who invades my dreams ... hm. If only reality were more malleable -- I'd change me.

uh huh (noddng of head)

So there was a family who nodded heads as they were asked questions. I had to think of where I saw it before. It was in Men in Black when Agent K and Agent D stopped a truck with illegals. There was an alien that didn't speak Spanish. It was the same.

Did you want nuclear capability with this?
nod

Would you like to nibble on my bottom?
nod

What is the capital of Peru?
nod

Look! The problem was, "yes" or nodding was the wrong answer. Had one of you understood English or responded, "no comprende", I would have tried something else, but you did neither. Flakes! Sunzabichesbumpises!

YouTube thinks I'm a loser

I have no subscribers, no friends, geez! I get it!

Dear FBI,

Listen to this:

"Flush" and other bathroom noises. If you want to listen in to what I'm saying, then "I hope [you] have a good appetite for it"+. I'll host chips, celery, and dry root beer so you can hear deafening crunching and microphone-breaking belches. Why don't you just call it what it is, 'spying'.

"Okay, the HEROIN shipment is quite large."++

+ Charles Dickens, "Christmas Carol"
++ Lethal Weapon

He's got a funny kind of humor

There was a rush of late night business, as is typical of Sunday, mixed with other nuisances ... I stayed later. The one guy, noting the "lack of personnel" scheduled for that time stated, [the GM] "has an odd sense of humor". Yeah ... the butt and the kicking and the butt was us. The butt end of the joke.

You want some more crap to do, do you?
No.

Good, 'cause here it is ..
I'll do a Milton Waddams, "No, you see I can't move any more ... I uh..."+

+ Office Space, 'stapler guy' who kept getting moved into smaller areas.