2 jokes care of Jim

Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby. Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked. Heidi pushed and pushed and after a little while, Connor was born. The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry. The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-yr old what she thought about what she had just witnessed. Kathleen quickly responded, "He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place......smack his butt again!"

….

The reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse is that you cannot post "Thou Shalt Not Steal", "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery", and "Thou Shalt Not Lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.

Bitch about Mitch

The Governor has mailings.  I unsubscribed to no avail.  He spams me, or rather his supporters do.  I eventually blocked his address.  Since I saw nothing from the dweeb in a while, I thought -- freedom, but no.  The moment I turned off the block -- the masseages came in like mosquitos.  I fianlly "updated" my account and entered a random aol address.  This seems cruel, but it isn't.  AOL always gives warnings about new addresses, foreign mail, etc.  Whoever got it is likely to have AOL kill it daily.  If you can't win, give it another target.

 

As far as governor ... I think, like many others -- flunky!  Did you skip ehtics, do C work in Economics and excel inspeech class with project:  talk about anything for ten mintues -- tangents allowed?  I know its a tough job, but what I see is a lingering, sleeping-perhaps, state economy, job sources, and chest pounding.

 

I must lease the highway.  That's okay, if people then stop using it, then Indiana gets the money from the foreign company ($4 billion, I think upfront) and they maintain an unused road because nobody wants to pay higher rates and send the money out of the country.  The state government passes crud, sometimes co-authored by the governor, naming places, finalizing the daylight savings time -- welcome to the 48 other states Indiana -- ancient weaspons and a hokey religion

 

There are people in the state govenment who take surveys to learn of constuents' concerns and perspectives.  Mike Ripley, David Long do that.  Thanks for your interest and I do vote for you, because ... you do care.

 

To the mayor of my city and to the current governor, "Why don't you just quit!"+

 

+ Dorf on Golf

What's that count down?

10 .. 9 ... 8 ...

Why would you poke at a line with a straw? Islamic terrorists attack Israel, but that isn't news. Israel's resolve was, well, more dramatic. Okay, that's it. I've had my fill of 'pester pester pester'. When you hurt my people, you hurt my emotions.

I think that Israel is done playing. Do the locals undersnd the consequences? As an outsider, I would wonder why the Palestinians never made houses after 20 years, let alone 50 + years. Now, with the treaty, more former-Israeli territory is Palestinian, but that isn't enough. If the Islamic world didn't understand, attacking Israel, an ally in the area, well trained, armed; the US is certainly going to back them. Islamic terrorists have been responsible for most of the hijackings, bombings, murder plots. Iran has a long-standing tradition of hating America, the great satan, still including "death to America" in prayers.

Now that's an oxymoron! Praying to God that others die, murdered, and suffer. Somehow I missed that part religion, that hate preceeds love. I always understood God to be love and hate not-of-God. Hmmm, enough about that.

Israel, surrounded by people who hate them, have hated them, and blame them for much of their woes, despite backing the wrong horse with Arafat. Way to go ... a militant televangelist (or telesatanist) took all your money and did squat for you. Then, Sharon conquers what he feels needs "sedating". With new people, there's still "sins of the father", and no one can shelf it. Sadly, war in Israel has been and might always be.

Three main religions, all believing in the same God, sharing many of the same prinicples and texts, slaughter each other based on hate. The US, keeping Israel alive for many years makes us the target of aggression. I could understand if they hated the US for strongarm tactics or sinister business, but for keeping Israel alive? That premise is like cutting off some one's arm for his bumping you once 35 years ago in a busy market.

Any religion or sect or demonination that says, "God is love, but hate this group" is duplicitous and lying. It isn't a good religion. There are some Western religions that embrace this love everyone ... except [insert group(s) here]. That isn't love!

++ "When you play with my money, you play with my emotions."

photo afficiando

Monkeyjack and Dave have a tendency or preference for taking someone else's camera and leaving butt shots on their roll/card.  Monkeyjack openly asked to have a cellphone camera shot of (a known person)'s "humps".  Supposedly -- shot from below, "scary".  (a known person)'s response, "I don't want to get bigger".

 

I was out of the loop on that, and I didn't want in on it either.

"Hey.  Do you mind if I photograph your 'significant other's*' body parts?"

"No.  Sure.  Go right ahead."

 

It's a strange world.  I believe they were trying to get a new picture to send like a plague (virus can be treatable) on cellphones -- a bad chain message, "pass it on and spread the pain"

 

There were some women unknown to me down there that I would have loved to photograph ... starting with their faces--the cheeks people see more commonly

 

* significant other being girl/boyfried, spouse, fiance--or some other relation

end of the festival

Although I got hosed on parking, I was offered free water and most of the travel was quiet, some happy faces.  The superwet kids returning from the fountain were wet, tired and likely going to fall asleep before the fireworks -- regardless the noise.

Movies and a new analogy: fecal or fan

As I watched CG-heavy King Kong and was repulsed by its ugliness rather than "beauty" of animation.  That movie was bad.  I think I've come up with a new anaalogy:

some movies are the proverbial fan of "Well, the sh*t really hit the fan today!"; other movies are the fecal matter; still others go above and beyond and take both roles.

 

I'm guessing that Rocky VI (or 6-pack of ideas, in that after one 6-pack in an hour, the ideas were flowing like uric acid) is both fan and fecal, whereas King Kong was fecal

If you want really bad 50's-esque monster horror movies, you'll need cable to see Sci-Fi original pictures with CG, but 50's writing.

 

Sound of one hand clapping

A while ago, I used a phrase I thought common enough, but it like spilt water.

 

There's, "don't cry over spilt milk", but water generates even less of a reaction.  After my comment "disappeared like a fart in the wind"*1, I saw that people areound were looking "as if I had lobsters crawling out of my ears."*2.  I suppose that I should just use English or "just use the keyboard".

 

No one understands you when you speak a confusing 'tongue', while the speaker expects you know.  I guess it's like people approaching you about a band or group assuming that you know all about it or them.  Nope, no idea, no clue.  This would be like Black-Eyed Peas, which was 'regrouped' from Easy-E++.  I don't see the connection, but that's wikipedia.  Easy-E, of course, I could use around friends as a phrase for one-upping 2-Live Crew and surpassing all in early Gangster Rap.  When your "song" is about grabbing a prostitute off the street, raping her in the car, killing her, then dropping the body on the street, you'd think that it couldn't get worse.  I was wrong.

 

I'm kinda wonderin', since I didn't want to hear anything after that, was how could you get a woman to get into the group and "sing".  That baffles me.  Somehow, I think there's missing data.

 

*1 Shawshank Redeptions

*2 Christmas Story

 

++ according to one addition to wikipedia, Easy-E died from his AIDS condition.  How ironic that a man proclaiming evil, condoning evil, died from recklessness -- a slow, agonizing death for most.  My one hand clapping is for the irony here ... dead from evil