smoker

a guy with big, bushy hair was sitting, idly watching another person bowl, when he instinctively put his had to his head. The hand held a cigarette which was, of course, hot enough to heat the bountiful hair. TS noticed this and shouted to him, "Larry, your hair's on fire!" He got only a grumble, mumble. "Larry, your hair's on fire!" Grumble, mumble ... huh? He wildly beats at the site of fire in a panic jumping up and down.
Tip: don't have bushy hair or don't smoke.

Ninja bowler

I bowled on a high school league, later at "midnight bowling" with friends. I was never as interested nor intrigued about it as were they. Still, I did bowl and enjoy it when I was in my 20s. I had, to say the least, a poor and quirky style of bowler that caught many people as a guy with the weird stance and throw. Ninja? Why ninja?

On the net today you will see many people who are great fans of Chuck Norris. I too, WAS a Chuck Norris film fan, never having an opinion on the man himself. Granted he's in better shape than I have ever been and will ever be, but I don't watch his work any more.
Anyway ... never having had any training didn't stop me from kicking and punching in a really random manner, hoping that somehow by freakishly doing so, I too would become martial arts master. Many object died due to my perspective. Glasses were smashed onto the ground with my childish thought that with enough speed, a cup would be gravitationally attached to my hand as I rotated it at great speeds. Nope. I spun my hand and it dropped ... shattered, having served its matyr purpose.

One, funnier epside, sad for the slain objects, was when we were playing pool at MR's house, ISJ decided to pitch a bottle cap unto my head. Although it wasn't my shot, I held onto the cue stick, my mighty weapon -- as it turned it was my mighty weapon. It was told to me that much like the slow-motion in many action movies, they watched the cap flip end-over-end til it reached me. It was luck that it hit me, much less my head.
Now. How would a normal person react to be hit lightly by something? They might look around in wonder. I am not the typical person. Armed with the staff of doom, I swung around slashing and smashing anything within a 2' radius. After the 7 second attack, the pool table had a board off and on the floor; at least one picture from the wall was down and the glass broken; the cue stick shaken, but not broken; the walled were scarred a bit; a can lay dead, gushing its contents onto the carpet.

Uh, why? No one knows. I don't know why either. Quick, impulsive responses ... not ninja like -- just wild, uncontrolled recklessness. I was never a good bowler, never a martial artist, but it made a good title for some one who could destroy a room, without a reason that even he could explain.

ebb and flow of chronic madness

allergies: reactions to environmental factors, either developmental or congenital. Through habituation, toxins can either build up or be more easily blocked by genetic factors, metabolic adaptations or time-specific changes. Alcohol, for well-seasoned drinkers has a smaller symptomatic affect, whereas intermittant or non-drinkers react, in accordance to their specific absortions and metabolism, more dramatically and generally faster. Moreover, environmental factors, unrelated to voluntary consumption, is more critical to address.

In my experience I have a few notable strong allergies. Fully recognizing them and identifying symptomology and characteristic changes took many years better understand. First: smoke, addressing first smoke from cigarettes. I would surmise that tobacco itself is a key allergy for me, but more over, the many, many chemicals consistant with cigarettes (I presume American -- as I don't think I've had much experience otherwise) either sigularly or in combinations with themselves or environmentally -- higher oxygen or nitrogen levels, etc.

My primary reactions and sympotomology to exposure are: sinus pressure (I believe habituation has prompted my body to predictable responses such as accelerated mucus production), over-stimulation of salavary glands, tear ducts, and generalized shortness of breath. Certainly not to test this hypothosis, but rather out of sheer stupidity, I tried smoking a cigarette several times. I was told I was not doing it right, for I was not breathing in the smoke, but rather leaving it puffed out like oral-borne halitosis. I took a, and only one, puff inhalation. I found out then what nastiness was. I thought eating bugs would be finer. I turned green, spit gray into the sink for 3 solid minutes. I had an instant headache and was thereafter nausiated. Wow! I could could have tried that until I got over that period of habituation ... no thanks.
I also tried smoking a pipe, which I did choose for the reasons of stupidity, fond memories of my uncle's pipe smoking (it had a nice aroma) and because it was less foul smelling than cigarettes. I also was not inclined to inhale the smoke. This produced some interesting, but longer lasting effects. I had an impaired voice for 8-18 hours after exposure. I had mildly-blurred vision for 4-6 hours. My sense of taste was negliable. Despite drinking gallons of water (yes gallson, for through habitiuation I am able to drink 1.5 liters in one long drink), my thirst was never quenched. Because my vision was faulty, my coordination was at fault as well. My smoking days were thankfully short-lived, being around 9-14 months.

Alcohol, another common toxin, with which I have had much experience I can list any number of reactions that are (apart from over-indulgence yielding vomitting and dehydration):
two beers (24 oz total) -- general sleepiness
tequilla straight -- aggression (free-floating anger)
wine -- giddiness, hyperactivity (geometic escalation)
rum -- like wine, but expotential ascalation
schnapps -- restlessness, dehydration, non-cognitive responses
kaluha -- hyperactivity, aggression, non-cognitive responses
sherry -- non-cognitive responses, sleepiness, unemotive rude responses
mead -- like wine, but to a lesser degree, mixed with sinus pressure and capillary spams

Many peopel over the globe love chocolate. I'm sure, at some point I loved it too. Perhaps more importantly, I recognized my allergy to this. It affects me much like some people react to cocaine -- mild euphoria mixed with hyperactivity, impulsivity, at times -- rudeness and aggression with little/no provocation. For this reason, I do not partake in chocolate, as it doesn't mix with company. Secondary reactions to this are cranio-facial muscular "tics", regional capillary spams, adrenaline overexpression, tunnel-vision diminshment of olfaction and delay of auditory simuli.

As for my general madness, I account for it by adatption to environmental, both voluntary and involuntary consumption / exposure and asocial psyche, denying rationale behind avoidance. Moreover, acceptence of general delusional feelings, auto-developed and chemical specific. Simply stated: I learned to cope with reality and fiction (reality with toxins) in a self-preserving way, so that self-preservation was foremost above conscious of others.

Now, reflecting, I can see (20/20) the many asocial responses that have developed me into what I was and am. I, hopefuly am developing new responses and reactions to reality more consistent with social cognition, than that of perfunctory and impulsive ones. It's strange then, that I, an immoral and asocial person, should choose a profession that would require those traits that I have chosen -- so many years -- to deny and abolish within myself.

[in comes the tide of sanity -- surely to go out again]

"Friction"

Lori's funny critique of my statement of always being hot when in bed -- to be sleeping.

"I can't sleep at night ... I'm always hot!"

"Friction will do that", said Lori. Her implication was that since I had no bedmate (girlfriend or wife) that the "heat" must be from some other under-the-covers action.

Very funny! Thanks!

scrubbing bubbles

Tonight I found myself at the scene of an unwritten play -- staring Rescue Rangers in a pedestal sink with bubbles. They pitched each other into the water, then "bad guys", then went searching for tutrles and fish. Sadly, Orange Guy always had the misfortune of the torrent of conical rain dashed upon him when he tried to resurface. A reounding laughter of the contoller shook the basin itself.

"No! Wait til he gets to his feet, then drop the rock on him!" -- Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

Bubbles ... outside ... in 25 degree weather ... yes! Also, thankfully, the short term of this as the cold cement was nasty on the tookas.

This was followed by Stooges ... and attempted squashings.

For dinner --- 4 different stops ... KFC, McDonalds, Taco Bell, and Coffee shop

There are some things in life that you can't buy --- like your time, for everything else ... there's your salary.

"I love you, Marcus" -- can't be bought --- thankfully, I earned it!

Max

As in maximum. Max Payne ... in loading, in waiting, in unskippable movies ... in keeping settings (re-setting POV when on stairs). Max (imum) Payne in the ___.

Darn you Cerpicio!!!!

I've a song in my head all day because you! It's a very funny one, mind you, but I hoped other thoughts might enter my mind as well!

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5430343841227974645&q=what+internet+is+for

Extremely funny the first time!

funny child quote

The game actually exists:

http://www.addictinggames.com/monkey.html

His quote while on the internet was, "Spank the monkey! That's my favorite game!"

Looking for Lenny Bruce

If anyone has Mask Man aka Thank you Mask Man, please let me know. I have been looking for it for a while to put on DVD. I found no legitimate seller -- only those selling a dupicated (rough) copy thrown onto DVD for $15 not including shipping.
“Bull____ man! That was the deal! You said I could have anything I want … that’s what I want!”

...

Mind you, moose bites can be quite painful.


The parties responsible for using fewer quotations have been sacked. Those responsible for sacking those people, have also been sacked.

the term, "Fathering"

is usually wrongly used. Too often people view fathers as those that contribute genetic material.

In my previous entry I mentioned -- insulted, Lost, for it's shortcomings. I read a blurb on Naveen Andrews "
'Lost' star admits fathering child while separated from Barbara Hershey". That is more urban vernacular. Lions sire cubs, often killing other cubs either his own or others to get the lioness into estris. That guy doesn't smell like my spermazoa [mauling of cub]. This concept of siring as many his-scented youth as possible is urban fathering.

If only America could wake up a bit and turn on the "mental gears". I could throw money at a situation or I could involve myself in it and help it. Siring and then paying some money to the "mother" for the child (ren) is much like throwing money at a so-called problem. Invest yourself in it -- be the solution -- or the father, bringing to it your values, your input, your goals to make life what it should be.

Male lions in a pride generally don't hunt (not providers), take their share first, and (aforementioned) with cubs. They serve a protective role at times, but are generally not integral to the life of the pride. I was very fortunate in having a father who raised me. I am also from a family of non-divorced parents. This didn't prevent me from divorcing, but I "sired" no children and had I done so -- a difficult life they would have had no matter how much effort I put forth -- save being granted full and sole custody. Even that would have had its consequences.

Think, before you sire. A pack of your gene-filled people shouldn't fill you with pride if you have done nothing to bring them to be who they could be -- raising and fathering.

--please end--

Lost in Complaining

I have a limited interest in the show, Lost. I asked a friend about it to find out that they don't have a new episode yet -- 4 weeks, no new show. Gosh! That's gotta be hard, working there in uncomfortable Hawaii with nothing to do. I can see why it would be difficult to get the cast back to Hawaii to do more shooting.
"Hey, no! I'm staying here in Flint, Michigan, pushing out snow, thanks. Later this week I'm going to ultra-rural Saskatewan* and start building a house."

"Get on with it!" -- M Python
"Of course, I could be wrong you know." -- Bugs, WB
"Wrong? Wrong?! You ain't never been right!" -- Platoon

Anyway. I got this idea for a show about a mysterious torpical island. On it there are polar bears, company controlled / made sharks, hidden research bunkers, supposedly-derranged inhabitants, grayish invisibeats. There are hints to other mysteries and the Pennsylvania-sized island can't be found by any known technological means.

Okay... sounds good. What do you have so far. I have two scenes with a bear, four scenes with the invisibeast, 4 seconds of the shark.

What else?

I have great stories about people on the island, before they were there, including stories about characters of the 40 some that I just kill off anyway.

ummm ... okay. Anything else?

They now play golf on the untamed and dangerous island and heroin is available.

Uh, okay. So, [a sourness in his face, he directs attention to another person at the table], you had a new version of Three's Company in mind?

* Sassparilla, sassafras, Sesame? Hasann chop!

Kari Byron -- again

What I could find was that she is a sculpter -- apparently a good (or renown) one from Frisco and a vegetarian. So far, that's not a lot of info.

comedy of vocation

Education is a great resource for humor. Yesterday I was asked if they could do, individual work together. My answer was no, but I was reminded of, "Let's be independant together". Thanks Herbie!

watching TV

I'm not known for my love of movies or TV. I haven't liked sit-coms in a llllllloooooooooonnnnnnnnnnggggggg time. That being the case, I sometimes find a show that I do like. I used to like Discovery Channel, until it and it's compadre's: History, TLC, Animal Planet, etc. decided that everyone would love to have a program they are watching blocked out -- sometimes up to 25% by USELESS animations of their other shows. I thought the corner label on the programs were bad -- thanks T Turner for starting that! Coupled with that are the commercial break so long that I often change the channel, forgetting that I was once watching Discovery or whatever. My criping aside.

I got to see Mythbusters, which can be entertaining. Sometimes it is more like idea ADHD -- are you planning on completing any ideas here? I like the ideas. I have become captivated by Kari Byron, about whom little information seems available.

She seems practical, comical and clever. When I saw her smile, that's what captured my attention. [drone on here concerning interest]

The same channel that does this includes a show with Jessie James something, who contributes to building various one-time things. I couldn't bear to watch the show anymore, as his personality is grating and his happy recalling of childhood violence towards others including a neighbor boy whom he claimed to have happily choked (implying to a painful degree). This guy has a son. I would hestitate to call him a father as that is a person who raises their child to be an adult capable of existing in the world -- hopefully, sans prison/jail.

What's another really bad idea from this group ... Growing Uo Gotti. Hey! Let's focus on a family whose criminal activity, either theirs or other family memebers who have a lot of money. Let's help those watching become complacent with the mafia and criminals. Yes! Let's copy HBO with their ideas of Sopranos and OZ with violence, evil, raping, killing, drugs, abuse (of many forms). Now that's entertainment. I guess if Eninem is still popular with songs of putting GHB into drinks to rape women and his lyrics stating his desire for a woman to do whatever, whenever, in perpetuity -- these will be the standard.

Not to me.

Returning to Mythbusters ... violence is either to Buster -- a disintigrating dummy with variable insturment chasis, Black Adder, or to the two would-be investigators who welcome their own doom on some occasions.

Fargen Bastages!

[please note that some of the bantering gets windy and verb tenses do not conform to standard English]

A couple of weeks ago I heard that phrase. It's from a movie either you saw or didn't see. I doubt that you would forget some of the memorable lines from Johnny Dangerously. That being the case, let me explain my mild dis-satisfaction.
Who are the fargen bastages? They are the winds that direct your kite to the ground, thirty people at the gas station who all enter the store buying cigarettes and chatting with people rather than move their cars, people calling not knowing who you are, people who drive SUVs who couldn't park a paper airplane in a parking spot much less their wide vehicle like their wide butts. Also, I dispise notices that you'll get more notices (much like someone calling to let you know that they are going to call).

Are these people antagonists or speed bumps? Perhaps they are neither, but actors who are unaware that their are others in the play. They are so focussed on completing their goals that all others be damned! I see this at all ages and in most places. How many times have you appraoched a door, following someone within 8 feet and yet they close the door behind them. Are they truly that unaware that there is some one behind them?

Emoticons: when you really, really, really can't just type a nice word or phrase. Is that wasteful or laziness? I think both. It is one thing to use it in messaging when you are typing slower to several people than you could possibly talk to them, but in letters that you are already typing? What's the point?

I find anger venting is helpful. I like to play games where I can perpetrate fictional violence, especially with guns. I don't and won't own a gun, but it's great relief to exterminate a bad egg on a game. There are a few games that are designed for track motion and you hit "evil men". Concluding one game, I gave stats on targets hit and shots fired. The disperarity prompted, "Are you angry?" I wasn't a poor shot, but rather emptied at least one clip or series of six shots into each target when possible. 80%+ were face / head shots. Giving six shots in the head before the target falls is impossible, so the fictional part is great.

"... may they all get lead poisoning", Eddie Valiant, Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

What the day held

promise of a new day! It kept dreaming of waking, doing something, realizing it was 10 minutes early then resting again. I was never right on the time. My teaching went fairly well and there were no real problems.

A growing concern I have is for the random "unavailable number" calls I'm getting. As I put my cell phone number on the no-call list, I should think that I would not get pestered. I didn't donate to anyone last year -- no money to do so, so I hope to get fewer calls this year.

A charity, Paralyzed Hoosier Veterans Association is a nice cause, but they are misinforming those whom they solicit, in that their chapter hasn't donated to Spinal Cord Research for 20 some years -- their claim to fame. I got some interesting runaround from the man who called me this year. He called me days after the local paper reported their misinforming.

"We don't control everything that every chapter says."

Really? Don't they read a prompt? I hardly believe that they have all the figures, dates, times in their heads -- highly unlikely. I also thought that they ought to at least make a sound retraction about how much and when they donated to the spinal cord research center. This center tried an experimental procedure for connecting nerve tissue, and pocesses for neural growth. Christopher Reeve was the first volunteer. The surgery showed some success. It's original idea was for use within 24 hours of injury. To this date, I don't know of any other successful attempts.

That being said, there is a local group -- not a charity, that does work for the community -- Citizens' Action Coalition. They spend much of their money under-paying people to gather money for the cause. Some -- doubtful much, gets to lawyers to lobby for improvements and protections for citizens from energy industries and the like from unreasonable price hikes and gouging.

Too bad we don't have a federal one to punish the gas companies -- not just oil, but natural gas. If they keep it up, I think the way to go would be Nuclear Power Plants and electric heat. I think Hammond and Gary, IN could be flattened and the Power Plants go there. If you've seen --hopefully at a distance, either city. I think you'll agree.

More names, less informaiton

Sex Offenders databases

https://secure.in.gov/serv/cji_sor

http://www.sexoffender.com/vcinorder.html

http://www.nsopr.gov/

I saw a photo where a neighbor put up a handmade sign on their property pointing to next door with "Child Molester", clearly printed on the sign. That's great! Keep up the good work!

Nice dog

It will be a while before I will forget Sampson entering the van and relegating me to the far back seat. This german shepherd sat in a second row seat as comfortable as he could. Silly boy!

Where some are

http://jordan.fortwayne.com/ns/news/sexoffenders/?send=Search+database

These only show those that are registered. I think the law should read that any non-registered may be shot on sight -- no questions asked. If I were on the jury in the case of a person slaying a known and convicted child molester, I might heavily scrutinize the facts in his/her favor. Okay, okay ... I'd vote not guilty. I cannot condone vigilantism, but would offer lesser punishment for those convicted.

Taxes

MR is historically earlier than I am in filing his taxes. I got a form Saturday and have begun filing. Man, oh, man! I hope to beat in this year. It's my own little race.

Only if you're mad!

One movie that really struck me was Robocop. Yes ... undoubtedly a stupid, yet enjoyable film. The director later went on to make similar-imagry movies like Starship Troopers, Total Recall, and Basic Instict (?). Anyway ... I just thought this morning of a scene from Robocop when he is beating the _____ out of Clarence Boddicker (Kurtwood Smith of That 70s Show -- more funny as a cop-killing drug dealer turns dad). As he's being thrown through 6' tall windows in office spaces he blurts out to Robocop that he works for Dick Jones. I quickly replaced some of the dialogue in my head.

[crash] [slump] [Robocop picks up Clarence by the throat] "I work for Dick Chaney. Dick Chaney! Dick Chaney works for Bush. Bush runs the country!"

[shocked look over Clarence's face as he's being killed]
[Rococop stops choking him]

If you haven't seen this brutal movie, which apparently was edited to get it to "R", it's quotable. The director apparently had the concept of making it so violent that it was comical. I'd like to see the original!

quotes:

"It's a sophisticated bang bang."
"I'd buy that for a dollar!"
"Can you fly, Bobby?"
"I want a really fast car that gets really ____y gas mileage!"
"Nuke 'em! The family game."
"Do you have any advice to kids?" "Stay out of trouble"
"Don't _____ with Jones man! He'll make sushi out of ya."
"I'm sure it's just a glitch." (after ED 209 pumped 100 rounds of 50 calibur bullets into an executive) "A glitch?"
"Somebody call an ambulance!" (same scene, where a rag of a torso lies over a model of "New" Detroit)
"Look at my face DICK!"
"Looks like we'll be partners afterall, Richard."
"You want a cigarette?" "No. Ya know? Those things will kill ya." (shotgun-armed bank robber)

(requires the visual)
"We don't have a safe." "There's your safe!" (kicking down a tower of cans)
(desk sergent talks to officer as she kicks and beats suspect into submission) "When you're done ______ with your suspect, I have something for you."
(strip mall building explodes after being shot with "sophisticated bang bang") Paul McCrane of ER states excitedly, "I like it!"
"You burned the money! You burned the _________ money!" (incinerated bills from bank heist)

VD XP, thankfully not for me!

Mum and I were discussing he-who-shall-not-be-named and his known V.D. With his wonderful choice of "partners", he apparently is collecting them. I know only, through the folks and his mother which one he already had. The new ones are unknown to me. One way to stop getting them would be to say:
use protection or better still
choose different person and use protection
Will he-who-shall-not-be-named do either?

[Eight ball shaking]

My sources say no.

On the lighter side, perhaps they will terminate him faster than the time-traveling terminator I ordered. I got a notice oddly post-dated ... on back order

Game

Charlie got me a game for Christmas -- technically, many games. One of them was Wild Gun Man, which was made by Nintendo like Hogan's Alley. Why does any of that matter?

First: I thought that it was difficult in the arcade. It was, but not because of the limited time that it gave, but rather in that the cord for the light gun was too short. Even in this game, which is infinately better than the older NES & SNES games, it has problems with angular screens. Flat screens -- most new TVs, should be perfect.

Second: I believe that Back to the Future III made mention of either of these games as to why Marty was so fast on the '80s theme restaraunt arcade game. The kid in the movie was, unimpressed. I can think of few home light gun games now. If you had them they would have to be either, static or track driven -- offering no movement with the loose controller.

[blam] [blam] [blam] ... I'll be shootin' for ya! On Wild Gun Man ... some fall back dead, others down, and a couple lose hats and pants during gun battles.

Rip and Tear!

Charlie loves to sword battle and battle evil robots, sometimes those with cloaking / invisibiity technologies.

picture c/o Lucasfilms

stolen from Monkeyjack

In the course of that great battle, my demins suffered a great fatality. They were old and were torn at the groin.
"A hit! A very powerful hit" (blood spurts and shoots from a throat wound)

Try me

MR sent this to me. He was at the library and found an enticing sign from a clearly reputable and competent person offering services.

"Attornie", that spells, "don't trust this".

Another concert

this one was held at the cafeteria of the high school -- not great accoustics and the sound mixing was unclean. During the songs the choir sang a Mondonna montage (poor taste, if you ask me) and later Janet Jackson. Thankfully the girls didn't have a costume malfunction.

An interesting thing to note: while parent were there, he told the choir to sshh ... and denoted their talking -- not good. My neice might be right about him being an ass.

One of the two choirs had twister costumes --- rectangles yellow, red, green, blue. There were plastic in appearance. Sadly, this fell under the problem of a mix of persons: Calista Flockhart (dangerously thin to Kathy Najimy- like).

I thought Austin Powers

Hey Jealousy!

I was at friends' house last night. Charlie wanted to play -- and play anything. I convinced him to end our sword play in favor of another game. He chose a butterfly game -- ejected from an elephant's trunk. While Keith, Charlie and I were playing that, Sid (dog) got jealous and wanted Keith's attention -- tug rope.

She gave up then sat on her butt -- not common for her, and was by me. While I was trying to catch butterflies and scratch her chest, Charlie, who was similtaneously watching TV stopped playing butterflies and hopped onto my back.

What I really need to be is a shape shifter, so that I quickly grow addtional arms and legs and perhaps a conjoined body to play with two at the same time. Those two not wanting to share my attention.

Snoring

I don't like to post about X, but I just thought of something.

Have you ever had a mate who's snoring disables your sleep? In my case, she was snoring loudly enough to make it difficult to sleep. I evilly woke her -- slightly, then quickly fell asleep.

If need be -- tickle, stroke, jar -- do something, to arouse them so that you can sleep.

Why write this? I saw a little comic about a couple sleeping -- it reminded me.

One person's terrible Christmas

I was setting out trash when I saw a man walking late that night. I knew that he lived a couple of streets away. He was remarkable because he had a Great Pyrenees. I asked him how he was, Dec. 27th 2005. He was terrible, a cursory response. I asked if he could tell me.

I don't know where he worked, but he told me the following sad story. Wherever he worked, one night packed up all their things and moved out of the building. When he went to work -- there was no company there. Bad news. He filed for unemployment, but they reported to him that whomever he worked for didn't file ANY taxes, including his, despite his paychecks indicating to the contrary.

Because he was no longer getting paid, his mortgage / rent was missing, and continued to be so. The mortgage company told him they were going to foreclose. The owner mentioned to him that he could stay in the house until they found a new tennet / purchaser. Some time later, they found some one who threw out -- in the trash everything in the house.

So there he is ... no money, no job, no car.

On Christmas 25th ... his dog died.

He remarked to me that he was alive. That's one thing. Things couldn't hardly get worse.

It's nice for me to remember that no matter how cruddy things might seem -- they aren't impssible.

The following is true -- in that is what he told me.

Concert

I saw my niece's concert tonight. It was postponed due to weather. They had a band performance and three choirs sing in around one hour. Why can't they be that efficient during a regular session? Granted, they probably didn't sing as many songs, but my word -- pay-at-pump fast there, I tell you!

My niece has nothing nice to say about the director, who is a two-faced buffoon ... yelling when out of earshot of other adults -- according to her. She'll graduate in May and be on her way to be a Vet -- maybe.

Although they were quite talented, by far their best -- recordable was Carol of the Bells, which had crystal tonality and range modulations generally found on re-mastered works (baritones briefly raised above high sopranos).

Badges! We don't need no stinking badges!

Ah. I think it was Dana Carvey who remarked in a monologue that if you're 0ver 18 and you're stilling wearing a name badge, you probably have the wrong job. I like my job, but the fact that kids walk up to me and are delighted to read my first name -- a tabboo in professionalism, perhaps he was right.

I have heard:
That's a cool name!
My cousin's name is ....
I like that name.

Some wit and wisdom of Mr. Mystery Guest

"Keith [stated as a long slurred word]. Tell Todd I'm gonna kill him!" after guzling a gallon of so-called kamikazees, which were 70% vodka (on average).

"I stopped a robbery at Walgreens. You see there was this guy with a gun. I used my electrical powers to stop him."
"You mean you shocked him?"
"No. I heated the gun and he had to drop it."

"The Yankees suck!" followed by his own, and only laughter.

"I'm just a loud peein' fool!" (sung)

(after puking) "Oh man! I didn't even eat Taco Bell!"

"You're the only woman I ever slept with!"

"Get that camera out of my face! _____ paparattzi! Every shot you have of me, I have some ______ thing sticking out of my mouth or on my tongue (lip)."

"You left me in Hell! Hell! It smelled so bad. It was like a big, perpetual fart!" in reference to an old job
"This job is bad." a movie quote used to describe this same job

"That's Easy-E!" when asked what he chose to hear on headphones. I listened and heard, "I need three holes when I want to _____" Charming

"Hey, I got this joke ... " (If only I were allowed to blank it out of my mind). Apparently / hopefully he was out of his mind when he told this terrible so-called joke that is so much unlike him. I won't finish his statement!

"I was a navy seal. I had to register my hands as lethal weapons downtown." Not a successful come-on line to ladies at the bar.

"I hope you have a (mystery guest's name) room. I need to sleep."
"You don't turn the lights off on a drunk man! What are you thinking!" shouted

Great truism for some ... insult for others

autocoprophagicmania

Cute lines

"You're not a monster; you're just dirty." -- Bubbles

"I would like eleven lumps of sugar, please."
"You don't need eleven lumps of sugar."
"I'm a monster. I'm not sweet enough."

-- Little Bear cartoon

I thought of that because of my nieces.
.....
In other news ... a cult favorite goes on to another generation. My nieces and nephews have watched more than once, Monty Python's Holy Grail. I remember I showed them one time the vorpal rabbit scene. Thereafter, they watch it.
Maybe the 70s weren't too bad.

Microsoft has encounterd an error

Right now I'm telling the computer (and Microsoft) exactly what it can do with the chocolate (and my fist).

What error?

I typed something funny?

It's okay

"It's okay Mr. Holloway, I already got my nose (for you).", a response when I asked if I should get one student's nose. I guess, I'm predictable.

"Tag! You're it!", expecting the man-figure to run and chase him. I have played tag on occasion, but generally my attention needs to be focussed on the group. In this case, it was a wonderful warm day with adults vacating their blistering, unconditioned rooms for a change.

Ah ... the age when farts are funny and not shameful and where homework isn't five hours long.

Homework: "My baby sister chewed on it." It did look indeed just like that.
"I don't have it." Hours later, at the end of the day. "Here it is!"
"Can I use your pencil?" Still ... a different pencil is magical -- a nice, youthful perspective.
"I can't do it!" Stand here beside me for the rest of the day and watch me work. I want all of your attention.
"Mr. Hollywood." Close. "Mr. K?" Again, close.
"Haven't I seen you in movies?" No. The money would be nice though.
"They're not taking turns." Ah, if life were only this complex.
"Hey! Now that makes sense!" What a teacher really wants to hear. A person, student or other, getting a concept.
"Will you be my Daddy." "I can't do that." "Daddy!" "No. Don't you already have a daddy?" "Yes. But I want you. Daddy." I'll just hope that she drops this line of thinking.

"What about God?" "I can't talk about that."
"What is AIDS?"
"My mommy and daddy yell a lot"
"Our house has holes. My daddy does too. Right here (pointing to left abdomenal wall indicating a through-and-through puncture -- gunshot). Don't touch it."
"I have a dog! He died. I had (goes on to tell about 20 + dogs -- all dead)."
"You look tired. Did you sleep well last night?" "I didn't sleep good. My brother kept moving." "You sleep with your brother?" "Yeah. And my sister and my mom and my dad." They had only one bed
"Mister!" "Mr. Holloway." "Can I call you Mr. H.?" "Yes." "Mister, do you like pizza?"

"I want to you write a letter to Wilbur." The students were around mid-way through Charolette's Web. "Dear Wilbur, I sure do like you ... with toast, butter ... bacon ... ham. You're tasty." a third grader really made me laugh with that one. It was unexpected and I laughed, perhaps, too loud.

"My mom eats in the bathtub." The students in a different third grade class were assigned to write what odd things their parents do. It was NOT meant as an investigation tool. I tried to blank out from my mind the students who wrote these. This student went on to say that she brought in fruit to wash and did so in the tub.
"My mom and dad walk around naked all the time."
"They were funny socks."
"They eat asparagus."
"My mom sings in the bathroom." "You mean in the shower." "No; in the bathroom."
"My dad eats in the nude."

Now ... you can't take all of that as accurate ... it is, however interesting.

"What do you do?" "What?" "Where do you work?" a student asks me in class. Apparently teaching isn't a job?

While instructions on a worksheet were a little unclear ... my first attempt was to complete every possible combination. Mark a number between 28-34, etc, until the instructions were done. The teacher's guide then remakred, "ask students what they see on their worksheet." It made sense that each student should have a different combination of boxes marked. I then marked only one square for each, as did the other students. I came up with a sloppy looking thing. Rorschach test result: "duck on a stick" which was much better than the real answer ... makring every possible combination ... a robot. There was no other realistic answer. Teachers can make errors too. A good example for kids that if you make an error, recognize it, work with it ... grow.

Dear Disney

[Ja Rule] Woo, ha ha right back at ya.. it's the world's most talented record label Murder Inc. And that angelic voice you hear in the backround, oh that's our new princess of Hip Hop in R&B yo Miss Ashanti.

Murder, Inc. Nothing says family like murder, right? Did you think about this before you cast her as Dorothy -- young naive, innocent child cast into fantasy world where she must be adult?

"Fight (Over Skit)"[Ashanti:] Yo, we need to talk[Guy:] Here we go again. What we need to talk about man?[Ashanti:] We need to talk about us and what's going on.[Guy:] Yea that's what we need to talk about?[Ashanti:] You know, I've been thinking. I don't, I don't think I'm gonna be able to forgive and forget all this shit you'vebeen doing.This just aint working out.[Guy:] Yea,you know you've been thinking, you know I've been thinking too, you know what I've been thinking. I've been thinking the person that I got with aint standing in front of me. You done did a whole flipand changed on a nigga man.[Ashanti:] Yea well guess what? You done changed. You know all this shit you've been doing. You know, how you expect me to bethe same person. I'm not the same person. Why? Cause of the shit you've been doing.[Guy:] So what the fuck you saying man?[Ashanti:] What am I saying?[Guy:] Yea. What the fuck are you saying?![Ashanti:] I'm saying: IT'S OVER!

Nice course language. That's what we need! She's perfect for the role of Dorothy.

If you don't know how to cast for roles ... don't do it.

Movies (brief complaining)

Peter Jackson. I'm sure he's a good, perhaps great director, but oi! Can you imagine if he teamed up with Oliver Stone to do ANY story?

Jackson Stone productions presents, "Bay of Pigs". Rated R, 4.5 hours. Now of DVD with 76 days of rare footage. Uh ... guys! The actual time of the crisis wasn't that long. Buy the DVDs today ... 5 DVDs per week for the next year.

Have you ever thought that maybe ... just maybe ... a movie could be 90 - 100 minutes and accomplish it's goals, tell a whole story, and be a complete thought?

We could throw in Michael Bay, who did Pearl Harbor, for a longer movie. What Bay of Pigs really needs are unrelated subplots and a romance that's irrelevant and unimportant to anything.
Starring:
Kevin Costner of Waterworld, lending his directorial expertise
Keanu Reeves as J. F. K.
Hayden Christianson as young J. F. K.
Joseph Mazzello as older, but still younger-than president J. F. K.
Lizzie McGuire as Jackie Kennedy
Ray Park as the super-killing machine Castro
Robin Williams (shown as more-professional speech-making Castro)
Chuck Norris as the one-of-two-man killing machine of the US special forces
Stephen Segal as the one-of-two-man killing machine of the US special forces
Jean Claude Van Dam as a Cuban Resistance fighter
Harry Melling as Khrushchev
Wesley Snipes thrown in for whatever
Jessica Simpson thrown in for window dressing
Paris Hilton as Marilyn Monroe

Sounds more a Police Squad movie ... where's Leslie Nielsen?

Ignorance

time was 1985. Yngwie Malmsteen was in the new rock CDs. With a name like that I never would have thought he was a rocker. He is a clever and inventive guitarist, much like Hendrix was. At that time I would have thought it was in the wrong place, deserving more to be with pan-flute fluff from Yani. I was at a mall, in Musicland playing an activision game when a kid came up next to me. I didn't care. I had recently bought a bag of small cookies from Original Cookie Co., and munched on a few while feverishly playing some simple game.

"Gimme cookie."
"Huh?"
"Gimme cookie", was the repeated statement. By this time I had looked at the boy who simply looked at me. I handed him one, though I was a little aghast. I was and am a suburbanite, knowing little of urban culture. I generally wouldn't have asked a stranger for anything, let alone commanded it. I guess, "gimme" means, "Please. I know you don't know who I am, but you have some extra. May I please have one of those, as you seem like a nice person and have more than one."

To further describe my ignorance: In middle school there was a boy who had, "a bad acid trip", so he was not in school for a long while. I thought that he was a junior chemist who had sadly spilled inobtainable strong acid on himself, burning and scarring himself. Where was my head -- not on drugs. Thankfully, it still isn't. Apart from alcohol, I have miraculously come through life drug free.

I was at a friends' house when a neighbor came over to introduce us to LCR. While playing, we were of course, talking. He mentioned that he only-recently heard of an urban legend of an injury due to stupidity. Apparently there was some sort of straw injury to the nose. I won't say any more, but was explained the term, "shrimping". To this day I wish I had been out of the room to be happy and ignorant about that. EWWWWW!
Scarred I am.

Terminator

Two of my brothers-in-law and I were talking about movies ... generally picking on them. Tony and I were discussing time travel -- and the inherent problems with making it into a concept where you could change the future. In our discussion, we talked about two more commonly referencable films: Back to the Future and Terminator. Terminator was, perhaps, more worthy of discussion.

At the end of it, Tony found he had a better appreciation for Terminator, in that the protagonist mother at the end is clearly describing Reece to her unborn son, to send that particular person back in time to "facilitate" the future ... i.e.: if you wanna live (be conceived) you gotta send back this guy. Thank goodness he wasn't a barbaric ass, eh?

It's good to talk about older movies ... BTW: Terminator, 1982
Are you old yet? I am.

"They are my people. I love them. Pull! [blam]!"
"It's good to be king."

How some people become carpenters

I have loose stool today.
I have hard stool today.
I'm taking something for a regular stool today.

Hey! I don't want to hear about stools unless you're building one out of wood.

How it works

As a sub, there are three similtaneous systems running seeking people for places. There is an internet service posting slots for filling. This is linked to a phone service that calls people about these same positions. The sub office itself receives calls and makes them, trying to fill places. This is all for substitute teaching.

How it fails:
I got a call today from the phone service ... answered it, "I'm sorry. The job I called you about is no longer available. Goodbye." Since the calls may start at 5:00 am (times available to call can be changed), being called only to find out that it isn't available, doesn't start you off to a good morning.
Internet service working, but phone not ... or phone working and internet not working.
Internet and phone are working, but don't show same offerings.
The internet is based on a database that may be out of date. Sometimes teachers shift from grade levels or to schools. I have found that sometimes, the listing is for the wrong grade. Why does that matter? Imagine going in to work with stuff for Kindergarten (often two half days), but instead, having 5th grade. Yes, this has happened. More often it is that the teacher shifted 1-2 grades or has changed to a "resource teacher" who doesn't have a room and has a hap-hazard schedule that is unclear.

Small smattering of statements

"I didn't fart today!" by Ana. Well, you can't fault someone from having goals.

"Yeah. He has three sisters; that's why he's gay." by Dave. I remarked to him that I have three sisters, and yet I am not gay. Am I then the exception or the rule?

"Add Clooney to resemble My Three Sons" by Tony. I sent what IMDb had on Indiana Jones 4 (yes, they're making it. Scary, huh?).

There was a student who chose an interesting nickname, and made that her name card on her desk, Queen B. I doubt that she understood the usual use of the demeaning term.

Now Entering Madness 6

in reflection of Boondocks ... I thought of this

What's worse than Family Guy?

Boondocks. I despise the comic -- the last time I read it was years ago. Now they have it on Cartoon Network. What's funny about Santa being visciously attacked by a pre-teen armed with a golf club?

Oh, wait ... I've got it now; absolutely nothing!

Wacky & Stupid

Hey! You lied to me. So did you. And you did too!

Luke in heaven confronts all the poeple he knew.

Navigator on a spice freighter? Don't they have computers for that? -- c/o Uncle Owen
Obi Wan has taught you well. Well, no he hasn't. I killed him early, then you couldn't do half the things the REAL jedi could do, let alone the Sith. Man! See what happens when a father isn't there to raise the child? -- c/o Vader / Ani
Yoda, you can't die. Twilight is upon me. Oh wait ... that's right. You'll see me later in an asteral form. Yeah ... not dying. You were right. -- c/o Yoda
Oh ... and Yoda didn't train me -- c/o Obi Wan
You're the best kisser. Hey! Give me a break. I knew there was something odd. Did you know we were related? I just remember images of my mother really. She was sad. Okay ... I never saw a picture of her. -- c/o Leia

Olympics 2006

I made an assignment for the kids to create a new Winter Olympic sport. Many of them didn't know ANY olympic sport. So sad! I did mention that there was nearly every conceivable skiing and skating event imaginable. I remember watching some olympics when I was young. Later, I grew quickly tired of it. With the mindblowing corruption of exchanging medals by the judges, I hope that they have a better criteria for judge selection this time and thereafter.

I personally like to watch Judo, but it's usually on at a time when I'm not awake or not around. I should just bring myself to tape it. I don't watch enough TV to warrant getting a TiVO.

Today finds me

at work again ... late call for a teacher who went into work ill. The class was okay ... bit squirrely after being off so long -- go figure.

He-who-shall-not-be-named is getting evicted due to noises and distrubances. My sister came in and told not too-unclear details of his exploits. He went into the G.P., M. D. to report problems and obsservations RE: V. D. His girlfriend apparently is adding to his collection. During this time, my mother was listening -- could take no more and left. My father has a soft spot for he-who-shall-not-be-named, and is blind-sided by that. I personally haven't like the thing in a long time.

He-who-shall-not-be-named has the nerve to berrate his mother (my sister) then ask -- more like, demand -- I want ... I gotta have ... I need ...

There really is open season on He-who-shall-not-be-named. Anyone without a more dilema concerning removal of decayed matter should contact me on this matter. If He-who-shall-not-be-named could be relocated to say ... Guatamala / Mongolia that would work just fine too.

My sister anticipates He-who-shall-not-be-named being arrested before she needs to find new housing for him. I hope that's true. It will be the beginning of a happier chapter for the family. All He-who-shall-not-be-named is destroy, damage and corrupt. It will be good to see He-who-shall-not-be-named gone away.

On a happier note: Charlie apparently misses me. I miss him as well. I hope to see him this week.
While at school I was also asked to work for another teacher on Thursday. That's great too.

When I tried to reach the teacher from today --- number is no longer in service / disconnected ... uh, oh! That's the number that the school had for the teacher.

My sister, bro-in-law and their two dogs are coming. Our adventure awaits.

Crappy spam

“artistry see consonant oriental balboa some anomie but exclude try besto”
“mainstream in parabolic clown bremen goldstone”

Starting off the Year with a Bang

Combined with wild screaming, the kids ran pell-mell through the cold firing silly string at midnight. Later, they all camped out for a "sleep over" -- sleep was not involved -- in that they were up well til 3 something. I got to hear it all -- lucky me. Jonny thought jumping downstairs would be fun. He smacked straight into the ceiling, nearly giving himself a concussion. That was the bang!

He-who-shall-not-be-named was brought over, much to my disdain. I didn't greet him. I'm glad we were out of there quickly.

Most of the fam went to second mass -- I didn't go to church. Wow! Since I don't regularly attend any church, that really isn't surprising. Most of them came back more weary than they left.
We found out the Jenny eats sauerkraut -- amazing and that the kids needed rest.

[edit this later]

Charlie's first email (to me)

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Sickness and Wealth

Well, Christmas has been here. I put up some new photos from the quick gift unwrapping.

One sister is having a Grinch of a time with her [blank] son. I hope that she can get him on Social Security and end that chapter of everyone's lives.

aw hee - haugh - hee haw -- he haugh
know what I mean? Perhaps -- "phffittrrpptl" or what comes out of a arse! May God have mercy on his soul, for I have no mercy to offer him. I haven't liked that kid for a long, long time. Details, later!

Anyway ... family is here... pretty good time, overall. Happiness is where you find it / pursuit of it.

Love ya all! Happy New Year!

anchors

It's still scary. Mike suggested that the one calling the shots has a particular look and these ladies have the same make up artists / specialists.

Hoda

Rebecca Gomez

previously listed as Liz Camen * as per another site listed her as such

M.R. thank you for your correction

Susan McGinnis

Barnes & Noble

Ah ... getting a membership there has it's priveliges like:
Dear M.,
Why haven't you spent a ton of money with us recently? Here's a coupon good for 15% off A book. Here, great sales on books you and people you know won't read. Buy some over-priced CDs or DVDs.

This coupon expires in 5 days. You'll know, because we'll pester you until you use it. Buy from us now! The power of Barnes compells you! The power of Barnes compells you! [I'm supposed to stop leviatating in anger and drop down and sit at my computer and shop].

We'll mail you, email you, call your friends and have them invite you to Barnes and Noble. We will get your money. If nothing else, we'll take over one of your loans and get it that way.

Uh, people ... I'm just not buying right now. Is that okay?
No!

Buy, buy buy!!! If you don't spend money you don't have, the terrorists win.

ummm, I don't think so.

Scary sameness

Puppets. Do they look strangely similar? I liken it to either: identity preference or thematic ideas like Looker movie. All three are from CNN / HNN

Michele Mitchell

Erica Hill

Robin Meade

closing the chapter

Saying goodbye to Alejandra
10-year-old’s body will be flown to Mexico for funeral
By Amy Soper
asoper@news-sentinel.com
Sobs rose from St. Patrick’s Catholic Church as Emma Gutierrez leaned on the edge of the white casket where her daughter lay Monday morning.
For Gutierrez, it was her first close look at her daughter’s face since Alejandra disappeared Dec. 8. Today, Alejandra’s body is scheduled to be flown to Mexico, where a a funeral service will be held in her birth city of El Cuitzillo, Guanajuato.
Perhaps her mother was remembering seeing Alejandra walk west on Branning Avenue toward the bus stop at Calhoun Street. Perhaps she was remembering the playful screams her daughter made as she romped with younger children. Or perhaps she was remembering the 10-year-old’s dream to finish school and became a nurse or a teacher.
Alejandra’s dreams were cut short by tragedy. Police believe she was raped by Simon Rios and a juvenile before her strangled body was dumped in a Delaware County woods hours after her Dec. 8 abduction. Rios, who already is charged with killing his wife and three children Dec. 13, told authorities he and 17-year-old Juan Rosales abducted Alejandra in his van.
A funeral service for Rios’ wife, Ana Casas, and their three young daughters was held at St. Patrick’s more than a week ago. Whether Alejandra’s disappearance and death were connected to the slayings of Rios’ wife and children is still unknown.
For the Gutierrez’s neighbor, Donnie Foster, Alejandra’s abduction and death is a call to fight for change. The father of an 11-year-old girl, 9-year-old boy and 14-month-old girl, he is lobbying the school district to bring back use of code words. He said if someone tries to pick a child up and doesn’t know the code word, the child would know not to go with that person.
“We can’t see more children like that,” Foster said, pointing to Alejandra’s casket.
Friends, family and others shared their memories of “Alejandrita” and their sorrow as many showed their support for the Gutierrez family.
“I’m Hispanic and I know how close-knit the Hispanic community is,” said Elena Hess, who wiped tears from her eyes after paying her respects at the casket. “I felt it was my duty as a mother and a human being to come.”
Hess said she has a 3-year-old daughter and is saddened by the evil in the world.
Mimi Drewery doesn’t directly know the Gutierrez family, but her niece was a classmate of Alejandra’s.
“I don’t know them personally, but I know them from my heart,” Drewery said. “I belong to the Hispanic community, and she’s just like one of the family.”
Drewery said tragedies such as the recent deaths are unusual in the Hispanic community, which she admitted has its share of ups and downs. She said Alejandra’s death hit her niece hard.
“She knows (Alejandra’s) not coming back,” she said.
How you can help
Friends of the family have established a memorial fund to help pay for expenses connected with Alejandra Gutierrez’s funeral. Deposits can be made to the Alejandra Gutierrez Memorial Fund at any National City Bank branch in Indiana. The Gutierrez family will retain control of the money.
Express your condolences
To express your condolences, go to www.legacy.com/FortWayne, and click on Alejandra Gutierrez’s name.

Short day

My folks got a new fridge -- appliance 3 this year. It was not a good year for appliances.

I also went over to see Charlie and family. Ted was there and we talked a bit while Charlie was riding his new bike -- c/o Ted for Christmas. Apparently, he and Beth went in and dropped their collision coverage on their auto insurance. To their misfortune, 2 weeks later, a kid drove across many lanes and smashed into them, causing $2000 worth of damage. Thankfully, they were unhurt.
State Farm stated that since they didn't have collision coverage, they needed to pay 30% of the deductible -- $700 in their case. My advice, don't use State Farm Auto Insurance.

Mike's annual

Mike's party was a nice one this year. Sadly the gift that would have been entertaining was ... well, labeled wrong -- in that it was a box of controllers, but no game was included. Charlie was a bit put out. I showed him 3 Stooges, one of them anyway ... he appeared to like it.

Mike changed from his typical Peanuts Christmas special, to a mix of different material -- ending in Grinch Who Stole Christmas.

I did a shot this year, which I tend to avoid -- one shot of peppermint schnopps. Thankfully, Keith didn't pour many glasses of Jagger or something wicked like that.

The famous Tammy showed and spoke a while.
Lisa ... hold on to this ... fell asleep. I know, I know that's so unlike ... wait. That's typical.

Christmas funnies 2005

Jenny trips over chair -- uninjured, trying to reach phone call for Jessica. Winter Olympics are in February 2006, we have a good contender here.

A previously stomach-ill Angel still charges after gifts, opening 1 containing her dog bones and eats straight from the box ... throughout the day is foul-windish attic and basement. This caused some tension, as wherever she went -- the wind would surely follow.

Father, videographer extrodinaire, sets the camcorder on a chair during unwrapping, implying to me that it is on pause, but to no shock -- it was flimning its resting and odd angles.

Gary, Jenny's beau, came over to spend some time with us (sister's house). He's a nice kid -- I have high hopes for him. If I were to liken him to anyone facially, Mark Hamill -- younger years. He reported an odd presentation of a gift -- $400 in ones ... wadded up into a box. So to get the "million box, there are one million little boxes ... inside each of those boxes is a crisp, new one dollar bill" money, he had to unwadded it. He said he stopped at $200, then rested.

I can think of a nasty trick for my father, who is a prankster at times.
Traditions:

Father started a tradition of Santa leaving animal crackers (simple little boxes), wrapped in with the gifts. After decades of this, you are well capable of "sniffing them out". He asked for suggestions to better disguise them -- I suggested attaching balsom wood from a citrus crate onto them -- altering their shapes. Anyway -- I no longer eat them. So he has a new challenge: what to do about mine. What I remember them being:

flattened box: accidentally crushed by reindeer
emptied: Santa was especially hungry
opened: inside was a deformed cracker with a note detailing that it was a poo pile
this year: filled with something I do eat -- BBQ potato chips

I suppose that I will take with me all of these quirky, decades-old traditons and include them into the holidays.

Church happenings:
I attended candlelitght vigil, where near the closing candles are lit -- passing the flame to the next person. This is interesting only in the fact that I chose a snapped candle, but it worked just fine. My mother's was dim -- at best, so I tried to improve the flame. In doing so, the bottom holder fell under the seats. I got the flame better. Father handed his candle to Mum and went searching for the holder. All the while the pastor continued on his talk ... clink, clatter, clink ... he got it ... then it fell again (mind you that the lights were down) ... again retrieved ... (tra-la-la -- Captain Underpants is victorious and everything that is good and cottony is saved).

end of spam 2005

"New gimmick for them 04 inversedly"
'"amperemeter laceration"
"baldicoot roundsman"
"but chromosphere, Yves and implausible"
"Barn be wigwam, it's skiff"
"As take it enormously pronoun"
"Are borrow be realisable dyestuff"
"portend propagandist"

Judo

Often pits persons of nearly the same weight against each other. Sometimes one is larger, but his opponent uses the weight difference against him. So is true in our next story:

My sister who "might" outweigh her Christmas tree positioned herself well for the conflict, conceding that Tom didn't shift it like he said he was going to. She was going to do it. She readied herself for the ensuing battle, but didn't react fast enough the the tree's cat-like reflexes.

She lunged, it teetered, swaying away from her grasp, then inexplicably, it surrendered, falling prostrate, with her victorious over her fir adversary. Only the tinkling of ornaments reminded us of the once mighty Christmas tree and its once-notable power.

At least that's the way she told it ... I couldn't believe it was simply falling into it, breaking it nearly in half trying to move it. By the way: sister, 4' 11", <105 pounds, versus 7' tree weighed by metal and trinkets and slashing branch weapons.

What's that noise?

My father was using a leaf vac in the back yard. While using it, it started a high-pitched noise that made him believe it was the motor burning out. This was bad news as a few mechanical instruments this year bit the dust on the folks.

He turned off the vac to find the problem, yet the noise persisted. He turned around to find the neighbot dauschund painfully whining for attention, regardless of the wicked vac. Bailey would, I believe, crawl into your pocket as long as you pet and scratched him --- forever.

Talk about a silly, lovable, dependant animal. Sweet, cute, undoubtably a lapdog.

Fall 2005

Kick me here!

little known fact -- I have been stupid a long, long time.

My knee had some tension. I was hoping that a sharp shock to it would free it. I asked Lori to quickly kick my knee. She declined. After some pestering she kicked me

in the shin.

Needless to say it wasn't any better after that.

Throwing dogs off the tracks

Some time ago, I put some of my personal information on a couple of site for grant research -- specifically for lab equipment for entomological studies, but the sites were all, "pay up front for promised rendered". I don't think so. The luckiest move that I did was enter a name of MMMMMM, with funny spam results sounding like candy commercials.

MMMMM has jsut won
MMMMM what could you do with ...
MMMMM you're welcome ...

Laughing 'bout Salvation

Why laugh? Why not?

If you are saved -- accepting Christ in your heart -- being saved and living thereafter in the realm of God, why not laugh at life, in that it is a joyful thing.

In joyful times, laugh! It is not at the expense of others, but in the enjoyment of the moment. It's the gift you've chosen, given by God, salvation through Christ Lord. Go ahead and laugh! Rejoice!

melts

"... you're my best friend.", 4 year-old Charlie's statement to me. How else could I feel, but wonderful?!

I love you Charlie!




Merry Christmas!

upon being asked

I didn't recall if the concession stand at a bowling alley was open on Christmas. I remember having a job at the bowling alley for a while (high school), but never went there on Christmas. Other service jobs I had required work on holidays ... one almost every holiday. My great dislike of this and separation from family leads me to conclude:

Those who would have "family outings" to bowl on Christmas or to visit the theater on Christmas probably never once thought the of those who work there. Are they with their families? How often are they people entreated to something novel, special? Certain it owed to them, for in my experience, these workers get no "grand" extra for working. Though they might get time and a half -- I find that hardly compensation enough. They are penalized for having a menial job.

I don't shop, buy gas, or do many things that would force another to work on a holiday I would not work. Medical staff, invariably work on holidays. They too and any other stationed person should be entreated by those around, for they have little or no choice but to work.

Be a nice person, thank a service person, buy them a soda, hot cocoa or something. If you're making them work, respect that they often don't have a choice, whereas a person going to the movies VERY MUCH has a choice to not be there. Tip them, get them something nice. They are there away from family while you are there with yours. Do a nice thing -- do for them, as they are doing for you.

Merry Christmas to all!!!!

Duller image (dimmer switch stuck)

he-who-should-not-be-named may do a service to his family, in one regard, in effective ex-communicating himself, and furthering that error by severing everything that he-who-should-not-be-named has -- paid for by him too-patient family. I guess I got my wish, in that he would be removed from the family, to do it no more harm.

I bind you he-who-should-not-be-named, from harming yourself and harming others.
I bind you he-who-should-not-be-named, from harming yourself and harming others.
I bind you he-who-should-not-be-named, from harming yourself and harming others.
(sorry ... Craft, was in my head at the time)

May he-who-should-not-be-named find wrath to himself sometime, finding that he has done wrong and should make ammends for those wrongs. So far ... he-who-should-not-be-named doesn't accept blame -- so that is a long road. God be with him, as his heart is not with God or with others. He-who-should-not-be-named's so-far live-in is 13 years his senior, but neither one is bright or mature. She has two teens from a marriage that is only now in the process of separation and divorce, coupled with bankruptcy -- fun. As far as I have been informed, little time does she spend with these kids. It was also stated that -- big surprise -- she has "recently" broken free from meth. She's in a nursing program. It all sounds like a soap or Jerry Spinger, right?

I disavow kinship in anyway to he-who-should-not-be-named.

Sharper image

No, not the ionizer.

I have a growing understanding of Charlie, who in many cases/ways reminds me of me.

While I never had a great fondness of 3 Stooges, I thought that super-active Charlie might. He seemed to like them just fine, despite their 30s filmography. Well before he saw them, I worked with him on Stooge moves -- including hitting a fist, sending it up and around to hit one of us on the head. I also showed the single hand block to defend against eye-poking.

At one point in time, Chalie was mowing down on candy (chocolate), then becoming Flash (much like Daddy Day Care). I do so love the boy. I'll only be novel for a while, but I'll cherish it while I have it. He loves to climb, but doesn't have a tree in which he can get far.

Other parts of the sharper image are: Pop 'N' Fresh changes -- namely, no keyboardist -- infrequent venues ... I hope that changes! Tammy (last name unknown to me) spoke with others tonight. My last experience was that she spoke only with Mike. If you're offered a "meal in a bottle" turn it down!
"Brocolli casserole beer" was NOT pleasant. It was smooth -- its own true virtue. I wasn't interested in trying the noticably gut-churning salmon or the turkey & gravy beers.
Paula's choice to not really break my arm. Thanks, Paula!

Dave & JJ pointed out some stark rudenesses in some classic Christmas movies including the stop-motion child classic, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. It's funny you don't pick up the signs when you're young.

If history means anything

I'm doomed!

For a span in my life I worked at a video store (can you remember Clerks), which "left me" not quite as rude as Randall, but equally cynical.

Interesting titles: Ebony Humpers (sequels also), Who Reamed Rosie Rabbit?, Girls of Ball Street

Interesting factoids: Caught From Behind (series with MANY sequels). Cost $9. Earned for the store (episode 4): $1100 +; top rented video at a local store one time, When Harry Ate Sally.

What does this tell you? Porn is not likely going to pass away in the night. It sells.
Also -- if you don't want to deal with it, take the advice I didn't heed right away, but was non-the-less sound: "If you don't like your job, quit."

Better to be happier and healthier than miserable and "richer".

Disturbing

Nothing says Merry Christmas like a very disturbing cartoon special or some of the Adult Swim's submissions to the "season". I don't fault Adult Swim for continuing to play already established series, but wouldn't it be nice to suggest to the contributors that while humor is great ... some ideas just aren't worth putting on film.

Do you want an example? I had not personally seen it, because a friend told me of this scene, Andy Warhol's Dracula: "You cannot fully appreciate life unless you _____ it in the spleen." While not a Christmas movie, it underscores that some work, really, well... shouldn't be voiced out loud, or put onto film.

My opinion of the series, Family Guy, is that it's somewhere between MTV's Beavis & Butthead (80s-90s) and Simpson's Halloween specials (which are neat, but graphic). It just goes for a broader audience, not trying to totally duplicate South Park's crudeness (trying to outdo itself each episode with new ideas). I have watched 7 episodes of South Park and I'm done with that. Family Guy, from the creator of Johnny Bravo (who proves that the objectification of women is just fine, airs on Cartoon Network), is not a show I'll watch again.

It's a shame that the shows that I prefer are on later ... Sealab 2021 & Harvey Birdman, more consistently humorous -- Since I work and am typically up and showered by 6:10 a.m., it makes no sense to try to watch them. I won't own a TIVO and am not consistently watching anything.

Come to think of it ... I don't know why I'm even typing thi

Ways to better spend money

Since we are spending around $35 million per day with our war with Iraq & Afghanistan ... can you imagine what we could do with that money if it were spent daily on education or health?

-- Note that when smaller amounts of money were requested, the response was that the US didn't have that money to spend. It would appear that was, inaccurate.

Things to ponder.

Winners of holiday contests

I believe that Keith and his family are the winners, or would be if there was a contest for greatest number of lights on a tree. This year, he stated that he put on 25-100 bulb strings on his tree. That's 2500 lights (at around 75' strands = 1500' of string). Way to go! That's on, I think, a 7.5' tree. If we use the formula of (1/3 r^2 h pi)*.2
I would use .2 being the usable area within the tree, as there are open spaces within any given tree -- artifical are more uniform spaces.
I believe we would have about 180' to string. That would be about one string used for every 7.2' of area or around one string for about every 3 branches (lower branches and upper branches being of different lengths, therefore the math doesn't dictate practicality. Check my math ... please!

Mike might win another contest: greatest amount spent on old ornament, c/o eBay, last year for the Enterprise. You'll have to write to him to find out the price and year -- I think '94 re-release ... I don't know.

One of my sisters might very well win the ludicrous stocking award -- around 50, which includes the twenty-one immediate family members including the dogs. The mantel looks like a line of red/green, no longer discernable as stockings, except the some half names are legible.

She also goes over board on cooking and snack foods. The YMCA should be my home thereafter, working off the pounds and pounds I ate then gained.

spam 5 -- perhaps, the last of the spam series

"get bonus launderings"

Keeping it straight

My mum reminded me of her younger years with her father -- who died before I was born.

Apparently there was a terrible fire in his house when he was a boy, due to a Christmas tree fire. Thereafter Christmas was a downer for him and for my Grandparent's family, who adapted to the situation and made it all they could.

I hope that I would not resort to a near-denial of the spirit of Christmas.

Apart from silly little strings never faithfully lighting and the occasional bulb breaking, nothing of much concern has happened.

spam 4

After the ranting it's great to laugh again.

"Pollyanna, may picket"

Okay. Those who know some one by that name ... please let me know.

Tangent from "circa 2002" -- politcal too

That is sad ... sickening, but yet ... I have other, worse stories.

A different school.
Normally on referral slips, there are bulleted items that can be checked (ex: remove from rooom, refer to office, behavior, academic, etc.). At one school there were more bulleted items. You would bullet items, not to account for every possibility, but rather for common items, making it easier to read. The longer list, this is an elementary school (in the 53rd largest US city -- I think), includes drugs, paraphenelia, assault, sexual assault, weapons, et. al. Now. If you have it happen often enough to bullet it, I'd say that is the problem and referral slips aren't going to solve that.

From another source: "That area has an epidemic of molestation ... like a rite of passage, almost." Pragmatically, I suggest that you nuke the rapists ... return the biomass to the planet; or deploy them as mine sweepers in Arabia or toxic waste disposal in the Yukka Mountain, if instant destruction of the rapists isn't prudent or "moral". What makes does God grant all humans, free will. Taking, denying a person free will, especially those unable to understand free will. BTW: all persons know right and wrong -- schizophrenics being the possible exception. It is through training that we are taught otherwise.

circa 2002

I was at an urban school -- 1st grade.

They were studying weather and part of the practice was to nearly daily, check the wind as shown by the US flag in front of the building. As this was the first day for this, I had the kids don their gear to walk outside. When finally outside, the kids could care less about the flag -- recess was on their minds. I got that!

What I didn't predict was one of the boys pulling his stocking hat over his face, bumping into one of the other kids, then, in a gruff tone, damand her money. What a charming act. Even more, likely a home-environment thing that is not "critical" enough to warrant investigating the house, let alone possibly relocating those children.

Gift

After the difficulty I had with Charlie's birthday gift and the resulting frustration I had with assembling the ruddy thing, I had to find something different. It has just as many pieces, but no set structure. It'll be all over and I'll be blamed and I'll be okay with that, because it can be creative and follows two of the ten basic rules for better gifts for kids: does not require batteries, was not designed to make noise (music).

Soothing humor

Some time ago, a person (whom I know, but their association to me is unimportant to the story) had minor frequency. It was suggested to him that he naturally take care of the problem with, say -- dried plums*. That's wasn't unreasonable, save that as they were that person, the character ate from the container like popcorn at the theater. Within 18 hours, the frequency was back and strangely more frequent.

The person found that running -- sprinting, not marathon, was important to do. I understand there was a slight, "panicked look" when the person got the 2-minute warning. Some vacation beginning, eh? Does the frequent pottier, go in the woods? You bet! Grass stains are better than other stains.

I believe that the windows were used often too, as bowels were breaking and chairs were quaking.

Tip: don't over do it on the medicine--natural or otherwise.

* dried plums sound much better than the stigmatized, "prunes"

Ah ... ordering online

I ordered something Friday from a Michigan company. I continually looked at my account to see when it was charged.

Saturday, no. Monday, no. Tuesday, no. Wednesday, yes.
Will the order be sent by Sunday -- highly unlikely.

So, if you are ordering by online ... plan well ahead. I didn't spring for over-twice the shipping fee for faster delivery. Maybe it would have been worth it.

Also out of Bluffton, Indiana

Although it is closed, it's funny to see nature encroaching. Rustic Cove is soon to be eaten. It was (at the time of the photo) home to wild critters and several large bee hives.
summer of 2004

Hardly original

Did you ever get the feeling that you were being watched?

I get that all the time. The fact that I have been guessed as many people doesn't help. I've been guessed as Steve Irwin, Matthew Brodrick (do you see a similarity there -- I don't); more often Inspector Gadget, a man who goes to different schools with a rabbit book, "personally chewed" by Buns, the rabbit, et. al.

I get the look ... the "strangely familiar" look -- do I say something to him ... what?

I know that I had a non-biological twin somewhere in Florida teaching scuba diving, but what is it?

I must have a mannequin face -- dimly familiar ... seen when some one goes shopping.

Doing a google search on myself ... I found "me" way down in the list, but it is interesting that those at the top of the list (shorted form) have had their success at photography and a couple of my interests. I suspect that this means I will not distinguish myself from these others sharing my name. It'll have to be another way.

Tanning and more!

I got a cell-phone pic from Jeff, where he "would have gone" if he weren't with his folks and wife Paula. It had a wonderful title, "Little Herb Shop: Massage & Tanning". Instead, he went with them to The Snug.

No! You do it!

I got a wonderful audio message today from "Charlie" who repeatedly stated, "No; you do it!" Concluding with, "I can't do it!"
Daddy closing with, "Okay, okay! Ho, ho, ho!"

The picture was far less clear -- the creche' / nativity scene it appeared, mostly of Mary and Christ -- sideways.

I stand corrected. It was a picture of Charlie sitting on Santa -- obviously a bit blurry and sideways.Merry Christmas! Ho, Ho Ho!!!

Now Entering Madness 4

I actually had a few dogs in mind when I constructed this. One dog -- Angel, poked her head under the table, then over the lap of a person, to twist her head, contorting her tongue to lick cake and icing off a plate near the edge. Needless to say, the person chose not to eat it.

A memory I have of a cat we once had, Stubby, decided that the sausage links on my plate looked and smelled good, so jumped up and slashed them off my plate -- the fiend.

He nonchalantly ate them off the floor -- as if, "Hey! You weren't eating these on the floor here, were you?"

Spam 3

"swap some sulfurous, but Pammy"
"Re: As draw or angry"
"Of spell my imperative chit"
"substantiate the Carson, and cottonseed"
"or programmer, Anselm a joust"
"see raoul, raffish not Husain"

Alejandra

Body of Alejandra Gutierrez Found Dec 19, 2005 - (Fort Wayne, IN) -- Fort Wayne Police confirm they have discovered the body of 10-year-old Alejandra Gutierrez in a remote area south of Fort Wayne. Indiana’s NewsCenter has learned from multiple sources that Alejandra was found today in a wooded area near a gravel pit in northeastern Delaware County.Alejandra has been missing since December 8th. The Maplewood Elementary School student never made it to her bus stop.Police officials are turning their attention to a suspect already in custody. Sources tell us that suspect is Simon Rios, the man who is charged in the murder of his wife and three children December 13th. The Rios home is just two houses away from the bus stop.Indiana’s NewsCenter will have more information on this story as it develops.

Now Entering Madness 3

My favorite of my collective works herafter listed under, Now Entering Madness.

Now Entering Madness 2

Now Entering Madness 1

A stress-relieving cartoon

spam 2

"Averyl it's smokescreen, but thirteen"

M.B.A. Jeff

Like, you cut the cake, eh?

Watch this!

While I was indeed watching him working with the robot, over the sofa, Charlie was unsatisfied. He repeatedly called to me to watch him. Out of frustration, he dragged the robot around the sofa so that I could "watch" him work with it.

Interestingly enough, while the robot walked like trudging through swamp muck in its orignal location, Charlie's new locale seemed to work better. Perhaps, with the number of people there to celebrate with the Kannings on Jeff's graduation, the path was flattened (high-traffic); the robot walked.

My dear Charlie! :)

Congratulations Jeff!

War

or something like it.

I was playing with Charlie who wanted to push against me -- head and hands first against my hand. Sid, silly dog, got jealous and grabbed her rope and wanted to play tug with me. I was then pulled and twisted on my right and was pushing against a highly-active 4-year-old on my left. It would have made a great picture! Both surrendered at about the same time. Charlie became transfixed by the lure of cartoon television in spans of 4-7 minutes.

We later went outside and Sid was pulling me along, much like a sled on tundra. Charlie was having fun trudging through the snow leaving bootprints and crawling every now and then. I found that both of them together make a pair mightier than myself. I sent Sid inside while Charlie and I played for a litle bit more outside.

Later in the evening, Charlie, who has a slide on one side of his bed, wanted to make steps with the cardboard bricks. This was somewhat successful, but there weren't enough of the long bricks to make the course even. He worked through it though. He fell asleep watching Tom & Jerry. Keith nearly did too.

goto

dinner ... be recognized

be greated

15 minutes of fame, and then some.
Two students bade me holiday greetings.

Also, no animosity in her voice, freshmen came into the school were I was today and reminded me that I wrote referrals to them. Sadly, I don't remember that and her details were faulty, as I wasn't at the mentioned school during the year she mentioned, but she and her friend bade me well anyway.
...
that being said,
for fame I'm not working, but rather hoping that every following generation is greater, smarter, and more prepared than the last. Moreover, that they are broader thinkers than those before.

Remembering school, clearly we were taught two dimensionally -- limited in application of knowledge and versatility of what is known and usable.

Stupid questions do exist, but generally are born of ignorance of not focusing or of not listening to that question alreayd being answered or more wickedly, the desire of the fool to be fed the knowledge without having to think or remember.
---
A wonderful contrast to this is a student who intentionally leaves his metal aid (walker) in favor of walking and growing stronger. A stong spirit defies what other might see as a weakness, instead is more like having two lefts -- a rarity, but not diminishing.

Christmas song

personally, I find this delightful, especially as it flows with my age: (sounds like Van Halen's Panama, until you listen to the lyrics)

ApologetiX, Sanata Claus

I normally wouldn't post this, but

I believe I did get a chance to teach her. The first student I remember no longer being around -- specifically, dying was in 2nd grade (Jan.) at the time of her young death, due to heart conditions. Micheala.

It is disheartening. In the above case, case managers had a large workload, in helping the family and local community, as well as helping the students cope with the situation. At the time of this writing, there is no addtional information. Often, custodial battles bring abductions, then other times, there are other reasons. Here, I believe it is the latter.

It doesn't help when parents are routinely late in picking up the kids and getting them to school. Some students have such an erratic routine that the term no longer applies. Doubtfully anyone who reads this will see / recognize her, but it serves the point of doing the right thing for all people, especially those who need it most.

I personally believe in bounties on criminals. Sometimes: wanted live; sometimes wanted dead or alive; sometimes wanted subdued and recognizable (i.e.: dead okay)

Spam 1

I shall begin collecting the silly subjects of spam mail that my filter pulls away, waiting for my decision:

"Go turnoff or rigmarole"
"And fly by imposition "

If then

I magically got a gig today ... the last day before Christmas vacation. I've been subbing so long, I forget that some people don't remember or know me. I re-introduced myself. The class did some, but little of consequence. One fiendish paper was a compilation of math problems some of which were dastardly evil!

I had the option of sending down everyone to the party, but held back a few kids who were of exceptional behavior, it warranted it. Ah, being town Marshall again. I'm just missing my trusty six-shooter "peacemaker".

It was a delight to me, however when I got hugs at the end of the day and that one girl was noticing that she was nearly as tall as I am. This filled her with much pride.

One girl in the class I had treated me to a bag of treats. Isn't that sweet?!

In other news, my niece is finding out more about her brother who, in my opinion makes a great arse or ass of himself. It is speculated that he might be a genetic contributor to a person -- this is not to say a father, who compassionately raises his child (ren), ultimately knowing they will oneday be adults.

I believe it more likely to be a Mory Povitch or Montel urban story of a fatherless birth or of such an unknown parentage that Poirot or Columbo couldn't find the real genetic donor given many leads and clues. Who's baby is it? Tony Shalhoub calmly stating, "I don't know."

He's presently laid up in hospital after minor knee surgery.
"Helpless. Hopeless. Friendless ... unemployed, in Greenland!"
I guess, according to my sister, that his "macking" had a significant influence on the weak minded -- namely the drizzle of half-brained dips he's been ... with. I don't know that I'd call it dating, for "he's got no money; he's got no car"; he's got stupid women, and there you are.

His line has been, "I'm on a record label for rapping" ["lies to sound like the truth" apparently was omitted]. Also, that his folks were footing the bill for food, housing, medical, insurance (auto, if he ever again gets one) and cell phone. He must have been one of those Corey Haim cases, eh?

As a dogmatic Cahtolic, well declaring that he is virtuous and SO-Catholic, it was an eye-opening experience for his youngest sister to find out the extent to his lies. It was unshocking to me. If you have to tell people you are a good person, you probably don't show it too well.

Anyway ... Christmas will be .... uh, better without him / them (girlfiend -- current, the one who isn't pregnant) and his royal ass.

My Friday wasn't that bad, I think I'll just listen to some music and read something -- thinking pleasant thoughts and remembering hugs and well-wishings from kids and adults!