Bow out boys

There's a group called Fall Out Boys, but I'm not referring to them.

When a psycho comes along, you must bow out.
Dependancy comes along, unless you bow out.
Selfish drama comes along, better bow out.
Your soul stolen away, trust me bow out.

I think a number of people out there will agree with me on this one -- leechy, clingy, dependant (especially overly) people will bring you down into a hole. They either hope you're big enough to fill it, one of the many people who will fill it, or don't accept the fact that they are the hole -- empty by volition.

I think that there are more "Emo"s than those that 'adopt' that lifestyle as it were. Most of them are merely disenfranchised fairly normal kids who like to bitch about not being allowed to smoke at age 14. Some have more complex family issues and still others have real trauma and drama, but aren't seeking professional help. Social cuddles their mental instability, lablels it as a fad and icky-ackity-oop -- their pain (real or imagined) is hip and trendy. Why stop whining when it's cool and cliquish?

Later, trying to have adult relationships, therein is the fundamental error -- never grew up. Still whining and writhing in phantom pain from not getting a pony for Christmas.

To men and women of the world -- if it looks like a nut, smells like a nut, acts like a nut ... chances are that it's a nut and you'd be wise to bow out before the play (tragedy drama theater).

Should I take crazy again

Nope ... I had that, don't want it again.
She wants you. She needs you. But there ain't no way in the world she can love you, for ...
she is a vaccuum of emotion -- sucking life and existence from all corners, doesn't love herself so she's not going to have what we humans call 'love' for you, so it's absorption, addiction-like haunting ... I wouldn't call it love.

Two out of three aint' good enough, thanks though.

what's this ... on pulse?

Old phones ... who can understand them?

Oh, anyway ... the desperate phone call was not so desperate. I found myself being career counselor
again.

Yes, uh huh, yep ... gotcha, alright. I'll tell you what. Take the job that pays and if something better comes along, take it.

I should have been thinking like, Better Off Dead, "Go down there, really fast. If something gets in your way, turn." Don't make things terribly complex when they aren't. Take out all the drama, the headache, the ambiguity, the campaign costs, the tri-color printing and you are left with something mostly black and white. If what you see makes sense .. great! If not, great! Take anyway anything distracting and you have the core.

She agreed that my advice made sense.

Apple core, Baltimore, who's your friend, me!

One telling thing ... "Oh, I know about computers" (mid March statement)
"I haven't had internet for over a year" (last night's statement)

"I've been here for seven years; I know high school. I'm no dummy."+ I hear the tinkling of glass and somewhere, Pinocchio's nose is growing. Dose one of unreality or "little white lie". Despite the beautiful red color of the apple presented to me, I'll opt out of the poison apple. ++ I ain't bitin'.

+ Better Off Dead
++ Snow White, Adam & Eve

Bitte, baby

Mickey, come over for a party.

So, I made a phone call, I thought there was bad news.
Man, I don't have the money, but I think I ought to get my cellphone back to "operational"++.

+ blog title borrowed from Blazing Saddles
++ "... armed and operational battle station. Commander, you may fire when ready." from Return of the Jedi

H B to me again

not, I'm not having another birthday, but rather I was again wished one.

Thanks!

Grr

Too bad Danno took my entry title, "grr".

I had a disagreement today with a fellow co-worker. It ended quickly. Sill more, I felt that I might be better with a dunce cap and in the corner. Dumb-kid here.

More cut marks

I have a few more, new, cut marks to add to the line of sores and "what's that there" when people see my arms, legs, and other parts. I rarely got marks while teaching, but usually came home smelling of sweat -- all schools were off in temp and my hands would be rainbowed with markers and highlighters and pens. The graphite and chalk came off fairly well.

Now, I come home with a sweaty tinge, that work smell, cigarettes (from smokers at work) and regional smells -- RR by place, chemicals at work, and (if you have a good sense of smell) the lake water.

I'd kinda like to smell, through due course of closeness, like a stunning woman at work. She's sweet, mouthwatering, but ... I don't stand a chance. I'm wildcat and she MLB.

She spoke a bit about what she did before coming to the company. It seems to me that she could make more money doing the office stuff she was doing before.

MR will hate my reference to her, but Sheryl Crow's "First Cut is the Deepest" rolls in my head about her. It's a "Crush" and sadly not a "Sex Type Thing".

gettin' 'ger on you

I tend to 'ger, in a modest fashion, almost like I had while teaching ... "Excuse me, but do you have any grey poupon?" "But of course", the enlisted person returns. I have been able to lightly ask and get reasonable results. I also think my pitching in and doing -- matters. I'll do, instead of waiting for a "free body" to do a simple task. Other 'gers just don't seem to want to do that. When teaching ... it was all me, solo, flying on ideas, plans, and an encyclopedia mind that could shift with needed and unpredicted turns.

This here job -- mostly, make it, do it, repeat. There is a comaraderie with the lowers and "grunts" that the 'gers might have. I still fall back on the "good ol' boys club" with the sexist and racist remarks win the wind, aka their voices. I find it disturbing at times. Most often, it's light banter, to keep up chatter and specifically generated to people who can take it and dish it out.

I wonder what the younger people there, teens too, think of the rather appauling, course, and sometimes graphic statements and inuendos. Probably ... "cripes ... those people are sickos", maybe.

Legit or not, a complaint

Too often do I see 'gers of "distinction" idly watching while others work. I understand that they are making observations, but good golly! I think they are, too often, idle or stopped. I think stopped and engine off, not idling at all.

Hey there 'ger ... you plan on doing something or just making the best wall you can between where I am and where I need to be? It lends itself to a perspective of, "those who can't/won't, command". I think therein is an oversight some 'gers are not understanding and not seeing. Folly in command.

It was an androgenous day ... oh, wait, I mean ambiguous

Overall -- okay day, but shifting turning business made for weirdness. I think that some people were "Jonesin'" to get the blank out of there today. Sometimes people are, well, course in their statements.

Thankfully I was teased a bit, so I know that I wasn't too brash with anyone.

Workin' it!

T: OFF
W: 8 am - 4:30
R: 2 - 10
F: 5- 1:30 am
S: 3-10
N: 12-8
M: 11-5

stick to their own

Two guys -- mid-"m"'s ... m&m s if you will, + were helping each other tonight. I tried to do what I could to help the closing "m", but that same guy doubtfully did much for me, save "missed a spot". They make an odd pair -- different in so many ways, yet -- comaradaree. I'm not all into the "innner fold" sanctum, and will bow out of the op if given it. Still, they apparently see that I'm a struggling candidate for little "m".

'There is ... another' as Yoda said. I got word ... gossip -- fun stuff, that the one woman who was to pursue the "m" status in another place is to do it here too. It will be a bevee of "m"s. Payroll will not look good.

Dude! You got more "m"s than Indians or peons. Your payroll looks downright bad, dude. I am constantly asked if I am the replacement "M", but no. The steadfast GM there is going to be the GM there. I will be sent out to Indy and the other Skywalker will be sent out to a burg, ville or hamlet in mid-nowhere, but she can find it.

+thanks M R for your reference to Mars candy

Monkeyjack sends me a clue

What started out as a scratch, turned into something else. If we were in Italy ... oi! I'd be peeved!

Charlie has his own lightsaber ... his skills are complete.

Who dat?

Sissy -- she visited and then I had to find out where she lived. She was adorable, playful, and wiley. Sadly, she left in hours and my playmate was gone.

rerun

If only I were writing about Lius' cousin, or "Gilligan's Island", but no. I'm referring to the white and not China White either. It is the stuff that slides trucks, cars, and people around -- blighting your vision and not a welcome visitor after nice sunny and fairly warm weather.

Snow, snow ... go away, come again some December day!


Anyway, there was snow on my way home -- didn't like it, had to drive into some of the wind and the cast off from some cars was annoying.

recyler

ZZ Top named a CD this title, but I'm not typing about that. My radio expereinces back and forth to work/residence is recycled. Hey ... it's 60s - 70s again. To boot, you hear the top (not 40), but top 10 continually. It is a bitter ride there and back. Curse my lack of mp3 player!

I am making some inroads to the folks there at work ... integrating in ways.
I have disclosed starkly little of me, still ... I enjoy finding out about others. I'm no gossip, so anything like that ends at me, but I prefer to talk with people personally rather than through proxy.

done without nets

For particular positions where I work, you dress differently. I had to strip off some part for one area, then re-don it for another, then do a keystone changing room act because of a few feet between messy and not messy. Huh ... who knew it would be so funky?

I had to travel, dangerously, through an area without my "hat" ... no nets here. I don't like wearing a hat all day, but that's my job.

I got calls about -- got wrong order ...
I'm peeved, now listen!
"I'm waiting!" +

It is, what we call, the service arena, sometimes battle, sometimes mere banter. Some people are caught in the spectacle and the glamor. Their spot in the sun.

+ Princess Bride

bagging

Featured below, there is a president sandbagging. Were it Clinton, that would have been bags of money he was loading into his car/van/SUV. Clinton -- he just loves money, not only his.

Worse flood

I don't think we'll quite get to this stage, but we might.
FW News picture archive

Below you can see a famous sandbagger ... not how you think I mean.

Driving through Mississippi River

Well, something like that is what I did tonight. "and the rain, rain, came down, down, down, and the rain, rain, came down, down, down"+ "Drip, drip, drop, little April showers ..."++ One of the rivers was overflowing its banks. It's that seasonal thing to do ... call to anyone not doing anything and get them to sandbag for a while. It's an annual thing to do. The concept of the "hundred-year" flood is noble, but the fact that it floods twice a year ought to be a clue that the "hundred year flood" is likely quite a bit larger than what we get.

We're getting more rain this week -- it'll be fun, fun, fun, 'til my daddy takes the sailboat away

+ Winnie the Pooh
++ Bambi

I haven't the heart

I am the roughest-toughest pushover. I could probably walk out any given night wearing gobs of stuff or be tormented in any number of ways. I just don't say no, very often.

overview of CSI

crap ... complete crap

While not at work, I spent some time with my mom ... she watched CSI

It was, without a doubt, a graphic comic/cartoon.
Here's someone looking through a microscope -- action music ... intrigue, she shows someone else.

"I'm a criminalist", that's why I'm walking around in casual clothes at a crime scene visited fifteen times by thirty people and then go to a poorly lit interior room to examine evidence. I also have the power to arrest people, conduct interviews, mess around with evidence, and be the "head brain" around the place.

Apart from the complete melodrama soap opera feel of it all, all stupid story, mindnumbing acting, and far-fetched "so-called science", you're left with cut-scenes and complete logic flaws and something close to transporters. I guess woman can't watch Star Trek, but they will watch CSI -- same sci-fi, same acting, just different backdrop.

In hindsight, I suggest that Star Trek is a greater show, in that it didn't pretend to be real.

Weather or not, I go

The weather is not being kind today, still, I must go to work. The shifting wind will rock my car like a kayak in the Bermuda Triangle. I think that I shall never see a day of weather just right for me. Yesterday was close -- cool, not yet cold, bright and sunny.

I got a chance to take out the folks for lunch, which turned out nice for us. The place was "hoppin'" busy, so there was a long walk to and from the car.

I reflect now, that for a short time, I got a chance to be with family, later with friends with two wild dogs and a hyper boy.

In my mind, doubt and wonder circle the tank ... if offered, would I go postal?

puppy & broom

puppy & broom
Originally uploaded by MDH, II.

clean sweep with food and fun ... puppy chases bristles

the puppy found a great playmate ... my neice

lower case m

"ever since I was a lowercase g"

I'm an "m", however low ... an "m" in training, but an "m" anyway.

I think my interest in making things better -- efficient, might be my niche, my novelty, my why-he's-an-m.

wars we no longer have

Now, consummers win when there are price wars. I won't discuss here the many wars costing human lives, but rather the lack of prices wars on items, like ...
GAS, milk, soda, food items,
there are "price wars" with fast food, but really -- 90 cent burger is ... really a 90 cent burger, mostly bun and not so tasty

I'd like to see price wars on clothing and kids' shoes, VEHICLES, housing

of all the wars there are, globally, I'd like to see these wars tearing through the nation -- helping the average Jane and Joe with everyday life.

Patsy

At work, the grunt and monotonous work has the delightful moniker of "bitch work", usually with the specific task following the word "bitch". I was given bitch-work before, but submitted that I prefer the term slut, as opposed to anything else.

I got help last night from a woman assigned "bitch work", which was otherwise rarely-done-hard-to-reach-cleaning-of-internally-cosmetic-concern-only. She came to save my butt, as I stink at a particular realm of world -- in a prep area of specific items, usually labeled "right away". I was quickly overwhelmed. Another woman ran to do anything other than, "bitch work" as she hastily calls it "...fix me a chicken pot pie, bitch!"+ As she defines it, bitch work, more in line with you-is-da-working-ho ... you do dis!

I have had the patsy work before ... do this, mundane but required task. I don't mind the task, but the "Hey, [task] bitch", irks me. You love that work so much, slut. Some things I do like. I hope to find ways to improve the paperwork. Boy, oh, boy is it a mess. I did the company thing of "bending over backwards" for a couple of guys who had a bad situation with their order, but wanted to pay just about nothing for it. You know ... I guess I was never really that crappy of a person about it. If a place did me wrong, I generally didn't go there twice, end of story. I typically didn't raise a stink about it. I guess in the service industry, it is more common that people raise a stink.

In relation to a stink, I related the smell of cooking meat to how it smells to me. Also, there is a guy at work who smokes ragweed or gypsum or something foul smelling ... maybe it's dogwood with banana peels, anyway -- foul and bad. I made some food, but people raised a fuss about it, for to them, it "stank", coming from smokers and people who eat equally foul-smelling meals -- not much of an insult.

+ Breakfast Club

girl, gold watch, and everything

Well, there was a girl, but no gold watch -- she was late, and everything else.

I had an interview today -- fastest yet to date. I was applying for assistant director, but those positions were/are filled. There are teaching positions, but they pay less well. The woman interviewing me was late. She got pulled over and was given a ticket.

I met her at Starbucks and I had a very weak coffee. Hey, folks! What gives with the weak coffee? I paid, $2.75 and tipped $ .25, but they may have been too much.

I saw that the buinesses in the "well" plaza across from the mall all had bars on their windows. Nice, really looks good. I might offer my services for part-time work there, but I don't always get off the same day for my other job. Hmmm.

I mentioned also that I passed my postal service exam. I don't know if they will call me or what.

Easter

He has risen, He lives so that you can too.

We had a partial family gettogether, nice, ending early. Although lacking bunny ears, my sister got a new puppy. She was the star of the day.

My day, in short

I was working and got behind at work and then was overdone. I, well, got spanked!
I got a letter regarding a test. I understand that I passed. Now, if someone would call and ask about a job, then ...

I also contacted another person regarding a job. I have an interview tomorrow.

In all, it was up, down, and all around. I saw of the two women at work who really fascinate me.

r2d2 mailbox

r2d2 mailbox
Originally uploaded by firepile.

I'm a geek -- I like it

Watcha want for din din?

We could either have soup or cheese sandwiches.
Well, I don't want to cut the cheese, so I think soup.
Yeah, well, you've done your share of cheese cutting. (The retort was not relevant to the pic above, mind you)

religion, attacks, profiling

My brother-in-law and I were talking and he mentioned profiling. I concured that, as far I know, I don't think there were Episcapalian Jihadists or Later-Day-Saints Matyrs or even Menonite Revolutionaries that ravaged areas in the name of God. No ... no, indeed I think the larger number of so-named terrorist attacks have been faction or non-declared faction groups of the Islamic religion, Muslims by category. So, when Muslims are targeted, they spout off about proiling. Yes, gee ... I wonder why. How many, to date, Iraqi and Iranian jetliners has the US hijacked? How many has the US shot down with a stinger missiles? How many times has the US launched attacks while standing in groups of citizens or on tops of hospitals?

Hmm ... profiling. Yep, works for me.

In the US, you find some lone white guy in a Black area ... up to no good, well, what one of these things is not like the other? Thanks Sesame Street, I think I got it. The one standing out might be the one I want.

Black neighborhood, liquor store robbed by ... yep, you guessed it, someone who is Black. Is that profiling or is that a reasonable deduction? Man evades police, exceeding speed limit and drives recklessly. He claims racial profiling, but why did he evade police at the start?

Men In Black, wades through line of illegal immigrants and Tommy Lee Jones spits out typical Spanish phrases, but stops at one, large, overly dressed man. He asks questions, but the supsect is unresponsible (Donda es? Si.) Is that racial profiling or good police work?

This isn't denying the sad case of "Driving While Black", but rather that the loudmouths generally overstate their case ... "they got him 'cause he Black". The poor grammar notwithstanding, the suspect might very well have been chosen because he was a reasonable guess given little data. Black male driving common car in area, of average build and no distinguishing marks.

So ... he looks like everyone else, generally. He'll be easy to find (sarcastically expressed). When we find a young Black man meeting "average", don't go ape *@$# on us, okay? If you know more info ... God willing, give more detail. Don't believe strongly that he's XYZ's second cousin and note only ... "some young guy looking average build, height, weight, no marks". If this XYZ's second cousin was out of town -- he's off the reasonable suspect list and the list can therefore be narrowed.

Notably stripped

Stripper!

Fool!

No thinking involved!

That was me, once, not as happy of an ending for me of course.

+ Jeff gets naked, BBC Coupling

Cute, expensive, sadly ... poorly timed

My sister has inducted another recruit.

Unpopular as my opinion might be, no one is around for this new puppy who will need lots of attention and training. I don't have a pet, because I'm not around. MR has a job where he can take a longer lunch and be home with the pooch -- much to her delight, and then pop back to work. My sister isn't home long enough and her other commitments will not jibe well with the needs of a puppy.

Poor little girl ... bad timing sis!

Giggle loop

It happened at work during a training session. What's the worst that could happen ... [pop] ha ha ... oops, better hide it, lest the giggle loop consume me. I was being trained when it happened. I tried not to have to explain myself. Crud ... it happened again!

Thanks to BBC and Coupling for the wonderful illustration

differences

"and I want anal, Lois" +
Wipe down, then wipe down, then sterilize ... lots of work, but not wicked.
....
example two:
"Whoa, dude! I'm not telling you not to do that, but you are responsible for this region here", in other words, you won't have time to do all that that

+ Family Guy, referring to how he wants the house, should they ever get rescued
------
Paperwork, paper trail:

Okay, at the end of the night you have to walk back and forth between units, printing reports. That's fine. I understand that I'll get/make my own routine. What is odd that no one seems to want to present me a LIST of the reports that I need to print. That would be helpful. If I had a list, then I could write down notes for myself as to where they are and the order needed.

I've also been shown how to review numbers and find errors. The sad bit is, that they don't use the computer to generate reports specific for them, like what they personally want to track. They use the win 95/00 and win 3.1 generated reports and scroll through them to get numbers.

Gentlemen, welcome to Win 95 where you can get reports extracted from data.

Gentlemen, welcome to Win XP/Vista ... where the reports are self-generating and you can enter in data like "Excel" into parallel columns for comparison and contrast.
Gee, Vern ... do ya tink dat's gonna work alright?
I shu-er donda know
....

Make the computer work for you ... it is a tool, that's why we have computers ... electronics, sophisticated, adaptable, programmable tools with application that are programmable and adaptable

I'm left with the feeling of: "dummies". You're right, I'm lazy ... I'd rather have "MY DATA" that I want/need one one or two pages, but the neat thing with them thar computers is that you can do that!

I will have to contact some IT guys and find out what the process is for generating specific reports. I'm sure they'd be happy that I'm interested, even if they submit, "you can't do that right now".

Booked Nights & Weekends

T: OFF
W: 11 - 8
R: 2 -10
F: 5pm - 1:30 am
S: 3 - 10
N: 12 - 8
M: 11 - 5

Work hurts

I got spanked again at work last night, this time by a different woman.

It's all in good fun and humor and there is no illicit or sexual foreplay to it. The woman who have done it are, well ... committed in some way to a man, so there isn't a "come chase me" innuendo to this game.

shoot

So this man fled the Feds and then called, "Just shoot me!"

In a follow up story, 300 officers had target practice today ...

Dude! These real work quotes are odd!

"Dude, I just woke up. Can I have ..." (11:45 pm)

Man approaches me, "I'm hungry"

"Uh, yeah. One of your drivers just cut me off in traffic."

"Help! I'm trapped (stall was locked) in the girl's bathroom and ... I need toilet paper."

"This happens all the time!" (angrily stated, but yet ... they return)

I won't type the various and many dirty comments people there have made to one another. Thankfully, no one is serious.

"That guy's an %$@#hole!" (remarked about a county officer)

"So, who invited the monster", asked the GM when he saw the mess and remnants of a 'paper war' strewn all over the floor. What a complete and utter mess.

becoming one with the shaft

There was a guy at work, kid really, who wanted out at his "scheduled" time, but work swing higher so someone had to stay. He was chosen and so, grimly he stayed. He's usually in a good mood, silly like a class clown, but it soured. I'm glad that he finally got to leave. I felt sad for him, vulture-like, trying to hastily get thingsg done to get out ... anything to get out faster.

Perhaps he'll get his wish next time.
....
different work moment

A guy at work related, "I know your a techie like all of us" ...

Uh, dude, you're no techie. I'd label him closer to trekkie than to techie. Most of the people who've worked there for a while are "too comfortable" to ever really leave. I think of them as really good euchre players, but they couldn't play poker to save their lives. They are stuck in a microcosm of that place and dare not venture out. They know the critical programs, but I doubt they know much beyond that and typical surfing. The techie-of-sorts knew "router", but the intra workings are hardwired. There's a satelite dish for commnunication and system linking. That, sadly is the slowness of the system.

They are running on a win 2000 computer, including using win 3.1 software for a couple of minor things. My suggestion to the company itself ...
invest now in good material that lasts and it will save you more, but most people don't see the value in buying big-modern. The big-modern are things that are more than you need, but will fit your need down the road in 2-3 years. That's smarter thinking ... working smarter, not harder.

Anyway, I got a chance to look at the money and nightly paperwork. Hmmm, redundancy aside, there is a larger volume of clicks, tweeks, and entering that I could have imagined. As an outsider, I actually have some real suggestions for streamlining the process to make "less" work at the end of the night.

One: kill the zon machine in favor of presently available, but not activated card swipes on the POSs
Two: modify interface to show application numbers or account numbers for separate entries either - or +

I have others, but I'll post 'em later.

slip slidin' away

On my way home last night: 2:38 according to my car clock, in another county, the roads were very slick from the ice-snow mix. The wind was high, and so my car was a little plastic toy on an ice rink. I had to slow down, as I felt perpetually fishtailing. It was odd, since the roads weren't that bad in "Winter".

I was again reminded of the many things plaguing me:
place closer to work,
outstanding other bills,
get different car,
study for work test,
and more ...

Rest, not sleep but quality rest, is elusive. I did sleep, but had stressful dreams. I will settle down sometime and really rest.

Ahem. Now my justified bitching comes

When you can't find a wooden soap box use a box of powder ..

Anyway, according to a stat report, for all the effort and money (including taxpayer money) spent on lobbying and fighting and finally bringing into being daylight savings time for our area -- there was no measurable energy change.

So, let me get this right. Taxpayers had their money spent on decades of lobbying and counter filing and after all of that, we don't see any measurable difference? I adjust fairly quickly to the one-hour difference change, but others do not. If I account for the crap, I'd say the people here in Indiana and the general taxpayer lsot, and lost big time here.

May congress stopping pushing manure and start, I don't know ... doing something productive.
It's like going to a doctor for a cut hand. You cut the hand at work with a clean sharp boxknife. Rather than stitch it shut or bandage it, the doctor runs tests for weeks, to conclude, after your infected wound is bad, that it is now infected. The doctor claims no responsiblity for not more quickly attending to the real problem of just patching it together first.

This is what I think legislators did here with daylight savings time. They pushed it through and showed no value to the taxpayer and citizen. Way to go morons! Get out of law if you don't know how to do it! If you like to spend other people's money, become a professional poker player, don't use taxpayer money, jerk!

Easter sign

located in Michigan, at a large cost to build and maintain ... Cross of the Woods. Christ remembered.

I don't wear crosses or a crucifix, for if it fails in my mind, in my heart ... no trinket will make it reappear.

thinking ...

I think that I might be the tech-saviest of the lot at work. Now, since I'm older than some of the 'gers, I'd think that I'd be the slower poke, but no. They are as wit' it, on 'puters as Buddy Epson was on Park Avenue. I'd suspect, hidden deep in the small town mind is "Green Acres". Ed-Earl, Ed, Edd, and Eddy, Bill, Ed and Ed (Newhart), and the like. "That's the way it's always been", has been uttered more than once.

So ... I guess the time of the pen and pencil will remain in this untouched world. I think (again of Trek) the prime directive of not altering the course of a planet's development. It's just sad to see it limp around like it does. That's not like Nemo's "special fin"! That's intentional self-binding and blinding!

"Oh, bother." - Pooh Bear, c/o Milne

You die, and we all move up a rank

"I need a", chiefy, "to sign off on this". Okay, so now I have "signing" powers, to some limited extent. Now, I'm really pumped about flying powers and maybe X-Ray vision.

Speaking of powers of observation, the term at work for a hottie is "bubble", so people will call out to someone helping or just having helped a "bubble". A couple of guys mentioned that I appeared to have been salivating over a woman last night. She was nice, but they're perspective and mine aren't quite the same. I get only a moment with customers ("guests"). I get more time spent with people at work -- one of whom I find, well, enchanting. I will sometime find out whether she is married. She likely is, so ... moot point, as well as the no-dating thing.

I was asked yesterday about my marital status, as a time-filler, I suppose. I mentioned divorce and she probed, how long was I married, and was stunned that someone could put off the divorce with stubbornness and stupidity, as did my ex. She was dating a guy and was hoping that she'd get, ya know ... a proposal by now, not to be (year three). I mentioned that at some point, commit to a direction and stick with it. Stay or go.

There is still, yet, another hottie at work who is dating a guy. for the term "boyfriend" came up. Wow! She's, well, I thought she had a man. She's fau-ine! She's the kind of woman whose elegance is evident. Wow! She walks -- moves, twists, turns, smiles ... ah, botanical gardens -- filled with sights and wonderful scents.

I don't know her at all, so maybe that's where it ends.

- title quote from "Star Trek", the orignial series

a way to associate me with where I work

Congratualtions Ophelia Luu for winning the coloring contest hosted by my workplace! Sad to say, I didn't get a photo of her to hang up at work, as I would if it were "my" place.

She's here too

over nothing

Well, there was an unhappy person yesterday, thankfully she did not go overboard on me. She spoke with the GM and she left unhappy and the GM was visually unhappy as well.

Well, tit for tat, she left and I just got to hear the "didn't like", "didn't do", and so on. So the GM later tells me that it started off minor and he thought it ended, but she stewed and steamed and was greatly unhappy.

I'm getting a feel for more paperwork and came home last night, unbespeckled by work, as I normally am. I was, virtually clean or free of much debris anyway.

The funny line I heard yesterday, was from a guy on the phone, "Well, what in the hell is on that thing", he questioned on an item I mentioned. I had a hard time not laughing.

not a sexual term

Nutjobs!
Okay, so you're "Christian". How about spreading the word, doing charitable things that you don't normally do. Why not re-read the bible. These people are nuts, complete nuts. I think they got caught in the spectacle and forgot the miracle.

I think the basis of Jesus being born in a manger or cave (as other stories would indicate), shows that this king of kings was born humbly with the meager comforts of the peasantry and was born at an "inopportune" time for the parents. He was tried hastily and was traded for Barabas when given a chance. He was brutalized and bore His own cross to be crucified then -- here's, the miracle, risen again.

I don't hear too many people trying to demonstrate His life in the desert alone, battling temptations of Satan and outright not eating.

I don't hear too many people walk among others, showing them the way to salvation, declining money or food.

If you want spectacle, show people the way and let them take that direction. The million-seat evangelical televised fluff is full of want. I guess I'm trying to write, "Be the miracle, not the spectacle".

Shopper

Work has sent me shopping, not just once. The requests today were, well, mundane -- something that anybody could get, but didn't.

dang it

With the series of random blah, I hope that I do not, indeed have diabetes. I will die, as ... well, I have a protein-poor diet and that is something that you need to do well with diabetes -- protein. I don't like meat, so I guess peanut butter will be my friend for a long, long time.

Systemic spin

I remember I had an allergic reaction to a medicine in hospital, oh ... around 1980 or so. I remember feeling of tumbling head over foot while lying flat, as I was on the bed.

Now, still a bit queasy and still digesting dinner ... rather like have spun in circles on a merry-go-round
the brain fluid flushed into other parts needing to pool regularly into order, but still not there yet, much like vertigo while sitting or just being. If I can clear my nose and eustasian tubes, I'll get clearer, faster.

Why would anyone take drugs? I certainly don't like this. I understand that people coming down from drugs feel so bad, they race to get drugs again.

Hangovers are worse, but this feels like crap.
Seasonal, I hope.

Stab it with their stealy knives

but they could not kill the beast (sleeplessness). I get notices that I owe and notices that I paid. I'm still under but getting closer to treading the water.

Little phrases are swirling in my head -- it is uncomfortable.

For a sidetrack, I think I bottomed out on my sugar level today while driving ... dizzy ... whoa!
I got dizzy for 60-130 seconds, then slowly got right. The old liver still works, thank you God! That happens when you skip out on eating for a while ... DOH! "[my name] needs food, badly!" +
"Please, don't shoot food."

The cigarettes at work didn't help any either. He-ad ache, slow, nose closed off, thirst, nausea. To think of the number of jobs where I was constantly exposed to that crap -- now, I can't deal with it hardly.

+ video/arcade game Gauntlet

The interview request

a Nutter Butter place emailed about "interview" for the night shift, wtih Kevin Ferguson ... or, uh, I mean, the evening/night shift. Hmmm nights, all nights ... how many nights?

What's the friggin' cost?

I mean, what's the friggin' pay? Oh, dear, dear, dear ... that didn't come out right, but that's what I want to know. How much, how often, do you prefer a hard or soft soled shoe? No, it isn't a pet shop, nor would I be a Pet Shop Boy, not for a day. I wouldn't be James Cameron, but an assistant

and it wouldn't be movies,

and it wouldn't be famous,

and it wouldn't be ... I don't know. How could I? I'll have a meeting with the Bobs and get back to you.

"You've been doing your homework"

How often do you hear that at your job? I got that today. I guess it's nice that someone noticed that I was, indeed, remembering and doing my homework. Sadly ... it never really ends.

fines keeper

My nephew didn't pay a ticket, got a second -- lost his license.

The lesson here: pay your ticket. If you spend you money on cigarettes and alcohol and don't pay your fine, no one can help you with your stupidity.

Who needs a heart, when a heart can be broken?

No, I'm not going to into a Tina Tuner song, complete with the hair, but rather introduce the concept of pain.

What hurts, rejection (I've been there often) or rejecting? I'd have to say being shot down sucks cadaver navel lint, but having to reject or dump another person who hasn't "done" anything to you, is like procology on King Kong. There's no easy way to do it, but just climb in and wade through, or perhaps self-urethra flushing and inspection.

I truly fear saying, "Uh ... I, er ... there's no good way to say this, 'don't want to date you".
Damn!

last quip of the day

"I didn't have the balls (to join the military)", a woman said today.

Well, duh. No balls!

bleary-eyed and sleepy

Rampelter -- one who thows rocks and Spring March-April born persons +

I am a Ram, born also under the Chinese Zodiac of the rooster "cock"

Ramcock -- stupid fool, a tool, serving only, never thinking.

And to think that I dispelled the zodiac as hogwash.

Ramcockpelter -- one who justly stones to death people unwilling to speak his mind and do the right thing

+ submission for game of Balderdash

I would like eleven lumps of sugar, please.

"I'm a monster; I'm not sweet enough."

Thanks Little Bear for putting into words, that which I could not.

hmmm

I sinned, she wept, and it got crappy from there ...
"Don't do it ... don't do it", my mind beckoned. "Please, don't ... it will turn sour", my mind shouted.

It wasn't ever wine, not really roses, but it spoiled just like them. It got sour, dried up, curled, blackened, smelled of simple death. A spark, what was thought as life, wasn't never even a heartbeat. Yet, there it smelled of death, just as bloated and foul and as recognizable as matted piles on the roadside.

Damn! Why, oh why did I do it. Damn! One fleeting breath of, "ah", then the smell of morning breath. I roll over in disgust ... I can't stand the whole thing. I can't stand me most of all.

@#$@!#$@!$@!$@#$!@$@*&%$(*%&$#@! Where was my !@#!#!@$! stop sign?!

"I didn't mean to turn you on", thanks Robert Palmer, though poorly timed. The radio mocks me as I exit, no flee. I'm not running from her, but me, but no matter where I go, there I am. Oh, like drinking drano, you hope to puke and reverse it, but no ... you're dead. I want to reverse it ... go back, say no ... have the balls to walk, have the balls to talk, like trying to lie

"The broken lamp? I don't know anything about it" Oh, any lie sounds good, but they all sound bad. I let my *^!#@! do the thinking.




Remorse ....

again.


I'm stupid,
a moron,
a sinful sot,
ruining everything,
I ...
I ...




I didn't do it. I had all of this in my head ... that is why I walked. I walked and had balls this time. I had the nerve to say no, to me.

I can almost smile, for I didn't make things worse by nodding blithly where I needed to command a "no"! I am today happier, for I said no. Let's hope that I remember this skit next time, so I don't regret, have remose and go sullen with fears and angst.

More crafty Southern Fried pickin'

Daggum homolexuals innfearin' wit our ways and all. I tell ya, it just ain't righ to have one mannnn readin to anudder ... it jus ain' natral

Dey gone in dere li-bary and starded readin'. I tell you it was disss-gustin'! Ruminds me of doze him-hawin', high faluting lawyaz ina state gov'ment! Day alwayz tryin' ta take my gunz! I sa---yy we runz dem homolexuals righ' out uh hee ... all dat book lurnin' dun nottin' fo' no body. I gots me a who' 8 yeas of schoolin' and walkd out in turd gade cuz dey wazn't teachin' me nuttin'. All dat numbers dun make me crazy -- ain't none of it true. 'Cept Cooter, who by-the-way iz da best damned road-side cooka eva, no body need ta count more'n twenty nohow.

Cooter, see, he gots kids ... more'n he can count, and he count lots bett'rn me.

Cooter one time fixed a mean ol' steak o' deer, no more'n four day ol'. Shit -- done nottin' wrong wit it ... weren't no huntin', just found dead on road. And we claim it first -- you got dat Elmer! We claim it first!

mullets for bullets

"getting the South into the war -- they want to take your liquor and keep you from having alcohol, especially beer"

They would like abolish NASCAR

And so, this propoganda poster worked ... the South entered the fighting and wanted to put a stop to those agin the shine

They weren't too happy to hear that these danged for'ners also married kin and had many wives -- much like themselves. They were happy to find Allah-Damnit to be a fun phrase to say, or "itterate" for those "lexuals"

I share a birthday with him, to who I hold no candle

Jefferson, not George and Weezie, but this man. Writer, who had an abolition of slavery in his first draft of the Constitution, author of much more, only later mired in the hypocracy of slavery and abolition. A "founding father" of our nation, once President, and with him, I share only a birthday. Greatness is achieved, not granted or inherited.

foul mouthed, dirty minded, I fit right in

I made a comment, "flash some leg", which was disregarded as a quip, an attempted, "ha ha", thakfully not festering into a sexual harrassment suit. My other visual remark was when a couple of guys spent their attention, not on me while helping them, but rather on the butt of a nice-looking woman/girl+ at work. She didn't seem to "enjoy" the knowledge that her butt got so much attention.

Other antics at work are from the septic mouths of persons spouting jokes -- demeaning to ethnic groups, sex, and general belittlement--unrestricted. Yet, some other comments are leading double-edged swords and inuendos cubed. "That's not what she said", and "That's what she said", "You said you want to [rude]?"

Sometimes it is, in most respects, a "good old boys'" club. Where the moon shines, your cousin is your wife and sister, and non-white know dey place. It is this "good old boy" retardity (not mentality) that I find disturbing. Sure ... dirty jokes, stuff I find insulting, that's just about anywhere you work, but the "Dat's da way it always bin ... ain' gonna be" is, well ... 16th century. "Them thar 'puters iz takin' over" I can hear tumble-drying in their minds.

+ I include "girl" as she is younger than myself

a lot like bitching

So ... I find error, point out error, then another and another. Be it nagging or bitching, be it "consulting" or "critiquing", it is bitching. I try to work through it ... saying nothing, rotating it in my mind, shift pieces like a Chinese Box, then I'll call it ... art, intriguing, useful, or just plain crap. Often, the "box" as it were is just plain crap ... much like I knew it when I first saw it.

So ... I'm not bitching as much, but I find that crap is crap is crap is crap. I just don't bother labeling it crap anymore, because I know it's crap. I can avoid some of it, for if you can step around crap, you don't get it on your shoe. That's what I'm trying to do now. I'm just trying to step in less of it, and know that remarking that it smells, for frantically worrying about my shoes -- unimportant. It's crap; avoid it; don't bother mentioning it to those around you.

"You don't have to tell me that my coffe is good. [She] buys crap!" +

+ Pulp Fiction

the man she marries

the second time, isn't the fun, exciting, bad boy -- the notorious A.S.S. (hole), but rather the stable, nice guy she poo-pooed so often. The man she marries is the man who was right, was right there, but now isn't all that interested in the 9 days old stew.

So, there she is -- "in tatters" + vying for the attention of that stable, nice guy, who now needs a lot of coaxing. Worse still, he isn't clay to be molded. Uh-uhn. Nope. He is what he is. She may or may not have kids, still ... life unhappy, perhaps her heart shattered a few times.

So, lowered expectations, you accept, tolerate, then find dis-satisfaction again. Now marriage three ... "Look! I'm comfortable with who I am now. Damn it if he doesn't appreciate me." So, then there is are the years of separation --- denial, of where things went wrong.

I am the stable guy, the nice guy, the ninth draft, far from the motorcyclist arrogant, abusive (on some level), pig, who is the favorite pick of women. "Gosh! He's such a bastard ... I want him!" Now, after being with Bastard, she finds a nice guy, but ... he is much more passive and so ... failure again. Somewhere down the road, she finds, "this guy", seems attentive, courteous. She tries to interest him, but her years of baggage, she's never unpacked or disgarded win her "no points" with the stable guy who now can opt out.

I'm the marrying guy, the one who is the ninth draft ... the dead center pick ... not the end and not the first. The middle-of-the-roader, when she can't find love, she'll accept patient affection, but be bitter that it isn't love. She's bitter, not really with him, though he gets the brunt of it. She's bitter with picking ass, after bastard, after selfish jerk. So, guy four has no real competition other than he looks a little like the ghosts of her past.

So ... is love worth it, you wonder. When you find that you lump together because you can, not because you fall in love -- therein is life and "love" at forty.

+ Rolling Stones

You say it's your birthday?!

It's late, but I bid a very happy and fond
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
to ISJ (J Q), born on the first of April
and to my sister Debbie "Doodie" born on the second of April

soon is the birthday of my neice, on the eighth

Dear Tehran

Those are April Fool's fireworks heading your way, not nukes.
























April Fool's! They are nukes. Much of the world has had it's fill of you.
Let's see ... '70s, US hostages.
Now ... UK hostages.

Wow ... tigers don't change their stripes!

So long, farewell, auf wiedersehn, goodbye!

Dew

Like life, fleeting, though beautiful in the time it is there. Spring, dew, droplets, magic in the moment.

How I am at work

Or perhaps, more generally, in life
FOOL

[oops, playing the Superfriends game, I now have to drink]
.....
Have a fun April Fool's Day!

Work erratic

M: 11-4 (likely out of town later that day)
T: 10 - 3 (FW)
W: 8 - 4:30
R: 2 - 10
F: 5 pm - 1:30 am
S: 5 pm - 1:30 am
N: OFF
M: 11 - 8

Shouting out names

I wound up sounding like Phil Harris from Disney's Robin Hood. "Fortunes told!"

Wearing work

Well, twice I wore what I make ... stuff at work. I bumped into a person carrying stuff. Bam -- I'm wearing it! Later, this same person accidently squirted herself with spray -- wearing it.

Special to some, 'special place in the sun'

So, in a conversation, alcohol was regarded with sin and bad stuff, while this plant above was common, held higher than cigarettes -- so terrible a substance. Drugs, by any other name, would smell just as foul.

"I'll see you after work"

Well, hours later, she's still comfortable with me, enough to talk candidly about a few things. The sad bit is ... I'm really not attracted to her. + Now, how to say that, especially when my goal has been to get her to do the right things for her life -- take the opportunity she has been given (work-related).

Damn, damn, damn!

I think I shall never talk again, it gets me involved when I really wish to opt out.

+ Hey, what's with all the luggage? Oh, that! That's just my emotional baggage.

Stopping hotrod

Squealer was stopped last night. I passed him on my way home last night. Ah, an officer probably had an interesting ticket for that guy. Let's see ... reckless driving. Dude, you're goin' to court!

I saw, I bought, I buy again

I remarked that the phones at work were bad. They agreed. I then had to find phones to replace them. I shouldn't have opened my big mouth. I found a phone, bought it as per the GM's request. "Hmm ... okay. Buy another one."

[excited music sound]

"Another shrubbery?!"

"Or you can securely lock the doors with these anchovies."

So, this morning I will buy another phone. Thankfully, they did indeed pay me for the phone I brought to them.

+ the dialogue is sampled from Monty Python's Search for the Holy Grail

jobs, not here

I looked ... axe flung into the air ... then I lick smacked the axe and found no gold nor any silver. +

+ reference to "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer", Yukon Cornelias' character

Snap, crackle, March

Fireworks!


It's flippin' March dudes! I think you are starting a bit early. I guess, as long as it isn't 1 a.m., I'm alright with it.

Killarney Castle

Killarney Castle
Originally uploaded by MDH, II.

This was found in a small town in Indiana. No ... it wasn't a real castle.

Bud light

Nature buds and spring blooms ... cast away the cloudy gloom

A day off that isn't a day off

I was scheduled a day for a class, but the GM forgot whether it was Tuesday or Thursday. I am pretty sure that would take some hours of my regular schedule, but who knows. I know that I'm paid for it. It would be nice, even if it ate up a day off that I could get a little larger paycheck for one half-day of paid work.

As consolation prizes, it would be clean -- I wouldn't smell like my general work and I would be finished and in town by 4.

I have yet to google calendar it, for I do not yet know the date. That being the case, I have not requested off a day that I was going to ask off, for I have another distant "opportunity" as it were.

crashing waves

crashing waves
Originally uploaded by MDH, II.

As seen from a walk around the lake.

An unexpected walk and talk ... by the lake.

Bike shop where, if I had money, I could have bought a nice bike.

squealer

Last night there were two cycles ahead of me in traffic. There was also a punked and roughly assembled car in the far lane. At the color verde, the car peeled off, far ahead of the cylces. Interestingly enough, no cops were around. The cycles could have easily passed the fool, but were wise enough not to risk tickets. The car driver, in a last, ballsy and triumphant brainless macho move, squealed his tires before pulling off to another street. God willing, there weren't any children in the street.

Man, that driver was so ... me, years ago.

thinking about how the day went

It reminded me of this.

Banker's hours webpage?

I went to the site of my 401/403 caretaker and it isn't working today. Huh. Webpages not open on weekends, like some businesses. Imagine that! I didn't know you could do that!

I'm none-too impressed.

So, I guess you shouldn't smoke, right?

Video shows graphically, why people should not smoke. Simple, real, but smokers won't learn. I don't credit smokers with intelligence, as smoking is dangerous -- no matter from under what stupid rock you got any other ideas.

couldn't crawl

My car ... inefficient in some ways. It has the climbing power of a leaf. The leaf, powerless on its own, could reach higher with the growth of the stem.

-- huh?

My car has trouble maintaining speed on hills, even, what I consider simple ones. I am seeking another car, despite the fact that I will undoubtedly be spending more on gas. I've got little money, so I wonder where I can get one.

wants a hottie

Man at work -- seeks hottie about which to obsess. End of story.






Wait, okay. Married man with child asked if there were hot women there tonight. I completely feigned interest, especially since two ladies who work there -- I find quite attractive. Quote the [my name] evermore.

How in the?

It feels that my feet are getting stronger, if such a thing could be. Of all the things that I'd like stronger -- my mind, back, arms, legs, hands ... I get strong feet. What gives?

Work week 6

• M 11 - 4
• T - OFF
• W 11-8
• R 2 - 9
• F 2- 10
• S 11 - 8
• N 12 - 8
• M 11 - 4

Top of the charts, gossip down

I am in a position to hear some gossip ... I wish there were none, but that isn't the case. Ever lurking ... the signs, hints and allegations. A phrase four generations from the beginning ...
"JoBeth eats fire with envy."
Uh ... did you embelish anything on the story you got?
Maybe.

and now a moment to make plans

Ah ... I saw this lovely woman again today. She works there, but I must ask her if she is married. It seems to me that she might be ... alas for me if she is. The code prohibits jewelry, hence ... no sign of marriage.

I thought about her and I thought about one other woman who tenderly melted my heart once. Even married, I chatted with her -- transported to high school with friendly chats and little hearts when our eyes met. It wasn't to be, for she had married and that was that. She had gained weight, and found her equally attractive -- I guess I wasn't looking at her per se, but of hope, dream, or some deep romantic thing I won't bother to cover here.

I guess it's springtime and my heart is aching, but I'll settle right now for playful sexual banter, as I had today with another woman.

Pay my bills!

There's a radio station that will select a random person and pay that person's utility bill, if, the person submits the bill and responds to the station selecting him/her within ten minutes. There was a completely stupid woman who called wanting the bill to be paid, but hadn't faxed it. She didn't have a fax, she didn't work, but wanted her minutes (obviously a cell phone) paid as well as a bill. Now, let me get this straight:

You don't have a job, you're on a cell phone, and you plan to drive over to the station tomorrow to drop off a bill?

I suggest a good smack on the head.

FW doesn't like me

I reviewed the survey for Mc

Indianapolis

Man! I just can't win! I can't find anything within FW, dog gone it!

apprehensive

I got a survey from Mc ... I have yet to complete it. I will do so today and send it off. I got good rest last night, I hope that my mind is rested too.

Books resting

I have a manual that rests right now. I need to spend about two hours on it sometime to finish a few things, then review and prepare for a class then a test that will happen -- sometimes, maybe in May. The area M was there yesterday, after the company person came through to inspect the facility -- cleanliness, adherance to policy, yadda, yadda, yadda.

At one time, the area M had a (required to be professionally done) sign for the place. He, however, held it like a phallis of 25'. One wonders, really, how such a guy holds the job that he does, then I remember that he's flat -- never having held any other job. He had never worked for any other company. That, my friends, makes a person a little looney.

The GM remarked to me in what ways the area M is good, but candidly remarked that he felt the area M lacked some professionalism. "Hey, Dawg", the area chatted on the phone, might be an example of this.

Anyway ... should get back to bookwork. Homework isn't just for school.

I also put my foot in my mouth and am buying a phone for work today. Let's hope that it wasn't an error to speak of it. I will be compensated if it dies. Oh, uh ... I mean, they will re-imburse me.

Dorkis

I was "stationed" as it were in an area with which I have little practical experience. Well, trial by fire, I'm there. At one point, I asked, "What do you use?" I got no response. Again I asked ... nothing. I randomly pulled up something, "do you use this?" "No."

Apparently some methods of training require you to guess, make mistakes and be called out on them, much like "Office Space", where showing initiitve is punished. The GM is better, but the lowers are, well ... one in particular has an unkind streak that lies just below a young face.

I am an old fart in relation to many others there. The other M's there are twenties. The GM is older than I am. I am learning to cope with the many inconsistencies, thinking to myself how I would like to have my own place to run it differently in many respects.