hmmm

I sinned, she wept, and it got crappy from there ...
"Don't do it ... don't do it", my mind beckoned. "Please, don't ... it will turn sour", my mind shouted.

It wasn't ever wine, not really roses, but it spoiled just like them. It got sour, dried up, curled, blackened, smelled of simple death. A spark, what was thought as life, wasn't never even a heartbeat. Yet, there it smelled of death, just as bloated and foul and as recognizable as matted piles on the roadside.

Damn! Why, oh why did I do it. Damn! One fleeting breath of, "ah", then the smell of morning breath. I roll over in disgust ... I can't stand the whole thing. I can't stand me most of all.

@#$@!#$@!$@!$@#$!@$@*&%$(*%&$#@! Where was my !@#!#!@$! stop sign?!

"I didn't mean to turn you on", thanks Robert Palmer, though poorly timed. The radio mocks me as I exit, no flee. I'm not running from her, but me, but no matter where I go, there I am. Oh, like drinking drano, you hope to puke and reverse it, but no ... you're dead. I want to reverse it ... go back, say no ... have the balls to walk, have the balls to talk, like trying to lie

"The broken lamp? I don't know anything about it" Oh, any lie sounds good, but they all sound bad. I let my *^!#@! do the thinking.




Remorse ....

again.


I'm stupid,
a moron,
a sinful sot,
ruining everything,
I ...
I ...




I didn't do it. I had all of this in my head ... that is why I walked. I walked and had balls this time. I had the nerve to say no, to me.

I can almost smile, for I didn't make things worse by nodding blithly where I needed to command a "no"! I am today happier, for I said no. Let's hope that I remember this skit next time, so I don't regret, have remose and go sullen with fears and angst.