More crafty Southern Fried pickin'

Daggum homolexuals innfearin' wit our ways and all. I tell ya, it just ain't righ to have one mannnn readin to anudder ... it jus ain' natral

Dey gone in dere li-bary and starded readin'. I tell you it was disss-gustin'! Ruminds me of doze him-hawin', high faluting lawyaz ina state gov'ment! Day alwayz tryin' ta take my gunz! I sa---yy we runz dem homolexuals righ' out uh hee ... all dat book lurnin' dun nottin' fo' no body. I gots me a who' 8 yeas of schoolin' and walkd out in turd gade cuz dey wazn't teachin' me nuttin'. All dat numbers dun make me crazy -- ain't none of it true. 'Cept Cooter, who by-the-way iz da best damned road-side cooka eva, no body need ta count more'n twenty nohow.

Cooter, see, he gots kids ... more'n he can count, and he count lots bett'rn me.

Cooter one time fixed a mean ol' steak o' deer, no more'n four day ol'. Shit -- done nottin' wrong wit it ... weren't no huntin', just found dead on road. And we claim it first -- you got dat Elmer! We claim it first!