What is my job

I'll first give you the short version. I am a phone rep (resentative) who fields calls for people needing parts and checking on parts. I know, it doesn't sound like a complex enough job to warrant much money.
The end of the week got better and I started doing more work.


The long version. Using a proprietary SQL I research parts, inventory and customer invoice and information finding the parts requested (often techs calling in don't have the part numbers or don't have the right numbers). I also have to find where orders are, why orders aren't shipping and find logistical solutions (inventory control). Now, couple with with having a glitchy SQL which is version 5.2 after people had years with version 2.3. The systems don't run the same.

The switch to the new system didn't import all the most recent data and so about 6 weeks of data (orders, invoices and the like) were not imported. They were not lost, but they are not available in the new system. To find prices for techs and mechanics, I have to refer to old printed material on discounts for people -- one large company gets 35% disc on items $200 +, etc. It is a lot to remember. Now, the interesting part of the job is that I have to find parts that are long-since retired from machines that are too old to run. I have had to go through schematics of appliances (breakdowns) finding old part numbers or descriptions and use the SQL to hopefully find a match. On Friday, I got to learn the magic of light bulb designation through dimensions and type all to answer one question.

I like my team. The number three guy in the company, who has the largest office on site (numbers 2 and 1 don't work in that building) is nice, motivational and down-to Earth. He interviewed me, but knows marketing and sales more than tech stuff like computers, SQL and more typical programming languages. In a few weeks I will earn hourly more than I did at PH, and thereafter every "hurdle" I pass, my raises come in.

I sit on my butt all day --- bad, but I do work and have little down time. When I first started they didn't have a computer for me that worked. On Friday, my headset for the phone failed. The servers they have running are maxed out due to the data transfer issues. When that is hammered out -- 9 weeks, about, the server will get faster and the work will be easier on everyone. It's nice that I have my own desk. It is 100% smoke free. The only food smell is from the lounge that reeks of microwave food.

The other funny thing about my job is listening to people who haven't mastered their only language English. Hey, ya'll gotter pah't det fit dis here gaskit? Yeah, I figger dat its dis won-AE-IE-OU-YU-THEN- sayvun-AEF-AN

So, that's 1AEIOU7FN, right?

For more complex math, please see Net clost *1.15, then try vendor cost does not equal List Price --> change in inventory management

++ now add returns, faxing, sales orders

later, quotes, new solicitation

Drunks of Hazard County

Go Go Kosovo!

Yeah, let freedom ring and may the democrat republic never waver, never yield! Go freedom!

Congratulations Kosovo! Spending my tax dollars on THAT nation makes sense!

moment of unrest

Playtime with the Cramers

Legendary disappointment

"I am Legend." --- many holes, much unexplained, not a feel good movie, lackuster ending, and they broke a rule in good movie making concerning animals. You just don't do it!

So ... this athiest is bad at math, right?

from the "Calculate Your God Delusion Index", I see that the authors can't draw a simple number line. That's funny! I'm not "Batshit crazy" and I can draw a number line. I found the first two levels of delusion interesting, then it fell into 'operational psychosis' at higher levels.

Well, the creators (ha ha) spent some time with this and still didn't get a number line right. Good going duds (not dudes).

Well deserved

I do wrong and deserve the berating I get. So, I deserve the Hell that I calming walk to visit.
It's a shame ... I'll miss Heaven.

On the same path, eagerly walking to Hell ...

I made the day of a girl who had a nasty one ... she called me wanting to thank me, so sweet

I turned on my phone too late (I turned it off at work in the afternoon to save my battery), a friend was in trouble and desperate. He was out of sorts ... confused (from alcohol or drugs) needing help. In the end, his distance too great for me to reach him quickly, I sent officers to do a wellness check on him. I will try again today to check on him.

I am a little help to a person feeling quite alone, okay make that a few people who feel alone and desperate. One particular girl is a survivor of many hellish child experiences. I will never forgo being her friend, as she needs friends. I just wish I could live a life where she could have a "safe haven" being free to walk in, sit, and talk with me.

Loneliness ... a sad curse. Apparently there is a vast amount of loneliness despite the number of people on the planet. Of course, if you can't be yourself around someone, then you are still alone from yourself.

I have met lost souls and persons with many pains casting long shadows on the ground. I have had the opportunity for some people to cast their shadow on me ... let go of some of the past, giving it to me to remember and them to forget. I never wanted the burden, but it is nice to take the load for someone so loaded and often so young.

If I existed only to carry the sadness of others, it would destroy me. I am thankfully that I am also reminded that I am loved despite my evil nature, despite that I do wrong. Being loved, truly loved, is what a soul ultimately wants.

looked into vacation idea ...

WHOA! Skip all that or at least one place I looked! It was nearly as expensive as Disney World.

dirty man

Talked dirty this morning ... "my lips touch yours ...", was naughty this evening on the phone with my special someone.

Yes, MR ... I am going to Hell, I got it.

I want to have different circumstances for sure, but it is what it is.

closer than before

I have had calls and txt messages from work more than when I worked there. It is nice to know that I was liked while I was there. I got a call from a cute girl ... nice that I made her day. I also spoke with another friend from work. She's great, but is stuck with her situation -- long time bf with waning interest in him. Frisky fun girl who never "sowed her wild oats" instead settled down quickly and perhaps too much so.

she had a bad day ...

nothing went right, frazzled ... sad

I did something right
and she cried

It isn't revenge, though she is the girl who made me cry. I showed her that despite her convictions ... someone does care and like it or not .. gives a damn!

.... pop, oh goody, we're online

I started my stark job with little hope or prospect. One woman, the team leader is a manic depressant -- scary mix as the moods are like drafts in a building. Whoa -- cool, whoa hot! Another guy there is large, not quite as strong as Bob in Incredibles, but looks equally silly hunched over the desk the space surrounding him like an ill-fitting suit. Another woman eats like a rabbit -- munch, much, much -- she's rail thin. Another woman there does the same thing -- real big. I guess life isn't fair.

Day four, I have a computer that works, somewhat. I have a phone system that has my name, and have all the programs that I should have. Apart from handling phone calls -- the bulk of the job, I have done all else ... entered in paperwork (Brazil's landmass worth of paperwork) including shipping, returns, invoices, faxing, (where are they) slips for shipments that are lost or late.

They moved from one system to another and there was a major problem with data transfer. About 6 weeks did not completely, and in some cases at all, load onto the new program. The program therefore made these items limbo -- did they ship, did they not ... back order?

This is partially why they need more people there. The backlog of fix this defeats the new business that they need. I am working on learning it all. Today I was able to pitch in and do some of the backlog. Anything to help the team and eventually move on to where I do sales and the potential for raises.

I like the team, but need to ask for an odd request of my direct super --
can I extend my hours there (not getting overtime) in order to have a more realistic lunch of 60 minutes?

We'll see how that goes. I will wait til I put in a week, I think.

Day 3 ...

I did a little more today. I got my computer and it was working. The problem is getting over the hurdle of the interface. There are four programs that they use. There is a fifth that many use, but it is the "old" system. Those who used it, love it and hate the new system.

The new program has advantages and disadvantages. It uses Windows capabilities and defeats other Windows capabilities. Because of the manner of data storage, the SQL is limited and needs more versatility and wildcards. What the users forget is that the system has to track down millions or billions of part numbers and correlate that to orders, inventory and more. Of course it should require some human-factor thinking (part number containing "7") should not be an allowable function -- consuming very valuable resources. On the same token, you may not know much about the part number so you should be able to do more with description, regardless whether you know the manufacturer.

This is also true if company A is bought be company B. Now, Company A might continue to produce the part and name it Company B; may manufacture a new part with Company A; outsource old part to Company C. This is where the complexity begins. Okay, I understand that some person may not know the part number, but they ought to have an idea what it is, right?

Part of my job will be finding parts for people who don't know the part numbers.
Another part of my job will be to order parts, ensuring that we have the parts (informing the customer approximae time of delivery) and getting prices.

The prices are the biggest mess of all.

Service Company F has a certain volume of business and gets __% off list price, unless ...
there is only a Net price listed
If the sale is a quote, numbers are rounded to integer dollars and freight is seemingly arbitrarily guessed.
I can see few instances when my team members actually calculate weight of parts for shipping.

I have a lot to learn, but I can, if given the chance, do much now.

last bit of last day

pick up G, for she doesn't have license or car (there)

drop off G for same reasons

got back round 10pm
tired on first day ... boring, not a good start

What stayed with me was feeling of love, hugs and kisses I got.
I'm an ass, bastard, jerk, putz, numbnutz, but still got rewards for effort, for trying (other than trying others' patience)

In my mind, would like to see one girl turn to novelist
one girl turn to nurse
one girl get her humor and childhood back -- then become a program manager for multiple facilities
one man finish his degree (after changing twice) to physics then marry the nurse

see one woman end her relationship with guy in favor of being a person more in control of her life (mother of two) and her defunct bf who is on the chronic fatigue side

In confession, strongly like one woman, have a fading crush on the program manager -- wish her my best

I would like to see the one girl develop into woman and defy all odds and be exceed her potential. Uncomfortable with herself and success, she will, for a long time, suffer

Chris

Chris Hogan

* thanks Dave

She

Little girl, baby ... I've never been a father, "daddy", uncle yes. Little girl seeks me out ... wants to write me. Again, I am spoken about in corners, shadows, "is it okay". It hurts that I can't call her "little girl", "daughter", "baby". Her generous nature is natural ... she doesn't know it hurts that others care about me. I hardly share a thing in my mind, let alone my true passions ... this little girl ... melts my heart


a stone giant brought to his knees

softy inside

Girl who would be woman ... the Nobel Peace Prize could not bring pride as great as this. "daddy" would melt me as sure as the sun a candle ... young friend, I cherish the moment I read your letter, you honor me with any letter even ... da da da "X"

I am touched

first day at work

I just watched someone work today. I nearly fell asleep. Hey, guys! Why don't you go ahead and let me work, eh?

burdon of youth

Here is Joshua! I'm sure that the grandparents will eventually let Jeff and Paula hold him.

I would like to post Christopher pictures, but ... I don't have any,

ahem, Dave, JJ?

sweet girl broke my heart

It was my last day with many people last night. There was a kid there who broke my heart completely apart. She asked me for my mailing address so that she could write me.

That hurt! It still hurts when I think of it.

Dear sweet girl. I hope I get to read something from her.

It was the gesture I'll remember ... even if she never writes.

She coupled it with hugs.

Again ... hurts that I never was a daddy, happy that I might have been a good man around some people. I was considered good role model at work and uncle to at least one person (not the aforementioned girl).

Like a marinette

I am cutting my strings from work. I hope to finally burst out into, first "F---ing hurray!" Then, "I've got no strings to hold me down..."




Italian version

Counting down

four
more
days

I was very naughty, bad, insolent, sent to the corner, bad, bad man


Oh, and I was asked, in the future, if I would like to attend a wedding (years in the making), perhaps in a wedding party. I, of course, accepted. The couple are two kids who met at work, happily twitter pated with each other.

You have new crap!

Well, no. It's old crap redone. I looked at cash last night... huh, $1500 short. I don't think so. I called the GM and surprise, surprise, surprise (Jim Neighbors as Gomer Pyle), somebody didn't enter in money. You'all accost me for errors when I get this? B---S---! Take that job and love, I ain't workin' there no more!

I have four days left and it is much like a man waiting parole ... "time, it take time..."+

I came in yesterday and a vital piece of equipment was ... not work, go figure! Later, the computer was as reliable as France as an ally in a war. I had to restart it. Pretty soon, the hillbilly state of affairs there will be clear. You have four computers and none of them work. How is this different than white trash and redneck?

+Scorpions, "Still Lovin' You"

feeling bad about it

No, I won't write about my "fling thing", but rather that a girl at work approached me, pouting, "You're leaving" and I am to feel guilty about it. I don't feel guilty for getting a better job -- no way! I feel sad that I will not directly see these people, and kids, grow and move on. It isn't like they don't plan on leaving anyway ... why should I feel guilty.

I care, and that is why I don't belong. I was reminded that I was one of a few people who cared, therefore unlike the other managers. I was an aberration, shock to the system. I didn't fit and had to go, better by choice.

I guess I'm Guilty, and not just of leaving.

days ago, a "wonderful" trip home

Later I got a white out. Nice.

dissolution solution

Be it Neil Diamond's "Love on the Rocks" or "To the Left" it is the commonplace for divorce. I am no exception. I will honestly type that my marriage was stupid ... doomed before its creation. We had a bad relationship and the marriage didn't miracle away any problems. It's almost better if the divorce happens early, as later there are so many deep wounds that by time the actual paperwork is complete, these once beloved happy couple are often caged pit dogs, fighting for survival.

I therefore have, with some reservations, respect for those who live together without marriage, for they can somewhat keep autonomy, never sharing their legal debt. I will also submit that marriage ought to be more difficult, since divorce itself is easy -- agreeing on division of assets, debt, and custody are the stumbling blocks.

I believe, men too, fall into the allure of the marriage being a fairy tale where wishes come true, hearts unite and arguments are few and far between. Then, cold fate moves in the house for a "short stay", a financial hardship, too many hours away from each other, interference from others -- ghosts taking their grizzly toll on a happy couple.

When you fall in deep, true love, the person should be so lovable that you would enjoy them, some limitations apply, if they were injured in an accident; jobless for a long time; shockingly opposite of you in a critical way (cleanliness vs sloppiness for example); luckless; suffering from a deflated ego, etc.

The marriage should be an equitable trade -- since the relationship isn't ONE person, then ONE person can't make all of the decisions. You love a person for who they are, their limitations notwithstanding. If you find that one true love -- not only who "rocks your world", but who would love you equally -- in fair weather, and bitter despair. Would you hold hands, hug, kiss, playfully talk, grow and die together if you were dirt poor -- incalculably rich? Would you call that person friend -- true friend, sharing every detail of your life with her/him?

Would you tell them the bad things you did; the good things you did; what you wanted to do; what you'd like to do? Could you ask them for a favor, be glad to do them a favor? I think the faith -- lack of fullness, wholeness, complete friendship is a big cause of marriage failures.

"Money problems" is often cited, but there are many happy poor couples, who hobble together, slowly, surely, hand in hand, together. Death of your one true love only means you have to wait to see them again. You can see that person again, with you, the voice, essence, being. A friend would tell you when you are wrong, support you in need, pick you up when you are down. A friend loves you, no matter your "faults", for who you are matters more.

If you have a friend who is a spouse, then you have a great thing, all other limitations can be "worked around". If your spouse was not a deep, close, personal friend, then you aren't close enough. If you have a "I don't share this" with your spouse ... mate, one true love, then with whom do you share it?

In my case, while I shared much of me -- she needed me for survival -- for her frailty was self-perpetuated. She favored her sadness. I could not call her a friend when she needed more than the two of us combined. She could not give for she always needed. She was not, in the end, a friend on whom I could rely, not nearly close enough.

I write this because of a recent divorce of friends who seemed like a good couple. I don't know their story. I know of another couple who may split and a different couple whose non-marriage is indicative of its invalidity.

Other cases is that you have couples who never really were honest with each other and others didn't explore each other -- who each was, knowing yourself first, the other person second -- that person finding out about you what you didn't know.

damn

Either through asexual reproduction or through other means, my bills are ... well, mating or something.

I paid you.

I'm his little brother.

Well, looking at the dollar figure I wouldn't call you the "little" brother.

more debt ... yeah!

It looks like I'll be asking for any and all overtime at my new job.

oregano sasperilla (speaking forward in reverse)

clocks cleaned out with brushes and haste, mind aflutter, bats flee their roost
my cluttered mind filled with messes old, present and new from work
finally I can sweep my mind free of them
lost to me
I am sad -- my ties to a few people will be severed
I am not sorry I am going, but rather sorry that I don't get to contact these good people

I know heartily they will not seek out me
____________________________
With a promise of a good day and time off for good behavior and work, I shall finish two resumes for people, begin again grant searching for business grants so that I might consult on my off hours

So much to do, 'so much to say, so much to say'+

+ Dave Matthews

pwescious

bloodshot eyes and a taste for conversation lead me to friends at Granite City tonight. I met up with friends I haven't seen in year and talked a good bit. Good news about Jeff & Paula -- Joshua was early. Congratulations to them, now three, this new family!

Gosh ... friends or be with new family ...
flip coin

huh, family came up first ... imagine that! Good choice!

Anyway, expensive, but neat Granite City was ok. I liked the staff, the night, the reminiscing and our happy spirits. With a short line of drinks I favored Miller Light, who would have guessed?

Anyway, it was great seeing Tim, Todd, Mike, Keith, Dave (who was able to get away). Cheers and may we met up again!

word to the wise

When at a hotel, do not rest your key card next to your cell phone or other credit cards as it may become demagnetized. I experienced this twice. I think I have learned my lesson.

Heat on high before I

Heat on high before I got here. I would guess about 95 degrees

fog rain pain... friend lost

fog rain pain... friend lost her job today. gloomy in so many ways. at least she knows she can call me. an ear

seeing eye kid

There was a family last night who came in, party of four ... one on a leash. Now, I've seen child leashes, generally something attached to the wrist, but some are on a harness (nylon or cotton/poly). This family had a leather leash, like a dog, attached to their child. I was filled with disgust. Look, I can understand that RARE children are otherwise very difficult to control. Resorting to a leather leash ... the issue lies not with the child, but the lack-of parenting.

to make some one happy ...

On my other arm I wrote, "Tigger Lover"

It is rough, not very good, but done in 3 minutes. It produced the desired effect ... a laugh, a smile.

short time there

I sense implications coming .. I'll accept them with gratitude.
"I'm going to hell", because I didn't want to drive back !stinking! town to return later in possibly bad !stinking! weather. "I'm going to hell" more likely because of doubt, not sin ... for redemption and salvation keeps you alive, not being good.

I'm going to use a hotel. I've stayed there before. It was quite comfortable. I like the ground floor better, but ... it is "all good". The staff there are friendly, sadly I've never had the chance to see the pool. My work hours eliminate my chance to relax fully at the hotel. It's clean, fresh, calm. It shall be my last stay in that town, to my knowledge. I missed out on the whirlpool room ... only $10 more.

Some other hotels within a block are $25 - $40 more. Yikes. I bid thee ado Worktown starts with W

Westchester, Washington, Williamsburg, Westboro, whatever

WTF and bad line of thinking

"would you have done it if her husband were standing there?

mmmno... no you wouldn't have.

hell... that's where you're goin'."

The recipient of the massage is not and has not been married. It's really charming that you should bring this up though.
If, when I held her arm across her belly so that I didn't touch her wrongfully, would that have been a problem?
If I mentioned that her boyfriend could finish other areas like her legs, as those were areas I wasn't doing, was that wrongful? If after the massage, she talks candidly about a personal doctor's appointment and her fears about it, is that wrongful?

I guess I should have pointed out the obvious that it wasn't sexual ... like the title said. I guess I should have written that I tried to get this young lady to think about a situation that was worrisome. In that I stated that I had stuff for her if she pursued the same vocation as I had (teaching).

I should have explained my wonder as to how someone could be so willing to be physically intimate with another person, yet be closed off -- telling little of themselves (herself), hidden in a "you wouldn't want to know", in other words, 'I'm not saying'. My point of the post was just that. How the @#%%@% you got going to hell for inappropriate conduct with a woman without her husband around is, well odd.

I'm happy you get to damn others. I wouldn't want the job. I'd never get it right.

Sloppy driver out of luck

I pulled into town and there was a car off the road on the exit ramp. The young driver was wearing only shorts. "I'm going to a basketball game" was his claim. His cell phone was about out. I let him borrow mine. He didn't have AAA, and called a friend to come pick him up to take him to the game. Bad luck, dude!

sensual, intimacy

There was no sex. I massaged someone at work today. She'd never had anyone massage her before. That's a damn shame -- she's sweet and great! I tried to soothe her -- relax her, rub away her pain. While her pain remained, she was soothed, calmed. I don't feel ashamed, but rather stronger.

should the need arise

Well, "I need" are the words, unspoken, but known. I've had an "I need" semi-permanent situation before. Rather like potholes on the street -- never enough, never complete, always, always, always. Hmmm.

In lighter news, I get the impression that I'll be missed, but despite the donation of my phone number, no one has called, so ... just a nice little thanks and out is fine.

Last flexing

Sunday 3:00 - 9:30
Monday 5:00 - close
Tuesday 11:00 - 5:00
Wednesday 5:00 - close
Thursday 5:00 - close
Friday 2:00 - 10:00
Saturday 5:00 - close
Sunday 4:00 - 9:00

late night

Nearly the last late night like this. I am counting the days.

Robert Lovely's great idea

Less then a dollar investment for a wholesome feeling.

What's so special about the second?

It's Groundhog Day ... again, and welcome to lovely Indiana where bouts of Winter are mild and generally just dreary with clouds and invisible sun. On the bright side, there are fewer accidents and there's generally a more upbeat atmosphere. Moreover, on a personal note this year is birth year of Christopher and Joshua+ as early as they are. So, six more weeks of moderate Winter like normal. I like this year so far. It has had many ups and few downs. Thanks God for the ups ... last year was a downer, for sure!

+ technically not yet as of this writing

more work phrases

"Oh, I seen it."

"Now here's the proper way to ..."

"Who did this?"

"Could you come here please?"

"I've told him that."

"Let me ask you a question."

finger pointing and grief

I was at work and I got, "I'm mad at you", and pouting. Yes, the old man is leaving. I was a good man to many people, uncle a a couple, friend to many. I am sorry to leave most of the people there, but not at all sorry to leave the job. Underpaid, under-appreciated, long, long hours. Nope, the job can go without me.

Indiana has coyotes

I can be certain of this because I saw one on my way to work today. This solitary trotter was going through a field off the highway today. Yeah ... I have confirmation and moreover am a witness to them being here.

Thanks, Johnny

rather

I'd rather kill a beer than a deer. I don't eat most meats, so, at least least I can drink a beer. I won't eat a deer. The proverbial beer hunter. I no longer keep trophies.

draw a happy place

It was a simple request ... she complied with this. Artist undisclosed as she didn't want recognized.

tied to me

Charlie made up a game. He started with a "ninja star" that could be flung around. Obviously it was plastic. He wanted a string tied to it to use as a grappling hook. Later, he tied it to me and hurled me around with it, as I had elastic strings on my sweatshirt. He had a very good time.

He is attached to me and I am tied to him. It is a pleasant bond, one I don't wish to break, no matter how delicate.

Give it away, give it away, give it away now...

God save me from myself!

I think I help others, yet I hurt others. There is no happy medium and the path to Hell is paved with good intentions.

Punch Out!

While the voting continues ... Rudy looks punched out. Round seven coming up.

I wouldn't mind an online game of Punch Out! with the candidates, Romney, Edwards, Clinton, Obama, McCain, et al.

ding, ding

body blow, body blow, right, right, body blow

ding ding ding ding

more allusions to Airplane!

no one has to know you're incompetent.
Don't say that word!

No, not a "bu", a bomb.

Management, its where you facilitate other things getting done, but that's not important right now.

Got to concentrate, concentrate, concentrate, concentrate (echoed). Now calling in sick for the thirteenth time, Moody Rudy.

"... and management's getting LARGER!"

"... and management's over [done]; over."

"The management line is for loading and unloading only, there is no working in the management line."

"It looks like I chose the wrong week to stop looking for another job."

gonna blow this joint

I thought you meant you were going to go ... quit, leave, pursue another job. Oh, I am. I just have one little thing left to do when no one is there.

Stand clear!

I would just go, but ... that is not my way.

[Earth-shattering kaboom]

Ill-fitting because she's wholesome

There's a woman at work, well ... 19 who married in June. She and her husband live in one town. She is attending school in another town (my hometown) and works in my work town. I wonder why she is so far flung from work ... because she is a good person, wholesome. I got her to share her wedding photos -- others were delighted to see as well.

I never really saw that she was "an odd piece" in the puzzle at work of different pieces to make a whole. She's always -- not in the group. She is taking nursing classes and one class is photography. As that is an interest of mine, no secret at work, she agreed to bring in some pictures from her assignment.

She's a neat woman who is seeking a move to work in her hometown. God willing, it will happen. I know that the first year of marriage is tough, but all the driving makes it worse ... when do you get to spend time together? I will miss her charm, wholesomeness ... a beauty in the dirt of work. We're all bad, she's kinder and gentler, cleaner. Thank God for the chance to have met her.

I will have gone before she gets a chance to move.

bad man brings destruction

I am a bad man. Though I try to manage my behavior, my intent, my actions ... I believe that I have brought destruction to another person unwittingly. I may been able to predict it, but I did nothing to prevent putting someone else in danger.

I could explain away so many things, but in the end ... selfishness.

I assume (that is ASS out of "U" and "ME") and I have made an ass out of both and each.

Joy met with sickness, I have caused another person to become hurt. I am heartsick for I have done this. In each course of action, there is a reaction. There are always consequences for each and every action.

I care and never wanted this. God knows I was wrong, now I know.

More complex than keeping someone awake to talk with me -- she fell asleep at work, I am to blame. I have wronged others and ... Hell does await me.

glimpse

Why fight when you can get a person to quit? I turned in two weeks notice at work. One guy turned to me, "when you take over inventory", I interrupted, "I turned in my two weeks notice."

The lazy man, humbled by my statement folded like a 9 high to a potential royal flush. Yes, he would retain his long weekly dreary job. I mentioned also payroll, which I would no longer be doing. This too, would fall on him. So this guy gets inventory, payroll, and the other two get ...
one hour paperwork. Huh. If Payroll, done right, takes 2.1 hours, bi-weekly and inventory takes 6 hours weekly, he's screwed.

It is now up to him to do more, which he doesn't. He fights at work with others not following his directions, but ... he is hypocritical and doesn't seem to match one to one, as you break a rule, others will too and that sort of jazz.

I leave my workplace of deadwood at the top and live timber (workers, in every sense of the word) at the bottom. I hope that those few seeking other jobs get the fink out of there and let the deadwood crumble finally, to be replaced by something that works. The management team there is a team of asses, not horses. They are stubborn and ill suited to pull a train.

wrong cues

I pulled into a hospital parking garage. It had limited height access and a monitor to track vehicles. A sign, that wasn't lit with my car, was "Too High to Enter".

I thought that it might make paranoid pot smokers wonder how big brother got to be so smart.

"Dude, how did they know?"

warning message from Verisex Wireless

Dear subscriber, Your sex balance is low. Your account will be put in virginity mode.Please refuck as soon as possible. Thank you, Dept 69

____________
I got last night ... wasn't sure about it until I read it...
oh, very funny, now I get it!

duet

anecdotal irony;
two fortune cookie slips

"Life will throw you a pleasant curve"
"A romantic evening awaits you tonight"

two swans, mates for life, gliding coolly in the winter pond

simulating stimulation

How to Talk Dirty. Sorry, Brooke McEldowney, I didn't mean to talk your topic. Certainly you drew your comics before my idea to write this came to mind. Anyway, tips:

know your audience (hopefully of one of whom you know);
talk in a voice that arouses your partner (deep, sultry, slutty, manly whatever);
a good author doesn't tell, but shows -- so show and let the listener fill in the details;
talk in tones of arousal as you explore, go further into the story;
put yourself in that place -- heavy breathing, panting; your listener should smell your sweat;
titillate her+ senses by fulfilling fantasies, making her the center of it;
find her center -- compassion, passion, pleasure, pain, invective, reflexive, her name ... her name;
make it personal, cater to her needs, wants, desires;
if she wants you to be pumped -- sweaty, spent, make her feel your exhaustion, all of you for her

As for me, I'd rather have the real thing. The phone thing is interesting, but ... not the real thing so it generally would make me laugh or giggle. Now, sultry talk with an angelic voice in my ear where I can feel her breath be it minty, cherry, garlicy -- I'm captivated.
It was my first time to have "successfully" completed this game. A game without losers is a good game to play.

If you are successful, you'll know, unless ... you haven't engaged in the real thing, then -- it's not a game for you to play.

+ this is a general guide, but being straight I'll stick with 'her' for the pronoun
++ Brooke, in no way has condoned my use of her name nor of the link to her work. She does great work and in no way do I wish to offend her or bring bad press to her.

irrational verse

It's the song in your heart and the voices in your head. It's hypocrisy... do as I say, not as I do.

Your heart, passion therefore, calls for action that puts you in danger, financial, relational, vocational, mortal danger. It is a tightrope. Without passion, you hardly exist. Responding only to passion leads you to ruin, maybe death. It calls for you to follow a whim... a fancy, charter a course for romance on a burning ship.

"Love; who can understand it?"+

You hold a knife in your hand, why? You aren't cutting cake are you? When passions are so deep, but vile, it is best to run. Bury the knife in the drawer not your "love". It's great burning ... filled with unmatched passion. Kiss, love, wet, heat, the world vanishes.

When the outside world is the only comfort, go there, leave the dark wood of impassioned hell. Be there a void or a nuclear bomb, wiser is the person who steps away. Wiser still is the person who insulates the world and marks the area "no man's land".

Wicked is the life, unfilled, passionless, devoid of feeling. Wicked is the life consumed with passion, thinking far removed from life. Follow your chosen path, but always, always, always heed the voice of reason, which often battles the voice of passion.

Shrek saw those fallen and roasted knights who followed "passion". He completed his goal with a clear mind, passion developing over time, allowing him to sacrifice to follow his passions. In this fairy tale, a happy ending. I wonder where, my passions will lead me, as I visited a person whose passions lead to a near-death experience. Til death do us part was not a contract to be fulfilled upon "bad days" or bad characters.

+ "Cutthroat Island"

Charlie plays Blockus

Man with scar

His deeper scar is emotional. He will need much, much counseling upon leaving hospital. Now, he will bear a scar ... hopefully until his death at 90, that he needed help long before he sought it. I surprised him with my being there.

bad bad movie

Don not watch, under any circumstances, "Boys of Men". Dark, depressing, worthless.

Charlie's toychest

Charlie's blog.

you have ...

new job!

I was called today by the company.

I want to give 2 week notice to my work.

I'm offered better pay, hours, and in town.

2008 has started wonderfully.

for a family I don't know

I walk to a sad situation, but an okay place. I shall visit a twice co-worker who attempted a very violent suicide. He has a very young family. I never disclosed to anyone at work that I found him one night drinking on the job. He had poured a pitcher of beer or taken one back from a table and was drinking in a closet. He quit within a week. He restarted a few months later, but within a month -- his story as to why he had to leave and not return on one night didn't bear out. He was therefore let go.

He seemed a stressed, but good man. I never saw how consumed he was. The visiting hours are short, but I'll let him know that many of his fellow workers think of him. As he is from my work town, most will not make it here to see him.

Funny enough to post

from UK program

Rebates

I am known to have bitched much about things, like money to the rich, yadda, yadda, yadda.
Well, I like the defined term, "working families" regarding the tax rebate checks proposed by GOP and Democrats.

So, if you don't pay tax, you don't get money -- get it? It takes money to make money, right?

Kiss Me Kate!

There's an exceptional girl at work who is fast, energetic, smart, capable. She is also into punk and thrash rock.

She's studded in the tongue, eye, lip with two colors in her hair.
I saw her in boots like those above and thought of two things:

KISS, GWAR, Lordi

What do you say to a girl like that?
Some would say, "I do". Actually, hers were more like knee high or higher.

If you don't know the story of, "Taming of the Shrew", then I'm sorry for you.

Ow! My aching taxes!

You paid $ Too Much

calculating . . .

Your refund is $ Too Little

Thanks for playing government taxes. The End.

with sex you get eggroll

Expanding on MR's "wrong answer", I'll agree that with:

regular sex and intimacy, you don't have to try ninety-seven positions;
appreciation and admiration (you know, elements of love) you strive to be together;
health-conscious, not only do you want to shy away from that 300 pound mark, but also you want to be happy together... if you aren't happy alone, some other person can't fix that

With this healthy relationship, you get free passes to entertainment, food, lodging, a dynamic escort service catering to some of your private needs:

complimenting you on your hair (even if it isn't the best fit for you),
noticing when you try on a new perfume,
expressed (not felt) interest when you go through a fashion show of clothes you bought,
giving a little more attention to you when you need it,
watching and reading stuff you like (even if it isn't entertaining for him)

In a sense, if you're f'd up, don't invite others to the party. If you're well now and would be healthier and happier with another person -- viola!

This isn't robbing the rich and giving to the wanting ... it's shared want of sex for shared want of food
mutual appreciation

Down with GOP

yeah you know me.

Well, with the awful battles between Obama and Clinton, each calling each other fools, bad, unworthy ... the GOP may stand a chance at getting the Presidency yet. It was "a sure thing" while people are distancing themselves from Bush and the bad impressions from what "he" has done. Yep ... so powerful, he never had to get approval from the congress and senate ...
wait, no, we had people vote against it after they voted for it, as they voted against it before they voted for it.

anyway... while people would like to think that Bush is the bad and by proxy the GOP, but ...

Democrats have shown that after a long haul battle to get into power -- they don't plan to do much. Well we got here, what did you expect us to do? Work ... ha!

The GOP might see a good victory against the Democrats showing that each are no the best pick. So much for the easy usurping of the Presidency. The battle royale is just beginning.

ghost of white

Bitter, cold, biting.

Yes, really. I watched as a haze, a white ghost howled, moving down the street. It engulfed a car for a moment, then moved onto the poor guy shoveling the drive. It was the discolored demeantor. I don't know about taking away any happy thoughts, but rather consuming any heat or warmth. I don't relish the thought of getting out into the cold tonight after work.

After running from the yeti, I might very well fall into the snow -- hoping to see Ben telling me to go to the Dahgoba system.

being right

MR is right about MR being right.+ I was interested in only the thought of it, but ... in the end I would take the money, opportunity and still dump my job. Even if I got the money, I wouldn't stay there, just a question of when I would leave. I guess I would like an un guaranteed (on my part) bonus -- sign on with no commitments but the implication that you're "in this thing" for the long haul.

MR is right ... don't want it, and taking the money and running would be a bad show.

+ paraphrased from Blazing Saddles.

Timely ill decisions

So ... I have a maybe job offer this week for a local job. They might come close to my present salary or higher. Work today mentioned they were indeed interested in me being there and wanted to know what it would take to get me to move up there. hint, hint, hint ... $100 monthly? $1200 raise to ensure that I move up there...
interesting
also, the allusion to "faster" training and promotion

now, I'm in a pickle

happy to see you?

late night
old thing

impressionist art from a young guy

viola!

am I working?

T 4-10
W 2-10
R 5-close
F 2-10
S OFF
N 5-close
M 5-close

You know we'll have a good time then... +

+ "Cat's In the Cradle"

if going to hell ...

then I am not so worried... work was Hell, cold and served as revenge.

As far as 126 ... cold for they were saving on electricity and heat ... bitter cold, but a place to hang my hat, rest, shiver. Sleep, so denied, a terminally ill friend, sleep. I eluded to so much more ...
seductive introduction
erotic lyrics
would-be evil


dark,
cold, cold, cold

comfort finally
sleep no, but rest

Big Scrimpin' Baby!

Do you have any discounts?
What's on special?
How much is that?

It's like people going to Best Buy and bitching about the price. I was at Von Mar and was seeking a good buy.

Ha!

If you can't afford it, then you can't afford it. Don't insult yourself trying. Looking for pennies to buy an over-priced item, uh ... apart from gas, I think you should not do so.

Top that off with Gansta yo's and a broke down what-looks-car-shaped and no phone.

One other guy who comes in is a drug dealer, but isn't going to live long. He has blue tooth for his phone and almost no operational teeth. When making a purchase, he pulls out a folded wad of twenties, fifties, and hundreds. Ok. So you have money, but you don't want to be able to chew food. What the?

she said, "no"

An alcoholic mother a several was at work last night and said, "Well, I got drunk last night and woke up on some guy's sofa. He had my pants off and pulled out his thing. I said no." She repeated, "I said no", "I wanted to [do] him, I wanted to [engage in sexual activity] and it wasn't with [her live-in boyfriend with whom she shares two children of the seven they collectively have]."

Uh, ok. She's one of the several who pinch my butt. Last night she was rubbing my chest and nipples.
"Does that make you feel uncomfortable?"
"Yes. It makes me feel uncomfortable."
She didn't seem to stop.

It's better to walk around some crazy people, than to engage in long conversations.

Hmmm, they have lots of children how?

trying to hook me up

Well friends are great! They are trying to hook me up with a woman at work. Of all the photos they sent, perhaps this is the greatest one. If this is her kind of character ... her true self, hmmm
I'm intrigued.
Shy, not too shy, as I know my friends, but a real person.

Thanks guys!

126

A number I won't forget for a while...
room

dark
poor

cold



wonderful
---------
no explanations

Hats!

Yo! My hat be on d'side Ngr! Gotta git dat dope food, yo! How mutch, mann?
$27.50

All we got iz $24.

Yo. Go get sum mo' [from Mom outside sitting in the car who is paying for it]

Gansta G's from the Saxon variety -- whiter than snow and as stupid as "doh". Deh wuz spor'in dope hats yo ... on da side. Weez G's man

go gets da money from mom.


Ok, putz take your hootchee man, Squeaky T Mouse, score some sud (not bud) from Wal-Mart and home, G Man! Weez outta here -- peaz mudder ...

Dude, sshhh, you're mom's listenin'

Don't be disrespectin' less I put a slap on yo' azz, cuz I ain't allowed to have tobacco, let alone a gun
We be ridin' in the seven year-old ride wit dem tinted windows and the child's stickers on the window -- see?
-----------
Some "wiggers" came in tonight fresh dope G style with hats tilted, held up their fourteen year-old rep until they had to get cash from good old mommy.

Mom ... yo bustin' me; better go make dat money!
Listen, Phillip Carlyle from the East Side of Santa Claus, Indiana, drop the dope, the rep, and the 'tude. The only part of hood you have is the hoodie I got from JCPenny that you never seem to wear.

Ah, Ma! You breakin' me ... I gots me a rep to keep.
Yeah, well, your Wii and XBox ain't gettin' used G Funny til you get your homework done. Dope enough?

Big Scrimpin'

police stop

I was talking with a friend and pulled into a gas station last night. I didn't want to pump gas and talk on the cell phone at the same time, so I stayed in the car and talked. I turned off the engine. Well, the attendant at the station apparently was wondering my plans.

I was talking away then saw a squad car behind me. I told my friend I had to go. I opened the door at the officer's request and told him directly that I didn't want to pump gas while talking on the phone.
5...4...3...2...1...
ok
And the officers turned around and returned to their cars. It was only then that I saw three cars there. The statement that they made to me was, "we wanted to make sure there wasn't anything wrong".

I thought second that the attendant likely thought I might be a robber, though robbers tend not to park so far away and turn off their engines.


I looked above me, the sky cover showed no stars, so I didn't figure I'd hear them, "we are definitely going to kill you, boy!" "Have you read the manual for this thing?"

Also, the FBI didn't get on the scene either.

I am such a pig

interview with potential

I will read more thoroughly the company, but I have an interview with them. I cannot find a salary as of yet. I'll continue to look. The good news is ... is in hometown!

Silence Fiction

It is not real
feelings false

Pink Floyd's lyrics echoing ... "is there anybody in there"
not high on drugs, yet a dangerous act

Shakespeare doesn't write it ... on my own accord disaster 2008
a whim ... a chance, reality it's not

I'm not lost, nor depressed, just want fantasy for a while, a taste
a woman wants me



me


me
I have a hard time saying no
dirty words, dirty acts ... I know her smell
she is ...
not mine

she cannot be

I cannot speak of any of it

I cannot tread on thee

cheapened ... cheated ... pleasurable regret


"slimy, mudhole, my home this"+


it is passion, without love

wedding vows with exceptions .... prenuptial agreement on the first incidental date

damn the torpedoes ... my soul already is

I cannot look, "the accusations fly"++

I make plans ... dare I do it?
"Things that make you go, hmmm"

I'm not lying that it's there, but must be hidden
on my end ... not sparks ... not pangs ... just "yes" liking the attention ... "she wants me"

me

I'm still stunned

+ "Empire Strikes Back
++ "Don't Stand So Close To Me" by the Police

Silent Non-fiction

I'm blind to many things, but not to weakness ... pain. Star Trek had a character known as an empath who took the misery and suffering (physical damage also) of others so that they could live. In a quick view on Google, there is such a term. Sadly, I don't subscribe to the concepts of psychics, so I am not ... an empath.

I am, however, suffering under hero complex, trying to help many -- even those unwilling to help themselves. No matter how cavalier that might be -- it would be to my own death I would go, were I to brave others' demons, knightly as Sir Drinksalot or Sir Notdealinginreality.

In my mind, I house the multitude of sufferings of others that they have confided in me. I take in their stories ... sufferings, and am the repository. Loss, pain, suffering, regret ... all mine now. I am a good listener and am not too far off base when "sensing" someone carrying pain yet undisclosed.

I have my own history of vile, but it is the suffering of others that I carry like Marley's chains. I see good in people, but too often pain is more visible. I am, regrettably a negative person, for I carry more of it than positive. Rather than a sponge soaking up angst, I'd rather be a talented carpenter who repairs and restores.

I am enduring; a veteran boxer who takes a beating and gets up before the final count. I am happiest when I am able to bypass the traffic of downtown ... finding a route that, with observation, is pretty even if desolate -- missing people, plants ... still there is the son (sun).

I know that I do good for some. My only wish now is to have a job where I can assuredly pay my bills.

Others suffer ... I just get to hear ... watch, and as it is the past ... do nothing
they should seek help
they leave their luggage with me (baggage)
hopefully they get relief
if they are smart, they'll leave their baggage, remembering what it was, but not wanting it back
.....
I once wanted to be the weapon --- slaughterer, the beast, conqueror, Gozar, but that is the work of evil, of Satan
smiting with the failings of a human, passions of a mortal, blinded by selfishness clearly is not my purpose, my being

so ... my vision isn't clear on evil ... I can't find evil lurking in the shadows always

I can find pain

to console others

get them to work through their pain

grow

I exist for this

The work is long, hard, and grueling. Mike Rowe has dirty jobs, I have to worry about stains on my soul. God willing may I be but a catalyst to healing never losing myself

Bury his ...

Touch it! It has the power to heal!

Yet another person in the series of people to touch my butt. Is there a sign back there? Please touch my butt. Feel free to sexually harass me without worry of recourse.

I gotta get out of that place ...
if it's the last thing I ever do ...

Welcoming the oppressor

I need to shift this draw quick as fuck
Flip the cash and take my cut
It's really powerful, it's so strong
But I'm selling it fast and it's nearly all gone

I'll sell you the 9-bar or just the ounce
I'll sell you little bits or large amounts
Adam Hussain, remember me?
Selling draw from my Capri

Want some draw? With me you'll score
Cos I grows this shit out o' my nan's back door
Bongs big as, blow buckets,
I sell like ounces to schoolkids but I don't care, fuck it

Get it on tick, but make it quick
I just got a load of wicked Thai stick
Party's going down, I'll bring the brown
Tonight it's going off in Newport town

[Chorus]
I got 21 ounces of blow
I got 21 ounces of blow
So if you want some let me know, cos I really gotta go
I got 21 ounces of blow, blow, blow

People watch me like Match of the Day
I've got a stack of weed like a bale of Hay
I drive my Capri like Colin Macrae
And I gotta drop some weed off in Alway

So, we need to find a way to keep these people uneducated and poor, politically inactive, and willing to kill each other. Rap and gangs have replaced the antiquated KKK as the moving body to keep the untouchables, untouchable. Way to go dummies! Oh, and the downed people should replace their god with the oppressor.

I broke a statement in two

"I don't", "I won't" buy a CD. Well, that is debunked. I bought a CD of music from my childhood. It had been only on LP. Who wants or has that? Childhood Christmas.

Thanks Walter Schumann and Chorus.

primate extinct?

Monkeyjack, long time blogger appears not in my listing. Monkeyjack was a unique species.

she's devine

devil garb, sailor vernacular, yet subtly sweet and gentle

She's quick, smart, daring, motivated

She's one you don't show mother, but the one to marry

A wrapped present with a noticeable haste -- wrapping looks rough, but the box itself, the package -- all what is inside, heartfelt and just what you need. I hope she finds life fulfilling and is wise enough to avoid disaster. I get a kick out of her. Her life, not enchanting, but she is ... enchanting.

Rose, nightshade, poisonous variety, but thorns aside, symbolic of ideal love. I'd like to see her life when I'm long since passed and she's lived a long and fruitful one. She's young, and has youthful passions and dreams.

C, you're great ... prosper!

Making pay stand still

Well, at work there were several times when "productive time" stopped. Oh, let's set a meeting here and talk while everyone is getting killed with the business. Yeah... that's good. You get paid for that do you?

Checking on the minutia I found missing materials. I am not required to start on my extra project until Monday, but I wanted to get a start on it. It was a good thing I started ... I was missing a valuable piece of paper. I made a call and got ... yeah, I'll bring that in.

In logistical-practical speak, that's a 40% yes on the maybe continuum. Had I hear more, "er"s, "uh"s, "yea"s, "uh huh"s, I'd know it had dropped to low double digits. Thankfully I don't have to have the paper, but the corporate will send me an email, "where is it".

They get a lot out of me, others ... hard to say.

The noob, or newbie, they have -- bad pick, average IQ, overego, underachiever. He doesn't even know how to schmooze. Now, normally, the average IQ egotist gets into management and stays, but this dude won't turn sycophant quickly enough. I'm not trained as fast because I don't, "kiss butt".

rubbing, for which I need alcohol

I was brushed with no fewer than eight individual breasts today. Some breasts "re-visited". A couple brushes were accidental, but most were not. Hmmmm .... clean environment, right? Heck no! My package was nearly groped with intent, but my position protected my package from fondling. My butt, however, was stroked, smacked, and patted. You'd think the ladies never got laid or something. Now, if the situation were reversed ... hell surely would have new attendees.

My butt was the target of attack and admiration from a naughty girl at work, who is loud ... dramatic, touchy, slutty, but in form (playing the role on stage only).

The least comfortable contact I got tonight was oddly from a guy ... scary! I felt a hand on my shoulder and a voice in my ear.

Dude ... cut that out right f'ing now! It wasn't an advance, but crossing social bounds that he didn't know existed. Thankfully I didn't hear, " zip" and the second hand on the other shoulder. "Guy! The cell-block is that a-way", pointing to hell.

Westboro?

Insanity out of Kansas, how rare!

I'll bet you nearly any amount of money if Playboy or Penthouse offered money to one of the nearly-legal girls to pose when they become legal ... the Westboro clan would fold.

Hey, Playboy ... I think you can do more for the cause than litigation can. Go for it!

For even more money ... you could probably get a girl to pose with a girl ...
ends the fag statements

pose with military uniform
pose with man in military uniform (just cleaning his gun, right)

I think you get the picture.

Mr. Ripley

Believe it or not ... he does a good job! Thanks again Mike Ripley for your efforts!

does a bear ...

well, in my work town, there's a house with a bear -- quite nearly a Care Bear in the front lawn. Sadly, due to wind or vandalism, the bear appears to be whizzing on the front pine tree decorated for Christmas. In this instance, yes ... the bear does.