simulating stimulation

How to Talk Dirty. Sorry, Brooke McEldowney, I didn't mean to talk your topic. Certainly you drew your comics before my idea to write this came to mind. Anyway, tips:

know your audience (hopefully of one of whom you know);
talk in a voice that arouses your partner (deep, sultry, slutty, manly whatever);
a good author doesn't tell, but shows -- so show and let the listener fill in the details;
talk in tones of arousal as you explore, go further into the story;
put yourself in that place -- heavy breathing, panting; your listener should smell your sweat;
titillate her+ senses by fulfilling fantasies, making her the center of it;
find her center -- compassion, passion, pleasure, pain, invective, reflexive, her name ... her name;
make it personal, cater to her needs, wants, desires;
if she wants you to be pumped -- sweaty, spent, make her feel your exhaustion, all of you for her

As for me, I'd rather have the real thing. The phone thing is interesting, but ... not the real thing so it generally would make me laugh or giggle. Now, sultry talk with an angelic voice in my ear where I can feel her breath be it minty, cherry, garlicy -- I'm captivated.
It was my first time to have "successfully" completed this game. A game without losers is a good game to play.

If you are successful, you'll know, unless ... you haven't engaged in the real thing, then -- it's not a game for you to play.

+ this is a general guide, but being straight I'll stick with 'her' for the pronoun
++ Brooke, in no way has condoned my use of her name nor of the link to her work. She does great work and in no way do I wish to offend her or bring bad press to her.