parody posters

See more at the Force.net.

The company welcomes you aboard

Laptop crash

My laptop took a tumble and is now half-functional. I might have a lead on a used laptop, but will shop around a bit. The tip given to me was, "AVOID VISTA", and by golly I'm gonna avoid it. If I were to buy a new laptop -- lower cost HP or Toshiba, I would have to take Vista with it. Blah! I don't want it and would spit it out like a child would asparagus with broccoli florets and anchovy paste vinaigrette. Come to think of it ... most adults with taste buds, myself included, would spit out that too.

If anyone knows of an XP laptop is reasonable order for a reasonable price $1000 or less area, let me know, eh?

Jeremy Lambros said it all today

Domestic Abuse by Jeremy Lambros

Yep, I'm pretty sure that mine "sucks".

Blues for NYPD

Well, if they have job postings in the Midwest for NYPD, then things are bad! Hey, look! Three things; don't get killed; don't get caught; we're all here for you.

Eat my shorts!

The Harrison Square project will continue despite the many blatant signs that it should not. Well, hotel canceled, investments leaving, not enough money ... wait! There's tax revenue from a source that could be used. So, rather than update fire service to an area or fix city streets or buy more salt for the Winter, we'll dump money into a project that seems life itself is trying to crush. Dear city government, do not proceed with this doomed project.

Why celebrities should not reproduce

As well as being patented poor role models and having unavailable time schedules, many go for Frank Zappa levels of moronic names. Here's a borrowed list.

Aanisah: Macy Gray (also mother to Tahmel)
Apple: Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow
Astrella Celeste: Donovan and Linda Lawrence (also parents to Oriole Nebula)
Atherton Grace: Don Johnson and Kelley Phleger
Audio Science: Shannyn Sossamon
Aurelius Cy: Elle Macpherson and Arpad Busson
Blue Angel: U2's The Edge and Aislinn O'Sullivan
Bluebell Madonna: Geri Halliwell
Brooklyn: David and Victoria Beckham (also parents to Romeo and Cruz)
Calico: Alice and Sheryl Cooper (also parents to Sonora Rose)
Camera: Arthur Ashe and Jeanne Moutoussamy
Destry: Steven Spielberg and Kate Capshaw
Diezel Ky: Toni Braxton and Keri Lewis (also parents to Denim Cole)
Fifi Trixibell: Bob Geldof and Paula Yates (also parents to Peaches and Pixie)
Fuchsia: Sting and Frances Tomelty
Gaia: Emma Thompson and Greg Wise
Gulliver: Gary Oldman and Donya Fiorentino
Heaven: Lil' Mo (also mother to God'Iss Love Stone)
Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily: Paula Yates and Michael Hutchence
Hopper: Sean Penn and Robin Wright
Ireland: Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger
Jaz: Steffi Graf and Andre Agassi
Jazz Domino: Joe Strummer
Jermajesty: Jermaine Jackson and Alejandra Genevieve Oaziaza (previously married to Jermaine's brother Randy)
Kal-El Coppola: Nicholas Cage (Kal-El is Superman’s original birth name)
Kyd: David Duchovny and Tea Leoni
Lark Song: Mia Farrow and André Previn
Lennon: Liam Gallagher and Patsy Kensit
Liberty: Ryan Giggs
London Emilio: Slash
Luna Coco Patricia: Frank Lampard and Elen Rive
Marquise: 50 Cent
Memphis Eve: Bono
Moon Unit: Frank Zappa, also father to Dweezil and Diva Muffin
Moxie CrimeFighter: Penn Jillette (also father to Zolten)
Ocean: Forest Whitaker (also father to Sonnet and True)
Pilot Inspektor: Jason Lee and Beth Riesgraf
Poppy Honey: Jamie and Jules Oliver (also parents to Daisy Boo)
Rocket: Robert Rodriguez (also father to Racer, Rebel and Rogue)
Rufus Tiger: Roger Taylor also father to Tiger Lily and Lola Daisy
Saffron Sahara: Simon and Yasmin Le Bon (also parents to Amber Rose and Tallulah Pine)
Sage Moonblood: Sylvester Stallone and Sasha Czack (also parents to Seargeoh)
Satchel: Spike Lee and Tonya Lewis Lee
Seven Sirius: Andre Benjamin and Erykah Badu
Shiloh Nouvel: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie
Sosie: Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick
Suri: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes
Tallulah: Bruce Willis and Demi Moore (also parents to Scout and Rumer)
Willow Camille Reign: Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith
Zola Ivy: Eddie Murphy and Nicole Mitchell

Shhh - schedule

M: 4:00 - Close
T: OFF
W: 11:00 - 5:00 pm
R: 8:30 meeting; 11:00 - 8:00 pm
F: 5:00 - Close
S: 4:00 - 10:00
N: 2:00 - 9:00
M: 4:00 - Close

Buffering suffering

Slow download to lead to stupid or outright terrible video. Suffering is more like it, not "buffering".
Maybe it's the "emo" version.

Meaningful words

Cracked, rusted, in dire straits, but still ... Hakuna Matata, in every sense.
Monkeyjack's front license plate.

bride of scarecrow

Whose wedding dress was used, I do not know. I only know that come Autumn, that thing will be a bit eerie. Beetlejuice anyone?

faster way to die?

I'll just put this in my mouth and poof!

making up rhymes with bad English

"half" with "math". It really doesn't match, unless you have such poor English skills that "math" is pronounced, "maff"

With that you could just "wiffle while you work". Wiff dis wing, I doo dee wed. I spelz fein, funker, wuz yo callin me a foo? I dun need no skool, I'z richer den yo, and gots me so much ice yo kan skate on dis ---ger.

Yep, Dr. Martin Luther King would be "dun proud y'all" made it to where Obama gets backing for Presidency and many Blacks are still using the "N" word for themselves. Yep -- he'd be so proud you made it. Way to go rappers for paving the way backward -- reinforcing stereotypes and encouraging youth to stay permanently defiant and fairly ignorant.

spoilers

Well, I saw a picture of statements printed on car windows divulging some ending statements about Deathly Hallows. I will correct them, as they are a little erroneous.

Voldemort marries Snape, they have three children.
Hagrid kills Harry
Hermoine and Ron kill each other because each thinks the other is a stupid "git"
Neville seriously wounds Rowling for bad parts in her books.
Dumbledore was really hidden underneath a coin in a study and wasn't actually dead.
Uncle Vernon contracts cancer and has a change of heart -- ha ha.
The Death-Eaters rename themselves the Trans-fat avoiders.

Okay, they are all lies.

not as random as lightning

There's a spat, fight, separation -- pending divorce, then reconciliation, but ...
truer to life than a soap, one of the two, at least one of the two is flirting with danger and another person. Yeah, the reconciliation is sincere -- right up to the, "honest" word which is a lie.

At work ... someone is trying to sabotage his/her life by screwing around -- or leading to that. Yup -- choosing disaster over fixing. How surprising!

stagger, stagger, crawl ...

It's ...

Just shake your rump

sippin purple chango

N2Deep, with characters and elements of Rumpshaker.

because I found it

Charlie bowler

Yesterday's gone

Charlie playing "Chicken Little"

Charlie playing "Chicken Little"

Lori gets home, dogs go wild

Echo greeting me!

Well, I met up with Monkeyjack and family yesterday. We met at Munchies and we had the beer sampler -- 10 beers in 2oz shots. There was a Chardonary-esque beer that was bad, but most were fair. I liked the American Red of Mad Anthony Brewery. I wound up getting an accidental free beer. Monkeyjack was kind enough to splurge and take the whole bill -- I owe him!




We then went to Zesto's ice cream and later to Monkeyjack's place. There, Charlie wanted to show me rented games -- Chicken Little being his favorite of the two.

Tasha said, "no no"

Well, here's her picture!

She's cute, adorable, feisty little teen-thinking girl. Tasty, but it ends there. You'd think she was something else if you took much of what she said seriously.

Yes, the background and some foreground were further edited.

My computer died for a few short hours

Thankfully, while expensive, it is now working. The power pack, now number 3, is garbage. The guy there is ordering a refurbished one. I credit these guys with diagnosing the problem free and finding a solution. I suggest, if you ever need computer aid, to seek out these guys.

PC Performance Center, Inc.

Nicely done, guys!

Deathly Hallows

Okay, well ... it was a fair conclusion, parts needlessly contrived and long-winded, but a good deal better than book 5 -- piece of garbage. Anyway, the only bits I'll add, not spoiling a bloody thing:

it is a dark book, you get to learn about Snape -- more than you knew.

There is no spoilage here ... I've given away nothing. It also finishes with a "now what?" epilogue.

If I were to rank the books, I like the books in this order: 4, 1, 3, 6, 7, 2, 5

Maia hates Kirby to pieces

click, click, click

Find ... better ... job. [enter]

. . .

Well, it isn't that simple then. Work stank ... grew very aggravated over people not working -- especially the ones who are supposed to be setting the example. May Hell have a special spot for my hate, but I'd prefer to just let my hate go there.

Dislike job ... hate it. I'm looking for another one.

Teachers dating

Yikes! Now imagine this list, with guy entries. Hmmm. I say duck season, and I say fire!

short about work

Computer is "glitchy" supposedly. I imported data last night and I could not, for the luck of the Irish, get the thing to sort out the differences between what the left and right were. Unit one noted some dollar figure and after loading that data, unit two found different numbers. After a while I surrendered and just said, forget about it!

The IT guys had to do some scrambling for ... the left hand cheifies had one thing planned, but the right hand IT guys weren't up to date on the time frame. And the more of this I see I wonder to myself, how profitable it could be if they were efficient by communicating with each other.

I left work last night and remembered, after months of working there, it had not seriously downpoured on me upon leaving. So, except for my sweat, I always went home dry. Thanks God!

Jump up, jump up and around

not sloth

M: 5 - close
T: 2-10
W: 11-5
R: off
F: 2-10
S: 4-10
N: 5-close
M: 4-close

I didn't wait in line for it

I was at Walgreens, they had a rack of Harry Potter, so I bought one.

I read about half of it so far. It is dark and consistent with her other books with periods of unnecessary dry spots and the Scooby Doo clues and mysteries that one wonders why it would take weeks or months for teens, especially smart at casting spells and tactics to put together puzzles like:

people, soylent green, is

So ... we have a few combinations leading to soylent green is people, okay, yeah ... that's important.

My other little complaint about her style of writing, though clearly geared for kids, is the stuff in the background IS important, like the cast of thirty some characters you've developed. Let's just talk about seven of them, alright then? I guess, it seems to me that you write one thing, then forget it a few chapters later or a book later. Odd anyway.

I think the avid Potter readers will enjoy the references to the other books and the little tidbits and red herrings in this last book.

Let's read this ... nope, given nothing of the book away. Enjoy, or not.

technically speaking ...

So, I put together a project for work. It took me a bit of time. I emailed the work, but thought I ought to have a back up plan if that fails.

Yep, the server got 2 of 30 emails I sent. I also put the work together so that the people there had only to click on file, then hit print. Apparently, that was too technical for the GM. I showed him click, print.

I discovered that the margin parameters (maximum range) for the presently-used printer were inferior to the printer I use at home, so, I will later show the staff how to go into MS Word, click picture and change the size allowing it to fit neatly on the ONE page for each and every entry.

In the end, I got a, "thanks".

It will be good to leave that job and leave them as they left me ... "buried alive in the center of a dead" vacuum of complacency and idiocy.

They can then shout, "Khan" very loudly so that it echoes into space.

American consumers brought to their knees

Full of want and "to be the first", American consumers do what the Soviet people did in the 80s, wait in long lines. In the U.S. we have fools waiting in long lines for:
X-Box, X-Box 360, PS-2, PS-3, PSP, iPod, iPhone, Harry Potter, new entree at fast food place.

Let's face it folks, if you have that much time to waste ... say 90 minutes waiting in line for a movie ticket to see it first day, you've got too much time. If you wait for two hours for ride Vortex 720 roller coaster ... something is wrong with your brain.

If you can't wait to get a 2008 model so you'll pay the extra $2000 - $5000 for the "rare" opportunity, then you've got a want problem. I think that I've had time off a job for a while then working a fartload of hours and that's given me a better idea that I don't want to waste my time waiting to be third in line rather than just go another day. I don't dance around with bragging rights, so I think I'd rather not waste time waiting in line for something that I can get later.

Gee, if I don't get it now, it will be $5 more. Um ... OK.

okay 'roarj

Astro and the gay writers. Kid you not, there are some wacky jobs out there. Here are two:

I was looking for a job when ...

I found a posting for writing, creative management of Netsmartz. They even have a few small area videos. The one I watched was about a thirteen year-old girl who ran away with a fifty-six year-old man (murderer) who was jailed for 25 years. The girl is safe now, but how safe could anyone in that family feel, really.

While I might not have what it takes to get that job, it was refreshing to see some site out there to protect through education.

This might be a guy's fantasy of sorts

Lick it Up by Kiss
performance isn't shabby either ... Dr. Love.

Oh, and Scorpions too!

oh, no ... tears are fallin'

Whimper, tear ducts working, sadness, inconsolable. She cries, peeved, no point talking about it; she's young, tired and presently irrational. Yep ... I've been around enough teens to know that some fits of high emotion are like fireworks; safe at a distance only. I couldn't help her, but was sad about it nonetheless.

The next person was different.
"[my name], [person's name] is on the phone for you."
Me? I figured that that person would prefer speaking with the GM, but I got the "opportunity".

She fought with her hubby and things went crappy from there. Essentially, she went spiraling down like shot bi-plane. Her decent wasn't as fast as a modern plane, but there was no way to escape it, except for bailing out without a chute. I already helped her in one way and much to no avail.

To embitter me, the husband called one day prior and needed to talk with a male manager believing that I would side with him because of male camaraderie. Dude, I don't know you. Don't pretend we're friends.

....
Camp counselor ... my first best duty, but it doesn't pay for squat.

blog title from, "Tears are Falling" by Kiss

homework done

I got a "homework" assignment. I finished it. I'm still peeved that, while I finish my projects, work, and make timely simple suggestions -- "that guy is full of shit" pisses me off to no end. I do, while others watch. Two guys there didn't know how to make purchases online.

So, you mastered driving did you?

It's like; "Is your wife a goer? Wink, wink, nudge, nudge. ... Have you ever had sex? Yes. What's is like?"+

+ skit from Monty Python where rude and course guy is pestering another man about his wife, in the end forthcoming with his insecurities, naivety and inexperience.

I'll find a new topic ... soon

Well, this blog, as of late, is:

want for a woman, unnamed,
dislike and loathing of work


How about, the grass is greener after a few hours of rain? There, God's mercy on us for the rain, His mercy on me for no tickets and a functioning car.

"Always look on the bright side of life"+

+ Monty Python, Life of Brian

What I've become

dog gone it -- still aching

She is on my mind ... in my mind ... penetrated it.

Oh, and she does have red hair.

Here's my card

but all I see is the back end of a horse ...
oh, I get it.

One guy at work reminded me that he is a big ass.

playing chicken with a truck

On my way to work, I saw a chicken truck ... piled high racks of chickens. On my way back from work, I saw a moron driving his truck trying to get close enough to touch the semi truck that was driving ... both going around 42 miles per hour through town. Smart, right?

Fly flies then dies

Thank You

Then one time at the lake

Jessica and Lori wanted to waxing my problem hair areas. I agreed as long as I could get plenty zonked. I stopped drinking and good thing too for they were at the store for a long, long time. When they returned I was sober and in no way agreeing to rapid follicle extraction.

Thanks to Daniel Shelton who creates Ben for this comic.

SLAP!

So I found out which lines don't work very well.

1. There's a party in my pants, want to cum?
2. Live with me if you want to cum!
3. Cum with me if you want to live!
4. One time, in my pants ... (said like American Pie's "one time at Band Camp ...)
5. When you slapped me in the face, I thought you were warming up your seat.
6. I believe in safe sex on my latex air mattress bed.
7. Need help going down on the stairs?
8. It doesn't matter, I'll act thespian or lesbian for you.
9. I enjoy great thighs, breasts, and ribs, but I don't eat meat.
10. I was just warming my hands.
11. I was practicing pencil sharpening.
12. It was standing at attention awaiting orders.

like a sugar high

I think my pangs for her are waning now. Thank goodness. It helped that she wore a really ugly lipstick color. I think it was "fatlip" color from the Mike Tyson cosmetic company. When she's worn more natural lip color ... with her general appearance ... ummm, yum. What attracts me isn't her visage, but rather her. When I've spoken with her, she's interesting, has ideals and hasn't had the bit of luck to show her great potential.

There's another woman there who's the local hottie, but she's a puzzle with missing pieces that would take you years to assemble. She's had an unhappy life-- so there's luggage, baggage, and a void (needing to be filled). Too much, too much for me thanks! The other little hottie is still teen-thinking in many respects. Dude, grapes aren't wine, there's a process that's missing there.

Still, the woman there who invades my dreams ... hm. If only reality were more malleable -- I'd change me.

uh huh (noddng of head)

So there was a family who nodded heads as they were asked questions. I had to think of where I saw it before. It was in Men in Black when Agent K and Agent D stopped a truck with illegals. There was an alien that didn't speak Spanish. It was the same.

Did you want nuclear capability with this?
nod

Would you like to nibble on my bottom?
nod

What is the capital of Peru?
nod

Look! The problem was, "yes" or nodding was the wrong answer. Had one of you understood English or responded, "no comprende", I would have tried something else, but you did neither. Flakes! Sunzabichesbumpises!

YouTube thinks I'm a loser

I have no subscribers, no friends, geez! I get it!

Dear FBI,

Listen to this:

"Flush" and other bathroom noises. If you want to listen in to what I'm saying, then "I hope [you] have a good appetite for it"+. I'll host chips, celery, and dry root beer so you can hear deafening crunching and microphone-breaking belches. Why don't you just call it what it is, 'spying'.

"Okay, the HEROIN shipment is quite large."++

+ Charles Dickens, "Christmas Carol"
++ Lethal Weapon

He's got a funny kind of humor

There was a rush of late night business, as is typical of Sunday, mixed with other nuisances ... I stayed later. The one guy, noting the "lack of personnel" scheduled for that time stated, [the GM] "has an odd sense of humor". Yeah ... the butt and the kicking and the butt was us. The butt end of the joke.

You want some more crap to do, do you?
No.

Good, 'cause here it is ..
I'll do a Milton Waddams, "No, you see I can't move any more ... I uh..."+

+ Office Space, 'stapler guy' who kept getting moved into smaller areas.

wow

T:  2:00 - 9:00

W:  2:00 - 9:00

R:  8:30 am - 4:00

F:  4:00 - 11:00

Saturday:  OFF

N:  11:00 - 8:00

M: 5:00 - Close

Curse it!

Would we, could we, in your car? Front seat, back seat, is it far?

.....

That's it! I'm hoping to get blown off by her, turned down and shot down in flames. It would save me from thinking about her. It would be so much easier if she said, "hell no" to dating, then I could relax and not think about her. ARGH!

I'm not supposed to date anyone there, and for good reason, but man -- can't get her out of my mind.... crap!

I can't get you out of my head!

radio for the dimwitted

Rush was on a radio in one room when I was popping back and forth and I heard, "If your child wants to be a chemist; encourage him; if your child wants to be an accountant, encourage her." He went on to say, essentially promote progress in your children. If you need a blow hard jerk like Rush Limbaugh to tell you anything, especially how to raise children -- you're too stupid to exist. I would call it a wonder that you survived this long.

bueno Juan, Russell

Burrito boy nets news coverage and sniper team told to stand down. What was believed to be a weapon was a homework assignment ... carried in several layers.

Dude, so are so not living this down. Bummer!

cook, thief, and her lover

Where I work, cook, is simple.  The thief is a person at work who may or may not have stolen something.  Her lover is either me to the insatiable flirt at work or the woman at work for whom I have a strange, dream consuming, hunger.

 

The clue was, what the lover thought she saw, the thief, and the cook to whom she reported it.

 

Wild rumors and sudden impact and the realization that things work on a geological speed, political committees meeting before anything is really done.

high on highway

I have to pass a paint manufacturing plant. For months, nothing, but as of 10 days ago ... every day there is the rankness of aerosol paint in the air at that place. Eww!! "I'm gonna get high --- high!"+

+ Platoon

drawn to it

Okay, maybe it's also a sexual thing in my head, but I am drawn to it (ha ha), especially when the background is blue and the "spot" is white. I don't think I'm off the mark here.

gesture

At work a woman was talking about "hand dipped" corndogs and made a masturbatory, or stroking motion when saying it. She was unaware of doing so, but ... I think it will be a long time before I forget such a thing. Too darn funny!

Dietician's tip

"All you can eat" is not a tossing of gauntlet challenge for you to meet. It is, rather, a way for you to try many different items paying just one price. The world's or nation's eating competition champion is not four hundred, three hundred pounds, but rather thin. So, you can't match him -- give up on the "meaty boy" champ ideal. Just sample stuff, not stuff your face daily.

Oh, and dressing and gravy are not soup. They are actually condiments or augmentations for other food to blend flavors, rather than an unconventional beverage with your meal. When the ladle or spoon is too small, then your appetite is too big.

It's a bloody shame that I see the rhinos come out to all you can eat, being near sighted they can be prone to anger.

Also, don't get pissed about not being able to smoke. Look, my answer to the question, "can I smoke here" is yes ... if you're on fire, in which case I will either put you out with P-E-T-R-O-L or an extinguisher.

and the train kept a stoppin' all night long

I was driving home from work, when minutes from work, there was ... [dun dun ----] a train. I veered right hoping to find the end and avoid it. I turned again ... going to mak --, lights went red and I stopped. That stupid putz backed up, stopped and repeated. After 30 minutes I gave up and drove down several miles out of my way to another part and finally got home 35 minutes later than I should have.

sexual tension

Damnit! There's a woman at work who playfully flirts -- to no gain and at times intrigues me. There is, however, a woman at work, she's the flower, I'm the bee. I've said nothing to her yet, but man ... I don't know what's about her that I like, but I like her. Hmmm, "pink taco" as a couple of devil-may-care fellow male workers would call out.

you shouldn't do that

(it makes us look bad). Yes, my applause and gift-giving to the personnel at work makes the others look bad. They earn more and don't do jack for people who worked off their asses, toes, fingers too for one miserable, difficult day. All the "uppers" gave out were, "thanks y'all!"

Yep, I care, and that is a dangerous thing.

Mr. Goto

If problem, GOTO line 200


I am either the GOTO line or line 200. There's a snake in my boot, or last night, complaint number eight about a particular employee. Yeah, well, if I could fire him -- he'd be gone. The GM claims, "Well, we're trying to get some bodies in here then we can let him go." There are glaciers that move five feet a day, but the GM seems to move more like anaerobic amoeba (billions of years) still able to move through what is considered "solid rock".

Hey, you ... got situation, dah dah dah dah dah ...
I fix it or address it. When I pass it along to the head honcho ... pfhitt--nothing. I think he needs to be a little more proactive with things.

sides of mouth

Ahem, I understand that we shouldn't "spend any money" according to the DM.
It's okay, it will be posted on next period, so it's okay.

Sure. Get a stapler for work and a phone.

I get these.

"Why did you get these? We got to watch our money."
.....

Somehow I didn't see the words come out of different sides of his mouth.
WTH?

Sweet Leaf

Well, I think they got it from Ozzy (Black Sabbath).

Comedy begins in Fall

New this Fall is "The bin Ladens", from the creators of "That 70's Show". You can't believe the explosive laughs when the bin Ladens make their home in London. Critics agree, "hallowed be Muhammad" this reality TV is more than just Al-Quada alrighta, it's funny at its core. He's a hard working scrap merchant with ties to international terrorism and his wife number sixteen in London can't seem to properly cook the Beef Wellington. The laughs continue when she plays bridge and bin Laden invites the guys over for non-drinking and gambling. Boy! Does she get in trouble for not obeying master at his beck and call.

It's black and blue misadventures the entire way in this Falls new hit-slap-punch-pulverize smash series, "The bin Ladens".

I think it's crap she married him and that I find it likely there are already people wanting "book rights" and media rights for television and movies. "He rocked Kabul, but couldn't rock my world -- especially in the bedroom."

"One time at Burka camp ..."

Brilliant chess move

So, some flaky bit (Brit) wed a bin Laden. Well, well, well. Knight to ... making it four moves from check. While the British might want to use the woman to spy on bin Laden, the bin Ladens will likely use the marriage to get more "relatives" into Britain, then the US.

Huh. I wonder if the bin Ladens believe in equal rights for women. Ha! Fat chance!

Geez!

You make one little boo boo at work and they just make the biggest deal out of it!

embarassing me

scribble face silhouette

scribble face silhouette
Originally uploaded by MDH, II

With an imagination ... you can see quite a bit

Where's Bambi's house?

I was driving back from work last night and a deer was crossing the street. I wonder if there was a party it was trying to find. So, there are deer that hide in plain sight, perhaps some of those lawn ornament deer are real then.

"Sorry I'm dressed trashy"

"Gaaaaaaaaaaaa", is all I could say. She came in with short shorts revealing her long legs her little curves. "Da, duh ... happy, happy, joy, joy", followed by other nonsense that spilled from my 'piehole'. Good gracious! The Louvre, splendid to visit, but you wouldn't want to live there. I'd kind of note the same here, but wowsie wowsie, hammina hammina, hubba hubba and other cat calls.

Flaccid to titanium in 0.06 seconds.

skills needed

You must not be able to see the difference between the two pictures in order to qualify for management.
If you can notice a difference, there will be difficulties. If you know the difference, then you cannot enter management.

next page

Well, apart from my opening breath of "work stinks", much like others would say, "hello", I had a chance talk with a woman at work last night. I suppose, all things considered positive things were:

she's nice (conversation wasn't wasted),
fellow trainee saw the "best fit" model for management is an arrogant ass who ditches work when he can. The next pick for trainee is just that; arrogant ass who leaves early when he can.

I completed changes on my cover letter and resume', so when I find a job where I plan to apply -- I'll have something.

If anyone knows of a job ... let me know, eh? While I'm not sure how far down I want to trade, I wouldn't mind trading laterally, if for nothing else than change of hypocrisy.

dreams, she's in my dreams

She's so hot!

Darn, but it will pass. It'd be nice for dreams to pass into reality, but ... only in fiction does that happen.

Ain't funny McGee

This first one is eerily similar to Saddam

Concepts for Borat O'Bama

Potter

I think a far more enigmatic and starkly ironic ending would be that he is slain while defending a child. That child then bears a mark from an attack which kills or nearly kills the attacker. You could then infer that the other characters "resemble" Griffondor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, making their own -- new school of magic and the cycle continues.

Granger house, Wesley house, Potter house, Longbottom house

let me get this straight ...

Violent people do violent acts? I just find that hard to believe.

mid-July schedule

M: (July 9); 5 - Close
T: (July 10); Off
W: (July 11); 5 - Close
R: (July 12); 2:00 - 10:00
F: (July 13); 5:00 - 11:00
S: (July 14); 5:00 - 11:00
N: (July 15); 4:00 - 11:00
M: (July 16); 5 - Close

strange act witnessed

I was at work and saw someone drinking beer on the job. Now, the course of action that should have followed:

send person home; notify unit chief; say ado to the person for, drinking on the job is an offense that leads to termination.

I didn't immediately send the person home, that person knows I know, and claimed to feel bad about it, and obviously needs the money. When the person gave me and, "I owe you", I figure that it might be a done issue. I cannot think of another leader who would have chosen my method of handling it. I may not have handled it right, or the best, but I don't think I shall have difficulty with that person again. At least, I hope not.

He claims his work isn't good enough

Posh! I'd say this is great! While generalized as a mother and child, it is very likely Mary and Jesus.

-- art by James Freygang

New July 4th tradition

photo courtesy of MR

"They're using artillery on us!" with a picture of fireworks. The line is from Die Hard. It's better when it's sent on cellphone.

irony and Iron Maiden

I saw a guy come in at work wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt, and bade him, "good band" as he left. He agreed and he was on his way. Later, MR sent me a picture from Bed, Bath, & Beyond featuring posters for sale. How IronMaidenic!

Fluptz Putz

More people are underemployed. The rate of 4.5 unemployment might be that people aren't home anymore because they are working two or more jobs. Man that upsets me when they note -- people are employed. Right, and minimum wage at McDonald's, which is still poverty level, constitutes "employment"? Look at salaries for those people, not merely if they are "working". For another example: someone lives to 106 being a lifelong smoker. That might be a good campaign for R.J. Reynolds, except if you find he was on life support for 25 years and ate up 4.8 million dollars of medical funds to keep him alive.

Numbers aren't important if taken out of context, butt heads! Trying showing the average salary for families with one job only per person. That doesn't look so fine, now does it. I don't like half-facts, it irks me because it influences the weak minded to believe --- well, then, there isn't a problem. Subtract the golden parachute CEOs and start examining the salaries and employment, then give me some numbers.

instant resistance

I made a suggest that would take about 10 seconds to do ... daily. That is ten seconds out of a day. I got resistance to it right away. It doesn't cost money, costs no real significant time, but I got resistance.

F' em! I mean that, in that they get an "F" and that [rhymes with duck] them!

July 4th Mayhem

Happy Independence Day!

oh, crud!

Why didn't somebody tell me my butt was so big?!

I saw Logan hold himself up on the swing, so by golly ... I was going to do it. Work has me a little stronger than before and I had little challenge in doing it. I also dropped 35 pounds.

Virginians and odder Suthern states done be repulsed

Givin' birth to siblings -- "kin" as we call 'em is a God-given natural pro-cess we all been doin' fo' centries! Course we do it thu old fashion way of rollin' in da hay with sisters, cousins, ma, pa, aunts and uncles.

I cannot believe dat dem damned Brits wanna interfere with our way, claimin' dere's is better with sciencey stuff and frozen eggs. Dat just ain't natural!

from the BBC, infertile daughter may use her mother's frozen eggs to bear children

pardon me for presidenting

So what if Bush pardons him ... what does Bush stand to lose? Heck, Clinton sold pardons and while a shifty man he remains, that didn't harm him as much as it should have.

I think he ought to find some schmuck and pull a King Bugs Bunny on him and do:
arise Sir Loin of Beef [whap with the septre]; Sir Duke of Earl [whap]; Wellington of Beef [whap]; Benedict of Eggs [whap]; Sir side of bacon [whap]; Burlington of Coats [whap]; Sheriff of Knotted Head [whap]

You are too kind, sire. [Schmuck falls with ten visible welts on his head]

This story is no story that matters. So he pardoned him. That really isn't significant. Think of Nixon -- pardoned. Get over it.

personality disorder

Well ... interesting. G.I. has personality disorder. I believe that if you shoot him in the head with enough bullets, his brains will be re-ordered and better organized and liquefied. Dude, you're a disgrace now. Die with dignity and ask for some shoelaces, cut your wrists or something. Just die. Personality disorder! There's a cure for that, you know. It's always after the fact, "well, you know I've been kinda depressed, or I've been hearing voices for the last few days, I ate too many Skittles with Red Bull, I'm lactose intolerant, I have red-green deficiency, I have an ingrown toenail".

Don't know, don't care.

How the Neo-nazis won the war

Well, I'm no fan of Nazis, neo-nazis, Klan, KKK, or any hate group, but this stuff makes for great recruitment posters. If you thought the "Hun" posters, and the other propaganda posters depicting others as sub-human were somewhat effective, wait 'til they put posters of Hamas with bombs on babies, stoning teen girls, beheadings and none of which are photoshopped.

Muslims all over the world ... you give yourselves a bad name. Step up and crush this stereotype, otherwise tick-tick-tick ... it's gonna blow up in your face.

By golly, they were close on the name

They should have used spell check on "Islamabad". The phrase should be, Islam is bad, which is quite close. Thankfully I'm here to help you on this issue. I'm gonna side with the group that no longer accepts, "those are the corrupted teachings of Islam" argument. I'd say with the stomp, stomp, stomp, Idiot convention,+ there are no safe versions anymore. This one here is virus-free, oh ... wait, no I'm mistaken. They must be taking after those lovely folks in Atlanta, Chicago and the masters in LA, with when in doubt, loot; riot; pillage; blame others. Oh, and red is green.

+ Anthrax, "Caught In a Mosh"

Don't worry

Fidelity Financial says, "Please continue shopping with us, there is nothing to fear". 'A worker' stole data. Huh. I'd say "a worker" probably had access to something he should not have had access to, especially if he's a "worker", not titled in any fashion. I guess next there will be a peon who causes trouble, then surely 'a nobody' and 'a gopher'. Fidelity makes it funnier still with, "the data was not used in identity theft ...", like they would know. If they knew, then they are part of the plan. "Look, you're sitting there like we didn't already discuss this."+ So, come shop and invest "securely" with Fidelity Inventments, er, I mean, Di-vestments. Your identity, Arthur P. Moody of 9 West Chester Lane, Pembrook, North London, is safe with us.

+ Fargo

I'm some box, *itch

Some box at work leaped off the shelf and hit me square in the forehead. I think it shouted, "unity"+ or apparently, "alpha" for there is the Greek alpha letter on my forehead. I just threw it away, but I should have cross-kicked it into a mirror.

"had the word [alpha] embedded in that [white] head of [mine] for about a week."+ Ha ha ha, cold blooded!

+ allusion to "Charlie Murphy's True Hollywood Stories", on Dave Chappelle show

Hey, you ought to bring that up

An "m" suggested that I bring up a suggestion to the m-meeting. Well, the problem is that there is no follow-through with the team, so anything worthwhile might be good on paper, but never performed. I'll suggest 'em, but I'll follow up with a Foghorn Leghorn, "I keep a-pitchin' 'em, and you keep a missin' 'em!"

Sadly, some of them are, exactly 5-second fixes, when done consistently, help. Namely, if someone should know something, write it; organize as you go; make your walking back and forth productive, that sort of thing.

Proof God loves me

I got out EARLY last night. That's right, boys and girls ... early! Normally I spend my time trying to find, "why are we so flippin' short? Where are the ...", but we didn't do squat of business, which allowed me to get my stuff done and finished, not done, then re-done. I got paperwork done a little early. Overall, much smoother than the typical, late night bullstuff that I usually get that puts me ruddy well behind.

So, cheers and thanks to God for getting me out of there early last night!

clarifying my ideals

I strongly believe that schools, while it would be expensive, should strive to be more like the following:

$ smaller class sizes, peaking at 22:1 student to teacher ratio, but preference toward 15:1 ratio
$ community schools where parents can actually go to the school for activities, rather than 45 minutes away
$ be granted more flexibility regarding materials (books used, etc. rather than getting the state mandated selected books) -- in my experience, there are teachers who use 70s books because they are more effective. I saw books I had when I was a kid ... and they work based on phonics and sound principles.
$ greater scale accountability on part of student and parent/guardian: in other words, when the child prevents education in his/her class, the child is subject to removal and faster removal from that school, rather than having the child in the school for 6 out of 9 months making education impossible for one class or that school.
$ schools should be allowed to "lane" students into classes that better meet their needs; students who need more remediation should get that and those needing less repetition and more challenge should get that { THIS IS NOT the SLOW kids and the SMART kids, but rather making schools the best they can be for children's success } +
$ ensure safety of students with community schools, in that even less-savory parents might give a darn about the success of the school and children; yes, I've seen it happen

^^ With the cost of fuel and vehicle costs, eliminating waste is important ... so true that administration could be cut, for who needs a vice-assistant-vice-assistant-sub-chair-committee-approval secretary's secretary? In other words, the administration has too many bodies, with too high salaries and doing nothing to help children learn. Don't cut a Hydra at the head, cut it at the claws, in this case cronies or couldn't teach-we'll promote him/her.

+ potentially further removes some behavior problems by challenging students rather than confusing or boring them

Get back ... get back .... get back to where you once belonged

Schools, no longer "forced" to meet racial balance? That might be the Castor oil for school's problems. Some soundboarders would claim, "That would make Black schools". To them, I'd say ... yep, that would happen. In this case, you could then better find the better, but not happy, medium for the "No Child Left Behind".

Hey, this school has a cluster[fudge] of problem kids, "I'm a problem child".+ This school needs some help, dude! You think? Where many or over forty percent could factually, actually be Campbell's soup; ADHD, ADD, FAS, MMR, ED, home six in Foster Care, AIDS, opiate or amphetamine baby, etc. I mean this, not as a slant toward non-whites, but rather the racial balance swing will undoubtedly be applied to many other categories. Throw into this non-English speakers and you got mini-metropolis and the start of PS 01 and so on.

So, with this potential policy, there may be fewer bus drivers and a vast need for non-white teachers specializing in special needs. It isn't a bash against communities, it's just a likelihood that the token white teacher would be a target for profiling, harassment, and lawsuit in a nearly all non-white school.

On the "positive" side, there will be the local, "protected" as it were golden schools that could realistically have a waiting list. It will also spell the regrowth of racism, for if you don't see many non-whites and the locals tell you they are bad --- you're likely to make that assumption before meeting one.

If this law goes into effect, then the proverbial gauntlet is cast and I dare-say that racial balance policies will hereafter fail. The perfunctory retort will be, 'quotas kill competition and potential success'.

+ AC/DC

Jacob's ladder roads

Well, well, well. So you wanna go West or East. Too bad. We'll close off a main road for two months -- so, ha! Now that one is open, we'll seal off another. On the first one, you'll notice that it's new and kicks butt. The second, well ... we did something, but not that you can tell.

Happy July 4th and good luck trying to get where you are going, care of the 3RC (Three Rivers Construction [barricades]).

100225

Well, putting 90 miles daily on the car quickly pushed the odometer past 100,000. Right now, over 100.2 K. I need to retire it for a car that isn't spontaneously going to quit on me. It's held it's own, but it won't last forever, so Hundai is likely my next car, for they are cheaper, fuel efficient and becoming reliable.

purpose

Since I don't share my psychosis with others, others feel free to share their neuroses with me. I am a comfortable shoulder on which to cry. I suppose there are worse lots in life ... however mine is doomed to loneliness.

For anecdotal use, I have a little less acronium on one shoulder. I lost bone mass and I'm not a smoker. Oh, well, there was that surgery that left me the scar. The trade off was a better functioning shoulder.

passing sloop

I am but a ship on the water, passing and make a minor wave that pushes ships that are adrift.

I was told this weekend of people breaking up with long-term, and short-term persons. I had few facts of the "others", but I suggested that one, from what I was told, was a bad seed and worthy of crushing not planting. The other person I considered frankly unsure. Since the person was unsure about the other, I probed only that the reasons for the breakup and reuniting were significant; namely, that if the person sought the relationship again there was "something". To break it off more than twice, well ... the question there is the same, "why". If you can sort out that, then you have your answer and a logical direction. In this case, I would surmise that is was a value situation, i.e.: which is more valuable to you A or B?

One guy at work would be like an Arkansas hero ... in that anything that walks looks good. It's almost like the joke about the pig caught in the gate, he being the last guy to respond to the situation. He's 4 degrees from child molester ... not by relationship, but rather by preferences and near-pathological attention seeking (adoration) from younger ladies. Again, I elaborate, "consent before the law?" Uh, no.

Meanwhile, there are a couple of ladies at work that entrance me, one's foul-mouthed and wild, the other is tipping the scales at gravely immature, perhaps a long-time before reaching "drinkable wine" age.

Hell, different than bitching

Well ... I guess inadvertantly, I chose sides. There are those who direct and those who do. I made good with those who do and in doing so, put up a wall to those who direct. The bad thing is ... I'm supposed to be one of those who direct. So, "in madness [I] dwell"+ I am the wellspring of work and ambition and I put my foot in a cast with this. Actually, I know that the bigger cheifies and see I'm a sweaty brow man who goes home dirty from a hard day's work and is quick to find solutions, also ever ready to complete some project that needs attending without having to ask.

The other two trainees might have a more slippery slope in that one is slow in the academic arena and the other is set to have a personal fallout that will undoubtedly affect his work. So, "Stand or fall", as the Fixx would sing ... or something odd patched together from Lt. Frank Drebin of Police Squad.++

The other fly in the ointment at work is the re-introduction of a guy who's arrogant, cocky, young, and the management likes him. So, he's protected, an orphan boy of sorts. [key in "Consider yourself ... at home"] He's like the fifth-level underDuke of Toledo, a far cry from the Fresh Prince of Bel Air. He's here to stay and it wouldn't shock me to find that they might push him into management. He's got the bully part down just right, but the tact and being a man ... well, his young and lacks it. The guys in management they have now are not yet men, despite their chronological age. When I see a couple of them get into "whose is bigger" or "pissing contests", they are a far-cry from men.

+ "Thing That Should Not Be", Metallica
++ "But I wouldn't wait until the last minute to fill out those organ donor cards.", Naked Gun