You may have

the blood of Christ (which happens to be alcohol), but you may not dance. Huh? If your religion defines lines that are counter to your thining, you must either:
accept the teachings or
accept your opinions.

Does dancing lead to sex? Especially for the bride and groom. Isn't that the procreative function of the relationship and Catholically writing, the way to get more Baptists? Dancing leads to more congregation ... hmmmmm ... the _____ church hosts the Welcome "new (prenatal) Baptists.

Fire!

i Que arriba ! Was uss mench?
No remorse, regret; we don't care, what it meant. Another day, another, another sorrow, another breath. Climb every mountain, sail every sea, conquer every idealistic moment, until you sow your seed. That's a bad idea. That's like castor oil democracy. Take it and _____ regularly. That's right! Take California .... please? I wanna throw a fit about someting a part of which I am not ... I rebel against my daughter, whose guardianship I lost (go figure) to have to say "God" in her pledge. Nag, nag, nag ... but I'll be damned if I'll do a _____ thing about anything significant.
Say, like the lunatic fringe with the woman seeking audience with Bush, despite the VERY rare personal talk with him. HINT: VERY FEW PEOPLE get to talk with any President, let alone, more than once. Give that dead idea a break. He died. Okay. He joined a system where that was a possibility. It's done. Sad that siutations were that he died, but that is that. A soldier is dead.
Meanwhile, Bush is making, well, some decisions that don't play well with the media or the poulace. His cabinet should advise him to either: do things covertly or play more to the popular opinion ... passing the bill ... bad idea, posioning the Republican party. Does he not understand that? Bill Clinton was THE politician ... telling what the people wanted to hear while he was stealing their wallets. He was the political theif ... brilliant in theft, but not best suited for the job.

unlike French

Is my pronunciation of it....
my neice says that I enunciate German while saying French for a lower octave, gutteral, slobbery de tuoix!
Non-syntaxical:
les femmes intelligentes de loevly sont ma faiblesse

Morticians, Inc.

You say that [name deleted] is supposed to be dead, but is "listed" otherwise.
Yes.
I understand that you wish to have a cause of death?
Yes. I was under the impression it was ... suicide: by way of self-inflicted strangulation
... hmmm ... writing is a little unclear on that.
Oh, sorry ... asphyxiation
Yes. I see here that, according to the report, that the person, while showing signs of mild trauma and ligature marks, was found dead, bound at the wrists in a closed garage. A car was either running or had run and exhuasted its fuel.

Yes. That's what I "have".
Great. I understand that that this is a "clarification"
Yes.
The standard copying/reproduction fee is 25 (pause) dollars.
Yes... that's right, 25 (puase) dollars. I was told that checks have been a problem and you prefer cash when available?
Yes, that's right.

Your official copy will be sent soon. Thanks for using the service. Dial ### ### #### for any further errors in reporting.

an oil bath, thank the maker

We've all got a mission in life
We get into different ruts
Some are just cogs on the wheels
Others are just plain nuts
Science is some folks calling
Others pilot a ship
My mission in life stated simply is
A moustache on every lip

She was an acrobat's daughter
She swung by her teeth from a noose
But one matinee her bridgework gave way
And she flew through the air like a goose

++++

DAFFY DUCK AND EGGHEAD:

My name is Daffy Duck
I work on the merry-go-round
The job was swell, I did quite well
'Till the merry-go-round broke down
The guy that worked with me
Was a horse with the lavender eye
Around in whirls we winked at girls
'Till the merry-go-round broke down
Up and down and around it we sped
The dizzy pace soon went to my head
Now you know why I'm dizzy
And do the things I do
I am askew and you'd be too
When the merry-go-round broke down
Yes the merry go round broooookkkkkkeeeeeeeeee.... down

Legislators, mount up

Legislators
we regulate any stealing of his property
and we damn good too
But you can't be any geek off the street,
gotta be handy with the writ if you know what I mean, earn your keep!
LEGISLATORS!!! MOUNT UP!

It was a clear black night, a clear white moon
Esquire me on the streets, trying to resume
writin’ laws for my peeps, so I can get some dough
just workin’ at my desk, typin’ all alone

Just hit topside of the Wash D.C.
on a mission trying to find Mr. Reinquest see?
Seen a case full of cash ain't no need to tweak
all lawyers know what's up with billin’ fees

So I hooks a left on the 21 and Lewis
some brothas arguin’ law so I said "Let's do this"
I jumped out the ride, and said "What's up?"
some brothas pulled some pens so I said "I'm stuck."

Since these honors clock me I'ma object and serve
these plantiffs lookin so hard they straight hit the curb
Won'tcha think of better things than some petty tricks
I see my partner and some suckers all in his mix

They gettin jacked, I'm breakin myself
They can't believe they taking all they wealth
I took they’re rings, I took a rolex
I looked at the brotha said "Damn, what's next?"

They got my homey hemmed up and they all around
ain't none of them seeing dat they going straight to the pound
bailiff come up real quick before they start to clown
He pull’s out his handcuffs and lay them busters down

They got witnesses, said
I think I'm going down
I can't believe this happenin, my partners all layin down
If I had wings I could fly
let me contemplate
I glanced in the jury and I see my an escape

Twelve in the jury, one in the hole
Mastermind about to make some bodies turn cold
now talkin and debatin
it's a tad bit late
Mastermind and Reinquest had to legislate

I laid all them busters down
I let my mind explode
now I'm switching my mind back into cash mode
if you want dough sit back and observe
I just wrote a law of those over there on the curb

Now Nate got the freaks
and that's a known fact
before I wrote law I was on the same track
back up back up cause it's on
B I L L and me
the Reinquest to the G

Just like I thought
they were in the same spot
in need of some desperate help
Mastermind and the Reinquest
were in need of something else
seein that cash was sexy as hell
I said "ooo I like your size."
I said "my account’s down and you seem real nice,
would ya let me ride?"
I got a case full of cash and it's going real swell
the next stop is the Vegas Motel

I'm tweaking
into a whole new era
M-Funk
step to this
I dare ya
Funk
on a whole new level

the rhythm is the bass and the bass is the treble

Chords
Strings
We brings
Melody
M-Funk
where rhythm is life
and life is rhythm

If you know like I know
you don't wanna step to this
It's the M-Funk era
funked out with a lawyer twist
if you charge like I charge
then you rich like everyday
and if your ass is a buster
Mastermind will legislate

Wop bam boom!

Got a girl named Nancy Cohen ... she's from Facts of Life and smaller works. She was the "fat, strong character" who you thought would be the high school mentality -- always fat. I was looking up Nicole Mckenzie, whom I favored, but there wasn't a recent picture. She was the "wild one". It's odd, thinking that I remember my high school thinking -- I guess since MR mentioned another ruddy class reunion, to which I will not attend, that I got to thinking about it.

For practicality, use and nostalgia, I put together the Schoolhouse Rock songs for the kids at school. Some of them knew the Conjunciton, Junction, but didn't know the others. Funny that I'm Just a Bill and C J were the most notable. I liked them then and I like them now. They had some groups do newer versions of the songs, but they blew chunks and sucked up navel lint.

"Without Mother Necessity, where would we be?"

Madagascar

or how to put together 6 ideas into a group of 5 with, dubious linkage with the penguins. It was okay, with a typical, unnecessary curse inuendo ... "Hoover Dam!" Why not just skip that? Anyway ... okay, disallusionment, redemption, true friendship, and it was 72-82 minutes. It wasn't a 4 hour movie (Peter Jackson ... paying attention to this?) The dry spells, while visually interesting, still would wane on the mind of the youth. They needed to accelerate a few areas, but overall okay ... with 25% re-viewability. There were no strong songs or (I missed that, surprises).

$135 and all I got was this stinking battery?!

I had two batteries, both dying and unchargable. I bought a typical battery for my laptop. Cripes! It was $135 for a chunk of metal, plastic and 0.6% liquid CDLI. Thankfully Dell shipped it next day and I got it a day after paying for it. It works fine, but it's not like a new car, or new anything. It's a battery or a replacement part that isn't shiny or fancy or much of anything. When you invest, you expect to get something, rather than typical operation. That's what I got ... expected operation. It had to be done.

Running with scissors

I've missed out on many things, put myself behind and have in all other ways defeated me in a vain effort not to do so. Time cruching and number count down, I have failed on so many fronts. In my work, I see phtfft! I try and, being a critic of my own work, dislike anything that I claim as worthy or worthwhile!

parody on justice

confining a few, in favor of the protection for most, still I then am bound and tethered to those whom I choose. I choose not, those because they're great, wonderful, grand associates, but because they're the cause of the pain of frustration ... a temporary martyr diving on the grenade to shield all others from a nasty explosion. I hate it. It still has a cost. Those, worst offenders, see that they are confined, but not assaulted and so offend again. The penalty isn't one, save for the prosecution -- me. No more I say, but find that it's only talk. My series of profanities are saved for the decades-dead keyboard and blank paper before its mauling.

Bang bang bang go my morals

My feelings of morality are, well, that I'm a sinful sod. I have principles but am willing to defy them in favor of certain situations. Headstrong, headlong, I plunge into the quagmire known as the gray area where thinking is allowed, but prompt action is required. Given circumstances where to act in my moral front (template) is to bring harm to others and to not act is to bring harm to others. Pitted now against the code of realism and pragmatism or stark reality and preference, my desires are immaterial to reality. So, I boldly hurt some to not hurt others. Some pay, my soul pays, my mind pays and takes its toll on me -- conscious reminding me like a mirror, of who I am. What have I done ... forever it pains me ... I can't change what I have done, but I wouldn't change it, the other possibility is equally terrible or worse. In the end, I haven't surrendered my morals, nor put them on a shelf, but rather see that taking pain in one way is no worse than pain in another and the I haven't circumvented my morals in favor of the fast and easy way. I do accept that I'm selfish.

Monkeyjack's philosophy bantering

and the concept of moral choices and sin.

In such a case where you are pitted again life pain and sinning, to where you kill another person or innocent and "guilty" people, do you sin or make a loss in your life and your family's life (life in prison, or long sentence due to you not sinning and killing another person)?

Monkeyjack came up with hypothetical question after question -- some so fictional, there was no reason to answer them, but I surpirsed him with my capacity and willingness to sin, with my understanding (concept) that often you are pitted with two sins -- weigh them as you might, which do you choose. I chose the more "evil" as it were, the darker, more seductive, easier option. I would kill, but I understand killing is a sin, that I claim that I would choose, in favor on another sin or failing that isn't killing.

I believe we met at a point that, at some point in time, many people who wouldn't kill, would -- given the right circumstance -- say to kill a home-invader rather than have them kill a loved one (or loved ones) or a "rational transaction, one life for billions", "needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the fewer or the one".

My anger arises from the fact that the world and society has more and more situations where killing (from a certian perspective "point of view") is preferential to not killing -- not to say that it makes more sense, as killing, itself is wasteful and illogical. Translated also to other forms of life. Is it reasonable to kill, to get something out of your way?

That, limited to classical and neo-classical theology and philosphy, of souled creatures, namely humans, still limits people in their responses to difficult and angonizing situations. Someone will kill a loved one if you don't kill them: a perp with a gun is aiming to shoot your spouse. You are in a car heading toward that person. Would you stop (not killing that person because killing is illogical and sinful) or would you continue and kill the person, saving your loved one? My answer is quick -- kill the perp, save the loved one.

Do I kill bugs? No. I try to relocate bugs that shouldn't be in the house, like bees, wasps, moths, etc. I do kill mosquitoes because they may be a health threat -- protection of self and others (but primarily self). I don't kill flies either, though they don't discriminate food and are usually laden with gunk, but there are so many species, some are selective, including pollenators who feed from flowers (bee in appearance). Insects, spiders, etc. serve a purpose and it's wasteful to extinguish them for no gain, save your personal glory of getting them out of sight or victory over a small opponent.

To summarize our 90 minute discussion, including Monkeyjack's my preference to not join the military to achieve military goals is that, if you can have a life where you don't face sin or sin, it's better, as people tend to sin, though they ignore it... and people tend to destroy out of malice (and enjoyment) rather than be pestered by a small nusance. In this case, I'm selfish and would prefer to not have more tax dollars spent on permanent incarceration (the way it is presently set up and the total cosets for execution) and have convicts pose a real threat to the public by possible escape or pardoning, or release to commit more crimes as they are not educated to re-enter society. I would prefer to kill people who can't and won't be released, rather than pay for their existence. That is a selfish view ... I know.

A note on Smash Brothers

One: I was going to write that Charlie looked like a cowboy after 13 hours in the saddle trying to get to the pot.

It was a fun time with the battles and Monkeyjack winning it often with his Yosho eating and pooping -- how ironic, his enemies in wonderful, again ironically Easter-like dragon shells. I could never get the ruddy hold button to work well, but the Pichachu was a nice even character that lent me fewer deaths.

Two: When falling, carrying an opponent, don't throw them to safety and still fall to your end. I saved Yoshi, and poor Donkey Kong plumetted out of sight. Nice move!

different kind of Spring cleaning

Finding wasp and bee hives and sadly destroying them so they find and make a new one somewhere else. Interstingly enough, there is an old hive in the garage, I never before noticed. There's a small access hole in a 2x4. Sometime I'll rip it out and find out how large the hive has been these couple of years.

defense

Your honor, ladies and gentleman of the jury, I offer the defense of idiosyncratic hatred, on the part of my client in the shooting deaths of several unrelated people.
Let me tell you of the circumstances of my client, the alleged uptown spree-kiler.
My client had only just left the indoor firing range, which later is was discovered that there were multiple shootings; might I say, possibly after my client left ... when he pulled into the parking lot to get some groceries. At this time, he rather forgot his handgun, but I would like to remind you that he often doesn't lock his doors. Because he took the gun with him, on accident, it prevented anyone from stealing it from his car and being used to commit crimes, or worse that a child might accidently shoot the weapon.
After a few mintues of shopping, my client was waiting in line, and waiting and waiting. The woman ahead of him stood there for a good ten minutes before realizing that the cashier had asked her, "paper or plastic". Finally she can begin loading bags and scanning more items, and still the store didn't open any more lanes. By this time, my client was getting aggitated and having stood all day, was tired and had missed breakfast that morning.
I will add here, that they fouled up his order at the fast food checkout during lunch and failed to give him all of this change (23 cents).
The woman ahead of him decided that she didn't want half of the items after they were scanned, though she knew the prices. She went through each bag, emptying it entirely until she found an item here or there that she didn't want, forcing the cashier to rebag it all.
This had been now 24 minutes that my client was waiting. After all of the messing around with the items, the total was $4.65 less. She was ready to check out, but then argued about the prices on two of the items. My client then nicely offered to pay for the items ("Just let me pay for the ("four profain terms here, you three profain terms here "), his comment was a little less plain, but she declined with a sneer. She spent another 10 minutes counting out change and finding that she was 10 cents short, would write a check, but declined the twenty pens she was offered by the people at the store, for they weren't her "special ___________ pen".

My client hoped that he could save the people behind him some grief by pulling out his wallet early, but mistakenly pulled on the handle of the gun. He naturally didn't want it to fall, so juggled it until he had control of it, as it then pointed directly at the lady ahead of him. At this time, she said, "Look sonny ..." (touching the gun with her hand, which put enough pressure on my client's difficult grasp on the gun that it discharged. It was in this scared state that he instinctively pulled the trigger several more times, all the bullets entering into Marge Botox, killing her.

That was sad, and my client's reaction was strange, in that he just wanted now to check out and leave the store. The people all around him were panicked and some started making phone calls. Again, more time wasted. He yelled to the, perhaps stunned, perhaps high cashier to check out the groceries, but she didn't. It was at this time that he again began to lose his grip on his gun, he was quite tired now, and it discharged again through the register and into Wanda's shoulder, where she fell to the floor. None of the other employees would check out his groceries, so he grabbed them, throwing money on the counter and leaving.

He foolishly fired a couple of times at bothersome insects, striking two people calling on their cellphones. He angerly left the store and tried to get out of the parking lot, where he had to again wait while some poorer drivers idled time away deciding where to park and re-attempt to park several times, so that the car was straight. One person preventing him from leaving, so he again, so he shot in the air -- so he thought, because of his super loud horn tends to scare people.

His nearly defrosted meat was dripping everywhere, so he was in a panic to get home. Naturally when the cops were behind him, he should have pulled over, but he was not thinking clearly about that, but rather of the wasted if the meat went bad. It was sheer accident when the gun went off in the officers direction when he tried to enter the house.

Having spent his entire clip of bullets by now, he thoughtlessly changed clips -- as he was at target practice today, as I had mentioned. Now very weak, he went to put away groceries and found that the door was stuck. He shot at the door to open it, but was a poorer shot now because of his weariness, which is why three officers were shot. He was just putting away the groceries, when the officers broke in, wrecking his new door, frame and security devices. May I add that the officers had broken windows also.

He didn't want any accidently shootings, is why he didn't immediately drop his weapon. So as you see, the days events were merely a long string of accidents, so my client is not guity. If you find that he is guilty, you must find him guilty by reason of idiosyncratic hatred, in that mindless waiting, especially for stupid others puts him in a fight or flight heightened level of excitement, eager to end his waiting.

Thank you.

Bagatells

You're not really here ... you're in a place, thinking and playing. Where you find you can predict ... you're going the right way. Life, inevitably is an infocom game, much like Zork, but with better graphics.

You see an interviewer behind a desk. He's standing looking at you with a hand extanded offering you a job.

Take job.
I see no job here.

Take offer.
....
I don't know what an "offer" is.

Leave.
Are you sure you don't want the job?

Take job.
I see no job here.

Get job.
That's a good idea!

Talk to interviewer.
Interviewer smiles and offers his hand.

Take hand.
Which one?

Take interviewer.
How romantic.

Take interviewer hand.
You have accepted job as, "deep fryer cook".

(re-reading .....)
(look ... interveiwer for Megaplex Copeland Gigasphere Sharpland ... executive .... salary $102,450 ... probationary period ... 25 years ... full investment at 17 years .... entry level $14 K ... signed ... Joe Didn't-Bother-to-read-fine-print)

Damn!
I see no water here.

____________!
.... I see no ___________ here. Besides, you went before the interview,

Upgrade level.
How?

Take executive.
How romantic.

Slay man.
Devil?

Kill interviewer.
You pull out your rapier and kife and hack the unsuspecting interviewer into pieces. His screams didn't go unnoticed and the secretary has called security who also called the cops.

You are in a small room withe a desk and two chairs.
A dead interviewer is here.

_____!
______ who?

______!
I'm not sure I understand how you're using _____.
You hear sirens.

Jump out window.
If only there were a window.

Exit room.
I can't do that.

East.
You open the door and everyone is gone. Papers are on the floor, as if people left in a hurry. The elevators are running.

Pick up papers.
Don't waste your time.

East.
You can't go that way.
The elvators are on floor 8.

Kill self.
What is a self?

Kill me.
I can't do that.
The elevators open up and the police direct you to drop your weapons. There is a stuggle and you are shot several times. They put you on a stretcher and are handcuffed while in hospital. The sad news is, while you recover mostly from your wounds, you are found guility of first-degree murder and are sentenced to death. During a long battle in the courts, your death sentences is commuted and just in time. Your long-time prison friend Hal, and you are going to get married.

The End.

Restart, Quit, Reload?

_____!
Restart, Quit, Reload?

Bore (the movie)

Hey! The Earth's entertainment is slowing. We must drive to the center of it to find a way to reheat it. I know... let's run more Will & Grace, Brokeback Mountain, Matrix TV series, evening soaps, 45-season shows, newer and exciting sports X-Games of mud flats roll-car rock climbing, "Who Wants to be Kansas Governor?", Badmitten court TV, "My Three Wives (filmed on location in Utah), Leave It To Cleaver (SCI: 1940s), All In the !@#!@#! Family (00's update), Whose Job is it Anyway?

What's really bad is that the trash on Jerry Springer are terrible. Who watches the show, those people who live it and see it every day. Why?

I stopped watching TV very often. I used to watch Cartoon Network at night, but skip it! There isn't bunk on TV I like. There's hardly a movie I don't cripe about. Doubtful that the enterainment industry would cater to me, but I'd like something that, ya know ... entertains or educates or edutains. New Dectectives used to do this, but they really ticked me off with the 5 minute story stretched out to 40 minutes with 2, 5-minute stories after that of ... we found a dead body and a guy standing next to it with the murder weapon and found that ... uh, he did it.

Discovery also has a "history researcher" who tries to answer questions no one is asking ... did the Nile River really hold Aryian artifacts that the Egyptians knew and used to build the pyramids 5400 B.C. ? I'll spend the next two hours coming close to nothing then being debunked at the end. Thanks for watching. How about Behind the Music of say ... Yani? How about those annoying persons in music like, John Tesh, Enya's ninth unintelligible CD, completely forgotten one hit almost wonders on the top 100 charts never getting to top 40 ... say top 75?

NYPD BULL_____. Next episode ... nudity! Oh ... it's some guy's butt! Great ... I'm done with that show. Cutting edge ... profanity ... that's outrageous, right?!

How about, a good old fashioned funny show with no need for language censors. _____, I remember picture pages with Bill Cosby. I remember using so much foul language and still ... such rude (while rare) comments that I don't need TV to say them outloud. I'd like to see a fiction, you know, like the bad guy trying to kife a cop is killed on the spot. I'd like to see people saying stupid things to each other while going through mundane tasks, not waiting for a laugh track or "live studio audience"

Entertain me with life, fiction that's funny or makes me happy. People in a house for 10 criping about their shirts -- uh, doesn't make me laugh. Also, if the show has to tell you when to laugh (laugh track) it isn't funny.

If the miltary wants to defer some costs, how about "virtual bombing", where you get to select a bomb that already has a target, and you buy it for say, $50 and get the video of it destroying your target. There are some people, I believe, who would pay for the satisfaction that their bomb (adopt a target) did successful hit the target and help support the country, war effort, and military. The statements of, lack-of patriotism due to dis-satisfaction with the war could be changed from "buy war bonds" to "buy liberation bombs".

BTW: I don't like politics, it isn't just this administration, as it were, for congress too writes and passes law

Entertain me by having some air-force one pranks "punk'd" (crude urbanlect) on violnt criminals. "You are free ..."

"Prisoner is escaping" ... fire!
[blam blam blam] chaos, massacre, paperwork and overall lower cost -- it should be a criminal-free society

blinks passerby

Time to make the donuts.
I made the donuts.

(meeting yourself coming)

I don't really sleep. I rest and feel unrested. I think that I either: have a fight club somewhere (sans the violence) or I don't know how to mentally and emotionally unload anymore. I think that latter is more likely. I hardly feel refreshed. At one point in time, I could take a 20 minute solid nap and be refreshed for 24 hours. Now, I don't really rest ... I dream and think and don't ever slow in thinking.

hippy hydra bat

Another half day with the kids paying half attention. They are sweet and have resigned themselves to the fact that I'm going to be with them for a while. There was a hurry, a flush ... I forgot we were supposed to watch a video ... oh, well ... Monday!
I got body checked, accidently by Mackenzie, who, of course, continued to body check me while I made noise because of it. Izaiah hugs every adult ... it's his thing. Dawson hugs me -- daily.
We wiped out more work, having an understanding of cm and inches today ... the difference between the two, somewhat.

2 weeks of plans ... my mind is stirring, which is better than what it was doing at 2:35 ... I think my tiredness was making me drool. I passed out from poor sleep, for tomorrow I'll be chauffer for a non-driver.

In the world of the cryptic and strange, Lori called me about a wedding I'm supposed to photograph. Interestingly enough, I asked a few times about it, with no results. Now, apparently, this person is panicking about it. I didn't call her because I didn't have the number. I called today, but nothing. I guess it's not that big of a deal, right?
Catch this! Lori doesn't know the person's last name. I think I have a solution:
Don't ger involved very far with people you don't know. If you don't know their last name, then you don't really know them. I'm worse here ... a third party, who's never met her. I said yes, why?