Tip to the masses of asses

Statement to Muslims; for "peaceful nature" does not bear out reality.

Get angry; non-Muslims already are.

Non-Muslim will get even when pushed too far.

Reagan roasts

Reagan roasts
Originally uploaded by MDH, II.

"And if it hadn't been for Frank (supporting me throughout my campaign), who knows .... I might have become President." At the time of this recording, marked as 1981, but 1970s, he was governor.

Walk Backward

Enter macabe , replay possibilities in head --- outcome never certain, but always the same; what I remember. Betrayed, life improved only after losing then gaining. I've never quite bright, dark and not light, if only I had a dark secret -- at least then I could finger point. Alas, I've no business pointing my finger at anyone. I only wish I had an "alter" spending my energy, gathering money somehow so that I could find that, quash madness and stomp out many flames at once.

Then, thinking about it, maybe I'd rather have the third arm.

In a word -- crappy

It was my week. Borrowing my own money seems to be a difficulty. If MetLife were close by, I'd drive there and finish up the paperwork and transfer myself. Okay, they have my paperwork for two weeks -- still, they haven't processed it. I'm asking for only $1,000 of my own money! How tough can that be? They have all my info -- address, phone, everything vital. What gives?
--- back to the more critical, though not being able to pay bills is critical,
My mother had a couple of really bad nights -- in so much pain, overdosing on other things ... terrible, unpretty -- I wish not to see it again, though got another shadow of it on Thursday.

What was to be a "30 minute" trip to hospital for pre-admission testing, was in fact, 3 some hours -- nearly 4. In the end, she should be ready to go, but now needs to exercise to gain muscle in arms, for that's what she'll use to lift herself.
I doubt that she will successfully complete the physical rehab and on top of that ... she is a bad surgery risk.

I'm not really sleeping well anymore ... Tyler Durden lurks with my face, selling soap, dreams, discontent, revolution to the masses. I like being alive, but this hell I've had is akin to death (for Hell is death+). I have heavy eyelids all the time, matched with dull wit and unsightly bursts of angry talk about topics for which I have some opinion, usually soundbite news (serial murderer cofession, inconsistent with facts) etc.

I'm writing little because I generally unmotivated. I now have a very wonderful schedule of reading job postings, responding to job postings, checking "potential spam" folder for possible responses finding few -- several times daily.

On the bright side, I never traded in my car for one with worse gas mileage and for a higher loan. Thanks God!

+ as defined by absence of life (love, existence, religious continuity; be it proximity to God, or restoration of self)

C3-PO has a better chance at a job than I do

Not only can't I program them, I can't even hope to be a binary load lifter.
Damn!

girl expresses demands

girl expresses demands
Originally uploaded by MDH, II.

Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the forest when she was stopped by friend, Rabbit, who warned her to be careful of the wolf, for he would jump on her bones and play with her cleavage. She said, "thanks, I'll be okay."

A short while later, friend Owl reminded her of the dangers of the wolf and again, Red dismissed Owl with, "Thanks" showing a 9mm handgun for protection.

Minutes later, the wolf jumps right in front of her stating that he was going to jump on her bones and play with her cleavage.

"Oh no you're not", screamed Red. She brandished her pistol, leveling it on the wolf's head between his terrified eyes. "You're gonna eat me, just like it says here in the book!"

four buttons and "all" feature

categories: all (meaning canine anal sacks or duct glands could be followed by Kobiashi Maroe then shitaki mushrooms and "where's the beef?")
Get your friends / team to say the phrase, without divulging any words that you see, then get peeved and hurl it like a frisbee.
Catchphrase or Catch**it

job serach

"We have received your resume"

It's missing the phrase, "Thank you for playing." I don't see a door here. I also don't see a window.

Convenient timing

John Karr, substitute teacher (my prior job) may very well be the killer. He was regarded as a poor teacher, though. He taught in many different places and was a caregiver. According to some reports, he had a sexual assault charge, but in California during a fingerprint check -- nothing came up. I'll return to this fiend later.

I know that there are two schools of thought on male teachers -- perverts and queers. Little does anyone remember the powermad school masters who beat the snot out of kids who threw a fit or didn't "get with the program" in one room school houses. Later, the state was happy to pay women teachers less and require them to be unmarried. Later still, integration and the vast need for qualified teachers.

Men should be role models -- and many urbanites need good role models, men and women. Generally, it is accepted (through assumption and data) that urbanites tend not to have a stable father figure in their lives (via jail/prison, abandonment, death, etc.) I actually was a novelty, and I love teaching, but as life would have it, I failed to fullfill a requirement, relegating me out of teaching, which didn't pay me much anyway.

During my experience, there was always doubt, wonder, suspicion as to which one I was -- queer or pervert. As it happens, I'm neither, but that wouldn't sway most persons feeling I had to be one or the other or both. An EH (emotionally handicapped) child once called me a pedophile, actually perfunctory response in an attempt to defy me, get attention, and to seem superior. It was my only time that I met or saw the child, in that 5th grade class. A month later, she was removed from the school and into another program.

----

I think that Ramsy's killer being a substitute teacher and caregiver spells a mess of problems for male teachers, regardless of the time they put in. It underscores fears, much like a Black male armed robber. It's common --statistically, almost predictable. It would be "newsworthy" if it was a Asian women in her 40s.

A woman teacher, "mom" as it were, is trusted categorically because she is a woman, who could be a mother. I have found, even in my small group of 90 would-be teachers, that some carried too much baggage for the trip. One woman would not teach in a mostly Black or high-percentage Black school. She didn't like Blacks. You don't get to always choose. She could not have been a fair teacher. A couple others, I had in the back of my mind -- certain worries about their intents -- control mainly, over others; nothing more.

I did encounter some creepy adults; somehow affiliated with students at a sschool, whether parents, uncles, cousins, etc. Some surely would have been jailed for mindcrimes. Even others were, well, demonstratively too close with some kids. That may or may not have led to anything, but the wrongness was there.

----

Now, away from that, I find that it really would have killed me anyway. I'm still wanting to be a dad someday and having all those kids around me would either make me crazy to adopt or jump into a stupid relationship (to be a father), or get soured on kids totally and never want to deal with them really. It is a fine line.
---
So far, no job, but the month of August might bring something.

Aren't you the stripper?

surprise meeting (Oh, Jeffrey)
Originally uploaded by MDH, II.

Yes, yes, yes ... we all know what I did! Hey! I want to see what you do after drinking 1.25 gallons of beer. I know this because of the number 32oz cups I filled and drank of beer, before my memory became extinct like the dodo (or really lightning in a storm -- in flashes only). I kinda got the impression that I got the wrong impression about the party.

I also found out that even thirty pieces of gum, singularly or similtaneously didn't hide the smell of that much beer on your breath. I think the stumbling and nudity gave away my condition. In my head I was making words, but listening to me -- not so much.

originally from Coupling. surprise meeting (Oh, Jeffrey)

expounding upon MR's **ck Lebanon

Sadly, too many people see others as the problem and not their hate. Why think when acting and hating are faster ("more seductive"+)? "History shows that destroying has always been easier than creating."++

The US seems like an odd nation to be finger wagging and pointing, regarding its dismal history and track record (like genocide of native peoples, hundreds of years of slavery), condoning of underpayment of illegals (to some this is evil) -- I'd say, employment is illegal. They entered illegally, then have to be underpaid to exist -- tip from narrow-minded person, learn English and enter legally.

We do, however, allow freedoms -- sometimes too many to the wrong persons. I can go to a restaurant and order Korean food or an Indian restaurant and order food, sometimes not knowing what the items are. Better still, I can send it back. Most things are done by contract, not "I divorce you. I divorce you. I divorce you." sealing the end of the marriage. Similarly, I can get a job and then not randomly be fired.

I can drive through this small city and find Jehovah's Witness halls, Menenite Chapels, Synogogues, churches of all flavors (Catholic, Lutheran, Baptist, Methodist, Evengelical, Later Day, etc.). I do criticize others, belittle small bits of irony and inconsistencies in doctorine, but am happy there are choices. Really, the US is a consumer's market on many things including religion.

You believe that faith and faith only can cure your cancer, that is within your rights as an adult to let yourself go with that method. If you want to include poisonous snakes in your worship of God, that's okay too. If you want to accept no God (or god), that's cool. You may be ridiculed by others, not quite a Job character, but you aren't slain for it.

Killed for gayiety was a possibility, but now homosexuality is a fad. Aparently it's okay or cool, trendy to be seuxally wishy-washy. I think here, I'll be outdated and stick with hetrosexuality, but I'm fine with that. Simple principles, but very complex laws (too ubiquitous lawyers) make for a safer society with freedoms that other nations surrender or don't fight to have.

As for Syria, Lebanon, Jordan -- I think in the 70s you made it clear where you stood, and I'm sure that your mind is stuck, groovy with the 70s hate, retroactively cool, even in 2006.

+ Star Wars, New Hope
++ Star Trek II: Wrath of Khan

This is my dell

This is my Dell on fire! Any questions?

Since they are Sony batteries and Sony Vaio s haven't burnt, I'd say it wasn't necessarily exclusively a battery issue.

bathroom etiquette

Jeff looking
Originally uploaded by MDH, II.

Here, we see Jeff looking at Patrick. He was requested by three seperate people to examine Patrick while in the bathroom. Jeff can't stop staring ... amazed that Patrick is a "tripod".

Neither of them are gay and it pans out that Jane was wrong that they didn't go for a little "cuddle" as is in her delusion. Jeff feels even more insecure after this. His homelife, later revealed in the series was scary.
----
When you are in restroom (public) don't do this -- ever! Also, put space between you and another else, including friends or at completely different times. If you have to ask if it's wrong -- it is.

both ways?

ROADS SECRET 3
Originally uploaded by The Secret History.

original title was, "ROADS SECRET 3", but her positioning in the road led me to a number of different interpretations like, "goes both ways", "line in the middle" (especially rude), "wide open road" (equally rude), slow steady travel (note the speed limit), "ride her", "makes quick stops"

There is no real text in the picture, but clearly the photographer had to know this leaves open some impressions. In mine, expression of perverted, darkly sexual commentary. The reader can make guesses why (another road indeed).

"parallel", "don't tread on her", "waiting for ride"

unpretty (fugly) -- sorrow, remorse, negative response

yesterday ... little was right with it. My neice was here, one day before her school began and her dog visited too. A family member was ill, flopping around, suffering, but those around that person suffered more.

In this spit of life (yesterday) I thought to myself of a couple of things.

Suicide: easy for the person comitting it, terrible for those around the suicide (person). It is a selfish act; nothing more, nothing less. Thankfully there were no suicides yesterday.

I also pondered my existence and the relationship of what I'm now doing from what I want to do and what I have done. Is it coincidence, fate, planning, folly? I was in a place to help -- somewhat, and I did help, somewhat. Was I supposed to help? Was I supposed to be available? God knows, I don't.

Restless sleep -- mind focused on little ... I don't want another yesterday. If I had to relive things, I would have to sonsider that this day I might have to relive.

offer I refused

DESCRIPTION RCM is currently recruiting for a Field Technician/Dell Warranty Tech. This is an open-ended contract opportunity to work as an Independent Consultant to repair desktop, laptop, and printers.

The troubleshooting has already occurred through a phone support line. That support line has determined the problem is hardware related and ordered the components for replacement. Your job will be to pick up the hardware and take it to the client site (home, home-based business or small business) and swap the part out.

This position pays $28 per ticket within a 50 mile radius and $38 per ticket within a 51-75 mile radius. Anything over 75 miles pays $38 per ticket plus gas reimbursements at $.31 for every mile over 75 one way. You will be doing approximately 3-8 tickets per day. This position also requires you to work 40hrs/week with the posibility of weekends.

REQUIREMENTS Professional Experience with PC and Laptop at least 2/3 years with hands on experience or 1 yr in College Labs.

MUST have experience diagnosing/troubleshooting hardware issues on pc's, laptops, and printers.

Working on hardware repairs and/or upgraded on pc's, laptops and printers.

A+ certified is mandatory

Dell Certified is a plus

Must enjoy driving - will be driving from location to location (field technician).

Must have own tools for repairing computers that include anti-static protection and DC volt-meter

Ability to locate addresses in your immediate area.

This position is immediate and only requires a phone screen with the hiring manager

+ note typo of possiblity

Geese in flight

Geese in flight
Originally uploaded by MDH, II.

Monday evening, I got peeved and went walking for 3 hours. I walked around ten miles, perhaps more and got some interesting shots. This is one. The geese did a test flight over me to see if I was a hunter, and since I wasn't, didn't mind flying near me again.

I saw a No Trespassers, but couldn't find the Trespassers William sign. So, no piglet. I found a few bits and pieces of things on the road, not much. I took only 3 shots of little pelts, cleaned of flesh and bone.

Also, not featured in my photo shoot from Monday were a couple of golden finches near a golf course. I got a limited shot of sandpipers on the course. I was too noisy going through a forest to capture wild things. The forest was thick enough, that to pass through I had to stomp down attacking follage.

signs of being old

signs
Originally uploaded by MDH, II.

I kept this one because ... Ferguson was Lisa's old name. Kinnerk was the road (unlike its present condition and shape) where I nearly killed myself and two friends stupidly driving too fast on a gravel road. Did I mention that I was dragging a Yosemite Sam on the back. The Yosemite Sam, we found on someone's curb to be hauled away by the trashman.
The car was stopped by a guide wire to a telephone pole. The car was never again the same, but I thought of this while I walked down the road again -- decades later.

sleep aid

sleep aid
Originally uploaded by MDH, II.

Diphenhydramine HCl 25mg
The box didn't include possible side effects like, ineffectiveness, grogginess, stomach cramping and working solidly for only 2 hours, thereafter in a hazy restlessness. I'll mark that next to tylenol pm as really, quite ineffective. Six beers+ are more likely to make me rest than this stuff!.

+ after body uses up the sugars in a fury of mental activity going nowhere and some limited hyperactivity.

If I could only get some quality sleep.

Where I'll be on the 24th

My mother will have surgery, and quite frankly, she's not a good surgery risk or a good patient. She'll reside here and at rehab for several weeks.

digging hole for swimming pool

I thought that I'd be done by now, but I wasn't wasn't sure it was deep enough.

James Potty and Flash (re-edited)

Flank wonders what he's doing.

James Potty more homo than metro sexual

Flank strange shopping habits

Lost in the hotel

Drunk on job dismissal

My dinner with Dalmer

Flank prone to violence

Deliverance Marked Trail

Sea turtle finds out that being eaten by shark is kinder fate than its fate with humans.

Bubba finds his-self a turtle to mount a stuff.

How I feel today

Thanks, girl! You let me know without speaking.

350 pound operetta

I was at the grocery store today. For shopping music they had, "Endless Love" title song from the movie. What was strange was seeing a 350 pound (or greater) man wandering around shopping, whistling the tune. Now, my first thought was, "how strange", then my mind wandered.
Was his having endless love for food -- his shopping cart bursting with piles of food including whole milk. Look, dude, try skim. Was he trying to gain attention by knowing the tune or such a love-struck tune? Any way you slice it + you're left with an odd picture and scene in your mind.

+cliche, also KISS song.

Smoking

Smoking
Originally uploaded by MDH, II.

Do you know how I know you're gay?
Why?
Because you smoke balogna pony and follow it up with playing the skin flute.

Do you know how I know you're gay? You smoke after sex.

Do you know why you're gay? You watch gay movies.

Do you know how I know you're gay? You're going to go buy cigarettes and watch a gay movie because you saw this pic.

Time to buy a gun

I think I'll get a shotgun considering the ease of this. Yikes! I'll have to just wait til they enter, shoot them. Since law prevents you from booby trapping your house, I guess it's get a gun or gun or get a tiger to protect family and home.

Here, waste more of my time

Drive like mad, drive like crazy. It's no Vilgilante 8 or Burnout, but it will certainly entertain. Lego racing.

programming and commercials making your smarter

Unlike the intent of dumbing down viewers, television has the potential for helping people improve their memory. TV has so many commercials that viewers either have TiVo and don't watch them or watch one channel until commercials, then turn to at least one other channel to avoid commercials. In this way, they remember what's going on in two or three different shows. I mute commercials or watch something else. TNT is notorious for losing my interest so much so that I flat out don't retun to the channel because of the 5- 7 minutes of commericals followed by 2 minutes of show, etc.

nothing required

nothing required
Originally uploaded by MDH, II.

It's almost getting to the point of me needing a new blog to cripe about these issues. I have enough arguments about Career Builder. Now, if you notice, employers aren't using hot links designed in the interface. They have reversed the trend so that they spend 20-30 seconds on a resume, meanwhile the prospective employee must read quite a bit to decided if s/he qualifies for a job. Unfair!

Great balls of fire!

in Amalfi - Italy
Originally uploaded by Elisabeth Gaj.

original title: in Amalfi - Italy

You might be up all night, but when it comes to a finish -- burning love takes on a whole new meaning.

Steven Segal and Jean-Claude Van Damme

Movies and quotes that should have been

"Hello, my name is Steven Segal. I killed this genre. Prepare to die."
"Hello, my name is Jean-Claude Van Damme. I killed this genre. Prepare to die."
....
Steven Segal in, "Above Dignity"
Steven Segal in, "Belly of the Bastard"
Steven Segal in, "Out For Money (sequel to Out of Money)"
Steven Segal in, "Overplayed"
Jean-Claude Van Damme in, "Three Men and a Little Ladee"
Jean-Claude Van Damme in, "Mulletproof Punk"
Jean-Claude Van Damme in, "Universally Bad Movie 3"
Jean-Claude Van Damme in, "Thaiborg (exercise video)"
Jean-Claude Van Damme in, "Bad Acting Warrant"

Steven Segal and Jean-Claude Van Damme in, "How I Succeded in Acting Without Even Trying"
Steven Segal and Jean-Claude Van Damme in, "How to Murder Your Wife"; guest appearance by Robert Blake
Steven Segal and Jean-Claude Van Damme in, "Clueless in Utah"
Steven Segal and Jean-Claude Van Damme in, "Anger misManagement"; written and directed by Steven Segal and Jean-Claude Van Damme; edited by Steven Segal and Jean-Claude Van Damme; running time 75 seconds.

tasting these again (new dialogue on old strips)

There! That loose tooth is finally out!

Ring ... are you prepared for Jehovah's return?

I swore he said tea specimen.

Prone to macing people.

Hazmat suits disguise those within.

Worst prepared hunter award goes to ...

winner of hotdog eating contest suffers.

This doctor is desperate to remove unwanted body hair.

The 24th century doesn't offer any better hope on glasses that fit.

What you won't be getting

You're looking at the job wishin' you could work there, but you're stitin' jobless at home like Poindexter.
Thanks for advertising this job after it's done. That's one more job you won't be getting.

+ thanks to Young MC for inspiration

Tasting these twice (new dialogue on old strip)

Flash instinctively hunts for food. Sadly, he chooses people. His good friend the doctor reminds him that they packed for for the trip.

What's a man doing with a compact?

Character becomes suicidal. He wanted to be an actor, but instead landed a role in a B sci-fi series, likely later to be cast in B horror movies.

Ring the doorbell and run!

Security is already drunk when the good guys try to sneak past. The security is on a 72-hour workday and bender.

swimsuit wedgie

swimsuit wedgie
Originally uploaded by MDH, II.

Man do I hate wedgies! Aparently cartoon characters get them too. Man I wish I could sleep!

labeling my house

Well, it isn't my house and I shouldn't keep explosives, but if I did ... this would be the way to go. That way, in case anyone wanted TNT, dynamite, gasoline, dry gun powder or anything like that, it would be there. I keep it tucked away in the woods. Certainly nothing could go wrong.

pardom me now, while I pee me pants with laughter

Wanna B Ur Lovr
by Al Yankovic

Lyrics:

I don't have a library card
But do you mind if I check you out?
I like your skeletal structure, baby
You're an ectomorph, no doubt

Your face is real symmetrical
And your nostils are so nice
I wish that I was cross-eyed, girl
So I could see you twice

Girl, you smell like Fritos
That's why I'm giving you this hungry stare
You're so hot, you're gonna melt
The elastic in my underwear

I'll bet you're magically delicious
Like a bowl of Lucky Charms
You'd look like Venus de Milo
If I just cut off your arms
What I'm tryin' to say is ...

I wanna be your lover, baby
I need somebody to love
You know I just wanna be your lover, baby
Now, I need somebody to love

Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo
Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo
Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo
Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo

Do you believe in love at first sight
Or should I walk by again?
My love for you'd like diarrhea
I just can't hold it in

Stop, drop and roll now
'Cause baby, you're on fire
I'll bet your outfit
Makes a lot of noise in the drier

You're absolutely perfect
Don't speak now, you might spoil it
Your eyes are even bluer
Than the water in my toilet

Say, has anyone ever told you
You've got Yugoslavian hands?
No, of course not, that would be stupid
Just forget I ever brought it up
The point I'm trying to make is ...

I wanna be your lover, baby
I need somebody to love
You know I just wanna be your lover, baby
Now, I need somebody to love

Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo
Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo
Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo
Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo

I wanna be your Krakatoa
Let my lava flow all over you
I wanna be your anaconda
And your heat-seeking missile too

I wanna be your beef burrito
Am I making this perfectly clear?
I wanna be your love torpedo
Are you picking up the subtle innuendo here?
Uh huh

I hope I'm not being forward
But do you mind if I chew on your butt?
You can tell me truthfully
Am I a steamin' hunk of love now, or what?

There just aren't enough o's in "smooth"
To desribe how smooth I am
Maybe you've seen my picture
It's in the dictionary under "Kablaam!"

My lips are registered weapons
Can I invade your personal space?
You must have fallen from heaven
That would explain how you messed up your face

Well, how'd you get through security?
'Cause, baby, you're the bomb
I'd like to take you home right now
So you can meet my mom
Because I ...

I wanna be your lover, baby
I need somebody to love
You know I just wanna be your lover, baby
Now, I need somebody to love

Girl, you must be Jamaican
Because Jamaican me crazy
Girl, you must be Jamaican (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo)
Because Jamaican me crazy (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo)

I wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo)
I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo)
You know I just wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo)
Now, I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo)

I wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo)
I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo)
You know I just wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo)
Now, I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo)

I wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo)
I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo)
You know I just wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo)
Now, I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo)

I wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo)
I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo)
You know I just wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo)
Now, I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo)

Where the questions lead to questions

Which word can you eliminate ?
Car
Plane
Bike
Boat
....

[car: because it has a short vowel; bike: because it is not motorized; boat: because it doesn't have wheels]

 ....

If you buy 3 trousers worth 23€30 each with a 50€ note, how much change are you left with?
13,1€
12,2€
14,6€
11,3€

....

[are these Euros?  I see 23.30 * 3 =  69.90 which won't result in change for a 50]

....

Solve the following analogy :
LAVA is to VOLCANO what WATER is to ?
freeze
mountain
valley
chimney
source
lake

...

[typical response is lake, but a volcano doesn't technically contain the lava.  Clouds would be a better choice here.  Source would be good, but there's the lack of definition]

...

Please mark the word not matching the others :
Whale
Shark
Herring
Dolphin
Pike

....

[whale is a common answer for it is a mammal -- please note that there is a dolphin fish, also common would be pike for it is a freshwater fish as opposed to oceanic; shark would work because they are only jaws, no other bones]

....

This shape was turned over upside-down, then swivelled, what is the result ?

....

["swiveled"?  What's swiveled?]

...

Which is the missing drawing ?

...

[I met my match here]

...

Find the word written in the direct direction (of the needles of a watch) as well as the missing letter :

...

["written in direct direction", you're losing me here -- not a clue]

...

Which shape does not match the others ?
Circle
Cube
Triangle
Square
Rhombus

....

[cube is 3 dimensional; circle has no sides and not vertices]

...

Which face part does not match the others ?
Eye
Ear
Cheek
Nose
Eyebrow

...

[there is a hinted symmetry here; Whoopi Goldberg would fail -- nose (one); eyebrow typically considered hair is a non-feature]

...

Which word does not match the others ?
Copper
Tin
Iron
Bronze
Lead

...

[bronze is an alloy, of course; lead not used in weapon usage but doesn't corrode (and floats like great gravy)

....

 

Confessions of a reader

I started getting this 7 years ago and am not disappointed in receiving it.

The director's perspective has interesting factoids on African Americans and HIV prevalence. One might assume that to maintain a same-mass/volume brain, one should heavily abuse and use Crystal Meth while infected with AIDS. No, not really. I think, end game, don't use drugs, don't get AIDS--as if you needed to be told. Some of the work on cigarette addiction, basis and differences in men and women are fascinating. Worth a read and free online, I'm not sure where you subscribe to the printed version.

Scoring 50.4

Duh ... dat makes me schtoopid! IQ test.

Shame for Sale

Unabomber auction? What the heck is that? Oh, boy! A used, unremarkable knife next to another used unremarkable knife. Typewriter and paper, having a value of $22 to someone, somehow becomes super valuable because a serial bomber used it. I guess if I had AIDS, I could become a crime boss and my loved ones could sell off my belongings for high profit, while I die or after I die -- hopefully in a blaze of glory as opposed to a slow, withering, agonizing death. This, I think, sets a bad presidence.

James Potty (revised)

James Potty wanders down the stairs to find a woman tied up naked on a mattress. He response is quick and dimwitted.

using keyword elimination

Career Builder's keyword elimination didn't work -- at least what I tried. "Bullcrap" does not filter out bad jobs.