unpretty (fugly) -- sorrow, remorse, negative response

yesterday ... little was right with it. My neice was here, one day before her school began and her dog visited too. A family member was ill, flopping around, suffering, but those around that person suffered more.

In this spit of life (yesterday) I thought to myself of a couple of things.

Suicide: easy for the person comitting it, terrible for those around the suicide (person). It is a selfish act; nothing more, nothing less. Thankfully there were no suicides yesterday.

I also pondered my existence and the relationship of what I'm now doing from what I want to do and what I have done. Is it coincidence, fate, planning, folly? I was in a place to help -- somewhat, and I did help, somewhat. Was I supposed to help? Was I supposed to be available? God knows, I don't.

Restless sleep -- mind focused on little ... I don't want another yesterday. If I had to relive things, I would have to sonsider that this day I might have to relive.