Jump Jive Wail away

Brian Setzer doesn't need to put this to music. My mother today did quite a bit a of work on her PT and the Physical Therapists stated that for bi-lateral (both) knee replacement recipient; she's doing about average. Her problems aren't in the relearning to walk, but rather in controlling her blood sugar (she isn't cheating), and getting her blood pressure and heart rate to real levels. They have her on many meds to control the BP, but they still aren't enough. She can't leave ICU until she's off IVs, and so there she stays.

My father is not dealing with it. He "looked like a tick, about to exploded"+. He sleeps worse than I do, or rather he can't think of speak at his level of stress and restlessness. I sleep poorly, but have gotten used to it -- whatever that means. I think he's remain a mess until she's discharged from ICU. ICU is also a pain in that they have no long visitation periods. In minutes it goes 30, 30, 60, 30, 90, 30 spread throughout the day. The patient isn't capable of sleeping because of background noise, pestering about meds, vitals, confort. It is a real treat there, I tell you.

I saw the tail end of her PT today. She nearly cried, but she merely winced and was flat-out worn and spent. She actually rested during a visiting time, so I popped in, sat, watching her sleep with heavy and quick breaths. Her heart rate is way too high for resting. She complained of wheezing today. The stress of being there isn't helping her get out.

Fire then hire

Canterbury Schools is now hiring middle school teacher, I wonder how/why.

all about the Drama

My sister called her daughter "drama queen" yesterday.  I suppose that isn't bad, considering that she knows (and does) the symptoms and characteristics.

 

"You know what I'm going to get you for Christmas Mom?  I'm gonna get you a cross; so that whenever you feel unappreciated, you can just nail yourself up on it for everyone to see."+

 

My sister likes martyrdom, "the hours are good and [she] like[s] the pay"++.  I've understood her feelings/need for the drama.  I don't think she was missing attention, though another sister got more of it, through trouble-causing.

 

+ Ref, movie

++ Law & Order episode where a stand-up comic is suspected of his wife's murder; the quote in in reference to being an SOB, for wife beating (and other abuses)

shaved with a blender

I shaved today and masacred my face.  It looks mangled, well ... I can tell, many others wouldn't notice.  I gueess I shouldn't try to use bladed items when tired and stressed in the background.

Map to the stars

As I pulled into the parking garage, a man gave me a hospital campus map. I was going to "tell him [I've] already got one", but since he was likely a volunteer, that wasn't nice. I took it and parked the car. I just thought it odd, since I found my way around, why I would need a map now, but that's no big deal. In my mind -- map to the stars' homes, like patient 23A19, TK421, and more.

The expansion of the campus might make it difficult to master navigation, for say 10 minutes, then you're completely in control, unless you're a fool and/or a bad driver.

zombies

Father didn't play golf yesterday. His partner didn't want to play in gloom and mist. A couple of players went on to experience heavier rain before quitting. Father also finsihed early with poker -- not winning and came home to rest. This morning, he looked unrested. On the way back from hospital, he was blinking often. I was driving, making the trip less scary.

Mother wasn't rested. She was loopy with sleeplessness, pain meds, and other meds. She ate more of a meal today. Last night, she tried the veggie lasagna and ate it pretty well. She had "perfect shaped" french toast which she ate most. Her appettite is slowly returning. She's plain tired of being there, I can't blame her. Her vitals are still high yielding yet another day there in ICU.

She is also experiencing "sub" week, in that two of her regular doctors have substitutes this week (those fellow doctors working in a group). I don't think she likes that too well.
.......
I am now trying to switch from coffee to juice whenever possible. It can be a little less acidic and destructive, but not always. My stomach is still queazy most of the time. I caught 7 minutes of sleep at hospital and felt rested this morning until I sat down again, then the blanket of grogginess hit me again. Between my father and I, my father is the worse for wear. He dislikes hospitals and doesn't really know what to do. He's used to giving commands -- directing, but here, now -- nothing. He's in control of squat! In this matter, he's neutered and it isn't a pretty sight.

I am suffereing, but less so, because I have had practice with pain and sorrow and loathing. I also have a job that I must take -- stone, for Father and family are jello or water. They can erode me with time, but I stand firm and must be different.

Consumed

Sometimes I feel much like Hercules, where problems-hydra swallows me whole. Despite my valiant effort to lop off the head, more problems arise in it's place, either of equal size or equal ferociety. In the end, despite my strength and would-be skill, it is luck and naivity that saves me.

on whose side is it?

Blog this photo

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Flickr or blogspot is failing me, sadly not for the last time.

stupid, funny humor by late night

“Oh, sure, you can have snakes on a plane, but shampoo and toothpaste...forget it.” --David Letterman

….

“David Hasselhoff was arrested for driving under the influence. Cops thought Hasselhoff could be under the influence when they noticed his talking car was slurring its words.” --Conan O’Brien  

 

crooks and crocks

Dear [my name],

Our human resources department recently viewed the résumé you have posted online. We are Next Generation Solutions, a national advertising, consulting, and marketing company. We help our customers find online solutions for their advertising and marketing programs. I feel you may be the right candidate for the Advertising Executive position that we have available in your local area.

An Advertising Executive will work with our creative team to develop marketing (online and traditional) strategies for our clients. Our clients range from small businesses to Fortune 500 companies. Strategies include advertising and PR campaigns. Our goal is to provide each client with a custom solution to meet the client's goal below the budget the client has set.

The person we are seeking must be creative and be able to think outside the box, yet cognitive of real world budgets and client objectives. We are looking to provide clients with campaigns that bring results, not awards.

We offer the following compensation package:

• $65,000 annual base salary
• Quarterly bonuses based on performance
• Medical benefits
• Tuition reimbursement
• Rapid advancement opportunities
• 401-K
• Paid vacation and sick leave

If you feel this position may be right for you, please click on the link below and complete the online application:

------- from the same company -------------
Dear [my name],

We are Next Generation Solutions, a company deeply involved in national advertising, consulting, and marketing. Our main focus is to help our customers find online solutions for their advertising and marketing programs. We are searching for a tutor to fill a role at one of our client's main sites. Our human resources department saw your résumé online and referred it to me as a possible candidate for this position.

A tutor will have the responsibility of working with a number of clients with varied interests and acting as a mentor and authority on said interest - whether it be a student preparing for a major test or a housewife interested in gardening, we have a wide variety of open positions for people who are clear, concise, and know what they're talking about in a given field. The ability to express yourself in a manner that is easily understood by others when not face-to-face will be a key to success in this challenging position. You will be able to work from your home office and this could also lead to a management opportunity with our organization.

We offer the following compensation package:

• $22.50 hourly salary
• Weekly and monthly bonuses based on performance
• Medical benefits
• Tuition reimbursement
• Rapid advancement opportunities
• 401-K
• Paid vacation and sick leave

If you feel this position may be right for you, please click on the link below and complete the online application


.........
Which one would you take? Are they legitimate?

Hospital fling

Mother had PT and hated it, but apparently did very well. They didn't have her do it in the afternoon. Her friend, Betty, came in while Betty herself was in hospital. Her daughter Patsy was there. Betty is unsure about moving to rehab hospital. Mother seemed optimistic.

She was in good spirits, but was very sore. She liked her first meal today -- veggie lasagna. She favors the diabetic sweets though, pudding, cheesecake. She did more time on the auto bending machines. Her pain is less, but her work is greater. She is to move more and has a series of exercises that she is to do. She has a tendency not to do them. I believe that she now realizes that the PT (physical therapists) are not the enemy, but rather assisting and insisting.

She hasn't really slept, so that hopefully is in the works tonight. She doesn't watch TV as much of it is crud and crude. She gets pestered at least every hour, usually more often.

Father, needing a break, went golfing today. The weather was continually misty today, but they all went. He was to follow that with poker. He hinted that he may not make it all night, but would try. He is still looking groggy and sleepy.

I found the hospital courtesy wi-fi helpful.

I haven't slept well, but have higher hopes tonight. I started blinking around 12 something last night, but this morning it felt like a large stone on me, holding me fast to my bed. This come, leave, come, leave bit doesn't make it any better. When she's off the ICU, I'll rest better. Visitors will get to stay. Her blood pressure is still too high, she's still getting nitro drip -- increased tonight, and her blood sugar is 200 + every reading.

She'll be here for a while.

Botany Bay

Botany Bay
Originally uploaded by MDH, II.

Damn! I've got to get out of there! I think that this year would be a bad year to be a male teacher. Hey, he touched my scalp in a wrong way! I think that he's flirting with me when he calls me up to the desk for my poor test grades.

under arrest

under arrest
Originally uploaded by MDH, II.

Another pedophile arrested, this time in FW -- teacher at Cantebury Green. He likes little boys.

"Senior Pastor Ron Allen of Heartland Community Church, 1025 Vance Ave, where Smith previously volunteered and helped youth pastors, said he believed the allegations will be disproved.

“This is old news,” said Allen, who noted everybody works in teams at the church so nobody is ever alone with children. “I knew about this probably since 2002. This is going to be a non-event. When I talked to the people in Kokomo, they’ve said if there was anything to the charges, something would’ve come out of them in 2001.”"

So, this pastor knew of the allegations in 2001, then went ahead and kept him with kids. Five years later, the same kid comes forward -- lie, perhaps not.

lovely pinnacle

sleepines -- may I rest in peace

something about nothing, sleepless me

I'll ramble from here on out -- bare with me or ignore it all.

 

My age, as it is -- midlife, makes dating difficult.  There are many women my age and age area (within 7 years), but .... so many are married.  Couple this with no 30-40s some safe dating area where there aren't -- are you gonna marry me before we kiss, or I'm fine with you, as long as you don't mind the U-Haul of emotional baggage I carry (for both sexes and genders).

 

I saw a woman tonight that was cute ... nice, damnit -- married!  One piece of advice; if you don't want to have persons/people stare at your butt --- don't have a cute one, don't advertise it with underwear that show through your clothes.

 

I think that I'm a little wiser on the Jacob Marley entering the scene with clanking chains that are the ones forged in life, link by link, chain by chain, yard by yard ... and there is the "baggage".  I think that, although I have Spiderman-level of hangups, I'm not toting around so many chains.  It would be nice to find someone of the same calibur -- though a bit of my opposite.

 

I'm not interested in a Jessica Simpson (or her character) pretty and completely stupid -- that's a rose that needs lost of weeding and tending.  I also wouldn't want a woman so interested in thinking that intimacy (more than, but including physical) would be "wasteful".

 

I guess -- I'd like Leila (from Furturama) who myoptically pilots a delivery ship and who can compassionately kick my ass.

confidence high

I, and I alone, visited my mother last night in hospital.  She was in fairly good spirits.  It took a couple of hours to get an IV person to get the blood into her veins.  She was given two more units of blood, as after two days of waiting, the numbers came back still a little low.  She took less pain meds today.

 

My father is a wreck, but I'm around so that he can unwind with some golf and poker.  He's in a weekly golf league on Tuesdays and plays poker about every other week on Tuesday.  He was plain whipped so I went to hospital and saw mom.

 

There is a woman there, pacing unable to do much, while her husband is to undergo heart surgery again.  She looks my age, but I understand that she's fifty (she hides it very well).  I could do little but wave to her.  Still, she paces.

 

I found that, when I get a chance to walk -- it's much like a full marathon, shedding weight from my shoulders and back, feeling better -- then slump, back into waiting.  My eyes feel heavy, but I can't sleep well.

"I don't know what I'm doing.  No one will tell me.  I think this was a big mistake Grandma.  I don't think I belong here."+

 

 

+ Platoon

As a simple side note, my brother-in-law wrote to the folks, graciously thanking them for the birthday card and gift.  His year is another round of BS and that's not bachelors.  I read the letter to Mom, and I dare say that his letter was hurried, as it was a tad difficult to read.  Mind you, I can read preschool writing.  His broad loops -- old French style, made it an interesting, but challenging bit.

 

Much to Mother's worry and bewilderment, is that her friend, Betty will be discharged from same hospital on Wednesday, there transferred to rehab, though different than Mother's prospective rehab hospital++.  Mom may or may not see her again soon.

 

Betty's daughter must decide where Betty is to go.  Her daughter's hands are "full" with many other obligations.  On top of that, Betty is not interested in assisted living -- nor are most/all patients in nursing homes.

 

++ assignment of rehab hospitals is based on:  need, criteria, ratios.

1.  need -- can patient do rehab in other fashion, not in-house

2. basis of need -- phsyical, neurological

3. New to me:  ratios.  There are some facilities that must maintain ratios of say (percentages picked out of thin air) 62% physical rehab (limb removal, replacement), 25% neurological (e.g.: siezure), 12% other (other prosthetic like eye, inner eye, etc.).  So, a building can't be 100% hip and knee replacement patients.

 

That's crazy, but that's insurance policy/demands, and government standards for payout.

--

It is very, very, likely that Mother will be at the campus rehab at Lutheran, but that hasn't been made as she's not yet in her standard room.

machines

Mother is improving and she is "attached" to machines that bend her knees.  She isn't doing as much on PT as they would like, so they are using machines to do it for her.  She claimed that it wasn't too bad -- felt good.  I'm sure that she was stiff, but isn't up to lifting her legs and doing much of anything on her own.

 

She's clearer, focussed and hoping and dreaming of going to REHAB hospital soon.  I think that it'll be later, perhaps next Monday, as her Pulse, Heart rate and Blood Pressure are all too high, despite a nitro drip and a couple other meds.  The doctors came about to see her, ensuring her that she won't sleep.  In a retort to a doctor who came in while she was drifting off to sleep, "how can I".

 

She's in better spirits.

How the world turns

It appears that my mother is improving.  She is clear(er) than she has been.  She is in pain only from the PT, but she is improving.  I have been driving my father and myself back and forth to hospital several times daily.

 

I thank everyone for their wishes and prayers and will contact people later when these ICU crappy times ebb, in favor of a new matrix -- regular room and longer visiting times.

Nightmare

On Friday, my mother experienced a psychotic episode. It was terrible to experience. To make things worse, my niece needed a ride, my sister who couldn't handle my mom's psychotic episode didn't know how to get to the school. Sadly, I had to leave her there and it tore her to shreds. I then had to tell my father, but he took some news better than I thought. He's sleepless and looks like Hell. I am thankful I am driving him.

Sadly, I have so many frustrations and no way to solve them. My two sisters from Indy area are up here, otherwise I might better be able to deal with my stress in a loud way. Again, I bury my problems to release the emotional pandora's box later.

I must be strong -- I didn't ask for it.
...........
The psychotic episode was brought on by at least four main factors: pain from double-knee replacement surgery and back spasms, dangerously high blood pressure, high blood sugar (she's diabetic), possible reaction to four pain medications she was taking.

While I will never forget it, my mother has no recollection of it. Good for her, it might affect her badly to know what happened.

Holes!

If only it were a happy-ending movie about juvenille boys in a correctional detention center in the desert looking for hidden treasure. No, it is about the holes in my stomach that are growing. I've not had my stomach checked, but I feel the holes -- acid, burning, despite my eating Tums and Pepcid AC like candy. If I could find a way out of stress, I could eliminate the pain once and for all, but that isn't soon coming.

My sleep is in theory only. I rest, I lie in bed, but never feel rested.

My mother was moved from one unit to the ICU for a dangerously high blood pressure. When I left her tonight, she was in some pain, but her blood pressure was just fine. She's still delusional, but has longer periods of somwhat effective communication. It is taking a toll on my father.

I predict that she'll be transferred out of ICU back to the regular unit tonight or tomorrow.
I wish I smoked.