Day 3 ...

I did a little more today. I got my computer and it was working. The problem is getting over the hurdle of the interface. There are four programs that they use. There is a fifth that many use, but it is the "old" system. Those who used it, love it and hate the new system.

The new program has advantages and disadvantages. It uses Windows capabilities and defeats other Windows capabilities. Because of the manner of data storage, the SQL is limited and needs more versatility and wildcards. What the users forget is that the system has to track down millions or billions of part numbers and correlate that to orders, inventory and more. Of course it should require some human-factor thinking (part number containing "7") should not be an allowable function -- consuming very valuable resources. On the same token, you may not know much about the part number so you should be able to do more with description, regardless whether you know the manufacturer.

This is also true if company A is bought be company B. Now, Company A might continue to produce the part and name it Company B; may manufacture a new part with Company A; outsource old part to Company C. This is where the complexity begins. Okay, I understand that some person may not know the part number, but they ought to have an idea what it is, right?

Part of my job will be finding parts for people who don't know the part numbers.
Another part of my job will be to order parts, ensuring that we have the parts (informing the customer approximae time of delivery) and getting prices.

The prices are the biggest mess of all.

Service Company F has a certain volume of business and gets __% off list price, unless ...
there is only a Net price listed
If the sale is a quote, numbers are rounded to integer dollars and freight is seemingly arbitrarily guessed.
I can see few instances when my team members actually calculate weight of parts for shipping.

I have a lot to learn, but I can, if given the chance, do much now.

last bit of last day

pick up G, for she doesn't have license or car (there)

drop off G for same reasons

got back round 10pm
tired on first day ... boring, not a good start

What stayed with me was feeling of love, hugs and kisses I got.
I'm an ass, bastard, jerk, putz, numbnutz, but still got rewards for effort, for trying (other than trying others' patience)

In my mind, would like to see one girl turn to novelist
one girl turn to nurse
one girl get her humor and childhood back -- then become a program manager for multiple facilities
one man finish his degree (after changing twice) to physics then marry the nurse

see one woman end her relationship with guy in favor of being a person more in control of her life (mother of two) and her defunct bf who is on the chronic fatigue side

In confession, strongly like one woman, have a fading crush on the program manager -- wish her my best

I would like to see the one girl develop into woman and defy all odds and be exceed her potential. Uncomfortable with herself and success, she will, for a long time, suffer

Chris

Chris Hogan

* thanks Dave

She

Little girl, baby ... I've never been a father, "daddy", uncle yes. Little girl seeks me out ... wants to write me. Again, I am spoken about in corners, shadows, "is it okay". It hurts that I can't call her "little girl", "daughter", "baby". Her generous nature is natural ... she doesn't know it hurts that others care about me. I hardly share a thing in my mind, let alone my true passions ... this little girl ... melts my heart


a stone giant brought to his knees

softy inside

Girl who would be woman ... the Nobel Peace Prize could not bring pride as great as this. "daddy" would melt me as sure as the sun a candle ... young friend, I cherish the moment I read your letter, you honor me with any letter even ... da da da "X"

I am touched

first day at work

I just watched someone work today. I nearly fell asleep. Hey, guys! Why don't you go ahead and let me work, eh?

burdon of youth

Here is Joshua! I'm sure that the grandparents will eventually let Jeff and Paula hold him.

I would like to post Christopher pictures, but ... I don't have any,

ahem, Dave, JJ?

sweet girl broke my heart

It was my last day with many people last night. There was a kid there who broke my heart completely apart. She asked me for my mailing address so that she could write me.

That hurt! It still hurts when I think of it.

Dear sweet girl. I hope I get to read something from her.

It was the gesture I'll remember ... even if she never writes.

She coupled it with hugs.

Again ... hurts that I never was a daddy, happy that I might have been a good man around some people. I was considered good role model at work and uncle to at least one person (not the aforementioned girl).

Like a marinette

I am cutting my strings from work. I hope to finally burst out into, first "F---ing hurray!" Then, "I've got no strings to hold me down..."




Italian version

Counting down

four
more
days

I was very naughty, bad, insolent, sent to the corner, bad, bad man


Oh, and I was asked, in the future, if I would like to attend a wedding (years in the making), perhaps in a wedding party. I, of course, accepted. The couple are two kids who met at work, happily twitter pated with each other.

You have new crap!

Well, no. It's old crap redone. I looked at cash last night... huh, $1500 short. I don't think so. I called the GM and surprise, surprise, surprise (Jim Neighbors as Gomer Pyle), somebody didn't enter in money. You'all accost me for errors when I get this? B---S---! Take that job and love, I ain't workin' there no more!

I have four days left and it is much like a man waiting parole ... "time, it take time..."+

I came in yesterday and a vital piece of equipment was ... not work, go figure! Later, the computer was as reliable as France as an ally in a war. I had to restart it. Pretty soon, the hillbilly state of affairs there will be clear. You have four computers and none of them work. How is this different than white trash and redneck?

+Scorpions, "Still Lovin' You"

feeling bad about it

No, I won't write about my "fling thing", but rather that a girl at work approached me, pouting, "You're leaving" and I am to feel guilty about it. I don't feel guilty for getting a better job -- no way! I feel sad that I will not directly see these people, and kids, grow and move on. It isn't like they don't plan on leaving anyway ... why should I feel guilty.

I care, and that is why I don't belong. I was reminded that I was one of a few people who cared, therefore unlike the other managers. I was an aberration, shock to the system. I didn't fit and had to go, better by choice.

I guess I'm Guilty, and not just of leaving.

days ago, a "wonderful" trip home

Later I got a white out. Nice.

dissolution solution

Be it Neil Diamond's "Love on the Rocks" or "To the Left" it is the commonplace for divorce. I am no exception. I will honestly type that my marriage was stupid ... doomed before its creation. We had a bad relationship and the marriage didn't miracle away any problems. It's almost better if the divorce happens early, as later there are so many deep wounds that by time the actual paperwork is complete, these once beloved happy couple are often caged pit dogs, fighting for survival.

I therefore have, with some reservations, respect for those who live together without marriage, for they can somewhat keep autonomy, never sharing their legal debt. I will also submit that marriage ought to be more difficult, since divorce itself is easy -- agreeing on division of assets, debt, and custody are the stumbling blocks.

I believe, men too, fall into the allure of the marriage being a fairy tale where wishes come true, hearts unite and arguments are few and far between. Then, cold fate moves in the house for a "short stay", a financial hardship, too many hours away from each other, interference from others -- ghosts taking their grizzly toll on a happy couple.

When you fall in deep, true love, the person should be so lovable that you would enjoy them, some limitations apply, if they were injured in an accident; jobless for a long time; shockingly opposite of you in a critical way (cleanliness vs sloppiness for example); luckless; suffering from a deflated ego, etc.

The marriage should be an equitable trade -- since the relationship isn't ONE person, then ONE person can't make all of the decisions. You love a person for who they are, their limitations notwithstanding. If you find that one true love -- not only who "rocks your world", but who would love you equally -- in fair weather, and bitter despair. Would you hold hands, hug, kiss, playfully talk, grow and die together if you were dirt poor -- incalculably rich? Would you call that person friend -- true friend, sharing every detail of your life with her/him?

Would you tell them the bad things you did; the good things you did; what you wanted to do; what you'd like to do? Could you ask them for a favor, be glad to do them a favor? I think the faith -- lack of fullness, wholeness, complete friendship is a big cause of marriage failures.

"Money problems" is often cited, but there are many happy poor couples, who hobble together, slowly, surely, hand in hand, together. Death of your one true love only means you have to wait to see them again. You can see that person again, with you, the voice, essence, being. A friend would tell you when you are wrong, support you in need, pick you up when you are down. A friend loves you, no matter your "faults", for who you are matters more.

If you have a friend who is a spouse, then you have a great thing, all other limitations can be "worked around". If your spouse was not a deep, close, personal friend, then you aren't close enough. If you have a "I don't share this" with your spouse ... mate, one true love, then with whom do you share it?

In my case, while I shared much of me -- she needed me for survival -- for her frailty was self-perpetuated. She favored her sadness. I could not call her a friend when she needed more than the two of us combined. She could not give for she always needed. She was not, in the end, a friend on whom I could rely, not nearly close enough.

I write this because of a recent divorce of friends who seemed like a good couple. I don't know their story. I know of another couple who may split and a different couple whose non-marriage is indicative of its invalidity.

Other cases is that you have couples who never really were honest with each other and others didn't explore each other -- who each was, knowing yourself first, the other person second -- that person finding out about you what you didn't know.

damn

Either through asexual reproduction or through other means, my bills are ... well, mating or something.

I paid you.

I'm his little brother.

Well, looking at the dollar figure I wouldn't call you the "little" brother.

more debt ... yeah!

It looks like I'll be asking for any and all overtime at my new job.

oregano sasperilla (speaking forward in reverse)

clocks cleaned out with brushes and haste, mind aflutter, bats flee their roost
my cluttered mind filled with messes old, present and new from work
finally I can sweep my mind free of them
lost to me
I am sad -- my ties to a few people will be severed
I am not sorry I am going, but rather sorry that I don't get to contact these good people

I know heartily they will not seek out me
____________________________
With a promise of a good day and time off for good behavior and work, I shall finish two resumes for people, begin again grant searching for business grants so that I might consult on my off hours

So much to do, 'so much to say, so much to say'+

+ Dave Matthews

pwescious

bloodshot eyes and a taste for conversation lead me to friends at Granite City tonight. I met up with friends I haven't seen in year and talked a good bit. Good news about Jeff & Paula -- Joshua was early. Congratulations to them, now three, this new family!

Gosh ... friends or be with new family ...
flip coin

huh, family came up first ... imagine that! Good choice!

Anyway, expensive, but neat Granite City was ok. I liked the staff, the night, the reminiscing and our happy spirits. With a short line of drinks I favored Miller Light, who would have guessed?

Anyway, it was great seeing Tim, Todd, Mike, Keith, Dave (who was able to get away). Cheers and may we met up again!

word to the wise

When at a hotel, do not rest your key card next to your cell phone or other credit cards as it may become demagnetized. I experienced this twice. I think I have learned my lesson.

Heat on high before I

Heat on high before I got here. I would guess about 95 degrees

fog rain pain... friend lost

fog rain pain... friend lost her job today. gloomy in so many ways. at least she knows she can call me. an ear

seeing eye kid

There was a family last night who came in, party of four ... one on a leash. Now, I've seen child leashes, generally something attached to the wrist, but some are on a harness (nylon or cotton/poly). This family had a leather leash, like a dog, attached to their child. I was filled with disgust. Look, I can understand that RARE children are otherwise very difficult to control. Resorting to a leather leash ... the issue lies not with the child, but the lack-of parenting.