death of a paycheck

I dropped off my car to be checked, whether the battery was why my car wouldn't stay running or else. It was not the battery said Auto Zone who nicely, free of charge, charged it and did an analysis ... taking 4 hours. It was 8, and they weren't going to put it back in that night (though open until 9). I got there at 8 in the morning, but they weren't open.... wait, wait, wait...
8:20 some one flies in with keys ... others were there, but they couldn't / didn't do the register.
I got my battery back, but had to install it myself ... ya!

I drove it a short distance to a garage ... diagnosis --- alternator is shot. They tried for a while to find one. They did find one in Indy -- perhaps would be there the next day.

The estimate --- $350 about. That is about the value of the car ... great!

I will have to find a replacement for the vehicle this year, I suspect.

car troubles

My car troubles here, remind me of one other time. Years ago

I was living in Wisconsin, with my then-fiance' and was driving on the highway back to the house when the drive lost power and died. It had run out of oil and had seized. I had bought it 2 months prior. I had no cell phone. I was slimy and dirty from work (foundry work). So... I stopped where I could -- side of the exit ramp (up) and walked to a house (farm house) where they were not willing to let me use the phone. It was now 6 pm, dark, wintery -25 F. At stop number two, I was able to use -- get this, an outdoor phone near a barn.

I called X. She was eating dinner with her mom and her mother's 5th husband. I told them my problem and got the response, "So what do you want me to do about it?"

uh ... I can think of no rational person who wouldn't understand that the caller would like assistance ... a ride, out of the cold, perhaps dinner after working a long day ... walking in the cold. I simplified my answer. I walked back to the car -- never anyone pausing to see if I needed help near the car with blinking lights, in the cold. I waited, and waited and waited.

I went into a fetal position in the back seat for warmth. After a while, my anger kept me warm. Around an hour later -- travel time from location was about 9 minutes, they arrive -- annoyed they had to come. They asked me to try to start it. Wow! It wouldn't turn over -- it was seized. They had the great idea of me -- alone pushing the boat of a car up the exit ramp on slippery roads. Bright idea -- didn't work. They eventually bumped it up and onto the other road ... the direction away from where I needed to go.
Brilliant!
So ... after about 2 and a quarter hours ... I get out of the cold, into the car ... the mood was colder than the winter. I return, have no dinner, tired and am out of luck. Much like tonight. Thankfully, Indiana isn't typically -25 F without windchill, unlike Wisconsin which gets that cold.

It was my only winter there ... married then separated, then the long process of divorce from a quack.

Later, in unwanted corospondence ... I was told, stupidly, that the used car dealer would have bought the piece of crap back from me ... really?! Did they pocket more of my money up there? Thank goodness! It might have burnt me.

This car -- now battery-less had been smashed on the side -- by me vs cemet pillons, an old man backing down the drive, at least one bump and run, and a woman backing into me at a light. The dents inward made it smaller -- if you can make a clown car smaller.

circling the coffee shops

Parting from the typical fare of beer, MR and I popped about getting coffees. He really liked the vending machine at the library, but wanted to try other coffees -- laden with flavorings. I believe he liked white mocha, of the selections we got, the best.

In his mind, a guy sitting at a computer, who asked us how to get to Bluffton, IN was cruising ... uh, and not the net. It wasn't clear to me. Sorry ... not gay -- wouldn't anyway.

Anyway, the second stop there was the lady barista who looked very similar to a woman who works at Applebees -- our normal stop on Wednesdays. She wasn't her, but I had to work to block that thought from my mind. It was loading up with people later on -- 7 something. There were some kids looking at MR and I while we played chess. I was reminded of the vultures circling pool tables at bars. I discovered that they weren't interested in playing, but rather in staring, I guess.

MR beat me in around 20 moves (each player making 20 moves), perhaps less. To finish the evening, we watched Renenge of the Sith, finding new critiques and voice-overs. Maia (cute little white dog who has a Mickey Mouse look when playful) wanted to play, for hours, and hours, and hours, and then some. Toward the end of the evening, she was prying through my jacket pockets, looking for goodies -- where I often keep them. It is odd, perhaps, that I buy dog treats, yet don't have a dog of my own. There are just so many around. I guess, now, I also need to get cat treats for Cerpicio and Paula, as they have 2 cats.

A tip -- especially for those who don't often drink coffee -- don't drink late at night and don't drink much ... no expresso. I'm a little energetic, but am growing sleepy.

car service

or is it ... owned?!

My car was not holding a charge, which meant two very likely possibilities: the battery was bad or the alternator was bad.
I pulled my weak car into Auto Zone, at my father's suggestion, as they check batteries at no cost. They tried a diagnostic ... and the engine wouldn't run long enough to complete the test. They pulled the battery and charged it, then tested it -- taking four hours. After this time, I called them to find out what, if anything they determined. They reported that the battery was ... okay.

That's bad. An alternator costs much more to install. To couple this problem, they didn't re-install the battery before they closed. I now have no car, must wait until it opens AND someone installs the battery before I can drive it to get it repaired. In the meantime I have a job in the afternoon -- thankfully within walking distance and one all day on Friday. Joy of joys --- spend my I don't have on this -- and waiting more time ... of course.

God loves me, luck hates me.

Timely demise of my stinking bucket o' bolts

alas ... the 11 year mark and I see the start of many parts failing and the vehicle dollar and dollaring me to death.
11 years I think is like 110 car years, right?

It has served me, but I think that it will not last much longer. What a grand time to time ... winter! Maybe I'll luck out and find a reasonable car on a lot that an owner wishes to not pay on taxes.

Cans

That's right! Mafia-run Waste Management has dropped off cans to each of it's "customers", not that any resident has any choice.

The cans -- around 5' tall, were gingerly laid in the street so that cars and vehicles can crash into them. Why would they do that? Simple: they were too lazy to drop them off last month (when they were due), it was too much effort to actually move your butt off the truck.

We ensure our jobs by wasting your time!

Criping number two: this is THE CAN that each customer will use for trash. There will not be a two nor a three. There shall not be a one, unless it stops at a one. More ... is right out. The number of the cans shall be one, and one shall be the number of the count.
And the company did grin and the customers did pay, out the ___; out the ying-yang; out the wazzoo; out the backside; and did pay more money

Revision: customers may use other pre-existing (store bought)additional cans. Customer may obtain additional Waste Management cans for $2 per month ... forever.MR reported to me that there were two stickers (I got them too) that could be put on any cans to be destroyed. The caveat, unwritten, was that they must be put out the week after (only) the new can was received. Thereafter -- they don't do squat.His area was recently annexed -- to all of that area's opposition, and were subjected to King George taxation and subjegation.

Backing into a crash

Thankfully, God was looking out for me, as I near crashed into someone. It was due to my haste -- not taking long enough to look, and the vast array (banquet) of vehicles parked along the street that made visibility difficult.

Thanks God!

about a boy

let's call him John Doe.

It is strange coincidence that a day or so ago, I posted about single-motherhood. I was given a very brief biography on a boy, whose mother apparently decided that she no longer wanted to be one, so she sent him to the biological father to raise. This man had not seen the boy in 8 years, had no experience being a father, and was living with his grandmother. Now, why would a person do that?
I would break this case (individual) to selfishness. I was given to undertand that she was a pot dealer who had spent a number of times in jail and that the boy had more hardship than I have ever had. Obviously, there was a better solution. I think now, though, erasing the abadndoining once-mother, would be primary. Then, find suitable caretakers of the boy.
All things considered, the boy is not too bad. He has been diganosed with ADHD, but his father doesn't believe in medicine. How ironic that the mother dealt drugs and the new-father doesn't believe in prescribed medicine.

Poor John ... I hope that someone adopts him and loves him. I am unsure of the new parent -- seems all too odd and sad to me.

party invite

Mr. H., do you know where Candlelight ______ is?
Yes.
Well, do you know where # ______ is?
Uh, no.
Well, it's on the corner .... (other details)
You can come to my birthday party. And you can bring your bathing (swimming, I presume) suit.

Thanks for the invite Jasmine!

stupid entry

Wild Gun Man
highest level... 64
In the arcade I would have never made it so far and would have never seen that the score rolls over like an odometer. Okay ... why the zeros? In the game many of the pointer are based on dollars for reward for criminals who may or may not draw on you.
---
criping ... games not requiring accuracy, unlike Wild Gun Man that counts a loss if you shoot before they draw, why have a fire button if there is never an advantage to not firing? If there is no accuracy % and that if you aren't firing, you are risking your "life" ... why stop firing? Why even make a fire button?

2. If are are entering into a game, why is your character invariably ill-equipped, such as a knife to a machine gun battle. There is tough and there is suicidal. Unarmed, I shall take on these 40 some people. I see their guns, but will prefer a club.

Hmmm Matrix got those ideas from somewhere --- moreover .... no.... I won't start tearing that movie apart --- too many comments will arise.
---
back to classic games: Bomberman ... I never played until this game system. What a wacky game!
Olympics ... ah, yes. I remember full well the Atari single joy with top left button. In the running games you had to jiggle the joy back and forth, usually holding the thing near your stomach. It was not a thing to see. Did the creators see what the results were? From the back you see only shoulder and arm movement in a predictable pattern. Worse was commentary ... "Come on! Get going! Almost there!"

Secrets

a human concept

Either you keep them or you don't. I have so many, then I think about them it hurts. Perhaps, one day, before I die ... I can't forget them all. They are not military secrets. They aren't slander about any other person. Things spoken ... knowing that the listener listened and won't then speak. For when I listened ... I learned. I felt no different, really, about any person who spoke to me, but it did make me think and was emotive.

In retrospect ... even my own, have helped me be what and who I am. It helps that I don't hate myself.

My secrets about me ... I don't like typing and I don't like talking about me.

pure conjecture

I believe that more and more "popular" music focusses on the objectivity of women -- mainly as sex object and in some cases toys -- merely living, but inanimate objects. My hypothosis is: (assuming that the lyrics are reasonable foundation for the author's general belief system regarding sex and gender roles)
Is the intent of the discourse to fit in to the growing trend toward sexual prowess over others, sexual pomp and circumstance or (here is the dangerous statement); the attempt to subordinate a woman-figure, since, for so-long being controlled in a single-mother household?

In other words, finally free of being "dominated" by the only parent figure -- mother, a man acts out in opposition to authority, in a way he could never do with his only authority figure. The woman -- being more than a placebo for the mother, is a model of the authority, with specific differences in that a different relationship is formed with another woman, sexual in nature.
Being controlled is a terrible stigma in many groups -- more so in urban areas where you can gain status through subjegating others. This comes into play greater in institutions -- schools, detention centers, jails, prisons. A continuing and escalating cycle of control and violence to maintain that control manifests itself in quasi-obsession. OIn that failure to fully dominate this other, relegates the man back to the boy -- psyche in anguish.
Combine this with drug and stimulant use -- stimulants may include social seclusion through many avenues including single-player video games for many hours both buidling asocial tendencies and diminished discernment of non-comparable simuli.
Moreover, aggressive games (and violent games also) tend to favor the schema of subjegating others to your will. Many games offer reinforcement in that the greater the violence and aggression, the greater the outcome -- success and or short-goals (points). Media exaggerbates this with reverence for violent celebrities who include sports figures.

Aside: Bobby Knight -- a chronological adult, foul-mouthed, violent, even choking students and adults, was allowed to stay at IU Bloomington for many years despite his criminal behavior and was adored for it. I personally wished he had been in jail and would still be there.

Although it's nice to say, "there it is ... that's the problem right there!", but it isn't that simple. Even clearer is that, if the causation were just that -- and nothing else, how would you improve it and change it? Would you conjure reasonable, rational fathers out of the air?

An urban single mother, having little money for herself, now has at least one child. This strain worsens as the child and the mother grow older. Let us examine three overly-simplistic, plausable but unrealstic examples:

Mother A: little education, which leads to low-paying jobs. Assuming that she is paid at least minimum wage and has one child, she must know how to get help. Many do not. Assuming that she doesn't get help, either throuugh apathy, ignorance or denial; stress sets in -- tension in family unit. Money then is more important than safety. She might conclude that taking risks is better than not taking risks. Taking risks might include: endangering herself through vocation (illegal activities or activities that surrounded by illegal acts [huh? oh, drugs, theft, prostituion -- payment for sex even if it isn't money), co-habitator choice (man who is engaged in illegal activities or whose presence worsens the family unit -- not being in funds or overspending) or endagering her child through the above scenarios or through abandonment intentionally, disparingly (due to over working), ignorance of importancce.
People tend to learn through environment. What a person imitates is completely dependant on the person. If there is no positive consistent male role model, the child must seek out role models. In the above case, there is neglect -- leaving the child to wonder why. If there are other significant others in the area -- it is likely that the child will seek out those persons -- whether they are good or bad influences. She reacts harshly at seemingly random times and doesn't understand the illogic of children. She is in control sometimes -- harsh when she is. Here, women may be seen as violent, controlling and spiteful. To vanquish this beast, a man must take great conrol, at almost any means -- to defend himself.
add here the concept of large metro areas with gang activity where most children feel compelled to join a gang, leading to criminal activity and encouraging violence.

Mother B: she is better educated, with a more stable income and possibly better resources overall including car, house, furtnishings, food, freinds. While she is raising her son, she -- not a boy, is still ignorant of what boys are, how they change, what they do. Not wanting the son to feel unloved, the mother may overcompensate by either having a series of not-so good role models around or tragically either no role models (wishing to do it all herself) or only family members who are helpful, but aren't a good mix of some differing perspectives. Also, there may be difficulty finding a family member wishing to be father or uncle figure. Perhaps they are too busy or unwilling. The child, bored, seeks out others. Perhaps he finds positive role models, but perhaps not. Again ... a static evironment, leads to boredom. Through growing periods, boys will have testtosterone surges that will make them react like a woman during her menstration cylce ... happy, moody, wild, aggressive ... aloof. During the teen years, this doesn't quiet down or have months off. He never knows what he is. She's in control, but perhaps too much. Perhaps women, for this boy are unimportant or over dominant.

Mother C: a better situation for many. She is capable of caring for herself and at least one other. She is raising her child. She's doing very well and makes opportnities for her son that others could not. To overcompensate for the lack of father, she is all things ... and will not allow others to destroy what she has created. This will-be man is constantly shielded and protected from all things, including his own wrong-doings. While this doesn't, perhaps encourage violence toward women, but it may develop into a poor perspective, in that women are his servents or they are general pawns ... and that men are greater -- especially him.

Anyway ... the hypothosis --- examples, nothwithstanding is: a growing populaiton of women-controlled (single motherhood) of so many single or groups of boys, contributes to the perspective of the need to dominate women -- if through no other means ... sex or through violence.

In the develeopment of sex, it is a hormonal stimulating act, which requires stimulation of testtosterone and adrenaline. Through years of disturbance, and fear, sex becomes and stimulating act of control and dominance. Escalating this to sadism and sexual sadism (including rape) would then not be unpredictable. Preferences for ages may be an overextention of inferiority, fear, and anger. An easier target is one who is more easily dominated -- physically. Thereofore, younger targets are prefered, at least at first.

Cunning can be a powerful addition, in that deception is a greater part of seducing and illiciting a desired response.

NOTE: urban is exactly that... urban. I mean that an urbanite can be of any color, creed, etc.

So very rude

patting your lover's bottom ... "Is this seat taken?"

Hey! That guy didn't get the baseball anywhere!
He's got four balls.
Walk with pride me lad.

Fixing a ladder

An old ladder in the garage to the attic space ... broke, snapped in half, ergo ... kaput.
Now. How do you fix the ladder?
Cut off broken ends; buy new bolts; attach pipe tape (metal hole-punched bands); drill holes; test out fixed ladder.
If ladder breaks; redo
If holes are too close; redo

If you are not interested in project; too bad

The ladder is fixed on the only warm day for January

Car is getting flunky ...
How to fix that car ...
plant C-4; move car to remote location nowhere near any other building or living thing; detonate; be sure to video the explosion and the process

Grin with great pride

oh, oh, oh ... I'm so misinformed

Here, I got rumors that Larry Wachowski is a transexual. That's all wrong, maybe. Apparently he's a cross-dresser. That's all right then?

Gross.

BTW: I hated the movies.

Dear Indy,

If you give the ultimatum of: "If you won't build us a new stadium, we're going to leave", then don't let the door hit you on the ____ on the way out!

Again ... high hopes -- _____ing rubber tree plant or something like that!

This is my message to the Colts!

Grandpas

a teacher was giggling to herself that students were not talking about each other's mothers, nor about each other, but rather trying to get a rise from one another by critiquing or insulting each other's grandfathers. New generation, same story -- level of attack the same, target slightly varied.

Bite me!

statement given to a teacher when directing a third grader to put on her coat.

smoker

a guy with big, bushy hair was sitting, idly watching another person bowl, when he instinctively put his had to his head. The hand held a cigarette which was, of course, hot enough to heat the bountiful hair. TS noticed this and shouted to him, "Larry, your hair's on fire!" He got only a grumble, mumble. "Larry, your hair's on fire!" Grumble, mumble ... huh? He wildly beats at the site of fire in a panic jumping up and down.
Tip: don't have bushy hair or don't smoke.

Ninja bowler

I bowled on a high school league, later at "midnight bowling" with friends. I was never as interested nor intrigued about it as were they. Still, I did bowl and enjoy it when I was in my 20s. I had, to say the least, a poor and quirky style of bowler that caught many people as a guy with the weird stance and throw. Ninja? Why ninja?

On the net today you will see many people who are great fans of Chuck Norris. I too, WAS a Chuck Norris film fan, never having an opinion on the man himself. Granted he's in better shape than I have ever been and will ever be, but I don't watch his work any more.
Anyway ... never having had any training didn't stop me from kicking and punching in a really random manner, hoping that somehow by freakishly doing so, I too would become martial arts master. Many object died due to my perspective. Glasses were smashed onto the ground with my childish thought that with enough speed, a cup would be gravitationally attached to my hand as I rotated it at great speeds. Nope. I spun my hand and it dropped ... shattered, having served its matyr purpose.

One, funnier epside, sad for the slain objects, was when we were playing pool at MR's house, ISJ decided to pitch a bottle cap unto my head. Although it wasn't my shot, I held onto the cue stick, my mighty weapon -- as it turned it was my mighty weapon. It was told to me that much like the slow-motion in many action movies, they watched the cap flip end-over-end til it reached me. It was luck that it hit me, much less my head.
Now. How would a normal person react to be hit lightly by something? They might look around in wonder. I am not the typical person. Armed with the staff of doom, I swung around slashing and smashing anything within a 2' radius. After the 7 second attack, the pool table had a board off and on the floor; at least one picture from the wall was down and the glass broken; the cue stick shaken, but not broken; the walled were scarred a bit; a can lay dead, gushing its contents onto the carpet.

Uh, why? No one knows. I don't know why either. Quick, impulsive responses ... not ninja like -- just wild, uncontrolled recklessness. I was never a good bowler, never a martial artist, but it made a good title for some one who could destroy a room, without a reason that even he could explain.