donkey fallen

donkey fallen
Originally uploaded by MDH, II.

Help, I've fallen, and I can't get up. Also, this dog keeps chewing on me. Hey, is that Shrek just ahead of me, nope. Hey! Oh, no! I'm a chew toy!

Now to bitch about me

I had some sugar today, but my body has processed it like I was at a Hershey factor. I'm a little jittery and can't stop scratching my scalp and arms. Wicked allergy ... what gives? I actually had less sugar today than I did yesterday. Am I diabetic or just allergic to sugar in combination with other substances. I haven't narrowed it down yet. Yikes and I a mess. I am, however experiencing a lull in the symptoms. It's a nasty coaster ride. Who's to blame for this one? I am to blame.

Go-----o----o-----o figure

Go figure this, go figure that. I'm go figure now, cause your head's gotten fat. I don't wanna go 'round saying, "Yo! I be go figure." Cursin' up and down with your finger on the trigger...
oops, that's not 'go figure'. "Chuck D., where are you?"

Public Enemy number one. Public Enemy number one.

Bass in your face, not an eight-track ...

Go on, g-g-g-g-et get down, file complaints' a joke in this town+

Turn it up ... bitch some noise!

"Turn it up! No man, I ain't kiddin' ... turn it up. I can't hear it man!"*

+ Thanks Public Enemy! Too Bad Terminator X wasn't a cyborg sent to destroy injustice.
* Dave Chappelle doing new rapper with severely impaired hearing

I feed the birds and, hey! What the?

pigeon spraying
Originally uploaded by MDH, II.

It's raining today, at least that's my story. You may have misunderstood the situation. That was a game that we were playing. You can see the water balloon just exploded and ...
What's the use. Yes, I've been pooped on by a bird. This isn't me, but it has happened, once at an Amusement Park, Cedar Point in Sandusky, Ohio while with friends. Lovely!

To think that I feed the things. I don't feed pigeons, nor Canadian Geese that are as vile as they are large and poopy.

I celebrate today as candid moment day, where you're wrose fears are experienced -- not the scare of the pigeon, but rather explaining yourself in the restaurant you entered for safety.

"I was trying new hair conditioner", getting a Ben Stiler response in There's Something About Mary.

Tribble with cats

7-17-06 upload 006
Originally uploaded by SKBraun.

The nearest I can figure out is that they're born preganant!

I really don't know this person, but saw the picture -- excellent!

Stack the cats over there please.
Is everyone comfortable?
You've got so much communal purring, I thought it was a shiatsu chair.
Cats? What cats? Those are ... uh, throw pillows.

We are Siamese if you please ... we are Siamese if you don't please. So, please, don't bug us ... we're visually conjoined.

More bitching? More bitching.

I take a person aside who asks, "more bweefing?"
"More briefing. Now, you're not gonna pay attention to any more stupid commercials about how good a movie is, right?"
"Wite"

"There's a good movie -- watch it now!"
... later ...
"What season is it; why it's baseball season, my boy!"

Stephen King mini-series, like caffinated air, why would you? King's It. The title had a misprint which was supposed to put parentheticall, "sucks navel lint". Stephen King's the Stand also had an error in that its full title included ... back from the TV.

Who will sing for the new band INtroublewithfinances ... oh, uh, I mean INXS?
So many of those people, understandbly wanting a chance, any chance, end result married SUCK and had a courship with ASS.+

I think if they pulled their heads away from shock television, they'd find that most of those viewers also watch COPS, Jerry Springer, Soap Operas religiously and are contestants and audience members from which*1 they get their polls of Family Feud.
--
Swim in escriment with your mouth open to catch wriggly eels. The person who catches the most goes on to the next round. There can be only one winner and so if you cut your feet to ribbons on a glass walk, swallow a pint or two of unfamiliar and uncategorized fluid, eat two-days rotting beach animal and don't win, you at least have the consolation prize of being on TV. Skip all that! Nickelodeon's Double Dare was better than that! At times, it was darn funny to watch!

+ terribly butchered from Skid Row's 18 and Life
*1 not a typo

Biching again?

Well, no. I never really stop bitching, I just have long pauses and long breaths. I like the fact that my spam folder is less filled every month, but my ISP is running ads on the side. What gives? They charge me monthly and others too, what? That isn't enough income?

Capital One, I got my cards before the viking commercials and before the idiot guardian angel commercials. I open the bill and packed within are third-sheet ads, one attached to the envelop. On the header of my bill ... an ad. On the last page ... Geico Auto Insurance or Progessive, whichever. None of the big names save me money.

Last night, M. Knight Schamalamadingdong's Lady in the Water, flick, undoubtedly going to be 99% shadows, dialogue and long breaks of watching nothing, followed by an Aseop summation or worse still, so that's why you should pitch your garbage after watching a movie. Someone might collect it all and put it on film. The trailer show suspense -- closing on terror, not for timid eyes, for sure. Why should anyone care -- it's on TV when children are watching. What's wosrse?

How about advertising for Hi-C and Kool Aid at 10:45 at night? Who are you reaching? Yeah, I'm at home, watching TV and suddenly, gosh -- I really got get that at the store -- right now! I sleep, wake, forget I ever saw it. Bad, bad, stupid placement.

Mythbusters

I often miss it, but I saw one last night. Steam cannon failures and successes. That bit was very, very funny.

Interestingly, they proved in another episode that: KARI BYRON is a cutie ... oh, wait, that was never a myth, anyway, could you get shocked during an electrical storm using the phone; using a shower, and if a bullet that shoots a man shot in the testis and continues on to a woman, striking her abdominally -- could the sperm impregnate her (based on old medical journal). Interesting ... wacky, at least. Monkeyjack reported to me that at one point in time they featured one of the gurus' houses -- chuck full of mythbusters props and contraptions. I would suspect much like Carrotop's hair or head. It must be scary.

next stop, NASA

imagine what he could do with heat shielding with the right education. Saving humanity from too-warm of beer.

marriage counselor

marriage counselor
Originally uploaded by MDH, II.

I was walking with Charlie, Keith, Echo, Cheyenne when I saw this on a lawn. Marriage counseling a block away, how convenient. More convenient than your local drugstore, settling the bitching arguments right after a good, long, hard-earned fight.
Example: Boy was I pissed! I was walking down the street grumbling to myself, making scars in the sidewalk while I carried "my life" in my suitcase when I saw the sign. That's it! I dropped the case and ran back to my woman and after getting some bruises from dragging her there, I found that I was the problem and that I should, uh ... after the thirteth **ck you, I kinda forgot it, but anyway, I was then able to go back and get more of my stuff while the counselor and my woman had a great conversation about what a rotten SOB I am. Gosh, thanks! I never would have gotten some of this back from her.

example 2: There we were, shouting in the street at each other -- no one to blame, then she saw the sign -- counseling. That's what we need, so we went in and imagine my surprise when we were bitching so long that we didn't see that she wasn't home, nor that she and the couple she was seeing jumped in the car and fled as if bomb-strapped terrorists had wandered onto her porch. We didn't pay a dime.

Hey, guys, just FYI: we're gonna start nuki'

or "Nuke 'em"; get them before they get you.

I actually understand exactly why Israel is attacking, as they are surrounded by groups hostile to them for a long time. If Hezboula is expunged, there is Hamas, then anything group. Iran paying for them is hardly surprising.

Israel named after battling God. Israel also meaning chosen by God after battling the angel. I think the Lebanon be might better named Samson, forever warring, weakened by seduction, allowed strength to fight one last time, killing all, he perishing too.

sniff

Do you remember when you kicked me out of my office on Christmas Eve? Ever since then, my wife left me, took my kids, I lost my car, and I have been BLIND STINKING DRUNK!

I don't like not working. I remember two years ago, I enjoyed sitting around in summer, reading book after book, but not this year. I'd like money and responsibility and income, and mind-stimulating activities.

Butterfly Cake

Cake
Originally uploaded by MDH, II.

What can I say, Lori does great work! I got this with a "hi". Well, then, "Hi Lori". Pick a cake (your cake) I'm glad that she's holding here, as I would have clownishly plowed it into my face or on the floor -- comically not intentional. I wonder to whom this goes?

Since she does this at work and at home ... I see from background it's home. Summer fun -- cousin birthday or perhaps a whenever cake.

A&E documentary sours

I turned to an A&E documentary on a boy who had "anger control problems".  He threatened death to a teacher -- therefore, expelled from junior high school (8th grade).  So, he is at home, stewing.  During the interview the mother came across as, well ... non-too bright.  Hey!  He's got anger control problems and he proudly shows his marks of attack on walls and items.  What else does a angry youth need?  Yep, you guessed it ... guns.  He has a rifle on a mantle and his own shotgun.  That sure makes dealing with anger easy -- kill it.

 

Why did they air this?  Either it was all for show or he on the way to institutionation, aided by his mother.  Why not just have him arrested when he assaults her... nope, that would be smart and safe for society.  It makes for bad watching -- too happy of an ending.

Pee Wee Fishburn

Pee Wee, do you know what the playhouse is? It's the chair "Chairy", it's the lights.
Morpheus (Cowbois): unfortunately no one can be told what the playhouse is, you have to be shown

I know what you're thinking, why didn't I stay on the other channel.

tandem bike

Wow! I haven't seen that in ... oh, my, decades. Thankfully I saw a woman and man, not man-man tandem. You know why they're gay ...

If you haven't ridden a tandem bike, you should know that you go no faster than a regular bike and overall exertion from mistiming and not being in rhythm makes you about 89% as efficient as a solo bike. It's a nice concept ... all the wagons going in the same direction, but poor in application.

I'll buy that for a dollar

Firefox 2 with anti-phishing ... I'll have to get it. Sorry Bill Dance, you've been cashed out!

Give us money, please

I got a notice from the ASUS (Animal Santucary of the United States/WAO (Wild Animal Orphanage).

The notice was, surprise, surprise, was asking for money. Now, it started with "now caring for 350 hurrican Katrina animal orphans". That's nice, probably true. Supposedly they have over 800 animals in their care. They procalimed that the organization meets BBB (Better Business Bureau) standards and that they care for even exotic animals (listing many you might find in zoos as they are not indiginous to the US). All of that isn't a problem. I can even understand the donation request, but ...

if you have homeless domestic animals generally regarded as pets like, dogs, cats, birds, etc. ... it is unreasonable to ask also to take one into your house? They mentioned nothing of adopting the poor critters. They only wanted money. That is why I said, "nay nay"*.

* thanks Jon Pinette

! closing note: having a website doesn't make it legitimate; though, so many references to the pages does lend some credibility

I'm not sure, but I think there's cheating

My girlfriend keeps requesting our songs, Creep by TLC, and Follow Me by Uncle Kracker. I'm not sure, but she might be cheating. I suppose it makes sense that she likes to wear men's boxers -- too wide for her waist. I guess it makes sense that there's that third toothbrush that she exclaims, "don't use that one!"

looking out for friends

"I'm tellin' you, these things sell themselves. A customer comes in looking at an H2 and you don't need to try to sell it; the customer just jumps right in and buys it." -- six months ago.

"That sumbeach has sat there gettin' dusty ever since the [gas] prices went up! Now let me tell you, that thar is a damn fine auto, if you ask me." -- present day

Thanks for the ad MR, but I think that car dealing, unless it's not a gas guzzler, is rough right now. Gas prices coaster makes any car, well, a maybe. Thanks for the thought!

BTW: "these cars sell themselves" is a very obscure quote. An award to someone who figures out the quote. Hints: not from Used Cars