click ... working

Thanks Gmail, it's trimmer, thinner, finer, faster. Google personnel, you have made improvements. Congratulations!

Next award goes to

Oh boy! He's done such an outstanding job this year as a person, a whole new award gets created. It's the golden ass award, also called the Christian Bale. For accosting his mother, accosting random people on a set, his dedication to be a less-tator than dic, Bale has earned this award.

I thought Tom Cruise was a nutcase, but Bale clearly demonstrates his acting ability on film. You'd never think of what an ass he is in real life. What an actor's actor!

Well, that's my *****, of course

The world used to be relevant to my penis. Now it is relevant to henrynaruto9's penis. Yes, there was a time when everything found on the Earth and in the universe could be considered to be my penis. What's that huge building called, "my penis". What's that, uh, a manatee? "No, it's my penis." Later on people would suggest that they knew what I was thinking and that [insert noun here] was clearly my penis.

just the pictures

These are pictures from an old health book on home first aid. I think you can make great captions for them yourself. I will submit just a few. Uh, too easy

When he won't give you the money ...

Mommy isn't pregnant . . . and neither are you little girl.

Truth or Dare. Maybe you should try, "truth" next time.

I have chosen the worst possible reading position. I shall also impair my reading with this stern look closing my eyes.

Boy, the exorcism took much of Mommy's Tupperware Party time. It looks like some one's in trouble.

You're young, the machines are big and odd looking. Yes, Virginia, you will be scared.

It's OK. Everyone your age is getting an earring. You say your day is a Village person?

Whoa! You sold your kidney? Maybe next time they'll take it out from the correct side.

So you see, Jill, we can't release you until ....
Good . . . cough, whoa. OK, you're G. I. tract is working now.

Melinda found this really made getting pregnant tough.

We found this, you called it incense ash, in your bedroom Betty. Could you explain it? It doesn't smell like incense.

"Lava Boy, on the other hand ..."
"This is how Mommy keeps her weight down. Come on, in a few years it will be a piece of cake. Oh, did I say cake? Mommy will be binging and purging that tonight, for sure!"

"You know how you are on long trips Timmy. Sniff this like last time and we''ll be half-way there before you know it."

I after E except when it's thee

Spelling ... it's actually automated in most programs. You should try using it.

Old artists graded

circa 15th century
Mary, mother of God is seen being hit by a stream of light. Huh. So, there she was in the lower floor of the two-story manger in beautiful and ornate Nazareth. Oh, wait, maybe that is when the angel of the Lord blessed her with child, while the very early wise men are at her door.

F. If you aren't going to paint it right, you aren't getting paid.

Ah, lovely freakihsly white Mary, I'll let that go, is with child. For all the world to see Jesus ... what is that thing? Why is that guy there? Look, if you can't paint a dog, don't try. What a mess! You had a great thing here and you botched it!

F. You can pick up your coupon for a free order of fritas on the way out.

So, you even drew the king wondering what the heck that was. Yeah, that was about my first question when I looked at your work here. Let's see, you spent all the money in the first three months and spent the next five months in a bottle and you finally submit this very late and disastrous work.

F! Fired! You get nothing! You lose! Good day, sir!

These are sometimes accredited as being evidence of UFOs and E.T.s. Consider it from a purchaser's POV. You commission a painting of an important event or person and you get oddball crap.

Going for the rust

Three Men & a Little Shady starring:
Tom Cruise, Keanu Reeves, Kevin Costner, and Marshall Mathers as the Shady
You better splurge for that large bucket of popcorn. You'll need a large bucket because you won't get to the trashcan in time before you puke.

"Acting? What acting? Ed, Edd, and Eddy's Plank is stellar next to these guys!"
"Courtney Love pushed me over the top. I could only stab myself a few times before I passed out."
"Thank God I was able to leave the theater and walk the 200 miles back home. That was a great walk. That movie was terrible."
"Critics agree, save the planet, save the world, save yourselves by not watching this movie!"
"Terrorists have agreed to a cease-fire if Hollywood agrees not to release this movie."
"Satan is buying exclusive rights to the movie as this is being written."

managing teachers

perfect example of reading your own work

Thank you Jeff, pictures of Joshua

Go on Facebook, see them yourself!

FW Police codes

If you were ever wondering

66/72 72 Hour Commitment
21 Adult
93 Aircraft Accident
40 Alarm
13 Ambulance
111 Animal Investigation
111 C Animal Investigation – Cat
111 P Animal Investigation - Deer Permit
111 D Animal Investigation – Dog
111 I Animal Investigation – Injured
53 Armed Robbery
53 IP Armed Robbery In Progress
15 Assist
15, 85 Assist At Once
40 ATM ATM Alarm
63 Attempt To Contact/Check Well Being
65 A Attempted Suicide
40 A Audible Alarm
40 B Bank Alarm
96 Battery
96 IP Battery In Progress
96 JO Battery Just Occurred
89 Bomb Threat
31 Breathalyzer
50 Burglary
50 JO Burglary - Just Occurred
50 A Burglary Attempted
50 IP Burglary In Progress
11 C Cage Car - Transport Prisoner
129 Cops - Community Service Assignment
59 Cutting / Stabbing
32 Death Investigation
32 A Death Notification
40 TX Dialer Alarm
33 Disabled Vehicle
33, 34 Disabled Vehicle - Traffic Hazard
43 Disturbance
43, 62 Disturbance - Party Armed
46 Domestic Disturbance
46, 62 Domestic Disturbance - Party Armed
46, 96 Domestic Disturbance W/Battery
40 D Domestic Violence Alarm
92 Drowning
19 Escort
71 Explosion
72 Fail To Pay
26 F Fatal Traffic Accident
55 Fight
55, 62 Fight - Party Armed
70 Fire
40 F Fire Alarm
44 FW Fireworks
108 Followup Investigation
97 Found Items
911 HU Hang Up
40 H Holdup Alarm
60 Homicide
109 Illegal Dumping
67 Indecent Exposure
83 Information Report
42 Intoxicated Person
40 I Intrusion Alarm
114 Investigation – Hunters
127 Jail Escape
22 Juvenile
22 I Juvenile Investigation
22 N Juvenile Neglect/Abuse Investigation
22 RC Juvenile Recovery Report
22 RN Juvenile Runaway Report
104 Kidnapping
104 IP Kidnapping In Progress
77 Labor Dispute
40 L Listening Device Alarm
38 Lost / Stolen Plate
97 A Lost Items
24 Lost/Missing Person
44 LM Loud Music
44 LP Loud Party
41 Man/Person Down
41, 36 Man/Person Down In Vehicle
40 M Medical Alarm
1 Meet
66 Mentally Ill
56 Molesting
56 JO Molesting - Just Occurred
99 Narcotics Investigation
45 Neighborhood Disturbance
44 Nuisance (Smoke, Noise, Etc)
154 Officer In Trouble
101 Open Door
28 Operating While Intoxicated
40 P Panic Alarm
35 Parked Vehicle
36 Parked Vehicle Occupied
37 Parking Violation
62 Party Armed
33 J Party Locked Out
64 Party Not Seen
26, 86 Personal Injury Accident - Municipal Property
26 HS Personal Injury Hitskip Accident W/Injuries
26 PI Personal Injury Traffic Accident
26 PP Personal Injury Traffic Accident - Party Pinned
16 Pick Up Item
11 Pick Up Prisoner
16 V Pick Up Videotape
16, 97 Pick-Up Found Item
16, 24 Pick-Up Missing
16, 22 R Pick-Up Runaway
66 V Possible Mental – Violent
20 Problem Unknown
25 Property Damage Traffic Accident
68 Protect Evidence
49 Prowler
75 Pursui
61 Rape
61 IP Rape In Progress
61 JO Rape Just Occurred
17 Read Motor Number
27 Reckless Driving
47 Removal Of Articles
112 Riot
76 Road Block
14 S Serving Warrant
58 Shooting
52 Shoplifter
113 Shots Fired
29 Special Assignment
39 JO Stolen Vehicle - Just Occurred
39 R Stolen Vehicle Recovery
57 Strong Arm Robbery
57 IP Strong Arm Robbery In Progress
65 Suicide
65 T Suicide Threats
48 Suspicious Person
48, 36 Suspicious Person Parked Vehicle
48, 35 Suspicious Vehicle
3 TX Telephone Call
102 TX Telephone Threats
51 Theft
51 A Theft Attempted
51, 35 Theft From Vehicle
51, 35 IP Theft From Vehicle In Progress
51 IP Theft In Progress
51 JO Theft Just Occurred
102 Threats
25 HS Traffic Accident - Hit Skip
25, 86 Traffic Accident - Municipal Property
34 Traffic Hazard
30 Traffic Stop
39 U Unauthorized Control Vehicle
74 Unruly Crowd
103 Unwanted
15, 84 Urgent Assist
23 Vandalism
23, 113 Vandalism By Gunshots
23 IP Vandalism In Progress
23 JO Vandalism Just Occurred
23, 35 Vandalism Vehicle
39 Vehicle Theft
39 IP Vehicle Theft In Progress
98 Vice Investigation
73 Walk Away
14 Warrant
69 Wires Down
18 Work Traffic

Best guessing

I was reading local news on a murder and assault. I went to the local PD and it featured a cold case. I don't know squat about it, but I wanted to see what the case was. If I were a betting man, I would bet on the person using the railroad at the time.

Please read this and look at the map. I don't have any facts, but am guessing here. I have driven in Hursh and near Leo-Cedarville. I am surprised that the killer left the body where it was. A more reasonable place to hide the body would be anywhere in the wooded section near Cedarville. If you Google map Fort Wayne you will notice a rail line that could enable someone to be near most of the places where notes are found.

"Blow up you[sic] (house)" sounds like the impulsive ranting of a fifteen year-old. As the report indicates, the notes should not be taken as precisely the language or phrasology of the suspect, but if it a recurring phrase it might have some meaning.

My second guess is digusting but I think has merit. With the continuing notes regarding the abduction, rape, murder of the poor little girl, I guess that the perp violated the body also. Now, how you find someone who may be homeless is tough, especially now and with it being a cold case.

Japan, you lost me

I don't think I will be visiting a county that is okee-dokee with murder, rape of corpse, cannibalism and idol-worship.

Issei Sagawa, now free and a pop idol who barely served time for murder and cannibalizing a Dutch student while he was in France. Should Japan = freaks? There's my WTF for the day!

soup

Ted Haggard's Miso Horny Soup; traditional white or new extra chunky

Well earned, WTF

As you can see I was looking for ghost haunting (green highlight) when I found this.
"How to" and "style" coupled with rape?
How about we terminate this youtube poster right now

Feb 2nd

I am quite sick of Winter, thank you. I desire no more weeks of winter.

Trainer mode

It's like training wheels for games.

They called down to me, "pull over"

Have I read the manual for this thing? OK, OK. I pulled over. Geez! Can't a guy just get there at a little better pace?

I gots me sum money

IRS was laughing at my return.

Whoa, honey!

I think we need to reduce, reuse, recycle at this point. There's just too much junk in your trunk.

when, one time Scott got him drunk

He was capable of making no sense at all. This was circa 1989-1990. While he may very well have been correct, we will never know what he was thinking when he scrawled his message on the yellow pages. Thanks, Scott, for telling me this story.

+ this isn't the original page, of course

no reward

clever little game

most common words

This idea works, I tell you

Get up you lazy bones! I just need to put forth more effort into it. It will move forward, progress and you will see.

I'm seeing more and more of this man.

Hippy Taxes

H & R Block at Woodstock. There was much paperwork, mostly Peter found that these people didn't want to work for the man. Lacking paystubs, Peter set to work in 1969. Peter had larger problems. Not only was he the cleanest and best showered, he also was easier to pick out of a crowd than those he was helping.

On August 17th, he was able to find Edwin "Tabernacle" Frenze, having helped Frenze with his tax issues. Later on the same day, he found Guru Priest "Voodoo Daddy Ganges" Jesse Borrsman and friends Al "Cooper" Temple and Jack "I don't drink, man" Daniels. While serving few, Peter went down in history as one of H & R Blocks inovative and energetic CPAs.

God rest Peter Wilkins.

Where my money?

I filed my taxes, they were accepted. Now, where my money?

You can have this or you can have that

I got an email today from Voice Applied Customer Service. I didn't put myself on a "please pester" list, so I wondered what it was. So, I first googled the company matched with the word, "scam". I didn't found out much other than others asking the same question. I went to "Contact" link and found an interesting bit that might skip the casual observer.

While they have a toll free number, note the company advertising for phone, voice, customer service has toll free service for only five and a half hours. Does that sound legitimate? I'm thinking that a company billing itself as customer service, voice, phone with headset pictures and a Tom Cruise wannabe on the phone, ought to have at least eight hours of time allowed for phone calls.

If it appears to be too good, it might be. Chances are, they want your address to pester you more.

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What does that have to do with a job interview? That was in an "I found your resume'" unsolicited email.

Duh, let's try a relly bad tag line instead

You hate working Mondays, right? Well, let's focus on that and work with me here. Let's turn that apathy into energy by selling, marketing, selling! Go, rah, hey, yes! Turn "no" into "yes" and "F**k you, you pestering annoying as **it ***hole **cker" into "Why, yes, I'd like more, please."

With multi-layered (not to be confused with multi-level) marketing, be like Shrek and onion or parfait. You work hard, get paid for it+ Cold call anyone in an area code. Are you comfortable with scaring elderly people with the fear of death and God into buying completely inapplicable things and decades-old deals? We have the (snow)job for you!

Send us your resume', cellphone number, SSN, DOB, and bank account and let's start making your money today.++

+ ensuring that the other thirty-five layers above you all get their cut
++ sardonic laugh sold separately

others have talents

While this robber "changed into a goat", I can merely change into the shape of water ... oh, wait. No. That's one of the Wonder Twins. I can turn into a pencil...
No. That's stupid too. I think when I shape change, I'll turn into a car! Wait, too eighties. That would make me a bad TV series. I got it! I'll turn into a stereo! Oh, no that won't work at all. I can turn into a cellphone, a TV, a . . .
ah, crud! You caught me! I can't turn into anything.

1 school thinks

It is better to be dead than well read. A family member will not have a contract renewed for teaching. Apparently that family member failed too many students who would otherwise endanger people if allowed to pass. Remember, in some schools, it's OK to be so-so or flunky when finishing your degree in medicine.

Go here

Cheaper, faster

Cheney says, "Go snow!"

The aliases of Dick Cheney

Inaugural Where's Waldo

Try pointing your camera right there!

I'll jump hop this fence, the officers don't mind at all.

Two halves don't make a whole.

Look here!
See other things neat to find.

The picture of 2 half people aren't the only slight errors here.