Old artists graded

circa 15th century
Mary, mother of God is seen being hit by a stream of light. Huh. So, there she was in the lower floor of the two-story manger in beautiful and ornate Nazareth. Oh, wait, maybe that is when the angel of the Lord blessed her with child, while the very early wise men are at her door.

F. If you aren't going to paint it right, you aren't getting paid.

Ah, lovely freakihsly white Mary, I'll let that go, is with child. For all the world to see Jesus ... what is that thing? Why is that guy there? Look, if you can't paint a dog, don't try. What a mess! You had a great thing here and you botched it!

F. You can pick up your coupon for a free order of fritas on the way out.

So, you even drew the king wondering what the heck that was. Yeah, that was about my first question when I looked at your work here. Let's see, you spent all the money in the first three months and spent the next five months in a bottle and you finally submit this very late and disastrous work.

F! Fired! You get nothing! You lose! Good day, sir!

These are sometimes accredited as being evidence of UFOs and E.T.s. Consider it from a purchaser's POV. You commission a painting of an important event or person and you get oddball crap.