I only carry hundreds!

Some people come up to pay and, of course, they have big bills. I guess this makes them big as well? I don't think so. Go ahead, rob me! The last time I tried to spend a wad of my own money, the credit union called me to make sure it was me using the card. Carrying big bills doesn't make you a man. Why get big bills, becasue you don't have a checking account or credit card? Get one, plastic, roughly card shaped, never touching bacteria and virus laiden money, with dabs of drugs and chemicals here and there. You can even put tips on the receipt.

I know this because if you go to the ATM, it doesn't spit out hundred dollar bills -- only banks, credit unions, drug dealers, check-cashing places (including bars), and day laborors dispense large denominations. It doesn't impress me, buddy boy! Treating your woman to a $18 meal ($9 of which is hers) shouldn't impress her either.