I am such a pig

interview with potential

I will read more thoroughly the company, but I have an interview with them. I cannot find a salary as of yet. I'll continue to look. The good news is ... is in hometown!

Silence Fiction

It is not real
feelings false

Pink Floyd's lyrics echoing ... "is there anybody in there"
not high on drugs, yet a dangerous act

Shakespeare doesn't write it ... on my own accord disaster 2008
a whim ... a chance, reality it's not

I'm not lost, nor depressed, just want fantasy for a while, a taste
a woman wants me



me


me
I have a hard time saying no
dirty words, dirty acts ... I know her smell
she is ...
not mine

she cannot be

I cannot speak of any of it

I cannot tread on thee

cheapened ... cheated ... pleasurable regret


"slimy, mudhole, my home this"+


it is passion, without love

wedding vows with exceptions .... prenuptial agreement on the first incidental date

damn the torpedoes ... my soul already is

I cannot look, "the accusations fly"++

I make plans ... dare I do it?
"Things that make you go, hmmm"

I'm not lying that it's there, but must be hidden
on my end ... not sparks ... not pangs ... just "yes" liking the attention ... "she wants me"

me

I'm still stunned

+ "Empire Strikes Back
++ "Don't Stand So Close To Me" by the Police

Silent Non-fiction

I'm blind to many things, but not to weakness ... pain. Star Trek had a character known as an empath who took the misery and suffering (physical damage also) of others so that they could live. In a quick view on Google, there is such a term. Sadly, I don't subscribe to the concepts of psychics, so I am not ... an empath.

I am, however, suffering under hero complex, trying to help many -- even those unwilling to help themselves. No matter how cavalier that might be -- it would be to my own death I would go, were I to brave others' demons, knightly as Sir Drinksalot or Sir Notdealinginreality.

In my mind, I house the multitude of sufferings of others that they have confided in me. I take in their stories ... sufferings, and am the repository. Loss, pain, suffering, regret ... all mine now. I am a good listener and am not too far off base when "sensing" someone carrying pain yet undisclosed.

I have my own history of vile, but it is the suffering of others that I carry like Marley's chains. I see good in people, but too often pain is more visible. I am, regrettably a negative person, for I carry more of it than positive. Rather than a sponge soaking up angst, I'd rather be a talented carpenter who repairs and restores.

I am enduring; a veteran boxer who takes a beating and gets up before the final count. I am happiest when I am able to bypass the traffic of downtown ... finding a route that, with observation, is pretty even if desolate -- missing people, plants ... still there is the son (sun).

I know that I do good for some. My only wish now is to have a job where I can assuredly pay my bills.

Others suffer ... I just get to hear ... watch, and as it is the past ... do nothing
they should seek help
they leave their luggage with me (baggage)
hopefully they get relief
if they are smart, they'll leave their baggage, remembering what it was, but not wanting it back
.....
I once wanted to be the weapon --- slaughterer, the beast, conqueror, Gozar, but that is the work of evil, of Satan
smiting with the failings of a human, passions of a mortal, blinded by selfishness clearly is not my purpose, my being

so ... my vision isn't clear on evil ... I can't find evil lurking in the shadows always

I can find pain

to console others

get them to work through their pain

grow

I exist for this

The work is long, hard, and grueling. Mike Rowe has dirty jobs, I have to worry about stains on my soul. God willing may I be but a catalyst to healing never losing myself

Bury his ...

Touch it! It has the power to heal!

Yet another person in the series of people to touch my butt. Is there a sign back there? Please touch my butt. Feel free to sexually harass me without worry of recourse.

I gotta get out of that place ...
if it's the last thing I ever do ...

Welcoming the oppressor

I need to shift this draw quick as fuck
Flip the cash and take my cut
It's really powerful, it's so strong
But I'm selling it fast and it's nearly all gone

I'll sell you the 9-bar or just the ounce
I'll sell you little bits or large amounts
Adam Hussain, remember me?
Selling draw from my Capri

Want some draw? With me you'll score
Cos I grows this shit out o' my nan's back door
Bongs big as, blow buckets,
I sell like ounces to schoolkids but I don't care, fuck it

Get it on tick, but make it quick
I just got a load of wicked Thai stick
Party's going down, I'll bring the brown
Tonight it's going off in Newport town

[Chorus]
I got 21 ounces of blow
I got 21 ounces of blow
So if you want some let me know, cos I really gotta go
I got 21 ounces of blow, blow, blow

People watch me like Match of the Day
I've got a stack of weed like a bale of Hay
I drive my Capri like Colin Macrae
And I gotta drop some weed off in Alway

So, we need to find a way to keep these people uneducated and poor, politically inactive, and willing to kill each other. Rap and gangs have replaced the antiquated KKK as the moving body to keep the untouchables, untouchable. Way to go dummies! Oh, and the downed people should replace their god with the oppressor.

I broke a statement in two

"I don't", "I won't" buy a CD. Well, that is debunked. I bought a CD of music from my childhood. It had been only on LP. Who wants or has that? Childhood Christmas.

Thanks Walter Schumann and Chorus.

primate extinct?

Monkeyjack, long time blogger appears not in my listing. Monkeyjack was a unique species.

she's devine

devil garb, sailor vernacular, yet subtly sweet and gentle

She's quick, smart, daring, motivated

She's one you don't show mother, but the one to marry

A wrapped present with a noticeable haste -- wrapping looks rough, but the box itself, the package -- all what is inside, heartfelt and just what you need. I hope she finds life fulfilling and is wise enough to avoid disaster. I get a kick out of her. Her life, not enchanting, but she is ... enchanting.

Rose, nightshade, poisonous variety, but thorns aside, symbolic of ideal love. I'd like to see her life when I'm long since passed and she's lived a long and fruitful one. She's young, and has youthful passions and dreams.

C, you're great ... prosper!

Making pay stand still

Well, at work there were several times when "productive time" stopped. Oh, let's set a meeting here and talk while everyone is getting killed with the business. Yeah... that's good. You get paid for that do you?

Checking on the minutia I found missing materials. I am not required to start on my extra project until Monday, but I wanted to get a start on it. It was a good thing I started ... I was missing a valuable piece of paper. I made a call and got ... yeah, I'll bring that in.

In logistical-practical speak, that's a 40% yes on the maybe continuum. Had I hear more, "er"s, "uh"s, "yea"s, "uh huh"s, I'd know it had dropped to low double digits. Thankfully I don't have to have the paper, but the corporate will send me an email, "where is it".

They get a lot out of me, others ... hard to say.

The noob, or newbie, they have -- bad pick, average IQ, overego, underachiever. He doesn't even know how to schmooze. Now, normally, the average IQ egotist gets into management and stays, but this dude won't turn sycophant quickly enough. I'm not trained as fast because I don't, "kiss butt".

rubbing, for which I need alcohol

I was brushed with no fewer than eight individual breasts today. Some breasts "re-visited". A couple brushes were accidental, but most were not. Hmmmm .... clean environment, right? Heck no! My package was nearly groped with intent, but my position protected my package from fondling. My butt, however, was stroked, smacked, and patted. You'd think the ladies never got laid or something. Now, if the situation were reversed ... hell surely would have new attendees.

My butt was the target of attack and admiration from a naughty girl at work, who is loud ... dramatic, touchy, slutty, but in form (playing the role on stage only).

The least comfortable contact I got tonight was oddly from a guy ... scary! I felt a hand on my shoulder and a voice in my ear.

Dude ... cut that out right f'ing now! It wasn't an advance, but crossing social bounds that he didn't know existed. Thankfully I didn't hear, " zip" and the second hand on the other shoulder. "Guy! The cell-block is that a-way", pointing to hell.

Westboro?

Insanity out of Kansas, how rare!

I'll bet you nearly any amount of money if Playboy or Penthouse offered money to one of the nearly-legal girls to pose when they become legal ... the Westboro clan would fold.

Hey, Playboy ... I think you can do more for the cause than litigation can. Go for it!

For even more money ... you could probably get a girl to pose with a girl ...
ends the fag statements

pose with military uniform
pose with man in military uniform (just cleaning his gun, right)

I think you get the picture.

Mr. Ripley

Believe it or not ... he does a good job! Thanks again Mike Ripley for your efforts!

does a bear ...

well, in my work town, there's a house with a bear -- quite nearly a Care Bear in the front lawn. Sadly, due to wind or vandalism, the bear appears to be whizzing on the front pine tree decorated for Christmas. In this instance, yes ... the bear does.

little wish comes true

Well, we all have big wishes. I have a couple of monster selfish wishes, where the "fruits" of the wish I would certainly share with the world, I would ask it for myself. I also make little wishes and I find that sometimes these come true. In my life, there have been people willing to risk taking the stranded driver to another location. This is, at best, a gamble. I was a couple of times saved well by kind-hearted people who offered help when I needed it. I wished that I could return the favor to someone. I got that chance.

One night, I finished work before midnight -- a feat in itself. I was joyous -- I had out-of-town family to see. I was driving home on the slick winter roads -- windy, and cold, and unkind. Nearly home 45 out of 60 minutes of my trip, I saw a car stranded in the middle of the highway. I had slid across four lanes myself and know the fear and the wonder of, "what now".

I pulled off the the shoulder to see if the driver was still there. I called out to see if he was okay. I offered the warmth of my car first, then to figure out how he was getting the car out of there. He called his girlfriend to come pick him up. I offered to take him home if that didn't pan out -- time 12:42 am. She couldn't.

So, where does he live ... in the town I left -- my work town. How in the world is God so full of irony? Well, I asked that I could help a person in need, much like I was helped, so we drove back to my work town. On the way, I got to know the guy a bit.

His parallel journey was living in my work town and driving (near-daily) to my hometown to work. I made the opposite trip, of course. The kicker was that he had a different job category, but worked for the same company. Talk about a jip! I don't earn lots, but this guy did the same thing, for less money. His car, old rusty like my former car, was a "free car" with necessary repairs totaling a thousand dollars.

Well ... I got home about the same time I would have on other nights, but I felt good, warm not from the car's heat, but from a good deed. I know, though, I should always be careful for what I wish ... it might come true and be "costlier" than I imagine.

papercrud

So... I was half right. I was in a hurry on paperwork -- my own errors. I was also right that some of the errors are of others, so I am "at fault" for not fixing their errors. So, I'm being reprimanded for others' errors. That's ***king wonderful! I don't suppose you'll be talking to the ones making the mistakes.

Typical. Kill the wrong target.

tongue out in a phft!

I watched I Harry Potter & Order of Phoenix. I think I'll try to limit my postings on movies that are worth watching. While it was a shortened version of the stupidest book of the series, it omitted much of what would later be important in the series. You also don't understand that Ron and Hermione are a couple.

for passover

Did I do good?

I shall qualify this into two categories:

substitute good with "well", in which I get no positive feedback at work. I'm alerted when I err, but not when I'm doing right, good, or well. So, I'm in Office Space where my only motivation is to avoid being told I'm doing it wrong. They blow chunks as sucking up dignity and giving it to someone else. If someone deserves a personal thanks or looking-in-the-eyes, "you're great", do it. The 'atta-boy's are lame.

I wanted to get the funk out of Dodge last night, but spent about 2 hours talking with a woman there who has some hardships in her life. Her primary focus is on the hardships of being a parent. It almost makes me happy to not be one, but there are great pluses to being a parent -- I've not had those, nor the minuses. Anyway, I think she needed an "ear" or two, if for nothing else -- venting. I guess I do good, by just being, alive being there for a time. I got home around 4am tired as anything.

There are not enough hours free to me.