Missed me!

"There's a storm a comin'", they called. "Billions of tons of snow heading your way. You'll be up to your armpits in Marsians." All of this huffing and puffing and I see exactly diddly here. It was a bad call.

local market

The local market is going through, what environmentalists call desertification. Here, while I'm on the road, you can see in the distance where I might want to be. There is the arid wastes and scrubland between me and the distant hills. The concern is, what is over the hill and did I waste my time. In any respects, the area job market has gone dry.

They found the right man

3-knife operator & binder
Indianapolis is in luck

I fit the profile

I was not in Spokane, Washington at this time. I am willing to take a polygraph test to prove that the fart was not mine. I have, in the past, let go of the foulest, nastiest, rip-roaringest, farts of mass destruction. This fumes incident was not me, I swear with my nostrils clenched and my hand raised (closing my nasal passages).

Sincerely yours,

Stinky Le Pew

Fair trial

Defense counsel for John Evander Couey remarked that he could not get a fair trial. This came after 14 of the jury members said they were fairly certain he was guilty. A known sex offender pleading not guilty, what are the chances of that? The defense requested another part of Florida because Florida did a great job in the election and in some criminal cases.

Couey has "deep passions" that rule his actions, but plainly denies ever raping the (lengthy, poetic, lustful description) victim. He also noted that had he been the perpetrator, he would have had more consentual sex with the child before burying her alive. He then thought about his statement and recanted, blaming "hunger" for his poor judgment and sought a snickers bar to fight the hunger. His counsel capitalized on this, noting that since Couey clearly showed gay tendencies wanting a snickers bar, that there wasn't sufficient evidence to continue the case.

The judge disagreed and ordered the counsel to "shut [censor blocking] up!"
........
Jokes aside, again make 2006 and thereafter the years of finding, capturing, convicting and executing sex offenders.

You may visit hte Jessica Marie Lunsford Foundation here.

New York, New York

CaQuincy and family live in New York. When I write about snow, they know it and live it. I think that dealerships should factory install plow mounts on all vehicles so you can move in winter.

toupee

The folks were commenting on the baldness ... of my tires. I wonder if they make toupees for tires?

Weatherman calls for smiting on Tuesday

Chance of precipitation ... 90% with 4-6 inches of accumulation. Whereas that isn't nothing in contrast to New York, it will mean more work for me. New Yorkers are likely used to the piling or the Snow Angel taking a dump on them on a fairly regular basis. This spot here in Indiana is a bit from from the lake and doesn't get nearly as much dumping. Still, I predict piles high and accidents abundant.

Hell Froze Over

Dixie Chicks, "back"? Later, charges were brought against them for using bad music as a weapon and for unlawfully re-entering the US. As negotiators are standing by, Celine Dion will return to Canada as part of the exchange between these two countries with different, yet equal WMDs.

People who like music are suing the music awards for allowing deaf and blind people to make the decisions on music. The awards committee responded by saying to a chair, that "no person blind deaf here is". Other members were upset that such harsh criticism was made of a group that clearly shares the ten-percent-of-brain-use over a body of sixty people. The group claimed that despite political statements made, they are, in no way less talented than before or than those others awarded.

Notable awards were also given to Geico commercials, Snickers commercial, and the Superbowl half-time election committee. As of this writing, I understand that with little atttendance and no viewership, the awards will be posted on we_are_talent-MuzakAwards dot com next year with pre-recorded videos to be played for acceptance.

After looking for a while

Lost + Gilligan's Island = funny video

Light reading and other jobs

Wow! I'm glad I got that off my chest.

So, in one company it is all underground and the other I make sure people are doing their drugs. I think I'm reading them wrong.



Yeah, I'm reading them wrong, but they're funnier my way.

click where?

So, let me get this straight ... I click her butt?

Open Season

I tried to like this movie. I tried to be entertained. Alas, I was neither entertained or interested. I found one background error that is really the whole movie.

There is a couple with a dog who are on the road. They are in a silver RV. The plate-constructed RV and the dog passenger play roles later, is on the road fine. When the camera pulls away to show the spanse of the road and the wilderness area, you can find the error.

The RV narrows to a tic tac driving within the lines of a page margin. While the proportions were correct before, suddenly ... poof, they are wack. The lack of details and general flatness of it wasn't good. When the bear is climbing up the cliff, they could have made it like Kipper animation (also books)... wide white spaces focusing on what is important. This is true of Curious George books as well. It was put together, clearly as a cellular piece. The movie lacked details, including its writing.

The story itself was fine, pretty typical, but I guess I found the characters bland and not worth remembering. The few verbal and visual references were forgetable too.

Overall, I would rate this as totally forgetable. There was no outstanding scene. The previews showed most of the funnier parts of the movie and the action scenes. I think I could have done without seeing the diminutive, one-antler deer spontaneously pooping after the bear asks to find a toilet.

God's sense of humor

I finished reading "Fight Club" and I make my last call to where I will start. My clothes:
black, black, white

I am Jack's nervous twitching eyelid.

Fighting book

"Fight Club" by Chuck Palahniuk. I watched the movie first, which jaded me to the movie. I would suggest this book, even if you watched the movie. There are some differences. There is a charcter oddity, the narrator has a hole in his cheek that doesn't heal, has had emergency surgery, but is squeamish about putting medicine up his butt to keep him awake and Tyler asleep.

It is an odd novel and I would liken it to part Stephen King and part Dogma.

Set to fall

I predict that Obama will fall out of the senate having not put enough time in for sessions. He'll be busy trying to ensure votes for President, then he'll not be re-elected because he didn't do enough in office. Then the word will be that it was bias, but it will fall back on the fact that he was led to believe that a senator with limited experience could make it to President. It wouldn't be a racial thing, but not enough time spent in senate (twice over).

Obama ... bow out now, pursue it later. It's the right thing to do. Show who you are and if people really want to vote for you. Hillary ... send all of your money and the moneyt that Bill got to the party and run someone else. If I were a republican (I'm not a party member), I'd say run and fall flat on your face, as you'll likely do.

McCain ... run! I still haven't seen much from the Republican camp. Guiliani ... not sure on you. Since I wanted McCain instead of Bush, I think, so far, I'll stick with McCain. Liberman will get many moderates, but not the ends. I think he'll pull from both parties, so run ... why, not?

Better still ... do popular vote with 1st and 2nd winners being President and Vice President, regardless of parties.
Kill the electoral college. It is crap.

If you can't figure out the voting machine, you probably shouldn't vote.
I once saw a webpage on "Should you vote". There were many, many, many people in it. It suggest that at <75% accuracy, you don't vote. Interestingly, many were in a particular party. Huh. There were a few I failed because I don't know entertainers. I might live next to one and never know it.

end your surplus money

lend money to someone to end poverty, just some person? I don't think so.

Thank goodness it wasn't ...

choke the poultry ...
beat the bishop

MTV's Remote Control

Man! I'm old.

one more stab at Batman

Well, Batman: Another Run at It is due in 2008 with Heath Ledger as the Joker. Joaquin Phoenix is wise to stand back from him. "Where does he get those wonderful boys?" + "Two thumbs up; way up Buttman."

The Joker left a clue:
Roses are Red
So is my butt
I'll **** on your ****
Cuz I'm such a ****

What the? What's he under that mask, mascara?++

+ Bob & Tom parody of Batman, "Buttman"
++ "Thank You Mask Man" by Lenny Bruce [youtube video]

How I imagine the end of Harry Potter 7

In Return of the Jedi, Vader sees what a sadistic foul creature the emperor is and grabs him with his remaining mechanical hand and throws his lightning shooting butt down the vent shaft giving the space stationa a brief power surge and nothing more.

There would be Voldemort killing Harry and before Harry's quite dead, they group or a single person kills Voldemort. Voldemort still gritting his mismatched teeth (not Ralph Fiennes, but his character's) while a spell is erupting around him.

"You alreayd have ... you already have", lingering on the mouths of those around