You won't be angry

I -- will -- not -- be -- angry:

1. Was it Hans Grueber's brain? Ah, no. It was Abby. Abby who? Abby Nor-mal, I believe. [violent shaking]

2. You tramp! The first chance you have to be with him and you did it!

win ter

Ah ... winter, unusual here, but 40+ mph wind with hard ice/sleet. Lovely, and I'm not driving in it

Car money pit

rrr click
r click
click

no battery

Didn't I just have this fixed?

After a jump and a short drive to where I had it fixed, and a ride back -- I got a call that the belt was bad and not charging the battery right. More money down the drain. Hopefully, it will be less than a new battery and the tales of the guano auto de eledteacher

I was told that it might be ready tomorrow morning

I like to watch

unlike Being There, I'm referring to channels that voice-over profanity. It would be better to intenitonally ruin the movie, like Mystery Science Theater rather than doing, "You scum bum!" in Smokey and the Bandit.
You _____ for brains! = You goofoff!

Better still, I like to do my own voice-overs.

MR did a nice one Are you threating me?

Cincinnati

"As God as my witness, I swear I thought turkeys could fly!"

"People are here, running into buildings, fleeing for their lives." [crashes nearby of cars being attacked by falling fowl]

WKRP

"Just listen to the lyrics, would ya?"

Imagine there's no heaven, imagine there's no hell...

"Sounds like communism to me! Stop playing it."

Nothing says I like you more than copping a feel

apparently there is an amorous kindergartener who lets his interests knows he likes them with a squeeze of the butt, which includes adults. That's fun -- not!

In another circumstance, different school, 3rd grade; a girl student felt up the girl behind her -- very private area. There was a line of lies about it at the start ... who knows why. I sent the two to the office about it. The felt girl was a bit traumatized and scared and crying.

Donkey Kong

A generation extrapolated the message to something that the authors didn't intend.

Winter Song

Tommy Don't Lick That Pipe

(c) 1995 John McCutcheon/Appalsongs (ASCAP) & Si Kahn/Joe Hill Music (ASCAP)

Winter is a-coming
And the weather's getting cold
I have to watch my brother Tom
He's eight years old
I never have to worry
That he'll slip on ice and fall
In fact there's only just one thing
That worries me at all

chorus
Tommy, don't lick that pipe
Your tongue will stick like glue
I've warned you twice
And I wish you'd mind
Don't you remember
What happened last time
You can do about anything else that you like
But Tommy, don't lick that pipe

Do you still remember Uncle Albert
Such scientific curiosity
He stuck his tongue out on the old pump handle
It took us two whole days to get him free

Do you still remember Grandma Dawson
She touched her tongue on to a waterspout
She said she thought that it was made of plastic
It took us until May to thaw her out

Do you still remember our dog Fluffy
He went outside to do his doggy thing
We found him frozen solid to a hydrant
We couldn't break him loose until the spring

Free Range

What an absurd concept!

Here, we allow the chickens to run around like chickens with their heads on, then just like the confined chickens we approach them, chop off their heads and prep them. So ... they're happier or healthier? Certainly the spread of contagions is less, but their diet is less controlled. So -- who cares? It isn't as if they could claim that the chickens are happier, perhaps for a few months, prior to suffering the same fate as caged brethren, save their feeling of loss of freedom.

I suppose I should favor more expensive hand fished or ocean fished fare, instead of cheaper farm raised? I think if I could get cheaper, more controlled, less heavy-metalled (mercury) lobster and salmon, I'd take the safer, cheaper lobster and salmon.

Free range cattle and pigs with larger pastures to eat, eating less of their own fecal matter might make sense, but not at a high increase of cost, especially if they have fewer injections.

Soup

The folks told me about an organic soup from Healthy Valley. Organic Cream of Chicken soup.
The "Free range chicken" were, I understand, minscule tasteless bits of matter -- cardboard would have had flavor. The soup itself was inedible, not tasting like cream of chicken. My father likened it to Oyster Stew, which he doesn't like. My mum likes oyster stew, but found this just generally gross.

I don't eat chicken, so I don't plan on eating it. The funniest thing here is that the compnay doesn't show it on it's website. Perhaps it was so terrible, the store had the last batch of it. I thought of sending a picture of an Orec (TM) to them, letting them know what it was like.

Are you threatening me?

"Are you threatening me [directed at Mace Windu]?' At this time, MR pipes in, "I am Cornholio! I need t.p. for my bunghole!" Ah, the emperor is Cornholio. He wears something covering his head.

Thanks MR ... that was in my mind today.

future shock

I was tempted to try pot, but the time that it was more interesting to me, I couldn't "score" any. All the better. After talking with some people and reading a bit, I wonder if I don't already have those warped, stupid concepts all without the drug.

Hey ... what if, through progressive acceleration and accumulation, Earth became denser and have greater mass due to cosmic dust -- especially from the greater area, but overall smaller mass and gravitational pull of the sun as it exhausts its central helium core and loses mass. Since the Earth then would be greater and have greater mass, wouldn't the moon be less costly to travel? Furthermore, couldn't the expanding layer of nitrogen-carbon pollution be "pooled" over ozone thinning layers, slowly replaced by "free" ozone from growing thermonuclear power plants, needed to serve the energy needs of limited oil countries?

If there is a small gap of material between two fingers tightly pressed together: theory of matter, in which particles may be tightly packed but collisions are rare, and space being filled with less matter and greater free energy, wouldn't introducing more matter into space cause a greater potential for rare collisions which, could domino into large-scale nuclear chain reactions -- yielding vaporization of matter into greater levels of energy, in turn accelerating into greater levels of energy in space creating more and more collisions until finally all of space is turned from matter into other energies? Decelerating or finding equilibrium in slower states of energy, finally into a big ball of slowly and finally near-atomic stop matter a solid pile of goo. You know ... like diarhea that falls to the ground and dries. "Are you saying we're the bacteria of a universal turd?" "Yeah"

Conceptual stupidity -- profound and unmentionable. Why would I need drugs? I've not had them and worry that I would either be the same with drugs or ... scarier: wierder.

I wasn't listening

I think God, life and luck were trying to communicate to me:

Everyone doing it, doesn't make it right.

Anytime that I did something, rather uncharacteristic, being outlandishly rude, using culturally or racial offensive language or trying to fit in with the crowd -- it ran around and bit me in the back (side)

"You shot the native" -- replace native with racial slur. For this, I got a very well deserved stern look from a guy, who seemed twice my height and twice my weight, a look that meant -- "Look! I shot the little punk bastard who said that!" And there was much rejoicing.

Joining in a mulligan's stew of sexually explicit tales, spoken all-too loudly, when behind me children are capable of hearing only me; one of whom, I think, knew me.

Smoking (see previous posts) only to be bleary-eyed and incapable of speaking above a Jack Palance whisper -- cigars are not my friends. That's a path I'll not take again.

I think that I'll take my regular path, as boring as it might be.

Hidden lines

I remember when it was okay to play music when you couldn't understnad the words or when they were spoken so quickly that you didn't catch them. Now, of course, there is the internet where you can get any lyrics.
"Greased Lightning", was a song that was okay to play when I was younger, because no one paid attention to the lyrics, "You know that ain't no _hit when you're getting lots of _it (female anatomy)..."
"It's a real __ssy (nickname for cat) wagon..."

What's more useful is that some language is deeply hidden, so well contructed that you don't consciously process it.
"Sonsuvbiches, Bumpises!" -- Christmas Story. I really like this movie. It's great and the father, who reminds me of my father, uses Yosemite Sam profanities: Stickle fifer! (In that regard, my father was not G or PG) You really don't pick up on it, as they distort other curse words throughout, "f--u---d---g---e! Only, I didn't say fudge. I said the Queen Mother of dirty words; the f dash dash dash word."

tele-idiot

or "boob tube"

On many channels when they play a movie they will nicely, though briefly show you a rating ex: PG, with letters underneath to hint at the content.
Some movies, it would seem, should have the alphabet under them.
D rugs
V iolence
L anguage
N udity
S exual situation

Okay.... why is this on regular TV? Moreover ... how can a movie be PG-13 and have DLVSN ? Who's doing the ratings here? I know that the PG movies when I was younger were ... let's say not PG, but PG-13. That makes sense.

Also, how can you censor language, to make it suitable for TV, but leave offensive jokes in it. It's okay if we call Black persons, N____, or insult Jews, but we can't use damn or (rhymes with "hit"). I think the jokes should be cut if the language is cut.

industrial devolution

And I wasn't even at the drive through ...

This year looks like better health year for those around me, but the machines around are dying.
My folks had 3 appliances die: dryer right before my father went in for surgery, freezer soon after, refridgerator after that. His HD on his old computer died a couple of weeks ago, then his speakers -- after he had his computer fixed with a new HD.

In my case: my alternator died (note previous posts), my computer mouse died. Although I have a laptop ... I like the convenience of the mouse, especially with the scroll wheel.

My sister's car was not working (head gasket ruined) and they were looking for cars ... good luck!

What I do have: My father, my family, my uncle who was discharged from hosptial yesterday after a 2-wire defibulator was installed. I have friends: Cerpicio has had surgeries over the course of a year, Lori who has had many different ailments, and my limited illness this year.

I think I'd rather take the pain of financial loss and the anguish of paying for repairs than to lose family or friends. I still feel screw'd at times.

penalty for failure is death

I copied files onto this CD, then I looked at the CD ... nothing was on it

I was, a bit, annoyed

predicting the future

I haven't had a ticket in several years ....
My prediction: in around 16 months ... speeding ticket

They'll raise my rates and say ... bad boy ... good money ... thanks!

My idiocy of renaming things

I often rename things out of disrespect or as it is worthy.
There once was a store named Service Merchandise, but I called it Merchandise, because you certianly weren't getting any service there.
I used to work there and at Walletbuster (Blockbuster Video). "Sir. Sir? Could I please get a membership, pay more money for each rental and get screwed on late fees and pesterd on the phone about them, please?" "No!"
Strange enough, Rod Woodson, of the Pittsburgh Steelers is from Indiana and had applied for a membership. I had to deny him due to lack of ID. He was, then at Purdue.
Hillcrest ... biggoted manager who directed all application takers to fold a corner of any non-white applicant. Money-pinching #$&%$^ !!!! He died of a heart attack, I think.
Walletbuster ... head manager ... biggoted and nuts. I thought the Hillcrest manager was nuts til I met a person who didn't like the flavor of oxygen --- hardly saw her without a cigarette in the mouth.
Another place ... ______ Fire Protection. One manager there was a bigot and a womanizer. He reported to me that the allegations of spousal abuse --- assault were false. I stupidly believed him. Lo and behold ... his second significant other charged him with the same thing --- no, no, no ... you see ... that's all lies!
The [insert homosexual duragatory here] was really friggin odd. We had a lame meeting in Indy and I lef the hotel room to get ice, or some damn fool thing. I got back, knocked and the guy's in his underwear, walking around.
"What? It's just my underwear."
(think ... did not pack nuclear explosive nor gun with silencer)
After the lame meeting, he thought bar shopping might be good. I knew of Broadripple. We went there and the last place we went was on the verge of gay Paris.

I think livid is the term here.

anyway ... got back unmolested and not needing to kill ... at that time.
I have a habit of altering names ... such as those above. I also commonly refer to Best Buy as Worst Buy, because the prices stink ... their service is absent (not tardy) not enrolled, and their specials -- rebates at 6 months in waiting.
I refer to Taco Bell as Taco Hades (not the humor) ... sadly, in a class I referred to this place as Taco Hades, having then to rename it. Thank goodness I don't have a more profain name for it.

When I have tried to find Walletbuster in the phone book, I was once looking under "W"
Thankfully, those around me are growing used to these stupidities. I think, certainly most agree that Blockbuster is Walletbuster ... charging you too much, whenever, however they can.

In a previous post I mentioned courtesy and not making others work on significant holidays. Do the lowly workers a favor -- don't rent or shop for movies ON Christmas Day. They have to work, but the CEOs don't. Don't make them work, while you look through shelves of nothing because everything good is already gone. Then don't go complaining to them, because they shouldn't listen to your criping because your lame butt didn't think of that before.

I never thought that, although I don't suffer schizophenia, that I would commonly use neologisms. They are hardly unique to schizophenics, but are generally less-well used. It's truly one if you negate knowledge of the original and true word/name.