for all I've done, seen and heard but did nothing about it, inaction that lead to pain and suffering. It's all here, pulsing like a very restful heartbeat ... thump (guilt), feelings of completion, thump (guilt), why can't I concentrate, thump (guilt -- fear), I'm angry about what, thump (guilt -- answer my call, I'm not going away), I'm breathing heavier now ... no rest for the wicked
What can I do to solve it ... accept that I'm wrong, that I should strive to avoid doing it again (thump, thump) and [explitives here] stop it!!! Hate -- anger ... guilt is a mighty hunter, always winning with a conscious-bearing prey. I know I've always had one, but this little nymph grew, no longer the size of a child, but now my size and still growing. A conscious that is stronger sometimes than want and wont, it will consume the ills and the passions, but the change will be good.
My ill-will exposes itself now, as Blogger indicated failure to connect! [insert foul language here]
Monday, March 27, 2006
Racked with blame
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1 comment:
I had to read this one a few times before I "decoded" it. And believe me, if it's tough for me, it's impossible to most. It reads a lot better if you use the word I think you were looking for, and that's "conscience," instead of consious. So, I'm getting that you had a student that exhibited some warning signs of abuse in one form or another, but didn't think enough of it to act on it and later found out there was an incident in her family? Is that close?
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