Timely Demise of Sanity

Gradually degenerating into ignorance and complacency.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

It is the beginning of the bite

I felt this thing, enduring its sucking until I could get this shot.

Posted by Marcus at 11:32 PM

2 comments:

MR said...

tell me something... when something BAD happens to you, do you feel you deserve it?

June 27, 2008 9:01 AM
Marcus said...

If I am to consider this a serious question, I will try to answer clearly, which isn't normal for me.

Many good things have happened to me, so I can't just say that I have suffered miserably for these decades. This doesn't mean that I am without questions.

While often I set myself up for problems, such as allowing a mosquito to bite me or putting things in the way or being careless in walking stubbing my toe. These are examples of stupid stuff that isn't long lasting that affects no one globally. I can set myself up for success with a positive attitude and planning. That also is under my control.

As far as deserving all misery, I don't think so. I would say that contracting a virus and getting rheumatic fever yielding heart damage isn't what "I deserved". It has played nearly no real problem in my life, still I didn't set myself up for it.

Not all things that happen can be traced to a thing the "victim" did. They cannot always "deserve" punishment. Rather than run through newspaper examples and hypothetical, I stand by my statement that not all things are precipitated by the actions of the victim.

I am losing my faith because I am thinking of the practicality of things and the "Zen" of it all. While Zen and Christianity can mesh, they are usually seen as distinct -- mutually exclusive. All actions, therefore are merely reactions to other events. All things are tied together through energy, force, time, space.

I am losing faith for I see things that are results of "randomness" that are hard to logically follow through the preceding acts. My examples I gave are simple to follow. I generally help bring about the situations.

I am losing faith for I see problems escalating far beyond a controllable level and find it hard to comprehend how so many disasters and hardships play a role in God's plan. I don't claim to understand God's plan, but can't pawn off, "God's will" as a perfunctory statement anymore.

A person dies or suffers through no act or series of acts of their own making, I'm hardly satisfied with, "it is the will of God that she/he die at age 13." A person contracts Alzheimer's, did they do something in their past to deserve that?

God's point is purpose driven. Peace, love, forgiveness, universality spread to everything -- humans, dogs, pets, creatures.

If a pet is soulless, yet you accept treating it kindly as you would a person, you have extended love to a "lesser being". Why stop at this semantic level of understanding? Why would a soulless pet be more deserving than any other soulless living thing?

Why isn't there anything more in the bible about the way things work? Are there notations about the oceans, the solar system, the galaxy, the universe? Why not?

My faith has to be dynamic, broad, not simple based on one translation of scripture. I think broadly, how things apply to all other things. I am losing my faith, because I question, because I doubt, because it doesn't fill me. I want to treasure it, but it no longer answers the questions I have.

I am arrogant and want to know. I am not so placated with, "It is God's will" now. People are good and evil. People suffer through no course of action of their own being. I can't blend this with the loving God who seeks to see you grow and help improve the world by your being.

I haven't given up on my faith, but it is fading from me.

June 27, 2008 10:41 AM

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