coming to close on a chapter

So ... it was not to be, permanent and I knew that.

It appears that my "partnership" with this special woman will forever change as I encourage her to return to her relationship with 'him'. He made an effort to make things better, to improve things, to reunite them as a couple. How could I interfere with that? I encouraged her to pursue that possibility. She was worried that she would lose me, but really what will happen is that she and I will separate and be friends -- nothing more.

It's a lot better than the many breakups I've had ... I don't really feel bad, sorry, or terribly ill. I still have a friend, with whom I have shared some interesting times, personal goals, secrets, and parts of me I rarely share for she inspired me to do stupid things to impress her or to make her happy, even at the cost of my would-be "dignity".