Judge has simple plan

Custody is awarded to neither party, as both are stupid an incompetent. Sharing a 6-piece chicken nugget pack of brains, Federline and Britney file for sole custody of tragically doomed children unless judge orders arbitration between the two to find a suitable third party to raise their children.

It was once speculated that with some training, the couple might obtain a full "value meal", but recent events make this strongly unlikely. With Federline, a no-brainer punk, whose idiocy is matched only with his aversion to talent, seeking custody because his mama said so, Britney has other reasons. While being pregnant-chunky hasn't helped her, as well as dropping her child at least once, her attorney encourages her to seek sole custody for public relations sake. Reportedly knowing that she has a difficult time distinguishing between the children's crying, her crying and Federline's crying; her attorney has nonetheless sought sole custody for Spears.

Spears' attorney also wishes to quash Federline's attorney's use of, "Oops, I did it again" from any court document, citing the potential of associating it with her carelessness and general air-head apparent. He is also seeking to show Federline's inability to dress himself, pass any written exam, and his inability to pass drug screening. More to the point as being a poor "father (snicker) figure", he has no potential for employment, instead he would contentiously soak up the good yeild on Spears' fame and fortune. A "vroom, vroom" enthusaist, Federline plans to market his "nation de arte vrooms". After speaking with his English-speaking attorney, it was understood that Federline has plans for new "sophisticated" vehicles including cars, trucks and 'cycles'+ that all must go "vroom, vroom" (with the aid of a sound system).

Spears' has requested, much to the sickening of her attorney that Mattel pay her millions of dollars for falsely marketing that "cheap ho who been cheatin' and hatin' on her" in reference to Barbie (TM). She also wishes to receive "cash" for every time her doorbell rings, with the tones similar to one of her songs. As they sound much the same, her attorney could not narrow it down to a specific song. She has also requested that all children named Britney around the time of her Mickey Mouse fame and onward pay her royalties for using her name.

After some hard deliberation, he has ordered both Spears and Federline into the circus to perform various acts as prescribed by the ring master. After a federal review, it seems very likely that this will stand in court as a fair judgment. For the sake of the children, they have been given over to an Ohio couple that wishes to remain annonymous. The couple has ackowledged that they don't listen to Spears' music and was unaware that she or Fenderline were in the "talent" industry.

+ "cycles" was an agreed upon term after negotiating with Federline that "two-wheelie things -- fast ones", "hoggies", "big wheels", and "supra fastest vroom vrooms" were summarily dismissed by his attorney.