I disapprove of this message

I am [insert name here] and I approve of this message. America needs [insert banter here] and I can bring positive change. I am the right [candidate gender] for the job. Americans want [list of needs and some desires] (missing is that America wants to remain on top, realistic or not -- that's what Americans really want) and with [these steps] (we or America) can make it happen. And now a word from our sponsor: [Have you tried Ego-Viagra; do! It will perk up any normal ego into a superego. This is RJ Reynolds ... This is car company blah, blah. Here at Mobil Oil, we care about the environment.] Welcome back!

As I was saying ... thanks to the American market (ie: company commercials) we are stronger as a country and can win the war on terror (though we'll scare you into not sleeping at night). All we need to do is turn our tail and run and threaten to not buy anything, though virtually nothing is made in America now. We need to be oil independent ...

[H3, more fuel efficient than numbers 1 and 2, and you can drive over trees in Yellowstone, it has that much power to conquer the wild.]

So, vote for me. I promise less cronyism; isn't that right guys? Yes, [sir or mam].

I will now entertain questions with a politician's song and dance.

"I love to dance a little sidestep."