Lawyers ( ___ you and the suits you rode in on)

Two cars carrying 5 lawyers each get into a rear end collision. Obviously there were suits filed, and here are the basics:
front car rear ended (driver: Bob, passenger Susan; rear Frank, Robert, Shane)
rear ending car (driver: Pat, passenger Ted; rear Becky, Paul, Tad)

* suit filed against Bob for traveling at unsafe speed, 2 miles over the speed limit
* suit filed against traffic officer at scene for saying, "(at least there isn't a) fire", causing a panic where Robert hastily crawled over Shane to escape -- bruising and also bruised with Shane trampling him. Pat ran back to her car trying to free wedged-in Tad, who was pulled from his seat, causing lacerations. This mayhem with pulling and shaking jarred the joined cars to roll down the hill. This, in turn caused Becky to tumble down the hill and ruin her suit.
** replacement of suit and shoes ($3500)
** replacement, repair of wiring system for stereo ($56,000) to be shipped to Sony in Japan, including gas refilling and drive time – over and above vehicle repair costs
** replacement of CD collection in 500 CD changer in car ($75,000) including irreplaceable originals from Yugoslavian grunge band, who split and cannot be located
** replacement of car phone antenna, ($2500)

*** suit filed against Leanna, driver of vehicle who called in to the police regarding accident – as she was driving and talking on cell phone, filed by all ten lawyers

*** replacement of broken keychain, $10 (including travel time to store to purchase and stopping by ATM for cash)

**** marked as billable, cost of phone call to police by third party (Leanna); time lost in waiting for officers (2 minutes, plus 95 minutes to sort out fault, insurance and scene as the lawyers made a mess of it); reportedly talking and thinking about 96 different case files during accident, so all those accounts were billed also; lost paperwork to be refilled (though these were extra copies to be shredded – cost of reproduction, shredding)