Gradually degenerating into ignorance and complacency.

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

just the pictures

These are pictures from an old health book on home first aid. I think you can make great captions for them yourself. I will submit just a few. Uh, too easy
When he won't give you the money ...
Mommy isn't pregnant . . . and neither are you little girl.
Truth or Dare. Maybe you should try, "truth" next time.
I have chosen the worst possible reading position. I shall also impair my reading with this stern look closing my eyes.
Boy, the exorcism took much of Mommy's Tupperware Party time. It looks like some one's in trouble.
You're young, the machines are big and odd looking. Yes, Virginia, you will be scared.
It's OK. Everyone your age is getting an earring. You say your day is a Village person?
Whoa! You sold your kidney? Maybe next time they'll take it out from the correct side.
So you see, Jill, we can't release you until ....
Good . . . cough, whoa. OK, you're G. I. tract is working now.
Melinda found this really made getting pregnant tough.
We found this, you called it incense ash, in your bedroom Betty. Could you explain it? It doesn't smell like incense.
"Lava Boy, on the other hand ..."
"This is how Mommy keeps her weight down. Come on, in a few years it will be a piece of cake. Oh, did I say cake? Mommy will be binging and purging that tonight, for sure!"
"You know how you are on long trips Timmy. Sniff this like last time and we''ll be half-way there before you know it."

I after E except when it's thee

Spelling ... it's actually automated in most programs. You should try using it.

Old artists graded

circa 15th century
Mary, mother of God is seen being hit by a stream of light. Huh. So, there she was in the lower floor of the two-story manger in beautiful and ornate Nazareth. Oh, wait, maybe that is when the angel of the Lord blessed her with child, while the very early wise men are at her door.

F. If you aren't going to paint it right, you aren't getting paid.

Ah, lovely freakihsly white Mary, I'll let that go, is with child. For all the world to see Jesus ... what is that thing? Why is that guy there? Look, if you can't paint a dog, don't try. What a mess! You had a great thing here and you botched it!

F. You can pick up your coupon for a free order of fritas on the way out.
So, you even drew the king wondering what the heck that was. Yeah, that was about my first question when I looked at your work here. Let's see, you spent all the money in the first three months and spent the next five months in a bottle and you finally submit this very late and disastrous work.

F! Fired! You get nothing! You lose! Good day, sir!

These are sometimes accredited as being evidence of UFOs and E.T.s. Consider it from a purchaser's POV. You commission a painting of an important event or person and you get oddball crap.