lovely pinnacle

sleepines -- may I rest in peace

something about nothing, sleepless me

I'll ramble from here on out -- bare with me or ignore it all.

 

My age, as it is -- midlife, makes dating difficult.  There are many women my age and age area (within 7 years), but .... so many are married.  Couple this with no 30-40s some safe dating area where there aren't -- are you gonna marry me before we kiss, or I'm fine with you, as long as you don't mind the U-Haul of emotional baggage I carry (for both sexes and genders).

 

I saw a woman tonight that was cute ... nice, damnit -- married!  One piece of advice; if you don't want to have persons/people stare at your butt --- don't have a cute one, don't advertise it with underwear that show through your clothes.

 

I think that I'm a little wiser on the Jacob Marley entering the scene with clanking chains that are the ones forged in life, link by link, chain by chain, yard by yard ... and there is the "baggage".  I think that, although I have Spiderman-level of hangups, I'm not toting around so many chains.  It would be nice to find someone of the same calibur -- though a bit of my opposite.

 

I'm not interested in a Jessica Simpson (or her character) pretty and completely stupid -- that's a rose that needs lost of weeding and tending.  I also wouldn't want a woman so interested in thinking that intimacy (more than, but including physical) would be "wasteful".

 

I guess -- I'd like Leila (from Furturama) who myoptically pilots a delivery ship and who can compassionately kick my ass.

confidence high

I, and I alone, visited my mother last night in hospital.  She was in fairly good spirits.  It took a couple of hours to get an IV person to get the blood into her veins.  She was given two more units of blood, as after two days of waiting, the numbers came back still a little low.  She took less pain meds today.

 

My father is a wreck, but I'm around so that he can unwind with some golf and poker.  He's in a weekly golf league on Tuesdays and plays poker about every other week on Tuesday.  He was plain whipped so I went to hospital and saw mom.

 

There is a woman there, pacing unable to do much, while her husband is to undergo heart surgery again.  She looks my age, but I understand that she's fifty (she hides it very well).  I could do little but wave to her.  Still, she paces.

 

I found that, when I get a chance to walk -- it's much like a full marathon, shedding weight from my shoulders and back, feeling better -- then slump, back into waiting.  My eyes feel heavy, but I can't sleep well.

"I don't know what I'm doing.  No one will tell me.  I think this was a big mistake Grandma.  I don't think I belong here."+

 

 

+ Platoon

As a simple side note, my brother-in-law wrote to the folks, graciously thanking them for the birthday card and gift.  His year is another round of BS and that's not bachelors.  I read the letter to Mom, and I dare say that his letter was hurried, as it was a tad difficult to read.  Mind you, I can read preschool writing.  His broad loops -- old French style, made it an interesting, but challenging bit.

 

Much to Mother's worry and bewilderment, is that her friend, Betty will be discharged from same hospital on Wednesday, there transferred to rehab, though different than Mother's prospective rehab hospital++.  Mom may or may not see her again soon.

 

Betty's daughter must decide where Betty is to go.  Her daughter's hands are "full" with many other obligations.  On top of that, Betty is not interested in assisted living -- nor are most/all patients in nursing homes.

 

++ assignment of rehab hospitals is based on:  need, criteria, ratios.

1.  need -- can patient do rehab in other fashion, not in-house

2. basis of need -- phsyical, neurological

3. New to me:  ratios.  There are some facilities that must maintain ratios of say (percentages picked out of thin air) 62% physical rehab (limb removal, replacement), 25% neurological (e.g.: siezure), 12% other (other prosthetic like eye, inner eye, etc.).  So, a building can't be 100% hip and knee replacement patients.

 

That's crazy, but that's insurance policy/demands, and government standards for payout.

--

It is very, very, likely that Mother will be at the campus rehab at Lutheran, but that hasn't been made as she's not yet in her standard room.

machines

Mother is improving and she is "attached" to machines that bend her knees.  She isn't doing as much on PT as they would like, so they are using machines to do it for her.  She claimed that it wasn't too bad -- felt good.  I'm sure that she was stiff, but isn't up to lifting her legs and doing much of anything on her own.

 

She's clearer, focussed and hoping and dreaming of going to REHAB hospital soon.  I think that it'll be later, perhaps next Monday, as her Pulse, Heart rate and Blood Pressure are all too high, despite a nitro drip and a couple other meds.  The doctors came about to see her, ensuring her that she won't sleep.  In a retort to a doctor who came in while she was drifting off to sleep, "how can I".

 

She's in better spirits.

How the world turns

It appears that my mother is improving.  She is clear(er) than she has been.  She is in pain only from the PT, but she is improving.  I have been driving my father and myself back and forth to hospital several times daily.

 

I thank everyone for their wishes and prayers and will contact people later when these ICU crappy times ebb, in favor of a new matrix -- regular room and longer visiting times.