Facebook or Place(your ad here)book?Sunday, January 25, 2009
A crumby commercial?
This is a professional sales and marketing position with the Western & Southern, a 120 year old, $47 billion financial services company headquartered in Cincinnati, Ohio. We have consistently earned outstanding ratings available from the major financial ratings services - Standard & Poor's AA+ (second-highest of 9 ratings, and one of only 11 fleets in the world to hold this rating) for Extremely Strong financial security, Fitch's AA+ (second-highest of 12 ratings) for Exceptionally Strong capacity to meet policyholder and contract obligations, and A.M. Best's A++ (Superior-highest of 16 ratings) for financial strength, operating performance and market profile. For more information please feel free to visit our website at...
What does that have to do with a job interview? That was in an "I found your resume'" unsolicited email.
Duh, let's try a relly bad tag line instead
You hate working Mondays, right? Well, let's focus on that and work with me here. Let's turn that apathy into energy by selling, marketing, selling! Go, rah, hey, yes! Turn "no" into "yes" and "F**k you, you pestering annoying as **it ***hole **cker" into "Why, yes, I'd like more, please."
With multi-layered (not to be confused with multi-level) marketing, be like Shrek and onion or parfait. You work hard, get paid for it+ Cold call anyone in an area code. Are you comfortable with scaring elderly people with the fear of death and God into buying completely inapplicable things and decades-old deals? We have the (snow)job for you!
Send us your resume', cellphone number, SSN, DOB, and bank account and let's start making your money today.++
+ ensuring that the other thirty-five layers above you all get their cut
++ sardonic laugh sold separately
others have talents
While this robber "changed into a goat", I can merely change into the shape of water ... oh, wait. No. That's one of the Wonder Twins. I can turn into a pencil...
No. That's stupid too. I think when I shape change, I'll turn into a car! Wait, too eighties. That would make me a bad TV series. I got it! I'll turn into a stereo! Oh, no that won't work at all. I can turn into a cellphone, a TV, a . . .
ah, crud! You caught me! I can't turn into anything.
1 school thinks
It is better to be dead than well read. A family member will not have a contract renewed for teaching. Apparently that family member failed too many students who would otherwise endanger people if allowed to pass. Remember, in some schools, it's OK to be so-so or flunky when finishing your degree in medicine.
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