Dolphin Embasador captured

For generations, dolphins have been trying to develop legs to walk among the bipeds who have fudged up the water. In a drastic attempt to negotiate with the humans, they dolphins have sent their ambassador, only to have him caught with people speculating that he has "old genes". Damn! What will those fools think next?

Humans, barely able to speak to each other, could hardly tell that the ambassador was repeatedly communicating with them. In the end, he was "squeaking" as the humans call it, rather coarse language regarding being held upside-down out of water. Apparently humans have forgotten they are heavier out of water.

Suffice to say, talks between the species never took place. Dolphins are cursed the retarded humans and have blanketedly called off any attempt to talk with them for some time. Dolphins have not taken to pushing themselves toward oil on dares, the toxins bringing them to newer levels of consciousness.

DSI

Ian Kerner, Ph D, has written an attempted humor book on dating using acronyms. I do wonder about the author as he tends to cast the guys in the sinister role. Granted, not all of the relationships are terrible, some are quite retrievable, others were doomed at the start.

If you have time, can look beyond the cartoonish humor, and are interested is "might be us (me)" theories, this might be worth a quick read. I would not recommend this book as a weapon, as in those seeking reasons to quit their relationship. My advice there is -- if the problems can be either accepted or changed, then there you go. If not, then away you go; simple.

UHF?

Today, we're going to learn about nature's own suction cup, the turtle. [man licks the plastron and sticks turtle to ceiling] We will then move on to Rambo-esque Gandhi in Gandhi II. Thanks Weird Al!

XP to fax, do you read me

Nope.

Getting XP to fax was NOT intuitive, but it is possible. It took a websearch and more to figure it out. What a complete pain in the butt! I finally got it to work, which is great considering I need to fax some resume's.

brews ter

Thanks to MR for this one! I think circa 2000 (?) MR mentioned that my hand was, well ... oddly located. I think, "drinkin' wine coolers and feeling yourself". Thanks MR! Maia doesn't seem to like it or ... she was looking at the mammoth stocking.

decoder ring

Oh, Pierre was in rare form tonight.
24, 16, 8, 24, 12 ...

Remember, only those who are in Annie's secret circle can decode this important message.

besureto, be sure to what? The fate of the planet could rest in the balance.

Be sure to vote for ... Republican (Democrat).

A cruddy commercial? Son of a **itch!
........
this diaglogue borrowed from Christmas Story, available at stores near you.

I think I'll have the same profanity after Tuesday's election.

Mike's party

mikeparty
Originally uploaded by daveandjj_II.

picture by Dave.

Here, I ask what is Johnny Depp doing to poor Santa (Dave). I always thought Depp might be a butt pirate, perhaps this proves it!

on hands and knees

Yesterday, I did the old seasonal thing of gutter clearing. I do this twice a year and usually for a neighbor or two as well. I am either an old man now, or that is more work than I remember. Up and down on the knees step, shift, step shift, pull. The leaves in the neighbor's gutters were dry. Sadly, mine were wet. On both roofs I got the added "benefit" of raccoon and oppossum poop. Gee, thanks, it's what I always wanted.

Either they had a nature call or they were claiming territory. I think both are equally likely. Anyway, I'm sure the other neighbor, whose gutters I probably need to get will have tokens in there as well. Gross. Thanks, but no thanks.